The retirement nightmare (gorgeous, respects, engage, milk)
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I think SD needed the 16 y/o to help w/the boys and the navigating on the cross-country trek. GD has an aunt (older sister of her mother) who 'looks out for her' in CA. Assume, that's who she lives with.
Not meaning to overstep my bounds here, just want to say that the thought has occurred to me (earlier on, even) that it may be easier for you and DW to just keep the kids and encourage their mother go off on her own until she gets settled someplace. Even if it came down to keeping the little guys over the course of a year or more, dealing with just them has got to be a LOT easier. Now I know that SD has no money of her own, but wondering how you could get her out of the house. Her dramas must be hurting the kids. Could you get "aid to dependent children" for them if their mother is somewhere else on her own?
I really dislike strings of responses as a general rule but here goes.
Yes, it might be easier on them if we kept the boys but SD would never give up that part of her "identity" as uber mom. She does have unemployment payments at the CA level which, for some, would almost be a decent living here.
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Originally Posted by Ariadne22
My thoughts, exactly, but I didn't want to be too pessimistic so early in the game. The straw that breaks the camel's back will be when SD finds herself another loser boyfriend. The woman needs constant validation and she is only 36. It won't be long. My bet is in the next few months. At that point, grandma and grandpa will be babysitters, chaffeurs, homework helpers, etc., all the while being loved and hated, and that will be 'the end' of this living arrangement.
NOT! When she finds work and for a time we'll be willing to provide daycare for the boys after school until she gets off work - give them a snack, help with homework, etc. But babysit, never! Not gonna watch the boys while she has a social life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl
Maybe someone else in the family can help/take in the kids' mother, like her biological father (?) while the kids stay where they are?
My wife left the children's sperm donor when their daughters were 18 months and four years old. He was a no-work alchoholic and druggie (she admits her man-picker was hopelessly flawed) so she divorced him. He never supported the girls and also never got over losing his/my wife and always wanted her back. Years later, when he found out that she'd remarried 18 years after their divorce he OD'd and that was the end of him.
My wife was an only child (like me) so there's no one else. Parents on both sides are long gone.
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Originally Posted by Newdaawn
wondering why the 16 year old came at all if she is already wanting to go back to CA. Who will she be living with there?
Because she missed her Grandma and Grandpa. We've helped raise and protect her over the years. Her Aunt is back in CA where she'll return.
This thread gives me a lot of gratitude. My sons are not the most productive louts on the planet, but they haven't been back, haven't populated the world with more children they would struggle to support and haven't been in any recent trouble. I'll keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer or two for Curmudgeon.
SD and GD left awhile ago to make the four+ hour drive to the airport (told ya we were rural) to send GD on her way back to the left coast. Now there are three! Preprogrammed and loaned SD ouir GPS to get her there and back. Now we have a day of peace and quiet until the boys get back from school at about 4:00. That's all for now.
SD and GD left awhile ago to make the four+ hour drive to the airport (told ya we were rural) to send GD on her way back to the left coast. Now there are three! Preprogrammed and loaned SD ouir GPS to get her there and back. Now we have a day of peace and quiet until the boys get back from school at about 4:00. That's all for now.
Sit down at 3:00 with a good stiff drink in your hand and some peaceful listening music. Enjoy the peace and quiet. You deserve it....LOL
Ha ...... The only reason OL Curm's going to heaven is the Devil's afraid he'll take over....
AHEM! I heard that, Buddy.
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