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Old 12-19-2015, 11:39 AM
 
1,076 posts, read 1,119,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverBird View Post
Shot of whiskey under the tongue does wonders.
I hope you are kidding because giving your dog liquor is very unhealthy for your dog.
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Old 12-19-2015, 05:31 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,514,657 times
Reputation: 29081
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
My fault. I objected to people using the phrase "happy pills" when depressed in relocation. I cannot seem to pass up the need to educate people about depression. Shall keep a closer eye on it.
Don't blame you. It is indeed a serious problem (my wife is bipolar 2) and would very likely afflict those situationally who make really bad choices in retirement. Certainly nothing to be taken lightly.
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Old 12-19-2015, 06:13 PM
 
2,421 posts, read 3,728,573 times
Reputation: 3455
I am sorry. I thought I made it clear in my post that consulting a doctor about depression and being prescribed some anti-depressants, which I happen to affectionately refer to as happy pills myself when I have taken them. If I did not recognize the helpfulness of such medication, and believe in their worth, I would not have brought it up.

The pills obviously do not make your problems go away and make you feel all giddy inside. They just give you a clearer mind in what you must do to try to remedy the situation and the strength to make it happen.

There have been times in my life when I experienced some really rough patches, and having such medication available to help you through it, can be a god send. Most people I feel who discover something that is helpful to them, like to share their knowledge with others in hopes of helping them.
This was my intention.

I personally do not consider it a stigma, and people who do not realize it is a chemical imbalance that can effect all of us from time to time, are just not educated enough on the subject.

Sometimes, I have to say though, that all of this "political correctness' that we seem to be jumping on people for, for every expression or perhaps "incorrect' word chosen is getting a bit much. I personally don't think anyone who has taken antidepressants from time to time objects with the expression "happy pills'. After all a little humor is also good for the soul.

Last edited by modhatter; 12-19-2015 at 06:54 PM..
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Old 12-19-2015, 07:36 PM
 
3,455 posts, read 2,336,523 times
Reputation: 7004
SE Regret, if you are that unhappy and you are waking up at 3 AM every day, unable to get back to sleep, you need to at least seriously think about whether there is any possible way you could return to PA. I know it is a huge financial hit we are talking about, but you sound like you are suffering so. I question if it is worth it to stay. Can you and your husband sit down with paper and pencil (or Excel) and run the numbers to see if there is any way possible out of your dilemma? What would you have to sacrifice to leave SC and return to PA? I am not saying you should definitely leave, but you sound so unhappy, you owe it to yourself to explore all of your options before you resign yourself to not being able to return to PA. I wish you all the best.
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Old 12-19-2015, 07:55 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,737 posts, read 2,556,709 times
Reputation: 9231
Could we please get back on topic?

Here is the original post in this thread:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
I known that many of us have relocated since retiring and many are contemplating doing so with some truly longing to do so. Others have been forced or may be forced to relocate due to the economy.

I though it might be helpful for those thinking about or needing to move to hear from people who have made such a move and now regret it. What were your mistakes in selecting a new location? What problems have you had to confront? If any, what's your remedy?

Before anyone asks, we moved 2,000 miles and haven't regretted it for an instant.
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Old 12-23-2015, 06:41 AM
 
15 posts, read 17,921 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoriNJ View Post
SE Regret, if you are that unhappy and you are waking up at 3 AM every day, unable to get back to sleep, you need to at least seriously think about whether there is any possible way you could return to PA. I know it is a huge financial hit we are talking about, but you sound like you are suffering so. I question if it is worth it to stay. Can you and your husband sit down with paper and pencil (or Excel) and run the numbers to see if there is any way possible out of your dilemma? What would you have to sacrifice to leave SC and return to PA? I am not saying you should definitely leave, but you sound so unhappy, you owe it to yourself to explore all of your options before you resign yourself to not being able to return to PA. I wish you all the best.


Thank you, thank you all for your help. I am really at wits end and Christmas does not help. For the first time in my life, I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been through issues before and always knew they would change or improve. This time, it's the end. I am so unhappy and can not wait for the Christmas season to be over.
I though about taking a trip back to PA, especially now, with the cold and snow, But the weather is "nicer" in PA and I am concern that I would not return, causing more issues in my life.
I wish and pray that we can go back one year and start over. I would not leave PA. If your thinking about moving, remember to think many times and then wait. I can not believe I have done this to myself.
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Old 12-23-2015, 07:47 AM
 
14 posts, read 46,217 times
Reputation: 54
Life is to short not to be satisfied with where you live. Take a short vacation to PA after the first of the year in hopes of helping you both decide. In the meanwhile enjoy the holiday's with your family, your never promised tomorrow.
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Old 12-23-2015, 08:34 AM
 
Location: Arizona
5,967 posts, read 5,317,347 times
Reputation: 18042
Quote:
Originally Posted by Southeast regret View Post
Thank you, thank you all for your help. I am really at wits end and Christmas does not help. For the first time in my life, I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been through issues before and always knew they would change or improve. This time, it's the end. I am so unhappy and can not wait for the Christmas season to be over.
I though about taking a trip back to PA, especially now, with the cold and snow, But the weather is "nicer" in PA and I am concern that I would not return, causing more issues in my life.
I wish and pray that we can go back one year and start over. I would not leave PA. If your thinking about moving, remember to think many times and then wait. I can not believe I have done this to myself.
In a few posts you seem to be coming off as feeling you are better than the people you live near saying things like "prestigious state." I hope you are not saying things insulting to the area to the locals. You should lose the word "culture" too. It can be taken the wrong way.

I think you may be remembering things a little different than they actually are. There is a reason people say you can't go home again. If it was the way you think it was I don't think you would have been so quick to move.

You are in a place now and no matter what happens there it will never be good enough. You will always compare it to your former home or how you remember your former home.

So you move back. Then what? You may regret that decision too. Then you will be away from your family and still be unhappy.

Go out. Do things. Quit thinking. Meet more people. Make the most of what you have.
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Old 12-23-2015, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,686 posts, read 3,256,586 times
Reputation: 12012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Southeast regret View Post
Thank you, thank you all for your help. I am really at wits end and Christmas does not help. For the first time in my life, I do not see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been through issues before and always knew they would change or improve. This time, it's the end. I am so unhappy and can not wait for the Christmas season to be over.
I though about taking a trip back to PA, especially now, with the cold and snow, But the weather is "nicer" in PA and I am concern that I would not return, causing more issues in my life.
I wish and pray that we can go back one year and start over. I would not leave PA. If your thinking about moving, remember to think many times and then wait. I can not believe I have done this to myself.
If there is one thing I know, you will get a ton of suggestions here on the thread. As a person who made a bad move and returned home after 13 months, I know what you are going through. Been there, done that. Sure not fun. And if there is a shortage on money, it just makes it worse. Not everyone understands this. But I know you do. It's your life being talked about here, how you are struggling with it, and wondering what to do.

I am not going to try to tell you what to do. You will figure that out on your own. But I can tell you what I did, and while it has not been an easy ride, I am happy. And I think that is what you are hoping for.

I was stuck with a year's lease on an apartment. The job I went down for did not materialize. My son that I hoped to live closer to (100 miles instead of 1500 miles) got mad and did not want to see me. Long story, not important now. As soon as I was able, I started making plans to move back. A woman "friend" suggested us getting a bigger apartment in central NY and live together for about a year (length of lease). I moved back. Big mistake living with her, but it was something I got through because I knew it was not permanent. There have been some ups and downs, some wins, some losses. But today I am one happy person. Yes, still have some financial problems but I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train!!

Try to relax. When you are knotted up over your situation you cannot think clearly. Can you find a professional to talk things out with, get some good advice/ideas of how to get your situation resolved?

Hang in there. You are not the first and won't be the last to make a move that did not work out. But I can guarantee you that your education has expanded. Now you know things you did not know before.

Old saying, but tried and so true..... one day at a time. You can do it.
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Old 12-23-2015, 08:30 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,214 posts, read 1,354,565 times
Reputation: 6392
Quote:
Originally Posted by modhatter View Post
Sometimes, I have to say though, that all of this "political correctness' that we seem to be jumping on people for, for every expression or perhaps "incorrect' word chosen is getting a bit much. I personally don't think anyone who has taken antidepressants from time to time objects with the expression "happy pills'. After all a little humor is also good for the soul.
I agree. Sometimes I want to scream: Lighten up people!!!!!
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