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Old 11-02-2011, 06:51 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,847 posts, read 30,373,205 times
Reputation: 22356

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Know anyone like this who simply says "He** no!" about meeting someone?

We know some single ladies in their late 50's thru 60's that have absolutely no interest in meeting a man......our neighbor being one of them. Wife and I have noticed that she would be home on Friday and Saturday nights with her lights/tv on and we would look at each other and say "wow, that sure wasn't us before we met!" We weren't hard "partiers" before we met, but we sure didn't sit around at home and watch tv on weekend nights! We've talked to her and found out that she was married some 20 yrs ago and lived with a dude for awhile after her divorce. Once, on a Sunday, I seen her on her patio smoking a cigarette, while I was BBQing outside, and I asked her "so what you been up to this weekend" and she said "nothing". I looked at her, kiddingly, and said "lady, you need to get a life!". She smiled and said, "I'm thinking about it". She knows I have a curious mind about me.

Anyway, sometimes I just think everyone should have someone.......like I do. But, then again, some simply enjoy being alone, like my wife's brother (late 50's/never been married) and these ladies!


For all the years that I was divorced (21 of them), I never once thought this way. When I was married the first time, I was "tickled pink"! During all those years I was divorced, I was very (ok, extremely) "relationship/marriage minded" and was always looking for that. In other words, I HATED being single! I got very, very lucky when I met my wife, because she was just as "relationship/marriage" minded as I was. In fact, I'd had a real problem with relationships before her because I was so "smothering/clingy"! Again, I got very lucky as she was the exact same way........loved being with me as much as possible.
There are an awful lot of women out there who only get married for one reason and that is to have children. My personal experience is that when a womans child bearing years are over and done, and they have their kids, they are perfectly content to have lady friends (and not in a sexual/lesbian way), or be alone. I would estimate that 90 percent of the women out there are happy to have their children, their grandchildren and couldn't care less if there is a man in their life.

For most women men are more trouble than they are worth, and once they have served their role as father and provider, they aren't worth much.

20yrsinBranson
does not feel this way, just sayin'

 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
There are an awful lot of women out there who only get married for one reason and that is to have children. My personal experience is that when a womans child bearing years are over and done, and they have their kids, they are perfectly content to have lady friends (and not in a sexual/lesbian way), or be alone. I would estimate that 90 percent of the women out there are happy to have their children, their grandchildren and couldn't care less if there is a man in their life.

For most women men are more trouble than they are worth, and once they have served their role as father and provider, they aren't worth much.

20yrsinBranson
does not feel this way, just sayin'
I have known a few women like this. It is kind of sad. But then I have also known some men who married mostly because they wanted "mothers;" someone to take care of them. So I guess it can go both ways.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:43 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
Reputation: 29076
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
There are an awful lot of women out there who only get married for one reason and that is to have children. My personal experience is that when a womans child bearing years are over and done, and they have their kids, they are perfectly content to have lady friends (and not in a sexual/lesbian way), or be alone. I would estimate that 90 percent of the women out there are happy to have their children, their grandchildren and couldn't care less if there is a man in their life.

For most women men are more trouble than they are worth, and once they have served their role as father and provider, they aren't worth much.

20yrsinBranson
does not feel this way, just sayin'
So you're sayin' that most women are opportunistic users then?
 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:53 PM
 
4,484 posts, read 4,746,514 times
Reputation: 9941
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
So you're sayin' that most women are opportunistic users then?

Oh, good grief
 
Old 11-02-2011, 08:35 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,497,588 times
Reputation: 29076
Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
Oh, good grief
And just how would you interpret the following [emphasis added]?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
For most women men are more trouble than they are worth, and once they have served their role as father and provider, they aren't worth much.
It's a bit blunt to simply chalk-up to stinkin' thinkin'.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,747,361 times
Reputation: 32309
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
There are an awful lot of women out there who only get married for one reason and that is to have children. My personal experience is that when a womans child bearing years are over and done, and they have their kids, they are perfectly content to have lady friends (and not in a sexual/lesbian way), or be alone. I would estimate that 90 percent of the women out there are happy to have their children, their grandchildren and couldn't care less if there is a man in their life.

For most women men are more trouble than they are worth, and once they have served their role as father and provider, they aren't worth much.
20yrsinBranson
does not feel this way, just sayin'
I'm sure it will come as no surprise that we males will take umbrage at your sexist remarks. I imagine that some females might take umbrage at them also because they will be thinking of some loving father, grandfather, or uncle who continued to support his wife and care for her as both of them aged, and who continued their loving concern for other relatives as well. While it is obvious that some people of both genders "aren't worth much", would you care to make a case for your proposition that males are more likely to fall into that category?
 
Old 11-02-2011, 09:33 PM
 
9,200 posts, read 9,280,929 times
Reputation: 28823
Quote:
There are an awful lot of women out there who only get married for one reason and that is to have children. My personal experience is that when a womans child bearing years are over and done, and they have their kids, they are perfectly content to have lady friends (and not in a sexual/lesbian way), or be alone. I would estimate that 90 percent of the women out there are happy to have their children, their grandchildren and couldn't care less if there is a man in their life.

For most women men are more trouble than they are worth, and once they have served their role as father and provider, they aren't worth much.

20yrsinBranson
does not feel this way, just sayin'
I'm sure there are both women and men who feel this way about the opposite sex. It speaks volumes about them.

I will not attempt to speak for everyone. However, both DW and I never seriously considered not getting married and having a family. Different people have different values. However, the whole notion of thinking that an entire sex has no value is both a frightening and appalling one to me. We are raising two children (both a son and a daughter). One core value we have taught our children is that all people are valuable and are worthy of our respect (at least until they prove they aren't).

I actually would hope that if I did die that DW would remarry and would avail herself of the joys and comforts of marriage. She wishes the same for me if something were to happen to her. As we get older, we have slowly come to realize what marriage is about. Its not really about sex. Its not about social appearance. Its about having someone present in your life who offers you social, psychological, and sometimes monetary support.

I think its one thing to make a choice that you don't desire to get married. My sister made such a choice and instead chose to focus on education and career. Its another thing entirely though to believe that an entire sex or 50% of the population has no value and to only consider marriage for the sake of having children.

How sad there are those who think this way.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 11:27 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
21,541 posts, read 44,039,638 times
Reputation: 15150
Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
Honestly, I think this thread is meant to just stir the pot.
Absolutely. LB needed a bit of amusement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
There are an awful lot of women out there who only get married for one reason and that is to have children. My personal experience is that when a womans child bearing years are over and done, and they have their kids, they are perfectly content to have lady friends (and not in a sexual/lesbian way), or be alone. I would estimate that 90 percent of the women out there are happy to have their children, their grandchildren and couldn't care less if there is a man in their life.

For most women men are more trouble than they are worth, and once they have served their role as father and provider, they aren't worth much.

20yrsinBranson
does not feel this way, just sayin'
It's hormone thing for some women, plus they're plumb tuckered out from all the work of catering to kids and hubby. A good choice of mate can make the drudgery tolerable, and all the hard work worthwhile, however.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
I have known a few women like this. It is kind of sad. But then I have also known some men who married mostly because they wanted "mothers;" someone to take care of them. So I guess it can go both ways.
Along that line,

In general, men need women far more than women need men. Over the years, women being the nurturers often get tired of the demands.

Most men can't be alone. Thus, serial marriages/relationships. In general, if men are leaving wife, girlfriend, etc., there is another woman in the wings. Not always, but usually.

Wives often replace mothers. Since those mothers usually had to divide their time and attention among children and husband, some men are needy for more attention - often marrying women like their mothers.

The need for shmoozing - constant validation - is a component to many men. In my family, my father didn't need or want this. Which drove my stepmother crazy. She said he wasn't affectionate enough.

On the other hand, my father's brother (my uncle) and his son (my cousin) were the opposite of my father. Uncle's son, in particular, it was always ALL ABOUT HIM. My aunt was very good at laughing at the jokes, constant schmoozing, stroking the ego, as was her daughter when she married. However, aunt also favored the daughter, not the son, which explains son's exaggerated neediness as an adult. He married three times, first two ended in divorce. Third wife is an alcoholic.

As it happened, my ex-husband was not a problem in this area at first. Later, he resented competing for my attention after our son was born. Both talking to me at the same time at dinner. Each competing with the other. Turns out he, too, had his abandonment issues when his younger brother was born and was sickly for a while, depriving him of his mother's attention. Younger son became the favorite.

Next man I met was a PITA in a major way. I couldn't believe his expectations - especially coming from a household (and marriage) where I had never seen this. Five or more phone calls in a day, etc. He also very much resented his own children (and my one child). Lots of abandonment issues with him. Holocaust survivor, whose mother died when he was 8. An orphan in Europe. Never got over it. Very wealthy and successful. Also, a textbook case for child abandonment issues. Ended up with a woman 27 years younger who put up with it. No children in that marriage, of course. He'd learned his lesson the first time.

Emotional self-sufficiency has a lot to do with one's internal makeup/DNA, family modeling and childhood nurturing - or lack thereof. And how much work a person has done in their lifetime to understand and overcome these issues.

As for me, along with many of the other female posters, these days I have zero tolerance.

Last edited by Ariadne22; 11-02-2011 at 11:43 PM..
 
Old 11-03-2011, 07:50 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,186,293 times
Reputation: 22375
People bond together, whether in friendship or romantic relationships, b/c particular needs are being met through those associations.

Some folks just don't need that much from others.

Some folks find social interaction draining and so limit it. Often, those people have learned, from experience, that there are a lot of needy folks out there who are best described as "emotional vampires."

I can't imagine why anyone would give a rat's ass how social others are or aren't.

People who need social interaction go find it. Those who don't, have their own world and are content in it.
 
Old 11-03-2011, 08:18 AM
 
48 posts, read 38,753 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
People bond together, whether in friendship or romantic relationships, b/c particular needs are being met through those associations.

Some folks just don't need that much from others.

Some folks find social interaction draining and so limit it. Often, those people have learned, from experience, that there are a lot of needy folks out there who are best described as "emotional vampires."

I can't imagine why anyone would give a rat's ass how social others are or aren't.

People who need social interaction go find it. Those who don't, have their own world and are content in it.
Some of us need social interaction but we don't need to be married. If a woman doesn't need a man to support her financially, and she doesn't want to have children, then she doesn't necessarily need to be married. If she needs a lot of sex, that is another story, and then she would need a romantic relationship, although not necessarily married or living together.

I find that some people look down at me because I am not married. I have a romantic relationship, but don't live with him. I think I am lucky I don't have to spend a lot of time cooking and cleaning. I am no good at either.

Also, I don't have to fight with anyone about money. I can make all my own decisions. I have lots of free time and lots of interests and I have friends. I like spending time alone or with people I have things in common with.

I think some women (including me) don't need as much sex when they are over 50. So that driving motivation to be in a live-with relationship is lessened. Do I really want sex so much that I would be willing to be a cook and maid and nurse for a man?

Nah.
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