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Old 05-03-2012, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Newport, NC
955 posts, read 4,080,399 times
Reputation: 724

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
"How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free" by Ernie Zelinski. A great book with so many ideas. If you did even half of it, you would never ever be bored.
I recomend this book to everyone I know who is about to retire or who has already retired. I've read it myself about 5 or 6 times already, each time I pick up a little something new. My list of activities, projects... is about 300 right now and i've set priorities for all of them.
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Old 05-03-2012, 11:30 AM
 
1,959 posts, read 3,094,818 times
Reputation: 6146
Quote:
Originally Posted by slyfox2 View Post
What is a local burlesque group?
Burlesque: precusor of stripping - actual dancing/performance with quite a bit of clothing on, perhaps taking off a bit of it, using large feather fans, that sort of thing. Requires TALENT.

Amazingly enough, a group of ladies formed a group here locally and have become very successful, giving shows and charging admission. They are packed every time! It is for adults only but is not X rated. Just great fun and great music and dancing.
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Old 05-04-2012, 08:48 AM
 
31,680 posts, read 40,970,152 times
Reputation: 14424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aqua Blue View Post
Much much more bored when working than I ever have been in retirement!
Yup, when working I felt I needed to be doing something in my free time. Now I understand the nature of freedom.
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Old 06-15-2013, 05:24 PM
 
1 posts, read 917 times
Reputation: 20
Default Retired and a widow

Sounds like everyone here is married. Having another person in retirement surely helps. I am a widow. I have joined and done things I never would have done before, but the joy I hear in your replies is missing for me, even though I have put myself "out there," in order not to be isolated. I did have a great part-time job for 7 years after husband died, but now I am at loose ends. I like diversity, a job, writing (which I do), some groups, working on house, etc. The lack of the job, which filled some of the worse times--weekends and nights--makes it hard to gain some even keel again and feel like I can go on. I hear enthusiasm and joy in your voices. It's the joy that is missing for me so much of the time, no matter what I am engaging in. Anyone else in this position?

Thanks.
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Old 06-15-2013, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 20,869,471 times
Reputation: 32530
Quote:
Originally Posted by walldc View Post
Sounds like everyone here is married. Having another person in retirement surely helps. I am a widow. I have joined and done things I never would have done before, but the joy I hear in your replies is missing for me, even though I have put myself "out there," in order not to be isolated. I did have a great part-time job for 7 years after husband died, but now I am at loose ends. I like diversity, a job, writing (which I do), some groups, working on house, etc. The lack of the job, which filled some of the worse times--weekends and nights--makes it hard to gain some even keel again and feel like I can go on. I hear enthusiasm and joy in your voices. It's the joy that is missing for me so much of the time, no matter what I am engaging in. Anyone else in this position?

Thanks.
Seven years is a long time, but I would suggest that you may still experience healing as time goes by. I was 36 when my ex-wife left, and it took over ten years before I stopped thinking of her every single day. I thought I would never experience joy again, but I did. The amount of time required varies by an incredible factor.

I would say also, for what it's worth, please keep on being active and doing things. Think of how much more joyless you would be just sitting at home.
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Old 06-15-2013, 08:12 PM
 
496 posts, read 568,078 times
Reputation: 2930
We are both 70. DH has developed dementia. He is unable to do anything....no golf, no hobby, no travel, no socializing. The highlight of the day for him is going to the grocery store with me. We have many years ahead of us. Just moved to be closer to son and have bought a townhouse. No gardening (which I love). I cannot take care of him and a house. We did not wait to travel and have fun. We have had a great life together but life is different now. I hope to find a care taker once a week and start living again by volunteering at the local school or leading birding hikes. Always have a plan for a fun activity. That's how I get through each day.
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Old 06-15-2013, 08:48 PM
 
48,505 posts, read 96,675,147 times
Reputation: 18304
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolcin View Post
My husband said he was going to retire. I was working but said that if you are going to retire ...so am I. We both retired on the same day.

Now what do you do?

I have my passion and hobby of photography. Running is also a passion of mine.

After 2 years it seems that boredom is setting in...at least on his part. He works out and takes care of the lawn but that's about it.

How do wives deal with their husbands boredom? I've always heard that the wives can't stand it when the husband retires and hangs around all day...getting into their space...


What do you think?
What did he do other than what is listed and work before. You do not even do anything together? Wife and I both worked and when she retied after me we actually increased on common interest in life.
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Old 06-16-2013, 06:53 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
1,089 posts, read 1,418,687 times
Reputation: 1782
Bored??? Work for me was 8 hrs. of hanging out with my friends, that I just happened to get paid for.

I think the smart thing to do is to marry your best friend and both of you keep busy with interests. Golf, bikes, swimming and travel. Just sitting around the house would be difficult.
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Old 06-17-2013, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
27,798 posts, read 32,330,602 times
Reputation: 14611
Don't let retirement stress marriage: Plan to be busy

a story of a man who retired and went home to spend his days with his wife. It didn't take long for him to become a major intrusion in his wife's world.
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Old 06-18-2013, 12:30 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,660 posts, read 57,778,624 times
Reputation: 46126
Quote:
Originally Posted by [U
Lastfire;30040513]We [/u]are both 70. DH has developed dementia. He is unable to do anything....no golf, no hobby, no travel, no socializing. ... Always have a plan for a fun activity. That's how I get through each day.
Hope you find someone to give you respite breaks.

One must make lemonade out of lemons as we trod the path of life, and deal with curve balls.

Plans are often curtailed, so best to always keep this in mind. "Always have a plan for a fun activity. " As we age and go through challenges, 'Fun" takes on a different meaning.
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