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Old 03-08-2012, 03:05 PM
 
9,471 posts, read 9,339,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caladium View Post
This is why book reviews are interesting. Different people can have very different takes.

I thought the author became more generous toward the Villages by the end of the book, but overall I continued to have the impression that the author wrote the book with the intention of doing a little bashing, and yes I do think he was resentful of his former neighbors who had moved there. Or maybe he just wrote the book because exposes are trendy and unfortunately overdid it a little. Or maybe I just don't care for that trend in writing. To me it came across as mean spirited rather than objective.

It may just be a reaction to a publishing trend. I'm not big on exposes in general, and in this one I thought the author was needlessly cruel at times. Consider the treatment of the lesbian softball player. She was just minding her own business, but the author was looking for a retired lesbian so he could add a little spice to his book, and this poor woman made the mistake of talking to him when he approached her after a game. She tried to answer his questions discreetly, and was being deliberately vague about whether or not she was a lesbian because her sex life was a private matter for her. Then she had the misfortune of having her girl friend walk up during the conversation, which allowed the author to make the conclusions he wanted to make. She was very clear with the author that she wanted to keep her sex life private, so what does this guy do? He makes a point of disregarding her request and publishes the conversation, including names, so that all their neighbors, who are sure to read this book, now know something the couple wanted to keep private.

"Outing" someone who doesn't want to be outed is not good journalism to me, that's being a jerk. My opinion, of course.

The book did make me want to visit the community though and see the place for myself. It's too far from the ocean for us to live there, but it does sound like an interesting place
I feel certain the author used false names (unless the people gave him permission to use their names, which I doubt). Who would open themselves up to a liability lawsuit for no good reason? (Well, maybe Rush Limbaugh would, LOL.)

The Villages is interesting--I've been there. I have several friends who live there and love it. I'm with you, though, I'd rather be closer to the ocean. And I know inland FL can be VERY hot in the summer--no breeze.
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Old 10-23-2012, 09:18 AM
 
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Default Friends at age 65+

Quote:
Originally Posted by catsy girl View Post
i've also thought that a heterogenous "planned community" might be preferable to an age- segregated one. i don't care so much about planned activities- perhaps a book discussion group, group that meets occasionally for lunch etc.- but would be interested in a community where all maintenance is taken care of and where the community is located within walking distance to some shops, restaurants, grocery stores, and libraries. there are a few condo communities similar to this plan but usually in an urban setting, and as one would expect, not inexpensive.

a friend of mine, age 68, who had been investigating ccrcs and other possibilities, finally decided to purchase a condo in an urban setting, with a concierge, near all the ammenities described above, and with nearby food stores that make home deliveries. she is also near hospitals, cultural venues, and public transportation. i don't know the cost of the condo or condo fees but considering my knowledge of the location, my guess for purchase would be minimum of $500000- $650000.

this kind of arrangement- not this specific location- appeals to me, and i'm interested in seeing how this works for her over time. she is hoping to remain here with the support of the services described for as long as possible, maybe never needing to enter an assisted living facility, if she remains cognitively able to make decisions and able financially to buy services. she is alone and feels that she needs to be in a situation that provides some insulation for her as she ages, without entering a "retirement" facility. i would like to consider a similar arrangement although i don't have the financial resources that she has. i have looked at a few less luxurious settings that offer similar services to residents and it is something i might consider in the next few years.

catsy girl
This sounds very convenient, but the main thing that is missing in this scenario is FRIENDS. Unless this person already has lots of friends, she may not make any new ones in this setting.

The advantage of 55+ is that there are plenty of activities and classes where a person can interact with people in their age group and hopefully make new friends to enjoy at this time of their lives.
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Old 10-23-2012, 12:39 PM
 
Location: delaware
698 posts, read 1,049,283 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
This sounds very convenient, but the main thing that is missing in this scenario is FRIENDS. Unless this person already has lots of friends, she may not make any new ones in this setting.

The advantage of 55+ is that there are plenty of activities and classes where a person can interact with people in their age group and hopefully make new friends to enjoy at this time of their lives.

my friend has been in her new condo for 6 months now, and feels it is a good move for her. the condo association sponsors social gatherings frequently- wine and cheese get togethers, museum trips or trips to local theatres, friday night pot-luck- and she has met some new residents in this way. she has maintained some friends from her former neighborhood, where she lived for 16 years.

however, i think it is realistic to consider that some people intrinsically are introverts and some people are more loner than social, and therefore no matter where they live, probably work and solitary pursuits will be the priority in their life. in my friend's case, she is an artist who spends a good portion of her time painting, which is her choice. she fully concedes that it is important and healthy to have social interation, but it will never come easily to her; it will always have to be invented. i can relate to some extent although i am more of an extrovert, especialy when need be, than is she.

i do not think that living among people who are of the same age cohort means you will necessarily have anything in common with them. so, although i think i'd find aquaintances- people to go out to dinner with, go to a movie with- in a 55+ community, i doubt that being there would lead to meaningful friendships. this kind of community feels contrived to me, although it might be a great match for someone else. personally, i'm interested in relationships of some depth, richness, and they are difficult to find anywhere. i don't need to have someone to accompany me to dinner or a movie; if the relationship is a generally superficial one having a companion/friend is meaningless. i think this was my friend's thinking also when she moved to the condo development where she is now.

catsy girl
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Old 10-24-2012, 01:34 AM
 
11,181 posts, read 10,495,811 times
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I enjoyed Leisureville, found it entertaining and informative.

The 'entertaining' factor: I don't doubt for a nano-second that Captain Midnight and his harem are real enough. I've seen plenty such behavior in small-town assisted living centers. Blechman wasn't at all judgmental about these folks, he just related what he saw and heard.

The 'informative' factor: I also don't doubt the Village developers are economic bullies who are creating political mayhem. County politics are too easily manipulated. IMO Blechman did a good thing by turning over that rock and exposing the bugs.

Mostly I enjoyed the book because Blechman's a good writer who tells a hoot of a story. I take everything I read with a grain of salt.
I've no idea and don't really care about the status of the friendship between him and Dave/Betsy, that's their business. Certainly they knew he's a journalist and that he'd be writing the book when they invited him down. From what I can tell about Blechman, via articles and interviews, he seems like a congenial enough guy. I wouldn't mind having him as a house guest. Although I don't live in an age-restricted community, I'd love to read his take on my decorating and my neighbors!
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Old 10-24-2012, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Near a river
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A Place Called Canterbury will probably become a movie before long. Now that the boomers are entering the latter years, there will probably be a lot of novels and movies for our "age group."
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Old 10-28-2012, 01:52 PM
 
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Default A Place Called Canterbury

Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
A Place Called Canterbury will probably become a movie before long. Now that the boomers are entering the latter years, there will probably be a lot of novels and movies for our "age group."
I read part of that book but found it a real downer. Maybe the story eventually picked up.
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Old 10-28-2012, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Cody, WY
10,420 posts, read 14,553,508 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
A Place Called Canterbury will probably become a movie before long. Now that the boomers are entering the latter years, there will probably be a lot of novels and movies for our "age group."
Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
I read part of that book but found it a real downer. Maybe the story eventually picked up.
It's gotten good customer reviews but note that it's available at cheap prices which doesn't say good things about it. The number of used copies indicates that people do not keep it. It seems to be about old age in a figurative prison.

Heaven help us if the movie has nude scenes.

A Place Called Canterbury: Tales of the New Old Age in America: Dudley Clendinen: 9780143115304: Amazon.com: Books
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Old 10-28-2012, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,930,659 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staywarm2 View Post
I read part of that book but found it a real downer. Maybe the story eventually picked up.
No, not really. The intro is the most informative part, the rest I'm finding out is depressing. So no movie probably.
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Old 10-28-2012, 06:47 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,987 times
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I don't know if you are already in Florida, but having spend 27 years there I will have to tell you that those areas you mentioned are some of the HOTTEST areas of the state and the summers are brutal. And RAINY!! Thunder and lightening are the norm and you really need to think if weather issues such as these will impact your life. And now, I am LOVING living in North Carolina!!
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