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Old 11-01-2011, 03:30 PM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
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Know anyone like this who simply says "He** no!" about meeting someone?

We know some single ladies in their late 50's thru 60's that have absolutely no interest in meeting a man......our neighbor being one of them. Wife and I have noticed that she would be home on Friday and Saturday nights with her lights/tv on and we would look at each other and say "wow, that sure wasn't us before we met!" We weren't hard "partiers" before we met, but we sure didn't sit around at home and watch tv on weekend nights! We've talked to her and found out that she was married some 20 yrs ago and lived with a dude for awhile after her divorce. Once, on a Sunday, I seen her on her patio smoking a cigarette, while I was BBQing outside, and I asked her "so what you been up to this weekend" and she said "nothing". I looked at her, kiddingly, and said "lady, you need to get a life!". She smiled and said, "I'm thinking about it". She knows I have a curious mind about me.

Anyway, sometimes I just think everyone should have someone.......like I do. But, then again, some simply enjoy being alone, like my wife's brother (late 50's/never been married) and these ladies!


For all the years that I was divorced (21 of them), I never once thought this way. When I was married the first time, I was "tickled pink"! During all those years I was divorced, I was very (ok, extremely) "relationship/marriage minded" and was always looking for that. In other words, I HATED being single! I got very, very lucky when I met my wife, because she was just as "relationship/marriage" minded as I was. In fact, I'd had a real problem with relationships before her because I was so "smothering/clingy"! Again, I got very lucky as she was the exact same way........loved being with me as much as possible.

 
Old 11-01-2011, 04:01 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,851,419 times
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I seem to recall you writing a post about this lady before. It's nice that you are happy with your lifestyle, but it is impossible to project how it might be for "everyone else" - could be a myriad of reasons why she is single.

In my estimation, it was kind of judgmental to tell her to "get a life." Some people are complete without a spouse or don't want/need to "party" - she probably just has different values than you have. Would you want her telling you what she thinks is wrong with your life?
 
Old 11-01-2011, 04:12 PM
 
4,479 posts, read 4,739,984 times
Reputation: 9940
I would dare to say that you are completely projecting your own stuff on this neighbor or anyone else who decides differently for themselves. You do what you do for yourself...not for others.

She could have easily said.. "why don't you get a life and mind your own business, mister nosey pants"
 
Old 11-01-2011, 04:16 PM
 
Location: zippidy doo dah
895 posts, read 1,330,598 times
Reputation: 1928
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Know anyone like this who simply says "He** no!" about meeting someone?

We know some single ladies in their late 50's thru 60's that have absolutely no interest in meeting a man......our neighbor being one of them. Wife and I have noticed that she would be home on Friday and Saturday nights with her lights/tv on and we would look at each other and say "wow, that sure wasn't us before we met!" We weren't hard "partiers" before we met, but we sure didn't sit around at home and watch tv on weekend nights! We've talked to her and found out that she was married some 20 yrs ago and lived with a dude for awhile after her divorce. Once, on a Sunday, I seen her on her patio smoking a cigarette, while I was BBQing outside, and I asked her "so what you been up to this weekend" and she said "nothing". I looked at her, kiddingly, and said "lady, you need to get a life!". She smiled and said, "I'm thinking about it". She knows I have a curious mind about me.

Anyway, sometimes I just think everyone should have someone.......like I do. But, then again, some simply enjoy being alone, like my wife's brother (late 50's/never been married) and these ladies!


For all the years that I was divorced (21 of them), I never once thought this way. When I was married the first time, I was "tickled pink"! During all those years I was divorced, I was very (ok, extremely) "relationship/marriage minded" and was always looking for that. In other words, I HATED being single! I got very, very lucky when I met my wife, because she was just as "relationship/marriage" minded as I was. In fact, I'd had a real problem with relationships before her because I was so "smothering/clingy"! Again, I got very lucky as she was the exact same way........loved being with me as much as possible.
I enjoyed a recent essay about women attaining a certain contentment in solitude/"aloneness" upon reaching 50. Somewhat a second awakening of that spirit that exists in our early years but dims with the demands of societal expectations.........................

Ok, that's the poetic response..............here's the cut to the chase -

relationships can be wonderful - they can also be demanding, exhausting, suffocating. "smothering and clingy" has already been cited.

No doubt many adults, and I suspect the ladies may constitute a significant percentage, have committed enough of their life "in committee" and relish these later years of flying solo - enjoying the community of life in general while delighting in the experience of self.
"Get a life" indeed.
 
Old 11-01-2011, 04:38 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,093 posts, read 5,888,275 times
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Agree!



Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
I would dare to say that you are completely projecting your own stuff on this neighbor or anyone else who decides differently for themselves. You do what you do for yourself...not for others.

She could have easily said.. "why don't you get a life and mind your own business, mister nosey pants"
 
Old 11-01-2011, 05:10 PM
 
7,339 posts, read 16,637,122 times
Reputation: 4567
Yes, I may have talked about this lady before......your point?

Anyway, I knew when I done this thread that I'd get some slack from some of you, and that's fine! I can handle the slack! The "nosey", "mind your own business", etc., etc I've heard all before and can only say this....."oh well"! Ok, so I have ATTITUDE mixed in with "being curious"!

Just why is it that so many folks think that "being curious" is such a dreadful crime??? I'm in no way trying to push any kind of lifestyle on anyone! I was kidding around with this lady and she answer me nicely. Nothing like some of you think she should have! Wife and I know that her older sister, older sister's husband and my brother and his wife......all in their mid-upper 60's have a "dry sense of humor" and that's ok. When we lived with my wife's mom, we'd all be sitting in the living room watching tv and something very funny would be said and wife and I would crack up while her mom just sat there motionless! He**, I don't know if I was laughing more because of what was said on tv or at her mom!

My wife just called me, on her way home from work and I told her about this thread, the responses I've got so far and how I've responded.......she was laughing while driving! Did I marry right or what?? Only word for that.....YES!!

Last edited by LoveBoating; 11-01-2011 at 05:19 PM..
 
Old 11-01-2011, 05:14 PM
 
1,214 posts, read 1,355,060 times
Reputation: 1908
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Know anyone like this who simply says "He** no!" about meeting someone?

We know some single ladies in their late 50's thru 60's that have absolutely no interest in meeting a man......our neighbor being one of them. Wife and I have noticed that she would be home on Friday and Saturday nights with her lights/tv on and we would look at each other and say "wow, that sure wasn't us before we met!" We weren't hard "partiers" before we met, but we sure didn't sit around at home and watch tv on weekend nights! We've talked to her and found out that she was married some 20 yrs ago and lived with a dude for awhile after her divorce. Once, on a Sunday, I seen her on her patio smoking a cigarette, while I was BBQing outside, and I asked her "so what you been up to this weekend" and she said "nothing". I looked at her, kiddingly, and said "lady, you need to get a life!". She smiled and said, "I'm thinking about it". She knows I have a curious mind about me.

Anyway, sometimes I just think everyone should have someone.......like I do. But, then again, some simply enjoy being alone, like my wife's brother (late 50's/never been married) and these ladies!


For all the years that I was divorced (21 of them), I never once thought this way. When I was married the first time, I was "tickled pink"! During all those years I was divorced, I was very (ok, extremely) "relationship/marriage minded" and was always looking for that. In other words, I HATED being single! I got very, very lucky when I met my wife, because she was just as "relationship/marriage" minded as I was. In fact, I'd had a real problem with relationships before her because I was so "smothering/clingy"! Again, I got very lucky as she was the exact same way........loved being with me as much as possible.

She appears to be happy with her life. Not everyone hates being without someone. There is nothing wrong with how one chooses to live as long as it doesn't hurt other people. Since you were all up in her business, she could have told you that you needed to get a life.
 
Old 11-01-2011, 05:30 PM
 
593 posts, read 857,788 times
Reputation: 607
you are a creepy neighbor.
 
Old 11-01-2011, 05:31 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,851,419 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Yes, I may have talked about this lady before......your point?

Anyway, I knew when I done this thread that I'd get some slack from some of you, and that's fine! I can handle the slack! The "nosey", "mind your own business", etc., etc I've heard all before and can only say this....."oh well"! Ok, so I have ATTITUDE mixed in with "being curious"!

Just why is it that so many folks think that "being curious" is such a dreadful crime??? I'm in no way trying to push any kind of lifestyle on anyone! I was kidding around with this lady and she answer me nicely. Nothing like some of you think she should have! Wife and I know that her older sister, older sister's husband and my brother and his wife......all in their mid-upper 60's have a "dry sense of humor" and that's ok. When we lived with my wife's mom, we'd all be sitting in the living room watching tv and something very funny would be said and wife and I would crack up while her mom just sat there motionless! He**, I don't know if I was laughing more because of what was said on tv or at her mom!

My wife just called me, on her way home from work and I told her about this thread, the responses I've got so far and how I've responded.......she was laughing while driving! Did I marry right or what?? Only word for that.....YES!!
It's great that you are so happy with your life. I was simply pointing out that you may have hurt this woman's feelings with your remark . . . Live and let live . . . you don't have to try to convert everyone to your lifestyle. And you are very defensive! Just FYI . . .
 
Old 11-01-2011, 05:36 PM
Status: "Amityville Summer" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: in my living room
1,130 posts, read 1,870,225 times
Reputation: 1723
I'm alone and love it. (17yrs.) Well, except for 14 cats and 2 dogs. (I know, crazy cat lady). Family and friends used to tell me I needed to get a life. Then we'd all laugh. I've got one, thank you. It doesn't bother me a bit when someone says it to me.
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