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Old 12-10-2015, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,541 posts, read 17,525,434 times
Reputation: 27573

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One fact I think people often forget, especially when they relocate in retirement after living in the same general area for many years, is that they probably stayed in the area for a reason. If you've lived in NY, CT, MA, or some other rich, prestigious state for years and years, you probably don't hate it. You may not love it, but it's at least tolerable to you and the familiarity is probably something you like. A lot of these types of people then move south, then wonder why they can't get a bagel, the people are dumb, the health care sucks, "it's not the way we did it in...!" type of thing.

Last winter I visited Asheville, NC and met a retired couple from MA in a bar who really put down the culture of the natives, how much they hated the place, etc. I just wish they'd have pack their bags and go back where they came from.
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Old 12-10-2015, 08:21 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,463,318 times
Reputation: 29071
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
One fact I think people often forget, especially when they relocate in retirement after living in the same general area for many years, is that they probably stayed in the area for a reason. If you've lived in NY, CT, MA, or some other rich, prestigious state for years and years, you probably don't hate it. You may not love it, but it's at least tolerable to you and the familiarity is probably something you like. A lot of these types of people then move south, then wonder why they can't get a bagel, the people are dumb, the health care sucks, "it's not the way we did it in...!" type of thing.

Last winter I visited Asheville, NC and met a retired couple from MA in a bar who really put down the culture of the natives, how much they hated the place, etc. I just wish they'd have pack their bags and go back where they came from.
Some of us, like my wife and I, stayed until retirement because that's where our careers (same profession) were. I think that's the case for many.
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Old 12-10-2015, 09:41 PM
 
1,226 posts, read 1,258,081 times
Reputation: 4309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
One fact I think people often forget, especially when they relocate in retirement after living in the same general area for many years, is that they probably stayed in the area for a reason. If you've lived in NY, CT, MA, or some other rich, prestigious state for years and years, you probably don't hate it. You may not love it, but it's at least tolerable to you and the familiarity is probably something you like. A lot of these types of people then move south, then wonder why they can't get a bagel, the people are dumb, the health care sucks, "it's not the way we did it in...!" type of thing.

.
That's because you've never had to live 8 years without finding an eggplant parm sub.
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Old 12-11-2015, 05:31 AM
 
2,447 posts, read 2,096,740 times
Reputation: 3564
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoriNJ View Post
Reading this thread has been informative, and thank you to everyone willing to post their stories. Lately, my husband and I have been considering downsizing at retirement, but staying in the area. Since the winters are the #1 reason we don't want to stay (and taxes in NJ are the #2 reason), we have considered being snowbirds for the worst 3 months of the year and returning to this area for the rest of the year. When I say "this area", I don't necessarily mean exactly where we are in NJ right now. We are considering Delaware and parts of Pennsylvania as well. Reading these cautionary tales will make us even more cautious about making a big change at retirement.
This !
We have been exploring all of these ideas and even match you geographically.
Years ago I wanted to move really south. ( actually I still think I would like to). We are also in NJ, and have one daughter in Philly and one on west coast.
I am still working, (job is 5 minutes from home and while it's not perfect, cant beat the commute and having health insurance and an income.).
House is ridiculously large (5 plus bedrooms) . We are thinking we will sell the house within the next year, and depending .... will downsize in the area (which is still not cheap, but will certainly free us up from the home).....might buy might rent, but with the understanding that in another few years we will move from this immediate area (it's comfortable, but I have never loved it. If I work another few years it pays to stay in the area. If something happens with the job, good bye area. Clearly at 60 plus yrs old I am not going to find another similar job)...
Looking into Philly area and currently exploring northern Delaware and Pa areas nearby.....
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Old 12-11-2015, 10:36 AM
 
6,435 posts, read 3,065,752 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvvarkansas View Post
Could you go back "home" for a visit, maybe stay with some friends? You may find that "home" is not as great as you thought it was any more, and you can't wait to get back home!

Or, you may run across the perfect living situation for your retirement years and therefore find your answer to a way to go back. Either way is good, right?
.


This! I've never really regretted our retirement move from Long Island to Florida, but there were times early on where I was seriously homesick for LI or missing things there that aren't available here.


Then we went back for several months to put our house on the market. That totally cured me of any homesickness. Even though it was great to have a "real" bagel again and certain other foods or have a change of seasons (until the snow piled up ugh), or see old friends/family, I couldn't wait to get back to FL.


Its a little different since I am a native southerner, but even my husband who grew up on LI and views it as home couldn't wait to get back to FL.


Take a visit back home before you make a decision. It may surprise you.
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Old 12-13-2015, 12:35 AM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,960 posts, read 3,451,255 times
Reputation: 10475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
One fact I think people often forget, especially when they relocate in retirement after living in the same general area for many years, is that they probably stayed in the area for a reason. If you've lived in NY, CT, MA, or some other rich, prestigious state for years and years, you probably don't hate it. You may not love it, but it's at least tolerable to you and the familiarity is probably something you like. A lot of these types of people then move south, then wonder why they can't get a bagel, the people are dumb, the health care sucks, "it's not the way we did it in...!" type of thing.

Last winter I visited Asheville, NC and met a retired couple from MA in a bar who really put down the culture of the natives, how much they hated the place, etc. I just wish they'd have pack their bags and go back where they came from.
I know for myself that I thought I would love retiring to the place my mom grew up in & that I had spent many a wonderful summer in, but...it wasn't & is not my reality of today. I lived in the city for many years & the last few were fear filled. Mainly because of the economy & houses are being broken into on a regular basis. It became scary for me as a single older woman.

Yes, there were many things I did love about living there but not enough to keep me there.

I never have looked back & missed it. I assume if I did, I would move back. Hopefully that couple will.

I do miss good sushi & have to travel 70 miles to get it. Sigh.
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Old 12-13-2015, 07:40 AM
 
15 posts, read 17,899 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
One fact I think people often forget, especially when they relocate in retirement after living in the same general area for many years, is that they probably stayed in the area for a reason. If you've lived in NY, CT, MA, or some other rich, prestigious state for years and years, you probably don't hate it. You may not love it, but it's at least tolerable to you and the familiarity is probably something you like. A lot of these types of people then move south, then wonder why they can't get a bagel, the people are dumb, the health care sucks, "it's not the way we did it in...!" type of thing.

Last winter I visited Asheville, NC and met a retired couple from MA in a bar who really put down the culture of the natives, how much they hated the place, etc. I just wish they'd have pack their bags and go back where they came from.
Maybe they can not go back. With the prices of houses and the regulations of mortgages, they would be forced to rent in their old area. That is the case for us. Stuck here forever or until we hit the lottery
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Old 12-13-2015, 07:41 AM
 
15 posts, read 17,899 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayvenne View Post
This !
We have been exploring all of these ideas and even match you geographically.
Years ago I wanted to move really south. ( actually I still think I would like to). We are also in NJ, and have one daughter in Philly and one on west coast.
I am still working, (job is 5 minutes from home and while it's not perfect, cant beat the commute and having health insurance and an income.).
House is ridiculously large (5 plus bedrooms) . We are thinking we will sell the house within the next year, and depending .... will downsize in the area (which is still not cheap, but will certainly free us up from the home).....might buy might rent, but with the understanding that in another few years we will move from this immediate area (it's comfortable, but I have never loved it. If I work another few years it pays to stay in the area. If something happens with the job, good bye area. Clearly at 60 plus yrs old I am not going to find another similar job)...
Looking into Philly area and currently exploring northern Delaware and Pa areas nearby.....


Take your time. Do not do what we did. PA in Bucks County is a great place. I would give anything to be able to go back.
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Old 12-13-2015, 10:22 AM
 
11,963 posts, read 5,102,113 times
Reputation: 18693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
One fact I think people often forget, especially when they relocate in retirement after living in the same general area for many years, is that they probably stayed in the area for a reason. If you've lived in NY, CT, MA, or some other rich, prestigious state for years and years, you probably don't hate it. You may not love it, but it's at least tolerable to you and the familiarity is probably something you like. A lot of these types of people then move south, then wonder why they can't get a bagel, the people are dumb, the health care sucks, "it's not the way we did it in...!" type of thing.

Last winter I visited Asheville, NC and met a retired couple from MA in a bar who really put down the culture of the natives, how much they hated the place, etc. I just wish they'd have pack their bags and go back where they came from.
I won't be one of those. I really do not like where I live but I live here because that's where my job is and that's what I can afford right now. I can't wait to move to a smaller town, different culture and life style.
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Old 12-13-2015, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,541 posts, read 17,525,434 times
Reputation: 27573
Quote:
Originally Posted by marino760 View Post
I won't be one of those. I really do not like where I live but I live here because that's where my job is and that's what I can afford right now. I can't wait to move to a smaller town, different culture and life style.
Basically, if you hate it that bad, pay down your current debts with your current salary then relocate for less. What people are saying is the money is more important than their personal happiness. That's fine, but people just need to acknowledge and accept that answer if it is reality.
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