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Old 05-21-2012, 03:19 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,088,329 times
Reputation: 73913

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Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
One of my patients is an end stage ALS victim and his wife is learning the basics of my job so she can take him home on a ventilator. I see the love there between them and I admire her courage. Her husband will be leaving her in a few months. I wonder if it isn't a mistake to make someone the center of your universe?
I have had the same thoughts since my dog just died last week. About being careful about loving someone so much or being so attached.
But honestly, if you don't do it, you'll never know half the joy.
And you don't ever want to regret not spending more time with someone, because you never know which day will be your last.
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Old 05-21-2012, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,907,575 times
Reputation: 15773
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I have had the same thoughts since my dog just died last week. About being careful about loving someone so much or being so attached.
But honestly, if you don't do it, you'll never know half the joy.
And you don't ever want to regret not spending more time with someone, because you never know which day will be your last.
Or your loved one's last.

I'm still grieving the old girl dog I lost two years ago. And of course, dear family members I did not spend enough time with.
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Old 05-21-2012, 08:11 AM
 
Location: delaware
698 posts, read 1,047,907 times
Reputation: 2438
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
One of my patients is an end stage ALS victim and his wife is learning the basics of my job so she can take him home on a ventilator. I see the love there between them and I admire her courage. Her husband will be leaving her in a few months. I wonder if it isn't a mistake to make someone the center of your universe?

i still can become very sad when i think about animals i lost twenty or more years ago. but, they added immeasurably to my life, and i would not have wanted to miss having them a part of my life, even for a short time.

i don't expect to ever stop missing my husband who was a part of my life for fifty years, and to whom i was married for thirty six. we were the center of each others' lives for most of our life. we grew up together, had countless shared memories, and now, even though i have few people to share those memories with, am very grateful that we had the time together that we did.

i agree with the person who said that grief is the price we pay for loving. at this point in my life, i'm still willing to pay that price.


catsy girl
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Old 05-21-2012, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,572 posts, read 8,984,328 times
Reputation: 17937
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
The longtime, strenuous situation with my mother and another close relative kicked my marriage over the edge. The stress was too much. Now that they are gone or resolved, we are getting along just fine (more or less, but much more). We got married at 19 and 20 so it's nice to know each other out of the context of all the previous pressures. He's a fantastic cook, and I no longer like preparing meals that much (other than the basics). And we both love music and art and gardening, and have a gajillion year history together so we can still argue once in a while and be okay. He reminds me of some of the male posters here, lol—kind of stubborn and stuck in his ways (and don't mess with him when he's concentrating on something, and don't throw too much at him at one time [not dishes]). We may get remarried when we hit 70, just for old time's sake. (:
Too cute - I want an invitation to the wedding
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Old 05-21-2012, 01:54 PM
 
8,238 posts, read 6,536,048 times
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NewEnglandGirl, I thought you had a date a couple of weeks ago with a man aged 65 (I remember you mentioning it) So as you say above your ex-husband is also in the picture of your life too along with the random date with someone else? Lucky woman!
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Old 05-21-2012, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,907,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
NewEnglandGirl, I thought you had a date a couple of weeks ago with a man aged 65 (I remember you mentioning it) So as you say above your ex-husband is also in the picture of your life too along with the random date with someone else? Lucky woman!
It was a date some months back with an old male friend. D-ex is also in the picture, more so now. I will never remarry. I'm more popular now than when I was young, lol. Must be that I color my hair, everyone seems to like it, again lol.

My point is that many couples, including those that have actually split, may find their way back to each other because the deep stresses that drove them apart may have resolved. There may be much worth salvaging, now that the reasons for splitting are over. I have several female friends who left their spouses in their 30s and 40s for such mundane reasons as their spouses leaving their socks on the floor, or arguing about how to raise the kids, etc. These women are growing older alone, and may now be regretting those splits for such reasons. I know I am a much, much easier person to live with now that all the stresses of terrible work loads and working hours, along with unresolvable problems with a parent, are gone.
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Old 05-21-2012, 04:10 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,328,288 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
My point is that many couples, including those that have actually split, may find their way back to each other because the deep stresses that drove them apart may have resolved. There may be much worth salvaging, now that the reasons for splitting are over. I have several female friends who left their spouses in their 30s and 40s for such mundane reasons as their spouses leaving their socks on the floor, or arguing about how to raise the kids, etc. These women are growing older alone, and may now be regretting those splits for such reasons. I know I am a much, much easier person to live with now that all the stresses of terrible work loads and working hours, along with unresolvable problems with a parent, are gone.
I can't begin to imagine it. There were reasons i divorced her 18 years ago and her plunge into dementia aside, I would never entertain thoughts of getting together again. The very idea gives me the shivers.

But for those who can and do, best wishes.
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Old 05-21-2012, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,907,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
I can't begin to imagine it. There were reasons i divorced her 18 years ago and her plunge into dementia aside, I would never entertain thoughts of getting together again. The very idea gives me the shivers.

But for those who can and do, best wishes.
With all the memory problems going on with seniors, even against their determinations many may find themselves dating former spouses they have no recollection of.
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Old 05-21-2012, 04:57 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,328,288 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
With all the memory problems going on with seniors, even against their determinations many may find themselves dating former spouses they have no recollection of.
Shoot me first!
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Old 05-21-2012, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,907,575 times
Reputation: 15773
I'm having a hard time holding grudges because I cannot remember what they were, or who they were against. Everything and everybody is kind of an okay thing. Something must be wrong with me, though it's pleasant on my end.
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