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Old 03-23-2009, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,975,704 times
Reputation: 15649

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Quote:
Originally Posted by karcon View Post
If you have not seen the documentary "Young at Heart" it is a must. Put it on your list. I watch this and wonder why on earth I am such a whiny little (whatever). It is uplifting, funny, poignant. You will both laugh and cry.

If you watch one of the stars (he may have passed away) of the Young at Heart Chorus singing "Fix You," you will sense, with me, that we're all in this together.....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_n0zvoHlVk&NR=1

 
Old 03-23-2009, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA, USA
84 posts, read 191,424 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisteria View Post
I have made a decision to put my house on the market. ... I will be able to get rid of some cabinets, shelves, tables, etc. I will be loading things onto my porch and they will come on Wednesday to pick them up!! Yippee!
Wisteria ... I've forgotten. Exactly where do you live? I live in such a strange housing market here in Sacramento. My neighbor (single woman turned 60) bought her condo for $220,000 six years ago. Now she can't even get 180,000 for it or find anyone who wants to rent. This doesn't include assessments and homeowners fees. So the feeling here is to stay put if you own and sit out the economy. Maybe prices will bounce back in a few years and she will get closer to what she paid for it.

Quote:
Who knew in 13 years that my energy would go down so far? I didn't. I always thought I'd be the super-high energy person I always was. I can certainly feel the aging process taking hold -- another reason I feel I must try to sell this house this year as opposed to next year, because each year it seems more difficult.
I agree. It's a cruel thing to realize about getting older.

Quote:
I wish I hadn't gotten into this situation (long story I don't feel comfortable sharing right now), but I would never have bought a house this expensive or this remote on my own.
Would it be possible to have one or two women of our age move in with you as renters? Then you'd have help to keep up the property, but you'd all enjoy the home area for a few more years.

Quote:
I AM getting things done, will have some furniture/cabinets/tables moved out Wednesday, and that might make me feel better.
I always feel better when I've removed and gotten rid of a big chunk of my 'stuff'. I'm told that all the clutter people collect can resemble all the clutter you have in your brain. By getting rid of stuff, you are clearing out unneeded emotions in your head so you are able to see more clearly.

Quote:
For me, I would love to have some women whom I have met, in a similar financial situation, who would want to live near each other, or co-own a larger house, so that we can age together easier. I still prefer the southwest/California for the weather.
That would be my preference too. It's also a scary thought about finding people that are compatible. If you got some people to rent from you for a year or so, then you'd know if living somewhere else would work out.

Quote:
I guess the aging process really does speed up as we get older...it is so weird to me. Inside my mind is the same (maybe not for long...), but the physical part is less capable. It is sooooo weird to experience this.
Yes, it's difficult to describe, but everyone around the same age knows what we mean. I wish I'd tried to make this move earlier in my life when I had more energy, but that wouldn't have worked out for me considering how things went.

Quote:
I have a feeling that not many people like myself are on boards like this -- they are probably too busy just surviving. I am sure there are many more out there, they're just not here.
I think we are part of the last generation who got by without being computer literate. Younger people today can't imagine how I got through college without having a computer! I have to tell them that the very first newspaper I worked on still was produced with hot type! We weren't even allowed to bring calculators into class.

I surely didn't expect to find a group of people like this here on City-Data, but I'm glad I have. I've trolled a lot of other forums so I could connect. AARP seemed the best choice, but the people there either disappeared or were part of a couple.

I suppose the way to really find more numbers is to create a page on Facebook (which now is attracting the older crowd) and use Twitter to market the group.

Wisteria, I've been thinking of you because my wisteria blooms are coming out and should be in full bloom by the end of the week. They grow on an arbor that's part of the stairs that lead to the second floor of my condo complex. We've woven the branches to go up and over the roof so they provide some much needed shade on the west side of the building. The are soooo beautiful. :-)

Cheers!
Marganne
 
Old 03-23-2009, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA, USA
84 posts, read 191,424 times
Reputation: 52
Default My Shirley Valentine

Quote:
Originally Posted by karcon View Post
Plantlover; I know what you mean. Hurricanes. In 2004 we had a direct hit by three in six weeks (Charlie, Francis, Jean). Lots of damage but no where near what you went through with Andrew. The big thing now about buying/owning a home in Florida is the hurricane insurance. One big company is leaving Florida and leaving homeowners in limbo. Not good.
Karcon. I can relate. Know you will understand. I was born and raised in the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles. My big awakening, without any warning, was Feb. 9, 1971 when we had a 6.4 earthquake. Swore I was getting out of southern California as quickly as I could. I managed to move north before the Northridge earthquake wreaked its havoc.

Compared to L.A., Sacramento is greener, but it's still high desert so it's very dry in the mountains. Every time I drive north through Oregon and Washington I feel so energized by the moisture and greeness everywhere. Sunshine is nice, but I'm not a big fan of all sunshine all the time. I traded earthquakes for forest fires and a chance of flooding. I think a move north would mean trading forest fires totally by flooding, with a little snow and volcano eruption from time to time.

Quote:
Did you ever see the movie "Shirley Valentine?" Well, I don't want to end up like Shirley's husband (getting older and afraid of change). I want to embrace those changes like Shirl did!
Is the solution that we all meet up in Greece? LOLOL

Cheers!
Marganne
 
Old 03-23-2009, 09:48 PM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,085,352 times
Reputation: 924
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancy thereader View Post
[ I am cold cold cold here in New York. I want to feel the sun for more than three or four months a year. I would like to live in a college town with good transportantion as I hate driving on highways . I'd like other people who are my age to live nearby. Warmth. Sun. Nice people .
Is there no place on earth for me?
I've been in NM one year and spoiled. Yesterday I woke up to gray skies and I didn't want to get out of bed! How quickly I forget daily gray rain turning to showers turning to drizzle and back to showers. So I called a friend and we went for a walk and by the time we were done the sun was out and I felt better. We stopped at the nursery and I bought and planted my ritual rhubarb plant that I always plant when I move. It's spring here--trees are starting to flower and my tiny daffodils are blooming and I see tiny leaves on my rose bush. Yipee. Except now I'm looking at the bare dirt of my backyard and wondering what to do with it.

I sometimes miss water living here--I always imagined myself living by a lake. But the sunny days and mountains make up for it. And I have so many other things and don't have to drive on highways to get to them. I hate driving too and now that the Rail Runner goes to ABQ I can go there to explore without having to drive down.

When I called my mortgage company today to find out where $300 interest I paid at closing was I heard a message asking if I was calling about the government's unstable mortgage program. Anyone know what it is and would it help anyone here?

Anyone do Tai Chi? I would love to find a group that does that. Work really stressed me out today and the movement helps relax me but I didn't get it down from the one class I took. If I don't get a teacher to sponsor me for a ceramic independent study class this summer I might sign up for Tai Chi.
 
Old 03-23-2009, 09:56 PM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,085,352 times
Reputation: 924
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmhere View Post
Karcon. I can relate. Know you will understand. I was born and raised in the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles. My big awakening, without any warning, was Feb. 9, 1971 when we had a 6.4 earthquake. Swore I was getting out of southern California as quickly as I could. I managed to move north before the Northridge earthquake wreaked its havoc.

Compared to L.A., Sacramento is greener, but it's still high desert so it's very dry in the mountains. Every time I drive north through Oregon and Washington I feel so energized by the moisture and greeness everywhere. Sunshine is nice, but I'm not a big fan of all sunshine all the time. I traded earthquakes for forest fires and a chance of flooding. I think a move north would mean trading forest fires totally by flooding, with a little snow and volcano eruption from time to time.



Is the solution that we all meet up in Greece? LOLOL

Cheers!
Marganne
It sounds like you'd like Olympia, WA. I loved Olympia except it's not cheap and I didn't like all that rain. There was only minor flooding one time in the five years I lived there. No volcano eruptions. But there is still a chance of earthquake.

Greece sounds good to me. It'll have to wait until we figure out how to get the housing expenses down.
 
Old 03-23-2009, 10:33 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,581 posts, read 39,952,759 times
Reputation: 23707
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisteria View Post
For me, I would love to have some women whom I have met, in a similar financial situation, who would want to live near each other, or co-own a larger house, so that we can age together easier. ...
I think that forming a national organization of Women Retiring Alone would be a good thing -- it could be a non-profit. Somehow being in my fifties seemed so different. ...
I recently heard of a group of single women who bought a large older home in Bremerton, WA to do this. I'm not sure I can get their contact, but I'll see. One of the coworkers at my internship place taught a class on buying homes together and these gals attended. It sounded like a nice situation.

Go for the non-profit... surely you could get some grants and fund your admin position, as well as help many folks out of this bind. (I'm expecting there are many distressed seniors to keep you busy)

I'm thoughtfully considering your '50's comment...

Maybe it is time to do the 'international sojourn' and burn up some 'Star Alliance' airline mileage. (Before UA goes broke).

I feel I'm really burning daylight at my 'young age', and might just go spend what's left and go on 'state-aid' when I'm in my 60's.
 
Old 03-24-2009, 03:37 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,392,568 times
Reputation: 16283
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisteria View Post
I'm amazed at the changes in me in only the 13 years I have been here. When I moved here, I was 48, now I am 61 -- there is a HUGE difference in the energy and ability of someone in their forties or early fifties than now. I had not realized that. When I first moved to this area, I didn't mind doing all the yard work, raking up redwood needles, stacking wood, painting walls, maintaining a third of an acre of flowers, bushes, trails, etc. NOW, though, it is exhausting. Who knew my carpal tunnel would make it so painful just to lift some logs to heat my house? Or raking needles and the pull on my wrists? Little things that just never, ever occurred to me.
All the stress you are going through right now only further saps your energy. I wish I could say something that could put you more at ease, but, alas, it would only sound hooky. I keep hearing how "people" are getting just plain nuts from all this. Very understandable. If a couple of us were closer we coud zip in and help and you'd be done in a flash. I've been trying to analyze why, in 1 short year my energy level has taken a nose dive - age can't explain everything. It's THIS MESS we are all in. Maybe we've been in it just long enough to start getting use to it (not) or have accepted it (not).

For me, I would love to have some women whom I have met, in a similar financial situation, who would want to live near each other, or co-own a larger house, so that we can age together easier. I still prefer the southwest/California for the weather.

Some women here, I realize, are in better financial shape. I wish I had known so much more about finances when I was younger -- but I didn't. So, now I am trying to play catch-up, but there is so little time.

I hope you realize that many of us that knew enough and had access to 401Ks and such have since lost of bunch of what we saved all these years. So, really, what difference did it make?

To deny my reality would mean I could stay here, but either drop dead at my desk (not my desire), or totally be destitute later. The numbers just don't crunch in my favor.

Look, I can't stand to see anyone in so my distress --------stop worrying ---you will always have a room wherever I am (probably CO) so you will never be destitute!!!!!!!!! I may not be as worried as you are about this but I'm a close second.

The thought of living amongst a bunch of ageing women just scares the livin ---- out of me. I much prefer a mixed crowd - different ages and both male & female - it's just a healthier environment and I think it keeps you younger longer.

I do believe that single women, especially older single women, need a close community because we can be targets. It's funny because I've never felt that way until recently.

My point, Wisteria, is that IF the very worst happens, you won't end up sleeping under some bridge. You might have to come to MN for a short time, but, you'd survive.

You have a good plan - whatever are you going to do when you sell that house and all that stress is gone?!!! We will definitely have to have a get together just to celebrate!!

Everything I say to you I say to myself - afterall - is anyone else up at 4:33 a.m.? I've got my days & nights mixed up. Well, time to take out the trash - it's trash day - how exciting!! Night all!!

Last edited by Umbria; 03-24-2009 at 04:12 AM..
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:32 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,745 posts, read 4,217,509 times
Reputation: 6866
Dancingearth,

Re: mortgage. See Makinghomeaffordable.gov

Quick post cuz I gotta run.
 
Old 03-24-2009, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,975,704 times
Reputation: 15649
Default NEG goes off on the road

With money I shouldn't be spending, tomorrow I take a few days off to see the world....close by in PA, VA, NC.....cannot do Knoxville on this trip, but that hopefully will be in June. I'll post some brief impressions when I get back. I know the SWesters won't be enticed East! How I wish I had experienced the West and SW in earlier yaers...I envy those who feel so at home and relaxed in that environment. It is soooo different to me, though I admit I'm not much of an adventurer. After this trip, if nothing appeals, I may open up to the SW...but it has to be a place in with no water shortages or fires/floods, in town, walkable to things, no daily highway driving, and super affordable. Where in the SW could that be??

This is the trip to decide whether I list the house when I get back. This is more than a huge deal to me...So next week I'll be flooding the forum w my anxst (will keep it brief!)>

Till then,
NEG
 
Old 03-24-2009, 08:01 AM
 
Location: DC Area, for now
3,517 posts, read 12,051,697 times
Reputation: 2141
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
With money I shouldn't be spending, tomorrow I take a few days off to see the world....close by in PA, VA, NC.....cannot do Knoxville on this trip, but that hopefully will be in June. I'll post some brief impressions when I get back. I know the SWesters won't be enticed East! How I wish I had experienced the West and SW in earlier yaers...I envy those who feel so at home and relaxed in that environment. It is soooo different to me, though I admit I'm not much of an adventurer. After this trip, if nothing appeals, I may open up to the SW...but it has to be a place in with no water shortages or fires/floods, in town, walkable to things, no daily highway driving, and super affordable. Where in the SW could that be??

This is the trip to decide whether I list the house when I get back. This is more than a huge deal to me...So next week I'll be flooding the forum w my anxst (will keep it brief!)>

Till then,
NEG
Different things appeal to different people. It wouldn't be good if everyone wanted to live in the same place - way too crowded. I'm glad I got to get to know the east. It is much nicer than the general impression westerners have of it. But every place has its down sides. If it doesn't feel like "home" to you, then it isn't your home. And there is nothing wrong with that.

The SW is dry. There's no getting around that. It has to do with where it is located on the continent and the latitude. It really struck me when we had a really bad drought in the east and people were bemoaning how bad it was. To my western-bred eyes, I still saw lots of green and marveled at what the relativity of the term meant in different places. They really didn't know arid.

No place is immune to floods since almost all towns are located near a waterway of some sort. Some have more risk than others. You just learn how to reduce your risk in whatever the risks of a place are. I'm not terribly afraid of rattlesnakes because I learned how to avoid the risk and appreciate their giving me a fair warning. But I'm not going to stick my hand in a rock covered hole where they are known to live, either.

Enjoy your trip. It should be a pretty time for it.
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