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I could write a book about caring for Bipolar. One chapter of scenario with 100 chapters of possible endings. None of which will turn out as you would expect. Prepare for change !! You WILL be despised and rejected (several times / day), learn to 'Get-over-it'. As mentioned above, don't take it personal, as it emanates from a 'non-natural' thought process. It is like separating 'emotion' from Work related crisis', only this crisis LIVES with you. (hint: get some space... fortunately, I had an old barn to retreat to. It heard a lot of woes. I eventually had to fix the roof and floor as they too were sagging from the burden of life. BUT We are both still standing
I could probably co-author it. My wife is bipolar. With SD it's not the bipolar tha's such an issue - although she appears to be in a perpetual but somewhat controlled manic state - it's the narcissism combined with the borderline.
While I well understand the origins of some of her actions, that doesn't mean that I'm prepared to tolerate certain types of behaviors under my roof.
Just under two weeks and last night, the REAL SD emerged. After she and the children had eaten, we prepared our dinner and planned to eat it in the dining area which is just off the living room and totally open to it.
I always look forward to the updates of what's going on with your "newly expanded" family, and how you handle each challenge as it comes along.
Perhaps you addressed this in another post and I missed it, but I was wondering if you/your wife and SD/grandsons ever eat dinner together as a family? My question is not intended as any kind of criticism...was just curious.
I always look forward to the updates of what's going on with your "newly expanded" family, and how you handle each challenge as it comes along.
Perhaps you addressed this in another post and I missed it, but I was wondering if you/your wife and SD/grandsons ever eat dinner together as a family? My question is not intended as any kind of criticism...was just curious.
Kinda like watchin' a train wreck, right?
Haven't addressed it but we don't all eat together. The children eat early and while we provide the fixin's, SD cooks their dinners and most often eats with them. They can be picky eaters and what they eat is very different from what and how we eat, to include the way and the extent to which things are cooked, especially meats.
My wife and I eat a very healthy, almost totally fat-free diet with no sugars in it. We prefer our meats and vegetables lightly cooked and grilled. Some vegetables we steam. We don't use butter but we do use herbs and spices they're not familiar with and likely wouldn't care for. Also, we eat a lot of things at which they would turn up their noses, especially seafood which constitutes almost half our normal diet. Add a lot of Asian cooking and it's just not conducive to joint dining. Besides, we usually don't eat dinner until around 8:00 p.m.
On many occasions I will grill something for them to their liking for their dinner meal and then later grill the same thing, seasoned and gently done the way we like it, for ours.
We will all sit down together for the Christmas meal but it won't be traditional. No turkey, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, creamed onions, etc. Instead it will be a prime rib roast (They get the outside slices ) done on the grill with roasted red potatoes and other sides to be determined.
Having said that, they're about to sit down to a tri-tip I've had marinating for two days and is currently resting having come off the grill. The small end should be done enough for them and if not, there's always the microwave. We'll eat the rarer portion later and in a few days I'll use some to make beef-broccoli which they will eat.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon
... They can be picky eaters and what they eat is very different from what and how we eat, ...
My wife and I eat a very healthy,... I'll use some to make beef-broccoli which they will eat.
Now then, aren't you sorry you asked?
Ah Ha, the plot thickens,
the kids are really gonna be well behaved once they get fully integrated and well fed
Probably a GREAT choice to let them keep something familiar, within their life of turmoil and transition. I'm sure they will be begging for your 'Healthy-Choice' in about a yr.
I end up eating separately frequently, cuz everyone else gets tired of waiting till dark (especially in summer ~ 10pm).
With SD it's not the bipolar tha's such an issue - although she appears to be in a perpetual but somewhat controlled manic state - it's the narcissism combined with the borderline.
My wife and I eat a very healthy, almost totally fat-free diet with no sugars in it. We prefer our meats and vegetables lightly cooked and grilled. Some vegetables we steam. We don't use butter but we do use herbs and spices they're not familiar with and likely wouldn't care for. Also, we eat a lot of things at which they would turn up their noses, especially seafood which constitutes almost half our normal diet. Add a lot of Asian cooking and it's just not conducive to joint dining. Besides, we usually don't eat dinner until around 8:00 p.m.
On many occasions I will grill something for them to their liking for their dinner meal and then later grill the same thing, seasoned and gently done the way we like it, for ours.
We will all sit down together for the Christmas meal but it won't be traditional. No turkey, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, creamed onions, etc. Instead it will be a prime rib roast (They get the outside slices ) done on the grill with roasted red potatoes and other sides to be determined.
Having said that, they're about to sit down to a tri-tip I've had marinating for two days and is currently resting having come off the grill. The small end should be done enough for them and if not, there's always the microwave. We'll eat the rarer portion later and in a few days I'll use some to make beef-broccoli which they will eat.
Now then, aren't you sorry you asked?
I AM sorry I asked...because now my mouth is watering as you describe some of your delicious meals.
I think she was engaging in classic "splitting" behavior.
Good for you, Curmudgeon, for seeing it for what it is.
Can you explain 'classic "splitting" behavior'? Reason I ask is that I'd swear from his descriptions that Curmudgeon's SD is one of my nieces, except that logistics contradict it. So any tips on coping with abberant behavior are always welcome!
Can you explain 'classic "splitting" behavior'? Reason I ask is that I'd swear from his descriptions that Curmudgeon's SD is one of my nieces, except that logistics contradict it. So any tips on coping with abberant behavior are always welcome!
I'm not a psychologist, but I know enough about mental health to be able to say that "behavior" is not the illness, it's a symptom of the illness. The illness itself can be there even if the behavior itself is not deviant from the norm.
From my extensive reading and experience with a family member (my mother)...apparently with bipolar, behavior "swings" from high (manic) to low (depressive) over longer or very short periods of time... and some who are afflicted have more of one than the other. A lot of super creative artists (many famous) have had this disorder. Creative people can channel the polar states in creative ways, but they also suffer at the same time. It is hard on those who are close. There are meds, and also alternative ways of dealing.
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. As mentioned above, 
don't take it personal
(hint: get some space... fortunately, I had an old barn to retreat to. It heard a lot of woes. I eventually had to fix the roof and floor as they too were sagging from the burden of life
. BUT We are both still standing 
I could probably co-author it. My wife is bipolar. With SD it's not the bipolar tha's such an issue - although she appears to be in a perpetual but somewhat controlled manic state - it's the narcissism combined with the borderline.
