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Old 11-02-2011, 07:11 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
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Obsessed, what the heck are you smoking! Ok, I'm kidding about the "smoking" thing, JUST kidding!
I asked a simple question, of which a FEW people have answered without slamming the heck out of me. Go to the Relationship forum and all of you will see people asking all kinds of things about married, non-married people and lifestyles. Heck, there are some threads in this forum (not mine) that also ask/talk about them!


Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyLuvsToTravel View Post
everyone in this threat seems to have a nice open mind, and live and let live outlook, except for LoveBoating. It's like he is obsessed with any person's non-married status and quality of life!
i'm single/never married, and do not lack for friends of all gender, age, marital status or interests; but right now i'm just not interested in dating, mating or cohabitating

life is a precious gift to be enjoyed... whether we chose to live that life solo or married, childless or surrounded by a throng of little ones, pet-free or with animals.... "Home is where the heart is, no matter how the heart lives!"

 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:23 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567
Yes, I'm a "stay at home hubby" and my wife works. I stay at home, but she explained that I don't just sit around at home and watch tv/sleep all day! I do things and do have an income coming in......not a lot, but still money coming in!
Wonder how many husbands are on this Forum that stay at home (retired and/or unemployed) and their wife works?
(In red below): Divorce due to financial reasons happens with the young folks, not in our age bracket! How many divorces actually happen with people in their 60's and up......very few! I "contribute to the cause"! We both have an income, but mine just happens to be SS, so!


Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I wasn't kidding. Like you said about yourself in the OP, I was simply curious.

And it wasn't any more of a ridiculous question than what you posed to your neighbor about her choices in her lifestyle.

Studies show that people who work together do often "fall in love." In fact, the majority of relationships begin while folks are working together, whether doing volunteer work, serving on committees or actually working in an office space - or meeting at a work-related event (charity event, convention, etc).

Several years ago, an attorneys' association did a report on what the number one cause for divorce was - and the results were - financial issues.
These can be real issues for folks and I was asking if these concerns were something you had ever thought about - since you and your wife are a real life situation of a stay at home hubby and a working wife.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:28 AM
 
Location: zone 5
7,330 posts, read 13,229,355 times
Reputation: 9611
I love my husband very much. He's several years older, and has a lot more health issues than I do, so the odds are I will be without him someday. I can't see myself getting married again, although of course you never know what will happen. I enjoy the time we spend together, but I enjoy my alone time too, and I have plenty of interests to pursue if I was to live alone. I never liked the dating scene when I was young, so I can't see myself getting into it in the future. And I'm sure I'd do things with friends on the weekend at times but I'm more of a homebody, so it would probably be me, my dogs and cats mostly. I'm sure some people would think I needed to get a life, but hopefully they wouldn't bother me about it.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:35 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,147,825 times
Reputation: 22373
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Yes, I'm a "stay at home hubby" and my wife works. I stay at home, but she explained that I don't just sit around at home and watch tv/sleep all day! I do things and do have an income coming in......not a lot, but still money coming in!
Wonder how many husbands are on this Forum that stay at home (retired and/or unemployed) and their wife works?
I don't know how many men on the forum are retired and at home and have a working wife, but in "real life" - I do know couples w/ this same situation.

Also, I know younger couples w/ the wife working and hubby at home, due to his job loss in this economic situation so many are facing right now.

The men I know who are at home have basically gotten into DIY projects and are using their out of work status as a way of investing in home improvement, doing everything from painting, to upgrading fixtures, to more complex achievements (for the very handy!) such as creating decks, new flower beds, retaining walls, etc.

Of course, that isn't for everyone. Not everyone has that desire or skill or physical stamina.

For some folks (male or female) . . . staying at home while their spouse works can feel very isolating and lonely. I know one man who feels "cheated" in his retirement b/c his wife is working and he is at home by himself during the day.

I need a lot of space and solitude, so being alone all day is preferable for me, lol. If anyone else is around, they need to have their place to be and it needs to be separate from my space ("meet in the kitchen for coffee at 10!") But that isn't for everyone.

Your OP was about being alone . . . Perhaps being alone during the day is sad for you, while your wife is out working . . .I know it is for a lot of people, especially when they were used to having a lot of daily social interaction b/f retirement.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:53 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567
One thing for sure, I've really never liked being an "alone" type person and I was very lucky when I met my wife that she felt the exact same way. After I met her, I seen her every day for the following two weeks before she went on a Cruise with her sisters. While on her 1 1/2 week vacation of Cruise and visiting friends in Florida, we talked each day. One of them she called me from the cruise ship at sea. She also told me what motel they would be staying at after the cruise and I called the motel one morning and suprised the heck out of her. She was relaxing at the pool and the clerk brought her a cordless phone to talk to me on. She loved it! Even though I couldn't financially go on the cruise, her sister told her "feels like he's right her with us!"
During my Squaredance years, I met a lot of older ladies (55 plus) who were single and loved squaredancing. At the time, these ladies were too old for me, but they sure looked like they were having a great time. Some of them would even go to the "after party" (after a Fri/Sat night club dance) and have a few drinks and Country-Western dance with the guys from the squaredance that night. These ladies were single, but going out and having a ball! Quess some older folks are great at being sociable at this age, while others like/love being alone and being a homebody. Both are fine, I've come to realize thru this thread!
 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:58 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,147,825 times
Reputation: 22373
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Divorce due to financial reasons happens with the young folks, not in our age bracket! How many divorces actually happen with people in their 60's and up......very few! I "contribute to the cause"! We both have an income, but mine just happens to be SS, so!
No, actually, divorce after age 55 is not uncommon. Studies indicate that age is not as much a predictor of divorce as is the length of the marriage (and whether or not it is a first marriage). Most divorces occur w/in the first 2-3 years, or around year 7. The likelihood that a couple will divorce goes up in relation to how many previous marriages the couple has had, as well. So marriage # 2 is statistically at higher risk for divorce than marriage # 1, and so forth.

Just as an aside . . . my grandfather was so lonely after my grandmother died (his wife of 50 plus years) . . . he remarried at age 74. The desire to have someone there evidently clouded his good judgement. Wife # 2 had a moving company clean out the house on her way out of town, down to the freezer contents, lol.

It happens.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 07:59 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567
Yes, sometimes I do get lonely, but I sure keep myself occupied at home. I do talk to her about twice a day when she is at work. If she doesn't hear from me, she will call me......I do love this lady! I've gone into work with her in the AM and ate breakfast with her (cafetera in the building).

Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
I don't know how many men on the forum are retired and at home and have a working wife, but in "real life" - I do know couples w/ this same situation.

Also, I know younger couples w/ the wife working and hubby at home, due to his job loss in this economic situation so many are facing right now.

The men I know who are at home have basically gotten into DIY projects and are using their out of work status as a way of investing in home improvement, doing everything from painting, to upgrading fixtures, to more complex achievements (for the very handy!) such as creating decks, new flower beds, retaining walls, etc.

Of course, that isn't for everyone. Not everyone has that desire or skill or physical stamina.

For some folks (male or female) . . . staying at home while their spouse works can feel very isolating and lonely. I know one man who feels "cheated" in his retirement b/c his wife is working and he is at home by himself during the day.

I need a lot of space and solitude, so being alone all day is preferable for me, lol. If anyone else is around, they need to have their place to be and it needs to be separate from my space ("meet in the kitchen for coffee at 10!") But that isn't for everyone.

Your OP was about being alone . . . Perhaps being alone during the day is sad for you, while your wife is out working . . .I know it is for a lot of people, especially when they were used to having a lot of daily social interaction b/f retirement.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 08:06 AM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567
We've both been married twice before, but as Michael Jackson called his last concert......"THIS IS IT" for both of us!
Actually, last night when I was replying to all the posts I had got on this thread, she stayed up til 11PM watching tv and listening to me read some of the postings to her. This morning she was very tired and when I told her "you didn't have to stay up til 11 with me" she said "I don't like going to be bed without you!" Damn we sure are made for each other cause I feel the same way!

Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
No, actually, divorce after age 55 is not uncommon. Studies indicate that age is not as much a predictor of divorce as is the length of the marriage (and whether or not it is a first marriage). Most divorces occur w/in the first 2-3 years, or around year 7. The likelihood that a couple will divorce goes up in relation to how many previous marriages the couple has had, as well. So marriage # 2 is statistically at higher risk for divorce than marriage # 1, and so forth.

Just as an aside . . . my grandfather was so lonely after my grandmother died (his wife of 50 plus years) . . . he remarried at age 74. The desire to have someone there evidently clouded his good judgement. Wife # 2 had a moving company clean out the house on her way out of town, down to the freezer contents, lol.

It happens.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 08:13 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,147,825 times
Reputation: 22373
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
One thing for sure, I've really never liked being an "alone" type person and I was very lucky when I met my wife that she felt the exact same way. After I met her, I seen her every day for the following two weeks before she went on a Cruise with her sisters. While on her 1 1/2 week vacation of Cruise and visiting friends in Florida, we talked each day. One of them she called me from the cruise ship at sea. She also told me what motel they would be staying at after the cruise and I called the motel one morning and suprised the heck out of her. She was relaxing at the pool and the clerk brought her a cordless phone to talk to me on. She loved it! Even though I couldn't financially go on the cruise, her sister told her "feels like he's right her with us!"
During my Squaredance years, I met a lot of older ladies (55 plus) who were single and loved squaredancing. At the time, these ladies were too old for me, but they sure looked like they were having a great time. Some of them would even go to the "after party" (after a Fri/Sat night club dance) and have a few drinks and Country-Western dance with the guys from the squaredance that night. These ladies were single, but going out and having a ball! Quess some older folks are great at being sociable at this age, while others like/love being alone and being a homebody. Both are fine, I've come to realize thru this thread!
Yes, the world is made up of all types of personalities, that is fer shur.

My husband's mom was pregnant when her husband died at age 38. She was a lovely woman and everyone assumed she would re-marry. Nope. She always said - she had married the love of her life . . . and no one else could ever come up to the standards she and her hubby had set with one another . . . so she never remarried. She said she wanted to raise her family her way and someone else would have had his own ideas - and no one could substitute for her husband in that role.

She lived a full, happy life - alone. She had friends, of course, but she preferred to read her books, garden, cook, sew, etc - and be at home.

Being partnered is not for everyone. And not everyone finds alone time to be lonely.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 08:14 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,147,825 times
Reputation: 22373
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Yes, sometimes I do get lonely, but I sure keep myself occupied at home. I do talk to her about twice a day when she is at work. If she doesn't hear from me, she will call me......I do love this lady! I've gone into work with her in the AM and ate breakfast with her (cafetera in the building).
That is really nice that you all can do that.
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