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I believe your situation is an illustration of the fact that some people are tied deeply to a location, even though they would be hard-pressed to explain why. Other people, who are more nomadic in nature, have a hard time understanding that. But I have heard enough stories to believe you absolutely. I am a little that way myself, having gotten the wanderlust out of my system while younger (Europe, etc.), I now feel like Southern California is my home, even though I didn't first set foot in the place until age 14.
Although one can always cite things one likes about that place to which one is tied so strongly, there is something which passes all understanding, something deep and inexplicable which goes beyond specific features of climate, etc. It seems to me that is true in your case.
You are completely right. I can not pin-point or explain why I want to go back, but I do. This has so both surprised. We have a very strong connection there. I do not want to go back to our house, just the area.
At this time, the move was a mistake. We admit that. Now what to do? comments have been good and the last thing I want to do is make another mistake. Moving back just eats into our nest egg.
At this time, the move was a mistake. We admit that. Now what to do? comments have been good and the last thing I want to do is make another mistake. Moving back just eats into our nest egg.
I would ask myself - are the health implications of staying worth keeping your nest egg level where it's at?
It's been a little over three years since I moved to the South for a job (which I've had for 25 yrs) relocation. Someone asked me yesterday did I like it in TN. "No" emphatically and immediately came out of my mouth without hesitation. But I'm here 5 more years and then I'll be gone back west somewhere.
I would ask myself - are the health implications of staying worth keeping your nest egg level where it's at?
It's been a little over three years since I moved to the South for a job (which I've had for 25 yrs) relocation. Someone asked me yesterday did I like it in TN. "No" emphatically and immediately came out of my mouth without hesitation. But I'm here 5 more years and then I'll be gone back west somewhere.
Good luck in your decision.
Good point about your health vs nest egg. If you loss your health, or worst, the nest egg is unimportant.
Look at it this way, maybe where you are now is a testing ground and a stepping stone to where you really and truly want to end up. If you have a high-end house now, maybe the opportunity is to move back to Philly and either rent or buy a much smaller more manageable home for older age. Most likely your daughters will always welcome you for extended visits, and those may be the very best kinds rather than having to live so close.
You have a good point, a testing ground / stepping stone. We did down size in our new location. And for visits, I know we can have a nice extended stay. Perhaps we should have downsized and stayed in PA. But that is water under the bridge.
I had seriously thought of relocating to NC, but when I started thinking realistically, it would not have been a good move for me.
So I'm staying here where I am. I'm starting to notice the comfort I feel about that. I know where everything is, no packing/unpacking, recovering after a strenuous move and re-settling everything.
Nope, I'm just fine here. If I want to experience something different, that's what "vacations" are for. IMHO.
I had seriously thought of relocating to NC, but when I started thinking realistically, it would not have been a good move for me.
So I'm staying here where I am. I'm starting to notice the comfort I feel about that. I know where everything is, no packing/unpacking, recovering after a strenuous move and re-settling everything.
Nope, I'm just fine here. If I want to experience something different, that's what "vacations" are for. IMHO.
Smart, very smart. Please listen to my story and stay put.
You are completely right. I can not pin-point or explain why I want to go back, but I do. This has so both surprised. We have a very strong connection there. I do not want to go back to our house, just the area.
At this time, the move was a mistake. We admit that. Now what to do? comments have been good and the last thing I want to do is make another mistake. Moving back just eats into our nest egg.
Not to pry, but I would just be curious to hear some examples of the things that are making you so unhappy in SC -- things that are so different from the pleasant time you spent there last year. I know you said the "culture", but it would be helpful to understand specifically what you mean...if you can share.
So many people on here just look at things like climate, cost-of-living, etc., without really understanding there can be massive cultural differences when you move across the country....and sometimes you don't know that until you've uprooted yourself and made the move.
At this time, the move was a mistake. We admit that. Now what to do? comments have been good and the last thing I want to do is make another mistake. Moving back just eats into our nest egg.
Since it does not appear that the northeast winter weather is a concern of yours, and with that in mind it may be possible to be a reversed snowbird which may in the long run be a better overall option for you. You could rent your SC home out during the fall and winter, return to Philly during that time renting a small place or staying at an Extended Stay hotel then return back to SC in the spring and summer months. You may even have friends in Philly who would love to have a home swap arrangement with you which would give them an opportunity to get out of the cold northeast in the winter, and this would give both parties peace of mind knowing that a reliable friend will be staying in their home and respecting the property.
I lived in NJ my whole life and moved to Raleigh, NC for retirement and love it. However I also think its a huge adjustment and that's why I purposely picked a city not coastal or mountains. I would have loved to live in NW NC but for me I was young retiree and felt I could VRBO for a while then if I love it , buy a small cabin for the Summer months and go back and forth and have it all city and mountains. Its a hard move, it mentally at times made me feel very off but I am adjusting to it so much easier then if I picked a vacation/resort area. The coastal areas and mountains were just not enough considering I was from NJ , and it would be too much of a shock.
I also think its what you make of it. You need a positive attitude, get yourself out there. I did not have a lot in NJ, and I hated it too so that also helped it make it easier. I hated NYC, did not use it and had no real bonds in NJ. I think if you have a life in your old State, or where you living now it would be much harder. I had no life in NJ. I am so much happier here and making bonds for the first time!!
Not to pry, but I would just be curious to hear some examples of the things that are making you so unhappy in SC -- things that are so different from the pleasant time you spent there last year. I know you said the "culture", but it would be helpful to understand specifically what you mean...if you can share.
So many people on here just look at things like climate, cost-of-living, etc., without really understanding there can be massive cultural differences when you move across the country....and sometimes you don't know that until you've uprooted yourself and made the move.
As this becomes life and not a vacation, reality sets in. The culture is different than Philly. Restaurants as an example. There are many of them, but they always "tweak" the food, usually adding pepers, or spices that change the taste. We have found some 'northern food" restaraunts, but the vast majority is hot spicy food.
The people are all nice and friendly, but there is no sense of urgency. Contractors give you a window of plus 2 weeks. We'll be over soon. Having work completed is a challenge.
In PA, we could be in rolling country side immediately, here you really can not go more than the town. It is an impoverish area outside of where we live. Oh we have beautiful weather and wonderful beaches, but that does get old. Sandy, pine trees, etc.
We have been here on vacation in the summer, but living here is different. Hot and buggy.
Perhaps it is not all culture but the area. Nice place to visit, but not really nice to live here.
With that in mind, we look around and see so many people in our places and they are all happy. Why not us?
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