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Old 10-14-2011, 10:17 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,524,402 times
Reputation: 29082

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jm02 View Post
No, I would not go back to 50s and 60s for anything. I only wish we could bring back some of the civility of that era.
I wish we could too but I think the reality is that it would have to be accompanied by some of the relative "innocense" of that era as well or it just wouldn't work. Our society has seemed to coarsen over the years and I find that most unfortunate. Attacks, both physical and verbal, seems to have replaced social and societal, "polite" discourse.

In selecting a retirement venue we looked at a region with a degree of "arrested development" - not a throwback to a bygone era but somewhere civil-minded, neighborly and above all, polite. In our two years where we now reside we've yet to be treated with anything less than courtesy and respect and that includes from younger generations. It no longer shocks us to be addressed as "Sir" and "Ma'am", to have doors held for us and on the rare occasion I wear something that gives away my status or someone notices our license plate, to be thanked for my military service.

It's all very refreshing!
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Old 10-14-2011, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,833 posts, read 7,732,605 times
Reputation: 15151
Yes, I'd go back in a heart beat. Curmugeon has the right idea. There are nice places where people are still somewhat polite. Probably it would be more in smaller towns, but also areas where people have been moving to. Many times, in small towns, the locals don't welcome outsiders very well. I know a woman who married a man and moved to his farm near a small town. She's been there 25 years. Still considered an outsider.
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Old 10-14-2011, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Center City
6,869 posts, read 7,818,981 times
Reputation: 9501
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
I wish we could too but I think the reality is that it would have to be accompanied by some of the relative "innocense" of that era as well or it just wouldn't work. Our society has seemed to coarsen over the years and I find that most unfortunate. Attacks, both physical and verbal, seems to have replaced social and societal, "polite" discourse.

In selecting a retirement venue we looked at a region with a degree of "arrested development" - not a throwback to a bygone era but somewhere civil-minded, neighborly and above all, polite. In our two years where we now reside we've yet to be treated with anything less than courtesy and respect and that includes from younger generations. It no longer shocks us to be addressed as "Sir" and "Ma'am", to have doors held for us and on the rare occasion I wear something that gives away my status or someone notices our license plate, to be thanked for my military service.

It's all very refreshing!
It may surprise you, but I find the young people of all races in Center City Philadelphia extremely polite to this middle-aged white guy. They hold doors for me in stores and other venues, excuse themselves when thy bump into me on the street, etc. I think the line that young folks today are impolite is more a convention than a truth. We have also been invited into several homes in the first 9 months we've lived here.

Part of me wonders whether retirement itself has helped me slow down to where where I notice the politeness more than when I was harried trying to meet the demands of the office. Can't be sure, but as you said, "It's all very refreshing."
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Old 10-14-2011, 11:19 AM
 
7,341 posts, read 16,664,195 times
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Funny, I was just reading a comment in Facebook from a farmer/classmate of mine. He was talking about driving a combine down a paved road that is increasing (year to year) getting more traffic on it. For a distance, there was no place for him to pull the combine over to the side to let the traffic behind him go by. When a place was available, he pulled over and a number of vehicles drove by him and threw him the finger. He said, "I just don't understand people today........where is courtesy and patience"? I told him that when I was an EMT (years ago) and on an emergency call (lights/siren), a lot of folks wouldn't pull over to the side for me unless I got on the mic/speaker system and said "please pull to the right". Even though I'm not in that occupation anymore, I still see it happen often. As for me, I pull over, put my arm/hand outside the window in the "stop" manner.

He also said that he was driving a tractor to one of his fields and passed by a house where an elderly lady was sitting in a lawn chair. She raised her arm and waved "hi" at him with a smile. He didn't know her and she didn't know him! He said "to say the least, I was shocked because I don't have strangers wave "hi" at me anymore while driving the tractor. "I sure wish there were more people like that lady in America! he said. His last statement was, "why is America so unfriendly today unlike back in the 60's and 70's?" I told him is because of all the crime, unemployment, the economy and other crap that's going on.
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Old 10-14-2011, 11:25 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,524,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
He also said that he was driving a tractor to one of his fields and passed by a house where an elderly lady was sitting in a lawn chair. She raised her arm and waved "hi" at him with a smile. He didn't know her and she didn't know him! He said "to say the least, I was shocked because I don't have strangers wave "hi" at me anymore while driving the tractor. "I sure wish there were more people like that lady in America! he said. His last statement was, "why is America so unfriendly today unlike back in the 60's and 70's?" I told him is because of all the crime, unemployment, the economy and other crap that's going on.
We were "warned" when we were making our final move that people in these parts wave to one another whether they know them or not. And it's true. Took some getting used to, coming as we did from a place where being waved to while in your car usually meant receiving a half a peace sign and was not accompanied by a smile.
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Old 10-14-2011, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,178 posts, read 8,707,888 times
Reputation: 6214
Smile I agree!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jm02 View Post
It may surprise you, but I find the young people of all races in Center City Philadelphia extremely polite to this middle-aged white guy. They hold doors for me in stores and other venues, excuse themselves when thy bump into me on the street, etc. I think the line that young folks today are impolite is more a convention than a truth. We have also been invited into several homes in the first 9 months we've lived here.

Part of me wonders whether retirement itself has helped me slow down to where where I notice the politeness more than when I was harried trying to meet the demands of the office. Can't be sure, but as you said, "It's all very refreshing."
I still work and I'm a mortgage broker. My favorite clients are my first time homebuyers - usually they are 23-35 - and I love this age group. Of course, having children - one of them anyway in her 20's helps - I engage young people in conversation whenever I can and I get very positive results. Now, first of all, I don't look my age but I usually get a friend request for LinkedIn or FB after talking to them. Also, I have 10 nieces and nephews that are in their early 20's so they are a cool group.

Maybe it's because I'm a female but I usually get doors held for me and if I go to the gym and one time, I was unsure about a machine and this young guy noticed my struggle, came over, showed me what to do and now everytime I see him, he speaks to me.

I am really of the old school where if you treat people nicely, they will treat you the same. Even though I grew up in the 60's and 70's, my parents treated everyone equally (that's what I saw).

I agree, though, that the civility today must change. I might not agree with the President but he is our President and should be respected as such. I mean, when I grew up, it was President Ford, President Carter, etc. Now, it's just Jimmy or Bill or whatever. That's a shame.
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Old 10-14-2011, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,178 posts, read 8,707,888 times
Reputation: 6214
Smile I love this sentence!!

[quote=jm02;21284407]It may surprise you, but I find the young people of all races in Center City Philadelphia extremely polite to this middle-aged white guy. They hold doors for me in stores and other venues, excuse themselves when thy bump into me on the street, etc. I think the line that young folks today are impolite is more a convention than a truth. We have also been invited into several homes in the first 9 months we've lived here. QUOTE]

I love this!!
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Old 10-14-2011, 03:52 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
5,372 posts, read 9,877,585 times
Reputation: 10243
What I miss most from those days/times was the innocence and the lack of mass murders with guns..there may have been some back then, but very few. We felt secure in our little homes--except for the threat of nuclear warfare, of course. But "Duck n Cover' took care of that particular threat, yes? How very, very innocent we were.
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Old 10-14-2011, 04:05 PM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,596 posts, read 10,952,678 times
Reputation: 19258
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
He also said that he was driving a tractor to one of his fields and passed by a house where an elderly lady was sitting in a lawn chair. She raised her arm and waved "hi" at him with a smile. He didn't know her and she didn't know him! He said "to say the least, I was shocked because I don't have strangers wave "hi" at me anymore while driving the tractor. "I sure wish there were more people like that lady in America! he said. His last statement was, "why is America so unfriendly today unlike back in the 60's and 70's?" I told him is because of all the crime, unemployment, the economy and other crap that's going on.
People did this fifty years ago; they do it today. It depends upon where you are. Everyone does it where I live on secondary rural roads. In town people don't and never did unless it's a tiny town and people are traveling very slowly. It's not that town folks are discourteous, however; there are just too many vehicles.

But based upon their previous posts, most posters on this thread would hate these areas because they're all White. The culture is White. The closest Cody, Wyoming comes to "diversity" is a couple of Chinese restaurants. There is a Mexican restaurant or two. But most people prefer Taco John's.

In the summer there's a nightly show on the steet. It features a shoot out and a great deal of comedy. Several hundred people see it every night. The show is free but people can rent a chair on the porch of the Irma Hotel with the proceeds going to charity. The first time I saw the show and the audience I thought I was back in the West of 1950. I think it feels the same for everyone there even if they were born in 1990. Is there a "diverse" audience? No. If there were it wouldn't be what it is.

I'm glad I live here.
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Old 10-14-2011, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,700,326 times
Reputation: 35450
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof View Post
Also good coffee and TV remote controls. Remember how we kids were the remote controls?

My laptop and Internet pretty much offset anything bad about living in the present times. The ability to read almost any book online without having to trudge over to the library, to see any movie without going to a theater (and yet still having theaters if one wants the full-blown experience!), to read almost any newspaper in the world for free, to converse with people around the world in an instant like this, or through email, for kids to play games infinitely better than the lame board games we had (admit it), free music and videos of every imaginable kind ..... and how much better is email than snail mail!

But I'd second the idea so many here have expressed, that childhoods were so much better then. Our play time was with each other and mainly outdoors - in fact I was pushed out of doors if I stayed in too long on summer vacation. We didn't have the cool video games and internet to make us want to stay indoors, nor had parents developed the array of bogeymen that make them hover over children constantly now. It's easy to see why so many kids are fat now, even without the array of appetite-stimulating junk foods available now.

We did have our junk foods of course, but burned them off with the day's playing. We had the ice cream and candy, and everyone thought highly of Wonder Bread except for my stodgy Old World parents. There was something special about Kool-Aid to a child ...... it's nothing but mutagenic dyes, sugar, and artificial flavors, but the colors and the coldness, and the dew on glass, were so awesome coming in thirsty from a ball game. Those bright dyes offered more than they delivered - the flavor couldn't touch real lemonade made by a competent grandmother, which was more than simply lemon juice and sugar added to water (I did discover the secret ingredient recently).

Things were simpler and easier. One income, the man's, was enough to buy a house and a car, and basic appliances. People weren't as greedy, because there were fewer consumer goods to lust after. Women were happy enough with their homemaker roles (seriously, all the ones I talked to were fine with the traditional division of labors). My impression is that very few women were involved with the demands and changes of women's lib until the early 70s, when it became more trendy in the general population. Still, it's good that a woman now is not excluded from certain professions, as they certainly were back then. Basic rights are a funny thing ...... people deserve them, even if acknowledging them doesn't always turn out to be the best thing for the happiness and stability of a society.

It was all right for women to work or go to college (for liberal arts), until they were married. After that it was frowned on, unless they were magazine editors or in the fashion industry.

There was only one minority in New England back then: Negroes or Colored People. Everyone else was European or a WASP. The only Hispanic person was Ricky Ricardo on the I Love Lucy Show. Blacks had it pretty bad back then even up North: practically speaking they were only hired for "n* work" such as garbage man, burglars, janitors, cooks, delivery, or factory work (on the line, never as supervisors). They were the butt of rather frequent practical jokes in my Massachusetts home town, things that would get white people beaten to death nowadays. I remember my sister-in-law would take me around in her car and shoot blanks from a revolver when we passed black pedestrians. She would laugh hysterically when they ducked and ran, and then she'd speed off.

Yeah, it's definitely a mixed bag, between then and now. Life is so much easier and more convenient in many ways now, and the combined knowledge, wisdom and arts of human history are literally at my fingertips right now. But as several of you have said, for a child growing up it was certainly better then.

I really chuckled at your remote control comment. My parents had my sisters and me in that role. My mom used to say "You get up and change the channel, your legs are younger than ours; " A little bit more exercise for the kids.

My mom used to kick the kids out of the house too if we were wasting a beautiful summer day indoors. She told us we needed the sunshine or we would get pale and sick. Methinks she just got tired of having us underfoot but then we usually were okay with going outside, finding our friends and playing some games. And games for us required imagination, a few sticks maybe and whatever treasures we found along the alleys. No batteries included. We didn't need them.

But regarding your last comment about women being happy staying home. I agree many were happy being homemakers but some, like my mom, had to work even in those days.

And my mom wanted to work. We could have scraped by but she was never really happy in the role of full time housewife and mother. She was very happy with her part time job of typist. She loved it.

Today there is not such a stigma against women who don't want to marry or have families. They have more choices of supporting themselves. There were those women in the 50's and 60's who felt that way but were ostracized for it.

I don't think it has anything to do with being trendy. I believe it has more to do with necessity. There was a proliferation of women seeking jobs outside the home partly because they needed to but also because opportunities became more prevalent.

The point I am trying to make here is that anyone, man or woman, who is allowed more choices and avenues for choosing a way of living is living in better times. I think it equally great that men are now more acceptable in traditional women's jobs like nursing or flight attendant just as much as it is for women to be in traditional men's roles like doctor or physicist.
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