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Old 12-10-2011, 03:24 PM
 
857 posts, read 1,780,341 times
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We retired to Florida/Sarasota area,which is quite beautiful.

Yet my problem is although I have met many seniors like myself,I just don't know what to talk about after the initial "Hello and where are you from"

I no longer work,our children are all grown.
Yes,I play cards and am in a group but they are just card playing fiends but not REAL friends,if you know what I mean.

Is it possible to gain a real friend once you are over 65years old.
Plus what do you talk about other than pleasantries.
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abbara View Post
We retired to Florida/Sarasota area,which is quite beautiful.

Yet my problem is although I have met many seniors like myself,I just don't know what to talk about after the initial "Hello and where are you from"

I no longer work,our children are all grown.
Yes,I play cards and am in a group but they are just card playing fiends but not REAL friends,if you know what I mean.

Is it possible to gain a real friend once you are over 65years old.
Plus what do you talk about other than pleasantries.
Good question. Personally, I gave up trying to make new friends a long time ago so I don't really have any answers for you. I tried different groups, church, the senior center...nobody is much interested in making new friends. They seem to have all they need already. One problem is that most of them are 'too old' for me. I still do work. I still have a huge bunch of energy, can go/do/see more than a lot of other seniors I've met. I have no illnesses/operations/meds to discuss and I refuse to bore people with my kids and grkids. So much for conversation.

I would venture to say that, yes, it IS possible to gain real friends even if over 65 but I haven't had much success so... I guess I am just really really lucky that I enjoy my own company as much as I do because I spend most of my time with just me.
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Old 12-10-2011, 04:03 PM
 
Location: California Mountains
1,448 posts, read 2,589,054 times
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Are you a woman or a man? For a woman, Red Hat Society would be the quickest way to make friends. You don't need to join straight away, just meet and talk with a few members to get a feel about it first.

Here is an old thread on RH in Sarasota:

Red Hat Society
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Old 12-10-2011, 04:11 PM
 
857 posts, read 1,780,341 times
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Well thanks for your honest reply.
I hear people talk about their many friends and have only lived here in Florida a few years like myself and I wonder what am I doing wrong and feel badly about myself.
I too have a lot of energy,no illnesses,and a good marriage.
After reading your response,I suppose that is just the way it is.
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Old 12-10-2011, 04:27 PM
 
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Have to really agree with AzDesertBrat about "too old" for us. We tried church and Bible Study with our age group, but they did act "too old" for us. We are in our early 60's and like to have fun, but we guess it's the kind of fun that some-to-most in our age bracket don't like or do anymore.

The cd music we like to listen to and music dvd's (concerts) we like to watch sure don't seem to be the same as others in our age bracket. Our love of powerboating and target shooting isn't there either........at least where we live. We like to have a couple of beers, rum & coke or a margarita once in a while and it seems like we are the only ones in our age bracket that drink a little. Sometimes, when we go to a party at the complex club house, we will bring a Bud Light in a "cold holder", but none of the other 60 plus folks do. A single dude who is 50 and his friend who is 40 will also.

We would love to meet a married couple in our age bracket to do things with, but........if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
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Old 12-10-2011, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,618 posts, read 9,687,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abbara View Post
Well thanks for your honest reply.
I hear people talk about their many friends and have only lived here in Florida a few years like myself and I wonder what am I doing wrong and feel badly about myself.
I too have a lot of energy,no illnesses,and a good marriage.
After reading your response,I suppose that is just the way it is.
You are, no doubt, doing nothing "wrong" and don't let anyone/thing make you feel badly about yourself. It's most important that you be comfortable in your own skin and like yourself, just as you are.

You never know...there might be a great group out there just waiting for you to join. I saw the suggestion for Red Hats and that's something you might like. I wanted to try it but the area where I lived had limited membership, I worked hours that weren't conducive to meeting up AND they seemed to spend a lot of money doing things I couldn't afford.
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Old 12-10-2011, 05:37 PM
 
Location: Danvers, MA
35 posts, read 65,216 times
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You could try www.meetup.com and search Sarasota Florida. They have different newcomers groups in the area that meet for dinner, adventure groups, some have book clubs. They have them for all ages, singles or couples. Good luck.
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Old 12-10-2011, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,125 posts, read 9,086,149 times
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I do think its very difficult to make "new" friends after age 65. And I know my "good" friends are from high school ! We have kept in touch and I value those friendships alot, even though we don't see each other all that often. I think it has to do with the long time span from growing up until age 65 and all the experiences one has accumulated. Its hard to share all of that with a new real friend. Its hard to give a new friend your opinions on your childhood, marriage, teen years, high school, boyfriends, pets, kids, houses, jobs, etc etc. An old friend has probably kept up with most of it thru the years. I did make a very good new friend here about a year ago, and then she moved to another state. Another part of the problem: everyone is so transient these days.
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Old 12-10-2011, 06:36 PM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,741,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Have to really agree with AzDesertBrat about "too old" for us. We tried church and Bible Study with our age group, but they did act "too old" for us. We are in our early 60's and like to have fun, but we guess it's the kind of fun that some-to-most in our age bracket don't like or do anymore.

The cd music we like to listen to and music dvd's (concerts) we like to watch sure don't seem to be the same as others in our age bracket. Our love of powerboating and target shooting isn't there either........at least where we live. We like to have a couple of beers, rum & coke or a margarita once in a while and it seems like we are the only ones in our age bracket that drink a little. Sometimes, when we go to a party at the complex club house, we will bring a Bud Light in a "cold holder", but none of the other 60 plus folks do. A single dude who is 50 and his friend who is 40 will also.

We would love to meet a married couple in our age bracket to do things with, but........if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
I might suggest that church and bible study people are not the type that like to have a few drinks and laughs. Mostly they are pretty uptight and many have some I need repenting for my sins issues going on. Like homophobic but actually gay.

I suggest join/participate in social (not religious) activities you personally enjoy (golf, tennis, croquet, swimming, card playing, whatever) and expand your social circle out from there.

Wife and I have moved around quite a bit and aside from professional/family friends, most of our social friends have been based around our joining golf clubs and meeting people/socializing with people there. Some we liked, some we did not. Some liked us, some did not. That is life.
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Old 12-10-2011, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in deep in Maine
3,658 posts, read 2,812,950 times
Reputation: 4436
I SUGGEST YOU JOIN in some activities where you are volunteering to help people. The Rotary, the YMCA, Senior Hostels, etc. If you want to get new friends look for a place where you can help, not just where you can socialize.

You will suddenly find that you have lots to talk about and lots to do. Every community wants new people who volunteer to make the community better.
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