U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-16-2011, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Great State of Texas
86,093 posts, read 72,673,311 times
Reputation: 27566

Advertisements

I suggest retiring to TN. It's your husband you have to live with not your daughter. She has her life now.

What you could do is return for extended vacations and stay with your daughter..a month or two or three if you don't plan to work in TN.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-21-2011, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,980,344 times
Reputation: 6724
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdmartin View Post
hello retirees, please tell me how I can move and leave kids and grandkids in another state???
My husband wants to go back to TN but my girls relocated here, in Kansas. was it difficult for you to leave your family,
my daughter does not want me to leave her and 2 grandchildren, and puts me on a guilt trip, I am raising another daughters 9 year old son, should I separate the family by moving now?? Any advice?? We are torn, my grandson doesnt mind going, hes country at heart but hates to leave cousins and aunt
Retiring while taking care of a 9 year old isn't a typical retirement . Are the schools in both places equally good? Robyn
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2011, 03:52 PM
 
8,242 posts, read 11,957,022 times
Reputation: 18174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55 View Post
Retiring while taking care of a 9 year old isn't a typical retirement . Are the schools in both places equally good? Robyn
That 9 year old is now 13. You responded to an OP from 2007.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2011, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,980,344 times
Reputation: 6724
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
That 9 year old is now 13. You responded to an OP from 2007.
Gosh - I almost always forget to look at those things . Maybe there should be a rule about responding to 4 year old threads! Wonder what the OP wound up doing? Robyn
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-03-2012, 04:31 PM
 
10 posts, read 13,868 times
Reputation: 14
Default Still no clear answer....

I guess it's what's best for each person. And that's so hard to figure out. This is what I am struggling with right now. And I have no idea what the 'right' answer is for myself, let alone other people. All the answers given make sense to me...to a degree. Then there's the 'but". I guess it's making a decision and seeing how it plays out. If it doesn't work, fix it. If that means move back, or find a place to stay closer for a period of time if finances will allow, then all is well. But to stay when you really want or need to leave I think sets up a no win resentment. Our kids can't fill nor should they be expected to, our needs. So to stay is to risk giving up what we want and need. I think I'm working this through as I write this for myself. maybe this is a new kind of therapy...City-Data.com therapy!! Cheap too!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-04-2012, 07:06 AM
 
4,355 posts, read 6,077,228 times
Reputation: 10483
Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmicWizard View Post
But will you be happy with the ending?

blessings...Franco
There is no ending unless you die. If you don't like your choice then pick up and move again. It's not like your retirement choice grows roots and holds you down forever.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-04-2012, 12:03 PM
 
10,439 posts, read 9,427,376 times
Reputation: 16067
Quote:
Originally Posted by ipoetry View Post
There is no ending unless you die. If you don't like your choice then pick up and move again. It's not like your retirement choice grows roots and holds you down forever.
Some are not able financially support more than one move; that is one of the things holding me back from relocating.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-04-2012, 01:14 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,557,477 times
Reputation: 29084
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
Some are not able financially support more than one move; that is one of the things holding me back from relocating.
We figured we had one good move in us and we made it - a lot further from most of our children asnd grandchildren - somewhat closer but not real close to the rest.

We're right where we wanted to be in retirement. To us, that's the principal issue.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-04-2012, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,780 posts, read 10,888,867 times
Reputation: 16675
Four years after retiring, we made a move the other direction from most here ... to get closer to kids and grandkids (who previously lived about 9 hours away; the other set is still about 4-5 hours away). A year into the move, I've got to say that things are working out well.

Yes, I miss my old golf group and ministry in that area, but, figured there are new friends, golf courses and ministries here. A couple of things influenced our decision: (1) the 'kids' are older and well established, so they are unlikely to be 'forced' to move; (2) My wife's vision is deteriorating and counting on future travel (driving) or a move may not be an option; (3) We are still located in a beautiful, beachy Florida location and home, yet are far enough away from kids/grandkids (30-40 minutes and 4-5 hours) to not impose on them ... or allow them to 'overly-impose' on us.

We are still in good physical and financial shape, and still travel and do whatever we want. But, it is a comfort and pleasure to have family nearby as one grows older. I guess this is just another example of 'different strokes for different folks.'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-04-2012, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Ponte Vedra Beach FL
14,628 posts, read 17,980,344 times
Reputation: 6724
I will just note that no one has has mentioned a move in terms of being closer to or farther away from parents (as opposed to children or grandchildren). Most of us are 50-70 or so. And our parents are the people in our families who will most likely need help now or in the future. Any thoughts? Robyn
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top