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We have couples living in the same building and spending virtually the entire day together but go home to their individual units to sleep alone at night.
One of my neighbors, a 95 year "young" man, still dates and gets sexually excited (the latter is what he proudly tells me, "No Cialis needed!"). His current steady girlfriend is 89. I witness older seniors - in their 80s and 90s - date all the time. God bless 'em!
I won't comment on the obvious, above...but I find it amusing/charming that his 89 year-old companion is referred to as his "girlfriend". But hey, why not? They say you're only as old as you feel...and if you still have a girlfriend to feel, so much the better.
Some of my older senior neighbors would like to marry again, but their children are opposed. Probably because they think the new husband/wife will dilute the inheritance they're expecting. The objections I'm aware of all seem to be for selfish, child-centric reasons. Not wanting to upset the children the parent goes along. We have couples living in the same building and spending virtually the entire day together but go home to their individual units to sleep alone at night.
Wow. I believe it--but it makes me sad, none the less.
After a 20-year relationship, my gentleman friend passed away last year so I know what it feels like to be a widow, even though we were not married. I always said "Jerry would be my last relationship if anything caused it to end". Well, things change, loneliness, other circumstances, etc. ~ thrust me back in the dating pool after all those years. Nowadays everything is different, with the internet and dating sites. So, when one talks about romance and marriage .... I say "how do you even find someone who is a compatible potential mate"?
Some of my older senior neighbors would like to marry again, but their children are opposed. Probably because they think the new husband/wife will dilute the inheritance they're expecting. The objections I'm aware of all seem to be for selfish, child-centric reasons. Not wanting to upset the children the parent goes along. We have couples living in the same building and spending virtually the entire day together but go home to their individual units to sleep alone at night. Yes, the norms have changed and it's understandable that the older generation has changed right along with the rest of the nation.
I've thought about this and can't blame the kids.
It's not greed.
If I did remarry I would tell the kids to get any lawyer they wanted and I would sign off on not getting any of their mothers belongings other than what we purchased together when married. Would be limited to small stuff maybe a television but nothing of great value.
I would will all my belongings to my children, she would will all of hers to her children. This would keep the peace or at least I would hope it would.
If I did remarry I would tell the kids to get any lawyer they wanted and I would sign off on not getting any of their mothers belongings other than what we purchased together when married. Would be limited to small stuff maybe a television but nothing of great value.
I would will all my belongings to my children, she would will all of hers to her children. This would keep the peace or at least I would hope it would.
I think that in a lot of cases it IS greed. I can understand children wanting some belongings that perhaps they grew up with or those that remind them of their parent(s) but when it comes to things financial, I truly believe that greed motivates many and they resent the fact that a subsequent spouse might end up with it.
We're not going to have a lot when we check out of the net but were we to go together, what there will be from whatever financial instruments are left and the sale of our home will be equally divided among all our children. In terms of belongings, but for a very few specified items designated to individuals, most will be sold at an estate sale with the proceeds going to the estate to be disbursed equally.
If either of us predeceases the other, the remaining spouse will get it all. Upon their death it will be distributed as above.
I'm sure there will be some objections from some of the children as we both became step-parents when we married and the two "families" are anything but blended but that's just too damn bad. It's not their call. It's ours!
Sometimes it is greed, sometimes not. How do you define greed. I define it as wanting or trying to get more than one's share. An asset inheritance represents more than just the financial value; it is a family legacy that probably involved a lot of careful planning and saving, and passing that on to children is a way of expressing love and concern for their adult children's and grandchildren's well being. My mother debated for years whether to pass on whatever she had left to her grown children equally, or more to the grown children who had children of their own (one doesn't), or whether to bypass her own children with whom she had issues, and give directly to her grandchildren. So it can be a matter of expressing love and loyalty, and the recipients, aside from benefitting from the financial aspect, also get through that inheritance the aspect of love, care and loyalty. For a new spouse to get everything on one's death is sometimes seen as neglecting the love and loyalty of the original family that includes the former spouse. The next in line in that case is the newer spouse's children.
Sometimes it is greed, sometimes not. How do you define greed. I define it as wanting or trying to get more than one's share. An asset inheritance represents more than just the financial value; it is a family legacy that probably involved a lot of careful planning and saving, and passing that on to children is a way of expressing love and concern for their adult children's and grandchildren's well being. My mother debated for years whether to pass on whatever she had left to her grown children equally, or more to the grown children who had children of their own (one doesn't), or whether to bypass her own children with whom she had issues, and give directly to her grandchildren. So it can be a matter of expressing love and loyalty, and the recipients, aside from benefitting from the financial aspect, also get through that inheritance the aspect of love, care and loyalty. For a new spouse to get everything on one's death is sometimes seen as neglecting the love and loyalty of the original family that includes the former spouse. The next in line in that case is the newer spouse's children.
My MIL was a saint in her marriage to my FIL. They were married 53 years. The day she passed away, a neighbor woman, 35 years younger than my FIL, started coming around. This is NOT true love but my FIL was so enamored in someone "wanting" to spend time with him (this is what she said). (She had lived down the street for 10 years and never even said hello prior to that day).
Fortunately, my husband's other relatives - they were all equally aghast - and my husband's aunt would come down and stay with him. This has now been going on for almost 8 years. My FIL will be 90 next month and his sister is 91. (She's amazing). (The neighbor woman has had a heart attack and a stroke from what I'm told).
Now, if my FIL moved into a place where he really "met" someone and fell "in love" - totally different but in my neck of the woods - there are too many golddiggers, even at 60 plus.
Our goal is to keep my FIL and his sister leaving in his home for as long as possible. He's happy with that; so is she (her family up north does not permit her to be so independent).
Just read about Celeste Holm, age 95, passing away...
At the end of the article, it stated she was estranged from her 2 sons (most likely born in the 1930's).
In 2004, she had married her 5th husband, 45 years her junior. Their estrangement was over that.
The article claims all her money was spent on fighting that. (Should have just made sure her sons were taken care of).
So sad.
(But 45 years her junior - please!)
He was 42, she was 87.
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Looking for Mr. Right !
Agree with what you say.....
