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Some of these posts make me realize that many people who have had to deal with others during their work years are only too happy to not have to be with other people in their retired years. Hence, not only do they not want to "entertain," they'd rather be alone or only with people they care deeply about. My DH and I always worked in situations with many other people. We like people and still enjoy meeting new people and interacting. The joy of entertaining post work years is that you only have to invite people you actually like!
We are all so different--and to each his own!
I think you hit the nail squarely on the head. My wife and I both worked in the political venue. As such there were many, many social obligations, most often consisting of cocktail gatherings after work which we were expected to attend to "network." We were not fond of them, and that's putting it mildly.
It didn't take us long to develop a foolproof system. We would come into the room after it filled, head for the bar, order a drink then make the rounds of the room schmoozing with just about everyone there, return to the bar, set down our still full glasses and quietly exit. Carrying full glasses avoided having others want to buy us a drink and comandeer our attention for more than a very few minutes. Generally we'd then go to a nice restaurant, have a good meal, just the two of us, then go home.
The end result was that everyone saw and spoke with us. Everyone felt as if we'd given them our attention and heard their issues and we were in-and-out in about 30 minutes. Worked like a charm!
Its hard to see older friends you grew up with when they all start to show their age so you make believe they are all MIA.After all why agonize your self?
Its hard to see older friends you grew up with when they all start to show their age so you make believe they are all MIA.After all why agonize your self?
But don't lose sight of the fact that your age becomes evident as well. One of life's inevitabilities.
Its hard to see older friends you grew up with when they all start to show their age so you make believe they are all MIA.After all why agonize your self?
It is very hard to be able to tell when someone wants to talk and doesn't. ...
It's not necessary to be able to tell ahead of time whether someone wants to talk or doesn't. You can simply say something conversational and open-ended to someone, and then ... this is the important part ... wait and listen. If they want to talk they'll talk, as long as someone's willing to listen.
Equally important, you also have to be willing to hear a a non-response. That's when you figure out that the person doesn't want to talk right now.
We entertain a couple of times a year, in summer we have pool party and barbeque, a Christmas party and actually "entertain" when we are RVing at our campsite. We moved to another state when we retired and have made friends with several couple; we all enjoy getting together. We also have made friends with people we travel with in the RV. Some are from other states, but we meet up in various states.
I guess because we have more time on our hands, we have more time to make friends. Interestingly it seems although the friends are new, it feels like we have known them for years.
I find this a strange post. If youinvite people overthey dont owe to return the favor, truth is most probly accept not to be rude, so u probly arent doing them a favor. I for one (retired law enforcement) isnt a person who likes my privacy invaded and dont like quests.My wife is more outwardly friendly but ofcourse she isnt going to upset me. but im not unfriendly. Alot of people come from similar backgrounds and suffer from OCD,etc and are fearful of people coming into their homes. For me it was a pita, had to make sure i hid my weapons,etc. And in todays society yiou can get sued by guests,lol. If i went tto someones home believe me it was not to be rude and make my wife happy, but my home is CLOSED.
I am a pretty good cook (although putting together a nice dinner party is a lot of work). Still - I didn't mind it for many years. Until...
As the people we know - both friends and family - got older. It seems like A won't eat this - and B won't eat that - and C won't eat the other thing (mostly for reasons that aren't medical - like they're diabetic or anything like that - they're just all on different weird diets - that they won't deviate from even during the holidays). Of course - kids won't eat anything other than chicken nuggets . Then we have friends who only eat Kosher. The first couple of times I made Kosher dairy meals - because I don't have access to Kosher meat/poultry - it was kind of challenging and interesting. Then it just became a chore.
Also - when people bring stuff to our house - a lot of it is plain awful. Because they're lousy cooks - buy crummy pre-made stuff at the market - or do things like making desserts using vile tasting sugar substitutes - etc. I love my best friend - but she makes chopped liver with mayo <yuck>.
And then a lot of people we know (regardless of age) want to eat dinner at 6 - whereas we like to eat at about 8.
IMO - when you cook - especially during the holidays - nothing (including calories) counts. Unless you have a *real* medical condition. Like diabetes. Or - in the case of my late FIL - congestive heart failure. I made a huge Thanksgiving meal for his last Thanksgiving - for him and his whole family. Lots of spices/herbs - no salt. Turned out fabulous. I don't want to kill anyone when I make dinner for them . But - for the people who are simply picky picky picky - thumbs down. Robyn
The retired people I've met don't seem to entertain much. Is this common? Do people in their late 60's and 70's give up entertaining friends at home? (And only do family occasions?)
If you are retired, do you like to entertain?
We've had people to our home for dinner and some reciprocate and some don't.
I don't like to entertain but I've never liked to entertain. I'd rather we all just go out.
We don't have to worry about this with the couple we know........all they bring is a couple of 6 packs of beer and that's fine with us.
I'm a Type II Diabetic, but still know how to have fun eating during he holidays!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robyn55
For several reasons.
I am a pretty good cook (although putting together a nice dinner party is a lot of work). Still - I didn't mind it for many years. Until...
As the people we know - both friends and family - got older. It seems like A won't eat this - and B won't eat that - and C won't eat the other thing (mostly for reasons that aren't medical - like they're diabetic or anything like that - they're just all on different weird diets - that they won't deviate from even during the holidays). Of course - kids won't eat anything other than chicken nuggets . Then we have friends who only eat Kosher. The first couple of times I made Kosher dairy meals - because I don't have access to Kosher meat/poultry - it was kind of challenging and interesting. Then it just became a chore.
Also - when people bring stuff to our house - a lot of it is plain awful. Because they're lousy cooks - buy crummy pre-made stuff at the market - or do things like making desserts using vile tasting sugar substitutes - etc. I love my best friend - but she makes chopped liver with mayo <yuck>.
And then a lot of people we know (regardless of age) want to eat dinner at 6 - whereas we like to eat at about 8.
IMO - when you cook - especially during the holidays - nothing (including calories) counts. Unless you have a *real* medical condition. Like diabetes. Or - in the case of my late FIL - congestive heart failure. I made a huge Thanksgiving meal for his last Thanksgiving - for him and his whole family. Lots of spices/herbs - no salt. Turned out fabulous. I don't want to kill anyone when I make dinner for them . But - for the people who are simply picky picky picky - thumbs down. Robyn
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I Don't Entertain As Much As I Used To
. Then we have friends who only eat Kosher. The first couple of times I made Kosher dairy meals - because I don't have access to Kosher meat/poultry - it was kind of challenging and interesting. Then it just became a chore.
. But - for the people who are simply picky picky picky - thumbs down. Robyn
