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Old 10-11-2011, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
11,119 posts, read 7,573,746 times
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Live your life for yourself, do what you want to do. My daughter lives in the same town as we do and we might see her every other month. Moving will be easy.
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Old 10-11-2011, 08:51 AM
 
37 posts, read 148,699 times
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Thank you all for your replys...

Wwanderer...my kids are pretty busy with their lives...we talk on the phone, but don't get to see them that often because of their schedules. No grandkids yet, but my husband would love to be involved with the grandkid(s)..if and when they may come.

NHartphotog....I'm sorry that because you cared for you Dad that things did not work out financially. With any luck, maybe the housing market will turn around enough for you to be able to sell your Dad's house and maybe even yours.

If I stayed in NY, I know my son will not move away because he is employed with the Town, and he has 10 years vested with them. I don't think my moving out of state would be a problem with them...the problem is with me! I was raised where my family was close to my parents and to my in-laws, and saw them all the time.

I guess this is a different time which calls for different decisions.

EM
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Old 10-11-2011, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Salisbury,NC
10,611 posts, read 4,425,506 times
Reputation: 4689
I know NY is expensive. Your feeling towards your Kids and grandkids are the most important as you state. I believe that I will follow my Kids around just to be closer to them and the grandkids. If you can afford to stay,stay and enjoy them as long as you can.
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Old 10-11-2011, 09:11 AM
 
8,088 posts, read 4,425,207 times
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My sympathy to you. But, from having read many of your posts (and not always agreed), I know too you will bounce back. Have faith and hope, and keep chugging. Life is longer then you realize, and second and even thrid acts are probable. If you keep your eyes forward. God bless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NHartphotog View Post
My parents never left their high-cost area in southern NH. They lived much more poorly than they could have in another location, because it costs so very much just to live here. Property taxes are insane, heating bills very expensive, hiring any sort of help is out of this world costly, and all utilities are very expensive. Once they retired, they could have moved out of this area to a place with much less employment, but they did not. Instead, they lived hand to mouth until my mom passed and my Dad needed assistance.

So I moved back to southern NH to take care of my elderly Dad. This happened right before the housing collapse, so we made the mistake of buying our own house, thinking we'd sell it when he passed on.

Three years later, my Dad passed on. The housing collapse was now total, and it was impossible to sell our house in Exeter, which we bought because we thought the school system would make it easy to sell. Unfortunately, all the school system did was make Exeter's tax rates so extreme (even for Rockingham County, the highest property-taxed county in the 2nd highest property-taxed state) that even the most liberal will avoid it.

Since my parents had been so poor, my Dad's house had over 50 years of deferred maintenance. I had the choice of letting the Town of Hampton take it for property taxes, or trying to renovate it in the hopes I could rent it. The rental agents assured me I would have no trouble renting it, so we decided to invest our life's savings and try to turn this property into at least a self-sufficient one. This past summer was the first it was available for renting, and since then it has not rented for a single day. Worse, after meeting with the CPA and realizing we had some bad misconceptions on rental tax deductions, we are not eligible for ANY tax deduction for all the money we sunk into the property.

So, long story short, my husband and I had been pretty financially successful, until we needed to come back her and take care of the last of my family. These last years pretty much wiped us out, and the future holds little hope of any improvement. I guess we'll be supporting two houses in one of the most costly areas in the nation, until we lose everything. We don't even get a tiny tax break for the situation that is bankrupting us.

Do NOT wipe out your children's potential financial stability by staying in an area of high cost of living. Get out ASAP, and they'll probably end up moving to the new, better area eventually anyway. It's not like these high-expense areas offer JOBS anymore to offset their devastating financial drains.
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Old 10-11-2011, 09:53 AM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,989,888 times
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This is a very individaul decision ;really.
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Old 10-11-2011, 11:34 AM
 
1,831 posts, read 2,140,227 times
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I would focus on the costs of the area and on yourselves and your needs. The truth is that is what your family really want you to do anyway.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,945,286 times
Reputation: 6717
Quote:
Originally Posted by oteyjoe View Post
Hi everyone,

My husband and I are about ready to take our next step towards retirement. We will be looking to move into a 55+ community. We live in Long Island, NY, and if we stay here to be close to our kids, the place we could afford will not offer us the active lifestyle we want.

However, if we move out of state, we get the lifestyle with a lower cost of living...but will not see our kids all that often.

I'd like to know if anyone has had to make this decision...and if there were any regrets.

Thanks so much,
EM
What kind of activities are you looking for? What kind of climate? And why a 55+ community?

FWIW - my entire immediate family left the NE in the late 60's - early 70's - and none of us has missed it. As for the child who has been working 10 years for the government - I think the times are changing for people in jobs like that in terms of things like retirement perks (because the governmental units are going broke). Don't think you can plan your life on what your kids may do 5-10-20 years down the road. Robyn
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:32 PM
 
37 posts, read 148,699 times
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I thought that if I moved out of state, I'm bound to meet more people my age (60) in a 55+ commmunity.

The activities I would like would be sports, fitness, fun activities. All the Florida 55+ communities offer so much, however, I think Florida would be too hot for me. On one of the Florida posts, they said it's been over 90 degrees since April...with no relief or "cold fronts" we get in NY during the summer months...I don't think I could take that weather.

My husband is not too fond of the Carolina's...the other areas we were considering were NJ or Delaware.

EM
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Old 10-13-2011, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,945,286 times
Reputation: 6717
We're in NE Florida near the ocean - and you can pretty much expect highs in the low 90's from about early May through mid/late-September. OTOH - if you do like outdoor activities - you can do them pretty much 52 weeks a year here. With some small exceptions - like when we have rain - or it's cool in the winter if you don't like cool (I know many people in/from the north who will golf when its 48 - but that's too cold for me).

I'd also look into cost of living - tax climate - etc. - etc. I don't know what your current lifestyle is - or what it costs you. But it's good to make comparisons. Note that many things in NE Florida are a heck of a lot cheaper than they are in south Florida (including things like Medigap coverage - even here - good plans cost > $150/month - in south Florida - they cost about 40% more). Robyn
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Old 10-13-2011, 05:55 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
28,526 posts, read 62,253,689 times
Reputation: 32222
Quote:
Originally Posted by oteyjoe View Post
...it's been over 90 degrees since April...
with no relief or "cold fronts" we get in NY during the summer months...
I don't think I could take that weather.
This is where the appeal of snow-birding comes into play.
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