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Nature abhors a vacuum. Count on it. The universe has determined you need this.
You are in a better area employmentwise and cost of living. This might be a very good thing for her - and for you. Are you near any of your other children? Among you, there are seven are there not? I would think it would be pretty hard not to have the unexpected occur with so many variables.
Good luck. You may really enjoy this Christmas. Christmas is fun with kids.
::::smooches::::
Yep! Seven kids in all and this is the one at risk. The rest are doing fine.
You're right on all counts. This too shall pass and we'll decidedly get through it and set stepdaughter on her feet. And you're absolutely right about Christmas. It will be a joy and the boys are going to have a ball with the RC bumpem' cars we have for them with drivers that fly out of them when hit.
Now would you please stop being so reasonable when I'm tryin' ta lick wounds here?
Curmudgeon, it happens to so many parents. And we must have compassion for our kids, no matter what. Maybe it's my old world Italian thing, but "we're family" is a great philosophy in life. Nothing is impossible if you have family--family is "where you go and they have to take you in." Yes, it will be difficult. What I've found is that no judgement or advice giving is the best way to go. Maybe set some limits, like you can stay here for _____ months and these are the things that you must do around here...In advance of their arriving, talk over your policy with your DW.
The main focus is the kids. They must be in great emotional pain and totally unsettled, anxious, out of school, not knowing what their future is. Tend to them mostly, giving them as much security as possible, and you will never regret it. I'm not religious but I do believe in "God works in mysterious ways." What you give now will somehow be returned to you in your lifetime. Sending best wishes.
I love children dearly, but no way would I want a six and an eight year old in my house at my age. Maybe you could house them for a short time by helping her get assistance from Social Services and possibly section 8 housing. Hopefully she wil find some kind of job to be able to move out on her own soon. I do understand your situation and your concerns, but we have to do what we have to do to help our children. It could happen to any of us.
I say let them land safely, creating a safe abode for the children. One day at a time, and some day we look back on these crises and thank heavens for having had the strength to exhibit compassion, patience, and understanding. And you are so right, these days this could happen to anyone.
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.
Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity ?
Don't feel so bad... I'm going to be putting up my Dad soon... He'll be divorced and retired, and after giving my Mom 'Her share' He will have $1,500/Month
Except unlike you... Where you can get her 'up on her feet' and out of your hair... I don't see any end to it. (Well, I do, but it's not only one I don't want, but fortunately many years away.)
Atleast he is fully capable of feeding himself etc. A friend of mine is taking care of her dad... and he can't make a bowl of cereal without making a mess! (To say nothing of the bathroom!)
Y'all make very good points. And the bottom line is that family comes first. I may grouse about it but when push-comes-to-shove, the welfare and security for the children is the primary focus, and I'm not even Italian! They deserve a warm, welcoming, loving home, good food and a secure place to lay their heads every night. That's Job-1.
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.
Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
An old story repeating itself.
In the times past i.e. the depression ,and pre WWII, blended families were the norm. Then came the Great American Dream which blew apart families and communities all across America into the "Me" & "Mine" family model.
Well, the wheel has come full circle again. Welcome to the time of the blended family (which is more the correct human condition than not) again!
Anyone living in a blended family today should feel honored , NOT put upon, that they have a family to enjoy. (even if they are a bit dysfunctional at times ! )
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.
Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
My son came home disabled and bankrupt. We even had to move because the small retirement home couldn't accomidte the three of us and possibly my mother. Someone was looking out for us and I managed to profit from the bubble, at any rate good luck to you and hang in there
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.
Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
Well stuff happens even when we do not like it. Imagine the implications/results if she did not have you two to lean on. It could have gotten real nasty.
Thank you for aiding them and manning up.
Now enjoy a few days of peace and quiet until the $hit hits the fan......LOL
Y'all make very good points. And the bottom line is that family comes first. I may grouse about it but when push-comes-to-shove, the welfare and security for the children is the primary focus, and I'm not even Italian! They deserve a warm, welcoming, loving home, good food and a secure place to lay their heads every night. That's Job-1.
I am so envious of the fun you are going to have. 7 year-old boys, give or take a few years, are so full of it--ideas, adventures, inventions... Cynicism is still a few years off.
Clearly, they are in dire need of someone to show them what being a man and taking care of your family is all about and fortune has sent them your way.
Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
You will find the strength and the temperament, and you will also keep your sanity, because you are smart enough to realize that the two children are not at fault in this matter, and their well-being depends on your keeping your sanity, etc. I do understand that this is not the news you wanted to hear. However, isn't it nice to read a thread where everyone is in agreement? I add my best wishes to those which have already been expressed.
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You will find the strength and the temperament.
