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Old 10-04-2011, 03:08 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,193,442 times
Reputation: 22375

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We had to drag my parents (81 y/o today) into the late 20th C in the early 90s by giving them a fax machine and a "word processor" - my sister gave them an answering machine. We worked with them to teach them how to use all the items . . . gave them handbooks . . . wrote down instructions, spent hours on the phone . . . this went on for about a year. THey wouldn't use any of the items. Finally, my sister insisted they use the answering machine after a family emergency occurred and no one could leave them a message in a timely manner. They finally agreed to the answering machine.

The fax machine was used a few times, when one of us were there to help them use it. Finally, they did figure out how to use it to "copy" things so at least it got some use as a copier.

What is so perplexing about this is . . . my dad is a writer and mom is an excellent typist. They each have an electronic typewriter but i have no idea what they are doing for ribbons these days!

Hubby and I gave them a Mac in 2006. The grandchildren and I have spent hours trying to get them to feel confident about the computer. We have written out instructions, talk them thru/ it on the phone, but they have never used the computer. They seem extremely intimidated by the whole process, yet when we are all together, all my sisters kids have Macs, iPhones, iPads, as do my hubby, me and my kids. So a family gathering is quite the experience. Add the xbox and everyone is on something electronic - except my parents.

We bought them a cell phone in the mid 90s and they rarely used it but in the last few years, they have learned how convenient a cell phone can be - so now we get calls while they are traveling.

My mom is the youngest in her family, so her brothers and sisters are in their 80s and early 90s. They all use email and have computers and wonder why my parents are not enjoying email and exchanging photos, recipes, etc.

My sister says we were lucky to get them using 20th C technology at the end of the 20th C, and she is not gonna put more effort into dragging them into the 21st C, lol. At this point, I pretty much agree, altho I would certainly do whatever I could if they showed any interest whatsoever in getting hooked up.

My mom just doesn't get it. We were sitting around one Christmas a few years ago and Mom was explaining something, and she informed us all that this was NOT information off the internet; it was off the world wide web.

SIGH.

As for folks in their 60s and 70s, I don't know anyone who doesn't have cell phones, computers, etc. In fact, most of them are on FB.
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Old 10-04-2011, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,751,136 times
Reputation: 32309
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
We had to drag my parents (81 y/o today) into the late 20th C in the early 90s by giving them a fax machine and a "word processor" - my sister gave them an answering machine. We worked with them to teach them how to use all the items . . . gave them handbooks . . . wrote down instructions, spent hours on the phone . . . this went on for about a year. THey wouldn't use any of the items. Finally, my sister insisted they use the answering machine after a family emergency occurred and no one could leave them a message in a timely manner. They finally agreed to the answering machine.

The fax machine was used a few times, when one of us were there to help them use it. Finally, they did figure out how to use it to "copy" things so at least it got some use as a copier.

What is so perplexing about this is . . . my dad is a writer and mom is an excellent typist. They each have an electronic typewriter but i have no idea what they are doing for ribbons these days!

Hubby and I gave them a Mac in 2006. The grandchildren and I have spent hours trying to get them to feel confident about the computer. We have written out instructions, talk them thru/ it on the phone, but they have never used the computer. They seem extremely intimidated by the whole process, yet when we are all together, all my sisters kids have Macs, iPhones, iPads, as do my hubby, me and my kids. So a family gathering is quite the experience. Add the xbox and everyone is on something electronic - except my parents.

We bought them a cell phone in the mid 90s and they rarely used it but in the last few years, they have learned how convenient a cell phone can be - so now we get calls while they are traveling.

My mom is the youngest in her family, so her brothers and sisters are in their 80s and early 90s. They all use email and have computers and wonder why my parents are not enjoying email and exchanging photos, recipes, etc.

My sister says we were lucky to get them using 20th C technology at the end of the 20th C, and she is not gonna put more effort into dragging them into the 21st C, lol. At this point, I pretty much agree, altho I would certainly do whatever I could if they showed any interest whatsoever in getting hooked up.

My mom just doesn't get it. We were sitting around one Christmas a few years ago and Mom was explaining something, and she informed us all that this was NOT information off the internet; it was off the world wide web.
SIGH.
As for folks in their 60s and 70s, I don't know anyone who doesn't have cell phones, computers, etc. In fact, most of them are on FB.
Sounds like my mother, who died six years ago at age 90. My sister gave her a VCR (remember those?) and showed her how to us it. But no dice, it was just too intimidating, so she never used it. When I would visit, my mother would often ask me to change the clock in her car to reflect standard time versus daylight savings time or vice versa, often months after that time change had taken place. She had two master's degrees (history and library science), so you would think she could read the owner's manual of her car and follow the simple instructions. But no way. These things will always remain a mystery, I think. Once people get it in their minds that something is beyond them, it just doesn't matter at all if it really is or not.

Once we were rushing to her bank to get there before closing time to transact some routine thing, such a depositing a check or getting cash. I pointed out that if she had an ATM card it wouldn't matter if we got there by closing time. No dice, this just made her angry and from a lifetime of experience with my mother I knew it was time for me to drop the subject. The idea of learning to use an ATM card was just too intimidating, but she wouldn't admit that and used some bogus excuse. Go figure.
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Old 10-04-2011, 05:34 PM
 
526 posts, read 742,155 times
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I'll admit it --- I really don't like technology, but can't live without it in today's world. I have this vision of the human race evolving into bug eyed, fat butts with long fingers. Best years of my life was mother earth'n it in the 70's.
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Old 10-04-2011, 06:11 PM
 
7,340 posts, read 16,653,411 times
Reputation: 4568
I remember going from working in a warehouse to working in an office........some weight did go on me! After years of the physical work of driving a forklift, pulling product for shipping and storing product from Receiving, I was very glad to take an office job, but.........
At one time, we were thinking about getting I-Pods, but then I found out how much work it takes putting music into one...........no thanks!
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Old 10-04-2011, 07:03 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,193,442 times
Reputation: 22375
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
I remember going from working in a warehouse to working in an office........some weight did go on me! After years of the physical work of driving a forklift, pulling product for shipping and storing product from Receiving, I was very glad to take an office job, but.........
At one time, we were thinking about getting I-Pods, but then I found out how much work it takes putting music into one...........no thanks!
You need to re-examine that decision re: uploading music, LoveBoating - cause I think you would be pleasantly surprised. Nothing to it these days. I don't use my iPod anymore - just upload to and use my iPhone. Plus, I can then plug my iPhone into my car and listen to my own playlists thru/ the speakers.

You may find you really enjoy creating playlists these days!
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Old 10-04-2011, 07:12 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,193,442 times
Reputation: 22375
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
Sounds like my mother, who died six years ago at age 90. My sister gave her a VCR (remember those?) and showed her how to us it. But no dice, it was just too intimidating, so she never used it. When I would visit, my mother would often ask me to change the clock in her car to reflect standard time versus daylight savings time or vice versa, often months after that time change had taken place. She had two master's degrees (history and library science), so you would think she could read the owner's manual of her car and follow the simple instructions. But no way. These things will always remain a mystery, I think. Once people get it in their minds that something is beyond them, it just doesn't matter at all if it really is or not.

Once we were rushing to her bank to get there before closing time to transact some routine thing, such a depositing a check or getting cash. I pointed out that if she had an ATM card it wouldn't matter if we got there by closing time. No dice, this just made her angry and from a lifetime of experience with my mother I knew it was time for me to drop the subject. The idea of learning to use an ATM card was just too intimidating, but she wouldn't admit that and used some bogus excuse. Go figure.
I honestly do not know if my parents are using an ATM card. They may not be but I think they probably are (convenience when traveling, for one thing). Like your mom, my parents have college degrees; dad has an MA. They subscribe to several newspapers, many magazines, are avid book readers . . . and we have tried to show them how much money they could save on subscriptions alone and they are always interested . . . but they just don't seem to make the leap to using that computer! I would say we all have more or less given up, and it is sad . . . cause they love seeing our FB pages when we are together (and they can view stuff on our laptops and iPads).

I think they are somehow intimidated by the cost of a computer - and fear they will "ruin it" if they do something "wrong."

One evening, my son looked at his grandfather and said, "Now, Poppa, do NOT hit that button." My Dad look at him quizzically and said "Well, why." My son stopped, took a deep breath and said "You hit that button and the universe is gonna implode." My Dad, who has a wonderful sense of humor, jerked his hand away from the keyboard as if he had been slapped, lol. It took him a second to realize my son was joking.

That told me something . . . I really do think my Dad feels like that computer could blow up in his hands if not handled gingerly!
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Old 10-04-2011, 08:02 PM
 
Location: SoCal desert
8,093 posts, read 13,240,703 times
Reputation: 14870
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
My parents died 20 and 22 years ago. To the end, no computer and they still had rotary dial phones in the home (anyone remember those?) They were probably the last people to actually have a color TV as well and decidedly no microwave. Cell phones weren't out yet but if they had been, my parents wouldn't have owned one. Dinosaurs! I find it rather endearing.
I have one of those big black heavy monsters on my workbench out in the garage
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Old 10-04-2011, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,744,892 times
Reputation: 3716
Is automating someone in your life the best for them or for you? I have news for some of you concerning your parents. Ever consider that maybe they do not want to be available to you 24/7?

Ever consider that one thing being retired means is that one is not answerable to anyone any more?

A person that does not return messages is not a function of how/what method they got the message, but one of do they want to respond to the message? My auto phone answering response(s) is:

Hello, you have reached John. I am not available right now. Please leave a message, If the message of interest to me, then I will respond to it. If the message is not of interest to me, then I will not be responding. Bye and have a nice day.

Along the same lines:

Important people do not carry many keys as someone else is there to open things for them. Thus the more keys you carry, the less important you are...LOL
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Old 10-04-2011, 08:17 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,668 posts, read 74,655,684 times
Reputation: 48187
i know a few they suffer terrible isolation bek of it.
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Old 10-05-2011, 06:50 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,193,442 times
Reputation: 22375
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
i know a few they suffer terrible isolation bek of it.
That is too bad, Huck. The nature of getting older is basically one of making most of rather irrelevant to most of the rest of the world, lol. Isolating one's self further from those who DO care is sad.

We have noticed that my parents have lately mentioned FaceBook. We are thinking they are feeling left out - and they SHOULD feel left out. The grandkids post so much info and share photos w/ us, their parents, and we share family photos with each other and our friends. But my mom and dad are left out of the process. My dad received an honorary doctorate and we all took photos and shared them on FB - but my parents missed out on all that. THey are starting to ask about "that FB stuff" - and we hope they will decide spending some time feeling comfy with the computer is worth the trade-off to stay in touch.

THEY are the ones who complain about not being in close enough touch w/ the rest of us. Unlike what some others have mentioned, we are the ones who don't respond fast enuff to them, many times. It helps that they have a cell phone, but basically - we all prefer texting and using email than talking on the phone. My sister and I work, so daytime phone calls to/from my parents can be quite interruptive. They have become quite interested in how my sister and I stay in daily touch our kids - thru/ texts, AIM chat, FB, etc. We wish they would hook up so they wouldn't feel so left out.
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