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Old 11-02-2011, 08:42 AM
 
10,318 posts, read 9,369,968 times
Reputation: 15907

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As much in love you say you and your wife are, and as much as you enjoy each other's company, Why would you waste time snooping on your neighbor? One would think you'd be so wrapped up in each other you wouldn't be concerned about anyone else's personal situation.

How would you know if your neighbor is 'just' sitting around her house watching tv? Are you using a spotter scope or walking up to her window to peek inside?

Your remark that she needed to get a life was rude, arrogant, and making the assumption your life is better than hers. You claim you 'looked at her kiddingly' when you made that comment - did you preface your remark to let her know you were just kidding? In reality, all you accomplished was to bash her and her choice of a lifestyle.


Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Know anyone like this who simply says "He** no!" about meeting someone?

We know some single ladies in their late 50's thru 60's that have absolutely no interest in meeting a man......our neighbor being one of them. Wife and I have noticed that she would be home on Friday and Saturday nights with her lights/tv on and we would look at each other and say "wow, that sure wasn't us before we met!" We weren't hard "partiers" before we met, but we sure didn't sit around at home and watch tv on weekend nights! We've talked to her and found out that she was married some 20 yrs ago and lived with a dude for awhile after her divorce. Once, on a Sunday, I seen her on her patio smoking a cigarette, while I was BBQing outside, and I asked her "so what you been up to this weekend" and she said "nothing". I looked at her, kiddingly, and said "lady, you need to get a life!". She smiled and said, "I'm thinking about it". She knows I have a curious mind about me.

Anyway, sometimes I just think everyone should have someone.......like I do. But, then again, some simply enjoy being alone, like my wife's brother (late 50's/never been married) and these ladies!


For all the years that I was divorced (21 of them), I never once thought this way. When I was married the first time, I was "tickled pink"! During all those years I was divorced, I was very (ok, extremely) "relationship/marriage minded" and was always looking for that. In other words, I HATED being single! I got very, very lucky when I met my wife, because she was just as "relationship/marriage" minded as I was. In fact, I'd had a real problem with relationships before her because I was so "smothering/clingy"! Again, I got very lucky as she was the exact same way........loved being with me as much as possible.

 
Old 11-02-2011, 08:49 AM
 
5,090 posts, read 13,542,042 times
Reputation: 6928
This thread and the OP has really hit a sore point for many people.

There are many people who like to be alone by choice; and many more are alone because that is the situation and they make their life, as best as they can.

There are many people who do not have mates or dates by choice; and many more live that fate because that is the case.

The main annoying issue is when a person confronts one who is in that situation, and makes a mockery of that person with giggling glee. It reminds me much of children when they tease another unfortunate child who is a little different. We are adults but unfortunately some are still children and maintain that same behavior, even though they got physically bigger but still remained mentally small.

I think that is what many people are seeing and feeling, they are tired of being teased by adult children. My post about "some of us" was not to that exact issue, yet I have to tell you that that post received much more reputations than I have ever got, in such a short period, of any of my posts.

Livecontent
 
Old 11-02-2011, 09:44 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,847,719 times
Reputation: 8956
Loveboating: None of us gets out of here alive . . . it sounds like you are very dependent on your wife and uncomfortable in your own skin (can't be alone) . . . I am not saying this to be mean, but maybe you should just consider thinking about why you are so anxious/fearful being alone . . . it might help you become more comfortable with life as it is . . .it seems like you are looking for excitement and other people to entertain you . . .

If I were your wife, I would be PISSED if you showed up at my work, just because you can't be alone . . . I would also hate the incessant calls from home. I hate being disturbed at work . . . I cherish my time alone and don't like to be interrupted. I see your contact as needy - in other words, you HAVE to talk to her or you might go berserk. That is not healthy. Maybe just TRY to be by yourself for a day with no contact and notice what goes on with you . . .it sounds like you might have abandonment issues . . .have you thought of seeing a therapist?
 
Old 11-02-2011, 10:25 AM
 
491 posts, read 597,769 times
Reputation: 2095
IMHO, trolls tend to be angry and bored.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 11:32 AM
 
7,338 posts, read 16,634,853 times
Reputation: 4567
No "snooping" done! She has her shades/curtains open all day long. In the evening, they are still open and her big screen tv is on. Sometimes she will be on her patio smoking a cig. Sometimes, when we have gone somewhere on a Fri or Sat evening and returned home, her shades/curtains are wide open and tv are on. I have glanced over towards her apartment and then made a comment to my wife about her being home (as I stated in my opening post). We have our livingroom shades/curtains open quite a bit as well, along with two other window shades in our dining room. During the day, I like to look out the livingroom window from my recliner and see what's going on, if anything. Cars drive by, people walk by with their dogs. Sometimes I will see the ones with their dogs and go outside to say "hi' to the dog!
As far as my remark being rude and arrogant, neither I said it that way nor did she take it that way! Some of you simply don't like people who kid around or joke! AGAIN, when I said this to her, I said it with a SMILE on my face and she replied with a SMILE on hers! There is a 51 yr old single guy that lives here who has a great sense of humor as well. I mentioned to him something about boating, while wife and I were at the Holloween Party and he said to me "when they put a Strip Club by a boat dock, I'll then for sure buy another boat!" I LMAO after he said that.

Nobody was "bashed" or "put down"......only a simply humorous comment made that we both smiled about! It's pretty obvious that you and others don't like much humor in your life! Oh well!


Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
As much in love you say you and your wife are, and as much as you enjoy each other's company, Why would you waste time snooping on your neighbor? One would think you'd be so wrapped up in each other you wouldn't be concerned about anyone else's personal situation.

How would you know if your neighbor is 'just' sitting around her house watching tv? Are you using a spotter scope or walking up to her window to peek inside?

Your remark that she needed to get a life was rude, arrogant, and making the assumption your life is better than hers. You claim you 'looked at her kiddingly' when you made that comment - did you preface your remark to let her know you were just kidding? In reality, all you accomplished was to bash her and her choice of a lifestyle.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 11:45 AM
 
7,338 posts, read 16,634,853 times
Reputation: 4567
So, by this lady smiling at me and saying "I'm thinking about it", I made a mockery of her???? Listen, the lady SMILED when I said what I did and when she said the above. Just what part of the word "SMILED" don't you understand???
I/we still talk to this lady. If she felt bad about what I said, she'd never talk to us again about anything! Any of you ever thing about that????
Also, I've talked to the other ladies about being single with no problems. One lady told me..........AGAIN, with a smile, "I've got my man right here". When I said "oh really" she said "yes, he's got four legs and a beautiful coat" (referring to her male Golden Retriever. This lady says "hi" to wife and I whenever she is outside walking her dog and sees us.
Listen people, these ladies aren't reporting me to the apartment management or coming over and talking to my wife about something I said to them! They know my personality and that I like to ask questions/joke around.



Quote:
Originally Posted by livecontent View Post
This thread and the OP has really hit a sore point for many people.

There are many people who like to be alone by choice; and many more are alone because that is the situation and they make their life, as best as they can.

There are many people who do not have mates or dates by choice; and many more live that fate because that is the case.

The main annoying issue is when a person confronts one who is in that situation, and makes a mockery of that person with giggling glee. It reminds me much of children when they tease another unfortunate child who is a little different. We are adults but unfortunately some are still children and maintain that same behavior, even though they got physically bigger but still remained mentally small.

I think that is what many people are seeing and feeling, they are tired of being teased by adult children. My post about "some of us" was not to that exact issue, yet I have to tell you that that post received much more reputations than I have ever got, in such a short period, of any of my posts.

Livecontent
 
Old 11-02-2011, 11:47 AM
 
7,338 posts, read 16,634,853 times
Reputation: 4567
Who in the He** is a "troll" and angry and bored. Not me by any sense.
But, your reply would be one that wife and I would definitely laugh about!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aqua Blue View Post
IMHO, trolls tend to be angry and bored.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,611 posts, read 9,672,539 times
Reputation: 10948
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Know anyone like this who simply says "He** no!" about meeting someone?

We know some single ladies in their late 50's thru 60's that have absolutely no interest in meeting a man......our neighbor being one of them. Wife and I have noticed that she would be home on Friday and Saturday nights with her lights/tv on and we would look at each other and say "wow, that sure wasn't us before we met!" We weren't hard "partiers" before we met, but we sure didn't sit around at home and watch tv on weekend nights! We've talked to her and found out that she was married some 20 yrs ago and lived with a dude for awhile after her divorce. Once, on a Sunday, I seen her on her patio smoking a cigarette, while I was BBQing outside, and I asked her "so what you been up to this weekend" and she said "nothing". I looked at her, kiddingly, and said "lady, you need to get a life!". She smiled and said, "I'm thinking about it". She knows I have a curious mind about me.

Anyway, sometimes I just think everyone should have someone.......like I do. But, then again, some simply enjoy being alone, like my wife's brother (late 50's/never been married) and these ladies!


For all the years that I was divorced (21 of them), I never once thought this way. When I was married the first time, I was "tickled pink"! During all those years I was divorced, I was very (ok, extremely) "relationship/marriage minded" and was always looking for that. In other words, I HATED being single! I got very, very lucky when I met my wife, because she was just as "relationship/marriage" minded as I was. In fact, I'd had a real problem with relationships before her because I was so "smothering/clingy"! Again, I got very lucky as she was the exact same way........loved being with me as much as possible.
The highlighted parts would be "me". Why do you care so much about other people's 'social life'? And why are you so nosey as to the 'reasons' people like being/living alone? Not everyone is like you. Not everyone WANTS to be like you. You obviously NEED to have someone in your life but many of us don't.

After 30 plus years of marriage, always being the wife/mom/employee, etc. etc. it feels GREAT to not be responsible for anyone else's 'stuff'. Yes, I spoil myself a lot. Nobody else ever has or ever will so why not? It's nobody's business if I spend EVERY Fri. and Sat. night at home, alone, doing whatever my 'thing' is. And I would be very aggravated at ANY neighbor who felt it was their "right" to put me on the spot about it. Telling people they "need to get a life", just because their life is "different" than yours is rude, arrogant and assuming. Joking or not! And your type of "joking" reminds me of my grandfather who never failed to embarass me with his 'humor', especially in public. HE thought he was funny but not many others did.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 12:03 PM
 
3,989 posts, read 3,212,294 times
Reputation: 12970
If anyone was ever that rude to me, Id tell them Im single because Id be afraid Id end up with someone like you. And I would do it with a smile. So just because she is smiling at you doesnt mean she isnt thinking "what an a$$hole...".

Thats fine if your clingy and needy for someone else, cant be alone, and its great you found someone the exact same way. I was married for 20 years, now Ive been single for 18, and couldnt be happier. When I come home from work or shopping, I stay home. Why? Because I LIKE it. Ive worked hard for my home, and nothing makes me happier to be able to stay here. So that is my life, and I love it.

Thank god Ive got great neighbors. I don't know what Id do if there were someone like you around.
 
Old 11-02-2011, 12:09 PM
 
15,149 posts, read 19,745,101 times
Reputation: 21319
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
...the lady SMILED when I said what I did and when she said the above....I/we still talk to this lady. If she felt bad about what I said, she'd never talk to us again about anything!

Just because someone responds with a smile and continues to talk to you doesnt mean she wasnt offended by your probing questions or insensitive comments.

I've been happily divorced for 35 years. Over the years, some arrogant neighbors and co-workers have made remarks like you made. Since I had to live or work with them, I always replied nicely and with a smile on the outside. (You dont want to know what I was saying on the inside.) If a stranger made those same remarks, though, he got an earful from me.
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