U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-18-2012, 02:36 AM
 
Location: Tennessee/Michigan
28,210 posts, read 47,618,622 times
Reputation: 19723

Advertisements

NEW HAVEN, Conn. -- Peter Kantorowski wanted his 98-year-old mother to move into a nursing home or live with him.

She wouldn't go; she didn't want to leave her home of nearly 60 years.

Finally, Kantorowski went to court -- and served his mother with an eviction notice shortly before her 98th birthday in December.

Son sues to evict 98-year-old mom: He says she needs help; she says no | Detroit Free Press | freep.com (http://www.freep.com/article/20120218/NEWS07/202180339/Son-sues-to-evict-98-year-old-mom?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE - broken link)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-18-2012, 05:50 AM
 
Location: Ohio
15,164 posts, read 13,429,410 times
Reputation: 20595
What a disgusting thing to do. He hasn't even been to see her for 8 months....how would he know how she is doing?

The younger son who visits her everyday and the authorities think she is OK to live as she is, in the home she loves.

IMO, the little prick wants to sell the house....he wants $$$....to hell with his mother's happines.

I hope he gets his ass kicked in court.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 05:54 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,487,261 times
Reputation: 29071
I can sympathize with both sides to a degree; certainly to the mother who wishes to stay in the home she and her late husband built as well as to the son who may well be reasonably concerned about her welfare.

My wife's mother "over-stayed" her time in her home out of stubbornness and was within months of running our of money because she was paying for 24/7 home care. My wife, her only child, tried for several years to get her to agree to go into assisted living but she wouldn't have it. Thankfully, she died before all her assets were depleted which averted a potential crisis that would have taken all her monthly income and may well have fallen to us to supplement it to assure decent placement.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 09:40 AM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,943,432 times
Reputation: 18050
I too can relate as my mother- in-law took some convincing to live last days with us.News story often do not realte the full circumstances :IMO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,125 posts, read 9,083,586 times
Reputation: 11545
Not sure we should judge this son so harshly.
I went through the same thing with my Mom who stayed in her home for 60 years. She was NOT going to leave it for anything. At 101, the IL Dept of Aging told me I had to do something to get her either a live in or full time care. It was a good thing. I was able to convince her to move, because if not, I was going to suffer the consequences. At 98 this lady might be ok for a while, but its not going to last. The son is thinking ahead. Something I did not do. Our move for Mom was done in 3 short days. Very hard on her. Thankfully she is adjusting to assisted living and I can relax (a little.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 09:50 AM
Status: "Dow hits new high - over 27,000!" (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Suburban Dallas
46,861 posts, read 37,036,075 times
Reputation: 28343
Ultimately, the mother will have to be around others in another environment because she can't live in that home forever, especially due to the fact that she lived alone. Granted, it was drastic on the part of her son, but I actually think he did the right thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 11:22 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,172,097 times
Reputation: 22373
Why didn't someone offer her in-home help? I know why. B/c it is expensive and if she has liquidated her assets, son can just stick her in a nursing home and medicaid will pay, whereas someone else would have to ante up some cash for in-home help.

Note to self: do not sign deed over to heirs as life estate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,978,143 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post

Note to self: do not sign deed over to heirs as life estate.
This is ALWAYS warned against. One wonders under what circumstances the woman signed over her deed to (just one) son.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 05:11 PM
 
15,149 posts, read 19,763,215 times
Reputation: 21329
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
This is ALWAYS warned against. One wonders under what circumstances the woman signed over her deed to (just one) son.


I read, on another site, that she deeded the house to a trust, retaining a life estate. After her death, the house was supposed to go to both sons 50/50. As trustee of that trust, however, Peter then deeded the house over to a trust of which he and his wife are trustees, giving him ownership of the house.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/02/17...ar-old-mother/

Last edited by TFW46; 02-18-2012 at 05:20 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-18-2012, 06:32 PM
 
4,079 posts, read 6,419,864 times
Reputation: 4179
The relationship of parent child is not what it used to be. All I hear of is heart ache stories filled with disappointment and dismay of children mistreating senior parents. A fellow I retired with is now a full time baby sitter to his grandchild. He planned to fish, hunt, and trap but all he seems to be doing is changing diapers. A friend allowed his two adult children to move in with him. Both work but contribute little to the cost of the home. He also has his daughters son living with him, (a bum who has never held a job), at age 25. These children and grandchildren have taken over his home but he still pays the bills. Most recently they have even taken control of his internet and phone. Another retiree and her husband I know sold everything and moved to a new location to be closer to their children and grandchildren. After a year or so their children packed up and moved across the country.
Today's children feel no obligation to their parents. Most tend to exploit them seeking only to maximize their bounty when the parent passes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top