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Old 11-26-2011, 04:08 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,574 posts, read 28,298,967 times
Reputation: 28457

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Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.

Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.

Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?

 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:26 PM
 
1,091 posts, read 1,143,669 times
Reputation: 1558
I love children dearly, but no way would I want a six and an eight year old in my house at my age. Maybe you could house them for a short time by helping her get assistance from Social Services and possibly section 8 housing. Hopefully she wil find some kind of job to be able to move out on her own soon. I do understand your situation and your concerns, but we have to do what we have to do to help our children. It could happen to any of us.
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,347 posts, read 77,182,895 times
Reputation: 17264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.

Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.

Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
Where is the kids' dad? (If he is deceased or incapacitated then obviously he can't do anything.)
Should those kids' dad be preventing this from happening?
Can she transport the kids across state lines like this?
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
11,103 posts, read 6,981,759 times
Reputation: 6124
Lots of work over in NW Ark. Hope she gets on her feet soon.
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:39 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,574 posts, read 28,298,967 times
Reputation: 28457
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Where is the kids' dad? (If he is deceased or incapacitated then obviously he can't do anything.)
Should those kids' dad be preventing this from happening?
Can she transport the kids across state lines like this?
He's a user, loser and doesn't care. So yes, she can transport the children and we simply can't let them end up on the street.

Trust me, having been through a divorce with children in CA and as a former cop, I'm well aware of the laws concerning this.
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:40 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,574 posts, read 28,298,967 times
Reputation: 28457
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cali BassMan View Post
Lots of work over in NW Ark. Hope she gets on her feet soon.
Me too, Buddy. She's bright and capable and won't just sit around.
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:42 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,886 posts, read 62,023,459 times
Reputation: 22153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Where is the kids' dad? (If he is deceased or incapacitated then obviously he can't do anything.)
Should those kids' dad be preventing this from happening?
Can she transport the kids across state lines like this?
Oh good grief. Obviously she CAN cause she IS. Any possible legal implications are the least of this young woman's problems. If her ex were doing anything to help out, then she wouldn't be out on the streets. HELLO. If her ex isn't bothering to pay the child support and help out w/ the kids' needs now, you can bet he isn't gonna surface to try to get custody of them or cause a ruckus over visitation in another state.

Curmudgeon, I have several friends who have gone through this scenario, and one is dealing with it right now - only there is a baby involved. At least you are not going to have an infant in the house keeping everyone up at night <shudders at the thought>

Take a very deep breath. As you already know, nothing in life stays the same. There is no status quo. That means the good stuff isn't gonna last, but it also means the bad stuff isn't forever, either, lol. Just keep that in mind. It will be stressful and difficult at first but you and your wife will immediately sort through things w/ your stepdaughter, find out what social services are available, or what the court can do to put the squeeze on an irresponsible dad (if that is possible) . . . you will lend your good judgment and wisdom to help your stepdaughter figure out what is next in her life and how to create a stable situation for those two little boys.

It will seem like the sky is falling at first - just having your regular routines interrupted will be very trying, I feel sure. But you will get through it.

In the end, you will find your stepdaughter a place to live, help her get employed, get the kids in a stable environment, and who knows? You may find this Christmas has a special magic in it you haven't felt in a very long time. I suspect there are gonna be two little boys who are needing a strong male figure in their lives . . . and you are gonna fill the bill - for now.
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,547 posts, read 37,254,648 times
Reputation: 12282
Nature abhors a vacuum. Count on it. The universe has determined you need this.

You are in a better area employmentwise and cost of living. This might be a very good thing for her - and for you. Are you near any of your other children? Among you, there are seven are there not? I would think it would be pretty hard not to have the unexpected occur with so many variables.

Good luck. You may really enjoy this Christmas. Christmas is fun with kids.
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Las Flores, Orange County, CA
26,347 posts, read 77,182,895 times
Reputation: 17264
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Obviously she CAN cause she IS.
Not necessarily smarty pants.
 
Old 11-26-2011, 04:48 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,886 posts, read 62,023,459 times
Reputation: 22153
Quote:
Originally Posted by charles View Post
not necessarily smarty pants.
:d:d:d
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