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Old 10-27-2011, 08:36 AM
 
Location: delaware
688 posts, read 864,694 times
Reputation: 2367

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium View Post
There's a lot of truth here. My parents moved to a retirement community because it had lakes and pretty views. They loved it during the active part of their retirement, but in their last several years they grew to dislike the place (although they refused to leave because they did make some good friends, which was one good thing about the place). It didn't matter how pretty the scenery near the town was because they only left their apartment complex to go to the store and the hospital--and those drives became hard to do, so they weren't looking at the scenery, they just wanted to get to the store and home in one piece.

The big lessons I learned from watching them was:

1. Live near family or develop a network of close friends while your in the active stage of retirement. Know your next neighbors if possible, and make a few close friends with them.

2. Live near a good hospital. Having to drive almost an hour every day to visit my mom in the hospital was very hard on my dad. Medical care becomes much more important than scenery.

3. Have a grocery store/drug store nearby. My poor dad also had to drive several miles to get groceries, and that became a problem. I will never live in one of those humongo retirement communities where the stores are outside the community, several miles away.


i understand both points of view-staying near family, if indeed family can be a resource or moving to a retirement community, where you feel you'll enjoy the lifestyle and enviornment. however. the "retirement communities" described seem to be over 55 communities rather than CCRCs with an assisted living and nursing component built in, and i, personally, have never understood the appeal of these ;they are for independent living only, no personal services included, and most such moves require yet another move as a person becomes in need of more care.
i haven't had family for over 30 years, and after my husband ( my only real family for many years ) died i was entirely on my own. i subsequently met the significant other with whom i've had a relationship for 8+ years, and we have become family for each other. i live in the area where i am because of him, but do not expect this to be the last stop on the train. i will probably go into a rental retirement community ( assisted living and nursing care available ) in my late seventies. the SO will probably enter with me.

as a social worker who worked in geriatric social work, i had the opportunity to see many choices- some good, some horrible- that seniors made. i, personally, do not feel you can always depend on family or friends ( they age, they move, things change ), for that matter, and you need to make choices that will provide you with services that are dependable, flexible and can increase as needs change. i also feel, from observation and experience, that many true retirement communities- CCRCs or independent senior communities with a variety of services- become "family" or, at the very least, a solid community for residents who live there. that does not negate the importance of family in a person's life, but such a community, if it is a good fit, can provide consistency of care and a feeling of being part of a larger community, that might not be as possible elsewhere as a person becomes more infirm. i realize that these communities can be prohibitively expensive and such a lifestyle would not be everyone's choice of lifestyle. i will add that making such decisions as a part of a couple as opposed to a single person often results in very different choices. what works when you are a couple may not feel comfortable when you are alone.

i certainly do not think one size fits all, but feel that as we age it's important to think about the larger picture- possibly 10+ years down the road -when we make housing and location decisions.

catsy girl
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Old 10-27-2011, 11:16 AM
 
Location: SW US
2,218 posts, read 2,036,207 times
Reputation: 3824
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I'm wondering two things here>

1. How did your realtor (in another state) know what the people/community would be like for you specifically? Pardon me, but it sounds kind of "fantastic"!

2. How does one know that one's neighbors would not be adverse to one's politics, religion, and other leanings? What if a liberal landed unknowingly in an ultraconservative place, and vice versa, for example? Or one moves to a brand new location and finds that their neighbors are standoffish, despite what a realtor, etc. had predicted? That sort of thing.

When one moves to a totally new location, not knowing much about a particular place or its people, it seems like it's a big gamble. Especially if one is relocating alone, as many retirees do. Some single retirees "move back home to be near family," and experience the "you can't go home again" thing--in not relating to any of the folks back there, despite the fact that it is home. One can also "join" things, only to find out that the folks are not too tolerant of, or interested in, you. Just wonderin'.....

Actually, this can happen in a local move too. You could move into a neighborhood that turned out not to be compatible.

There is so much information on the Internet now. You can check how people in a particular area voted. You can find out if the kinds of activities you like to do are available in the new place. You can find out if organizations you belong to are active in the new place. You can join Email groups in particular areas. We are lucky to have so much available via the Internet. But it does take time to do the research.
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Old 10-27-2011, 11:47 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,487,261 times
Reputation: 29071
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cattknap View Post
I know people say you should rent for 6 months when moving to a new area, but that wouldn't have worked at all for us. When you know that you want to buy a retirement house and you have lived in a house for many years and have lots of furniture, etc., what do you do with a household for 6 months? Storage would be extremely expensive and it would be like moving twice - once when you make the big move and again 6 months later...no thanks.

Also, in order for me to feel comfortable and at home, I want the things about me that I am used to and familiar with. I want to be able to have family and friends visit and stay with us.

When we moved into our retirement house, I couldn't wait to nest - that is all part of adapting to a new place - apartment living - never - not even for 6 months.

Also, there are no apartments near where we live, so had we rented, it would have been in a different area - not the area where we bought our home - so you are basically putting your "real" retirment on hold for 6 months.
I'm with you. We spent years researching places, made our decision, came and bought within 72 hours and made the move, lock, stock and barrel 30 days later when we closed. The following day we were in. Not a great believer in half-way measures.

Our relatively modest home (1480 sq. ft.) is just right for the two of us, on the shore of a sizable lake and a mere 18 miles from "civilization." We're more than content and have wonderful neighbors. Sometimes a leap of faith is all it takes to land well.
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Old 10-27-2011, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,978,143 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Windwalker2 View Post
Actually, this can happen in a local move too. You could move into a neighborhood that turned out not to be compatible.

There is so much information on the Internet now. You can check how people in a particular area voted. You can find out if the kinds of activities you like to do are available in the new place. You can find out if organizations you belong to are active in the new place. You can join Email groups in particular areas. We are lucky to have so much available via the Internet. But it does take time to do the research.
I agree, it truly is amazing how much we have at our fingertips with the Internet. Years and years ago, when I was a kid, my parents had good friends (a couple) whose dream was to move from here to Seattle. Why Seattle I don't know--they knew no one there, and in those days (1950s) I'm not sure if it was the lifestyle place it is now. Anyway....how they got the info they needed, just by visiting a few times, I'll never know...but that's what folks did before the Internet...they got a notion about where they wanted to move, and did it without all kinds of in-depth research. You have to really wonder how folks made decisions before computers and Google....
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Old 10-28-2011, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,978,143 times
Reputation: 15649
For those who would like to compare the COL between particular states/cities, I just found this. I have absolutely no idea how accurate or even ballpark the info might be, but it's an interesting tool to try out.

Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitor sites is not allowed

Last edited by Yac; 11-08-2011 at 05:03 AM..
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Old 10-28-2011, 12:37 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,502 posts, read 62,182,463 times
Reputation: 32182
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
For those who would like to compare the COL between particular states/cities, I just found this...

Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitor sites is not allowed
Another good one (from BankRate):
Cost of Living comparison calculator

Last edited by Yac; 11-08-2011 at 05:02 AM..
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Old 10-28-2011, 12:48 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,487,261 times
Reputation: 29071
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
For those who would like to compare the COL between particular states/cities, I just found this. I have absolutely no idea how accurate or even ballpark the info might be, but it's an interesting tool to try out.
Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitor sites is not allowed
I wouldn't want to live in any of their top 10 cities. Oh, that's right. I don't!

Last edited by Yac; 11-08-2011 at 05:02 AM..
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Old 10-28-2011, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,978,143 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational View Post
Another good one (from BankRate):
Cost of Living comparison calculator
The thing with this one is that you cannot choose a specific city or town within a state--you have to choose from their list of just main cities. For those wanting a very specific comparison, not helpful, but thanks anyway.
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Old 10-28-2011, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Prospect, KY
5,288 posts, read 17,960,936 times
Reputation: 6544
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
The thing with this one is that you cannot choose a specific city or town within a state--you have to choose from their list of just main cities. For those wanting a very specific comparison, not helpful, but thanks anyway.
I agree - not a very valid comparison system.
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Old 10-28-2011, 01:19 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,502 posts, read 62,182,463 times
Reputation: 32182
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
The thing with this one is that you cannot choose a specific city or town within a state...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cattknap View Post
I agree - not a very valid comparison system.
Presumably you already have a sense of where your little town sits relative to the closest bigger area... extrapolate the rest

If you're genuinely expecting an apple to apple comparison? Good luck.
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