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Old 11-07-2011, 06:36 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,205,825 times
Reputation: 22375

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ipoetry View Post
Wow! Ageist here! She's still in the game. Maybe she's not in your game but she's hardly benched at age 60.
Sounds like some folks think that 60 is the new 80, lol.

Just goes to show that there is an attitude out there that people become increasingly irrelevant and disposable as they age.

<I hope no one tells my clients or my spouse that I am no longer "in the game," lol.>
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Old 11-07-2011, 07:28 AM
 
10,139 posts, read 23,313,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ol' Wanderer View Post





My sister does not care if no one cares. She cares, and that's enough.

At this point in her life, she is the only person she needs to please. She was married for 40 years during which she and her husband raised 6 children, saw all 6 graduated from universities, and had them all married. She worked full time (sometimes two jobs) for 25 of those 40 years to help support the family, then nursed her husband through a stroke, and buried him a few years later. Now she is free to enjoy her life as a woman, not an old lady.

What made you say, "She is not in the game anyway"? Is "the game" an insinuation about the physical aspect of her relationship with other people? If so, you should be ashamed of yourself for degrading someone whom you have never met, about whom you know nothing, and who has never done one wrong act toward you.

Do you know my sister personally? Had she told you something she didn't tell me, that's why you said, "The only satisfaction she gets is looking better than her younger sibling."?

Well, you know what, my sister and I do not live in the same state. In fact, there are 2700 miles between us. We do not appear in public together, we do not have family reunions to sit next to one another for comparison. We do not go shopping together. Her taste runs toward gowns and pashmina shawls; mine is classic black trousers and white long sleeve shirts.

She is a published author; I am a traveller. She has her photos on the back cover of her books; I have my photos in my external hard drive.

She has book signings and local TV appearances; I take pleasure in walking daily with my husband while wearing shorts and tank tops.

We have nothing to compete against each other. In fact, for many years in my life, she acted in the role of my mother, and since she became a widow and I, "an old lady", we always have each other's back. There is no competition between us, sorry.


Your attack on my sister is bizarre. I have no idea reading about a stranger's cosmetic surgery could upset you that much. Have you some negative experience or trauma that caused you to lash out on a very civil discussion on a social media?

I am not remotely upset about your sister or anything else. I enjoy my age and I enjoy the natural aging of those men and women around me regardless of their age. Persons who cannot accept themselves as they are (with only the modification of disturbing anomalies) deserve pity. Their insecurity and vanity is not a good thing to brag about or encourage. You would do your sister a great service by telling her that her good character and her lifetime of experience is reflected in her aging body, and changing her appearance to disguise herself as someone she is not is a bad mistake.
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Old 11-07-2011, 08:02 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,205,825 times
Reputation: 22375
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilson513 View Post
I am not remotely upset about your sister or anything else. I enjoy my age and I enjoy the natural aging of those men and women around me regardless of their age. Persons who cannot accept themselves as they are (with only the modification of disturbing anomalies) deserve pity. Their insecurity and vanity is not a good thing to brag about or encourage. You would do your sister a great service by telling her that her good character and her lifetime of experience is reflected in her aging body, and changing her appearance to disguise herself as someone she is not is a bad mistake.
Not everyone would agree with your sentiment.

There are many commonly accepted practices that I suppose could be considered "disguising one's age" but in reality, are simply what a person chooses to do to feel good about his/her appearance.

For example:

Hair Color
Wigs/Hair Pieces
Hair transplants/augmentation
Teeth - crowns, veneers, dentures
Skin resurfacing/re-texturing
Vein treatment (face/legs)
Tooth whitening/brightening

And I would add: laser eye surgery (Lasik) - since the goal is typically to remove the need to wear eyeglasses

It wasn't that long ago that my nearly-82 y/o mother said anyone who used hair color was a common hussy, lol.

Foregoing "enhancements" to one's looks is not entree into a special society of folks who have somehow adhered to a higher moral plane or who are somehow more "authentic."

If sagging boobs/chins/ear lobes, grey hair, wrinkles, greyed/yellowed teeth, thinning hair, spider veins, eyeglasses, etc. don't bother a person . . . good for them! I don't judge a person as being less caring about themselves b/c they have chosen not to fight the effects of aging. But likewise, when someone has chosen to address those things that make him/herself feel ragged and worn out . . . it really is no one else's business - and it doesn't make that person any less genuinely him/herself, either.
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Old 11-07-2011, 08:59 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,868,103 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Not everyone would agree with your sentiment.

There are many commonly accepted practices that I suppose could be considered "disguising one's age" but in reality, are simply what a person chooses to do to feel good about his/her appearance.

For example:

Hair Color
Wigs/Hair Pieces
Hair transplants/augmentation
Teeth - crowns, veneers, dentures
Skin resurfacing/re-texturing
Vein treatment (face/legs)
Tooth whitening/brightening

And I would add: laser eye surgery (Lasik) - since the goal is typically to remove the need to wear eyeglasses

It wasn't that long ago that my nearly-82 y/o mother said anyone who used hair color was a common hussy, lol.

Foregoing "enhancements" to one's looks is not entree into a special society of folks who have somehow adhered to a higher moral plane or who are somehow more "authentic."

If sagging boobs/chins/ear lobes, grey hair, wrinkles, greyed/yellowed teeth, thinning hair, spider veins, eyeglasses, etc. don't bother a person . . . good for them! I don't judge a person as being less caring about themselves b/c they have chosen not to fight the effects of aging. But likewise, when someone has chosen to address those things that make him/herself feel ragged and worn out . . . it really is no one else's business - and it doesn't make that person any less genuinely him/herself, either.

It is the denial of aging and death that affects society, negatively. It is not just a matter of individual preference. These choices have huge repercussions and inform society as a whole, and not in good ways . . .
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Old 11-07-2011, 09:46 AM
 
10,139 posts, read 23,313,169 times
Reputation: 8290
I am always surprised at the importance one puts on whether others think they look a few years younger than their chronological age. It is a dysfunctional behavior so prevalent and widespread that people can say it out loud without a twinge of embarrassment or self consciousness.

I suppose that it stems from the fact that people who are happy and live healthy honest lives tend to look younger, whereas people who fill their lives with drama, hate, worry and resentment and abuse the body with substances and bad lifestyle tend to look old beyond their years.

I am not saying that every person who looks old with furrowed brow, worry lines and down turned mouth etc. have lead bad lives or are bad persons and vice versa, but the desire to look younger is a desire to pretend that one has had a healthy happy life. My suggestion is to actually live a happy and healthy life and you won't need to have the surgeons cut on you to make you look like you did.
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Old 11-07-2011, 10:18 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,205,825 times
Reputation: 22375
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post

It is the denial of aging and death that affects society, negatively. It is not just a matter of individual preference. These choices have huge repercussions and inform society as a whole, and not in good ways . . .
So one must necessarily be soul-less and shallow if one looks good? LOL

From a social anthropology point of view, the deterioriation of the nuclear family would have more to do with distancing one from the realities of aging and no longer holding elders in esteem . . . than an interest in looking good or "remaining energetic and vital."

Although we do have a "youth based" culture - what culture hasn't revered the young and strong? Sure, shamans and elders (wisdom, prescience, experience) have been revered in other cultures . . . but not to the exclusion of the young (warrior, vigor, action).

It doesn't have to be an either-or proposition.

We are all out here living our lives the best we can. . . if it works for someone to have some nip and tuck and they can afford to do so - the risk is entirely theirs . . . but it seems when it goes well - the benefits (on both a physical and emotional level) anger a portion of society who seem to think there is something reverent about aging sans enhancement.

Aging sucks. Few people slip gracefully into their 80s. Besides disease, there is simply the loss of energy, the common ailments such as arthritis wh/ nearly everyone must deal with and the body's slow-down.

If some people wish to look the best they can while ticking off the years, it isn't causing some huge repercussion in society nor is it reflective of some denial about death.

The emphasis on youth and beauty has been around since man first penned a poem (or scratched some picture of his beloved in a cave).

ETA: Anything done in excess is a bad idea . . . "all things in moderation." Folks who would use cosmetic surgery as a talisman in hopes of warding off the inevitable (death) have much bigger issues than their decision to have a facelift. But their "issues" are, nevertheles, individual - not societal . . . and usually stem from mental illness, wh/ has probably manifested itself long b/f an appointment w/ a surgeon.

Last edited by brokensky; 11-07-2011 at 10:31 AM..
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Old 11-07-2011, 10:36 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,205,825 times
Reputation: 22375
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilson513 View Post
I am always surprised at the importance one puts on whether others think they look a few years younger than their chronological age. It is a dysfunctional behavior so prevalent and widespread that people can say it out loud without a twinge of embarrassment or self consciousness.

I suppose that it stems from the fact that people who are happy and live healthy honest lives tend to look younger, whereas people who fill their lives with drama, hate, worry and resentment and abuse the body with substances and bad lifestyle tend to look old beyond their years.

I am not saying that every person who looks old with furrowed brow, worry lines and down turned mouth etc. have lead bad lives or are bad persons and vice versa, but the desire to look younger is a desire to pretend that one has had a healthy happy life. My suggestion is to actually live a happy and healthy life and you won't need to have the surgeons cut on you to make you look like you did.
In your opinion.

Many people have lived very healthy happy lives and inherited that tendency to a furrowed brow or bad teeth . . . and they feel a great sense of relief "fixing" something they felt they didn't earn.
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Old 11-07-2011, 10:42 AM
 
10,139 posts, read 23,313,169 times
Reputation: 8290
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
In your opinion.

Many people have lived very healthy happy lives and inherited that tendency to a furrowed brow or bad teeth . . . and they feel a great sense of relief "fixing" something they felt they didn't earn.
And, are you giving something other than "your opinion"?

And, I am not sure how "bad teeth" got into this discussion.
I suppose it is a red herring you are running up to distract the discussion.

Fact is that one can tell a lot about how a person has lived their life by looking at their face. Anyone who doesn't not know this is in denial. It is not always a persons fault, but frowning anger stress and hardship take their toll over a lifetime. People who accept their situation, make the best of it regardless, look on the bright side of things, laugh easily, refrain from anger and resentment, don't need plastic surgery. Simple answer, live your life as though you enjoy it and act as if you do even if it is hard. All that angst and anger doesn't change anything, just makes you ugly when you get old.
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Old 11-07-2011, 11:07 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,868,103 times
Reputation: 8956
In the end, plastic surgery is just dishonest.
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Old 11-07-2011, 11:28 AM
 
4,349 posts, read 6,064,802 times
Reputation: 10458
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
In the end, plastic surgery is just dishonest.
Tell that to the woman who had a mastectomy or to the soldier who had part of his face blown off. Tell it to the baby born with a cleft lip or palate. PS is not for me and it might not be for you but it's hardly dishonest.
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