Do You Enjoy Being With Other People? (crying, vacation, engage)
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Sometimes people in Wal Mart or anywhere else can get shocked when wife and I speak to them. I'll see someone with a bag of dogfood and I'll ask "what kind of dog do you have?".
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat
I kind of had to laugh at that bolded part because one of the biggest complaints I hear at work...Walmart...is how people block the aisles because they are having a 'gabfest' with another shopper! lol I see people interacting with others all the time and nobody seems 'shocked'. Also, I see a lot of politeness exhibited such as somebody with a large basket full will let someone with only a couple of items go ahead of them. This isn't at all unusual.
Agree. Supermarkets and stores are the easiest place where instant connections are formed. It happens everywhere and it happens all the time. Never once in my life had I seen anyone being mildly surprised, let alone "shocked", when approached by other shoppers especially when the remarks were about the items in the shopping cart.
This reminds me of a problem I've been having with cab drivers. In the west coast city I'm from, drivers aren't curious about their passengers and mind their own business, listening to the radio or even talking on a cell phone.
In the southern city where I live now, drivers talk constantly. One tried to get me to go into business with him; another complained about his dispatcher during the whole trip; another asked far too many personal questions. I would rather sit quietly and look out the window during the trip instead of making conversation, but I don't want to be rude. I don't like being a captive audience. I don't want to ride with an angry driver, either! Any suggestions?
My husband and I have always enjoyed meeting new people. It is harder when you are a senior to make new friends. It is all about belonging to some organization and what a person is doing. I think the retirement communities are good as they offer support as most are at or about the same place in life. I don't know why people would like to only be friends with their spouses or be alone. We have moved several times over the years and always enjoyed being in a new place and meeting new people. Since moving to small southern town, however, find it difficult to make friends with like interests. Mostly they only want to socialize within their family unit or church.
For numerous reasons, many people (young and old) simply don't want to associate with others. There are employees that will say (to themselves), "just leave me alone and let me do my job!". They will attend an in-company party, but will go "Humbug" to any outside company functions. To me, there sure are a lot of Scrooge's out there!
There is nothing Scrooge-y about people who do not want to socialize with their co-workers after working hours. There are people who do not wish to have their personal lives and professional lives mixed. There are people who strongly believe their hours away from the offices are their own, especially when they have already given a good chunk of their every day to the company or the clients. There are people who do not care to play the game of networking in order to get advance, and they do not need to be part of the office crowd to be liked or accepted. If they do not belittle your jester-like standards, you might want to reciprocate by respecting their more serious standards.
My daughter (mid 30s) is one of three female attorneys in a medium-size law firm. The firm schedules regular functions -- golf, touch football, softball, hockey, boxing matches (not between the employees, but professional boxing matches), cocktail fests at a club, etc. My daughter does not drink, is clueless about all sports except marathon sports, and abhors violence in all forms. After 50+ hours in the office and a dozen more with the work she takes home, she does not care to attend parties of any kind, in or out of the company. She would rather have a meal with her husband, read a book that is not related to her cases, or being with the friends in her own circle. Does that make her a Scrooge? No. She is very outgoing although not the same kind of outgoing preferred by the male attorneys in the firm. She does not frowned on other people's way and she does not wish to be frowned upon for her way. She is a good attorney who is respected by judges, colleagues, and clients. In her standards, that is worth a lot more than being seen as the life of the party.
You might want to leave your way of thinking momentarily and trying to look at life from other people's perspective before labeling them in unflattering terms.
Last edited by Ol' Wanderer; 01-11-2012 at 03:14 PM..
There is nothing Scrooge-y about people who do not want to socialize with their co-workers after working hours. There are people who do not wish to have their personal lives and professional lives mixed. There are people who strongly believe their hours away from the offices are their own, especially when they have already given a good chunk of their every day to the company or the clients. There are people who do not care to play the game of networking in order to get advance, and they do not need to be part of the office crowd to be liked or accepted. If they do not belittle your jester-like standards, you might want to reciprocate by respecting their more serious standards.
My daughter (mid 30s) is one of three female attorneys in a medium-size law firm. The firm schedules regular functions -- golf, touch football, softball, hockey, boxing matches (not between the employees, but professional boxing matches), cocktail fests at a club, etc. My daughter does not drink, is clueless about all sports except marathon sports, and abhors violence in all forms. After 50+ hours in the office and a dozen more with the work she takes home, she does not care to attend parties of any kind, in or out of the company. She would rather have a meal with her husband, read a book that is not related to her cases, or being with the friends in her own circle. Does that make her a Scrooge? No. She is very outgoing although not the same kind of outgoing preferred by the male attorneys in the firm. She does not frowned on other people's way and she does not wish to be frowned upon for her way. She is a good attorney who is respected by judges, colleagues, and clients. In her standards, that is worth a lot more than being seen as the life of the party.
You might want to leave your way of thinking momentarily and trying to look at life from other people's perspective before labeling them in unflattering terms.
Agree. Supermarkets and stores are the easiest place where instant connections are formed. It happens everywhere and it happens all the time. Never once in my life had I seen anyone being mildly surprised, let alone "shocked", when approached by other shoppers especially when the remarks were about the items in the shopping cart.
Guess it depends upon your location and the type of people who live in your area whether or not they are open to being approached with an off-hand comment. My area appears to be on the snooty side! Although one day in Walmart a woman did follow me around the store, suggesting I go to Big Lots to shop. She got some dirty looks from employees. I think maybe she had a mental problem...
Last edited by staywarm2; 01-11-2012 at 07:51 PM..
Reason: addition
one day in Walmart a woman did follow me around the store, suggesting I go to Big Lots to shop. She got some dirty looks from employees. I think maybe she had a mental problem...
Thanks for the laugh.
You are correct about the location. We lived in a small town in coastal CT for three months and not one person in any store cared to greet us the entire time. We could not stand the indifference and had to move. But everywhere in Southern CA, from the richest to the poorest area, people are very ready to talk to strangers. Even while in the cars and being stuck in traffic. The same with the South and Southwest region.
Last edited by Ol' Wanderer; 01-11-2012 at 08:05 PM..
Most of my small circle of friends are still working and plan to do so for several more years. Then on weekends they have to catch up with housework, shopping, and their own families. My sister in Maryland (works PT) and her retired husband spent the holidays alone as their kids are scattered wide; she bitterly resents this after all she's done for them, etc. So there's some degree of loneliness no matter what.
I know that 55+communities offer a lot of social interaction, but from trying out different churches with predominantly older folks as members, and other experience, I find that older folks are set in their ways (generally not up for trying new things), extremely judgmental, prefer to go to casinos more than anything else, and stick like glue to their spouses whether they like them or not. Wanting to still feel young (even though I don't look it), and even though I try to reach out to people my age, I tend to get depressed around them (i.e., is this what I'm going to end up like? ).
So spend some time around the 55+ communities before you buy in. The ones in the Southwest and West Coast are probably those who don't have old-minded individuals (??) You will probably get a much different feel in each one, and that could depend on the kinds of activities offered.
It seems like people who would go to all the trouble to relocate to a 55+, which is based on having lots of activities, would attract people who are not so set in their ways. Relocating at retirement age and older does take some adventure in the soul. But I could be very wrong... It's hard to find out much about the residents. Sales people in them won't even tell you the demographic. I've gotten, "Del Webb estimates the average age of residents is 62" several times. Sounds rote to me. Before I'd move to one of these, I'd try to visit several times and stay, etc. But you never know. I had visited my daughter in the city where I presently live umpteen times before we moved here and had no clue people were actually so unfriendly.
Funny, in the Work and Employment forum, there was a guy done a thread about how much of a "loner" he is at work and how he has that "leave me alone" type attitude as well. Some repliers told him, sarcastically, "you must be a great Team Player if you are that way!".
My wife is somewhat this "loner" way at work, but she is some 20 to 30 years older than her co-workers. She also just doesn't talk much. Now, at my wife's one job, the staff would go out for Happy Hour on Friday's after work and invited her. She told them, "I will call my husband and have him meet me there." Unfortunately, the co-workers only wanted it to be them, so she declined in going. We did, however, go to a couple of co-worker birthday parties at a Sports Bar and that was fun.
As for me, I was the real "outgoing" type at work and would sometimes talk about some personal non-job related stuff to my Supervisor/Director.
When I used the word "Scrooge's", I was being sarcastic/funny......a personality trait that some don't like, but......."oh well!". "Unflattering term", He**, I've had worse said about me!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ol' Wanderer
There is nothing Scrooge-y about people who do not want to socialize with their co-workers after working hours. There are people who do not wish to have their personal lives and professional lives mixed. There are people who strongly believe their hours away from the offices are their own, especially when they have already given a good chunk of their every day to the company or the clients. There are people who do not care to play the game of networking in order to get advance, and they do not need to be part of the office crowd to be liked or accepted. If they do not belittle your jester-like standards, you might want to reciprocate by respecting their more serious standards.
My daughter (mid 30s) is one of three female attorneys in a medium-size law firm. The firm schedules regular functions -- golf, touch football, softball, hockey, boxing matches (not between the employees, but professional boxing matches), cocktail fests at a club, etc. My daughter does not drink, is clueless about all sports except marathon sports, and abhors violence in all forms. After 50+ hours in the office and a dozen more with the work she takes home, she does not care to attend parties of any kind, in or out of the company. She would rather have a meal with her husband, read a book that is not related to her cases, or being with the friends in her own circle. Does that make her a Scrooge? No. She is very outgoing although not the same kind of outgoing preferred by the male attorneys in the firm. She does not frowned on other people's way and she does not wish to be frowned upon for her way. She is a good attorney who is respected by judges, colleagues, and clients. In her standards, that is worth a lot more than being seen as the life of the party.
You might want to leave your way of thinking momentarily and trying to look at life from other people's perspective before labeling them in unflattering terms.
Funny, in the Work and Employment forum, there was a guy done a thread about how much of a "loner" he is at work and how he has that "leave me alone" type attitude as well. Some repliers told him, sarcastically, "you must be a great Team Player if you are that way!".
My wife is somewhat this "loner" way at work, but she is some 20 to 30 years older than her co-workers. She also just doesn't talk much. Now, at my wife's one job, the staff would go out for Happy Hour on Friday's after work and invited her. She told them, "I will call my husband and have him meet me there." Unfortunately, the co-workers only wanted it to be them, so she declined in going. We did, however, go to a couple of co-worker birthday parties at a Sports Bar and that was fun.
As for me, I was the real "outgoing" type at work and would sometimes talk about some personal non-job related stuff to my Supervisor/Director.
When I used the word "Scrooge's", I was being sarcastic/funny......a personality trait that some don't like, but......."oh well!". "Unflattering term", He**, I've had worse said about me!!
Once again, very defensive. I have somewhat of a twisted sense of humor but I also know when to reel it in. It depends on the audience and there's no percentage in being an annoyance to others, even when it's who you may think you really are and you find yourself funny regardless of how others may view and receive you.. Finding humor in yourself when others don't is not an attractive or enviable trait.
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Depends on your location
Although one day in Walmart a woman did follow me around the store, suggesting I go to Big Lots to shop. She got some dirty looks from employees. I think maybe she had a mental problem...
). 
