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Old 04-20-2009, 01:03 PM
 
796 posts, read 777,190 times
Reputation: 1964

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Hello everyone. I haven't posted much since my original message because it seemed as though the majority of women were interested in living in the west coast area. I'm in PA and figure I will probably stay east and didn't feel like I would have much to contribute. I still read the posts though because there is some comfort in hearing other women going through the same things I am.

"WonderingWhere" I see you are also in PA and am puzzled when you say it is winter most of the time and little sun. I'm not sure where that could be in PA but if that is how it is in your area I can understand how it could get you down. Right now where I am it is really nice. The trees are beginning to bloom and the flowers are coming out and there are all kinds of colors around - pink, white, yellow, purple. This past weekend was warm with lots of sunshine. The museum nearby is a great place to go for a walk around the grounds. I did that and for a short while life was really peaceful. Wish you could have joined me!

Like most everyone, I am still trying to figure out what I want to do and where I want to be. I'm leaning towards selling my house and getting a low rent apartment. I want to get rid of all my "stuff" and get down to the basics. I would prefer using less money in a rental so I could be free to travel if I wanted. Also, I would like to find somewhere warm to go from about Jan to April -- maybe Florida. Wow, it sounds so simple to do when I put it down into words. I guess for some, the older we get the more set we become in our ways and find it hard to try something new.

Probably my biggest fear is being alone. If you don't have family it is very important to have some true friends. I love the idea of a small community where women can look out for each other yet be able to do their own thing.

I would welcome anyone who would be interested in becoming email friends especially those thinking of making their home somewhere east. I also plan to keep on reading the posts and hope you all find what you are looking for.

 
Old 04-20-2009, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by WonderingWhere View Post
Hi there, New England Girl. I am in central PA (small town separated by mountains from other small towns. Can't decide if I am in the middle of nowhere or the middle of everywhere). At least an hour from any meaningful jobs or shopping, up and down mountains. Gorgeous, yes, lonely much. Your post about being busy all day and nothing getting done....boy, can I relate. Thanks for that.

I know how you feel about the rest, too. It is scary. You are taking positive steps, though, and I just know this forum is making all of us stronger. It is good to be able to see we aren't really alone. Thanks to everyone here, too.

NewEnglandGirl, you asked if anyone else feels they are living on the edge and wondering what to do and how to cope. Count me in on that one. I am kind of stressed but trying to come up with answers, just like you. Honestly, I think almost everyone here is in the same boat, from ......
I love my little house, but I feel intellectually, emotionally, and even physically suffocated......Seems a lot of this angst comes down to money. I don't have any children, only my precious pets. So it doesn't really matter where I go. Only where is the $$$$. Gotta get to making some by myself, as there are no jobs here.........I am 57 and not employed elsewhere. Living off the proceeds of a house sale last year but that has dwindled down to almost nothing. I am a widow and will be delighted if in 2 1/2 years Social Security is still around so that I can collect my husband's as a surviving spouse. Not counting on it, though, so I need to make money Now........I see in a later post that you have listed your house...I wish you the best and will be looking for how that is going. I wanted to reply now, as I have been absent since you posted this...wanted to let you know I appreciate your interest and that I know what you are going through, because you could be me talking. And we really do have a lot to be grateful for. I need to take time to remember the good things. Like how I give thanks for my breakfast every day. Then off to the whirlwind I go........Take real good care, Girl.
Hi WonderingWhere,

I hate to say this, but it is a help for me to know that there are a few others on this thread who are facing the $$ challenges that I am. I've mentioned before that I don't wish this situation on anyone, but just knowing that I'm not alone in this is a comfort.

There's been a flurry of activity on my house. Lots of people showed up for the open house. Several parties have expressed major interest (let's pray they didn't hear the traffic or see the other problems in the property)

The options that I had been looking into in the area have either fallen thru or don't quite hold the appeal they did before I started looking at some factors...like prop taxes, which are very high everywhere here ($3000-$4000 for a house of small size....and climbing or threatening to leap up much higher due to the state being in a budget crisis. Several properties were the right size house (small, one floor) if you can stomach the taxes....but, the yards were way too big. I cannot afford to pay a yard service, so I have to be able to care for the yard myself
Don't want to be sitting on a riding mower all day every summer.

The condo alternative doesn't appeal to me yet...mostly b/c of condo fees (around here, $250/mo. +) on top of high property taxes. So if I get an offer on my house I have to do the costly step of storing my furniture and bribing a landlord to accept pets. Around here, pets in rentals are not usually welcome. I'd probably have to put down a large damage deposit.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm doing the right thing by selling...double sigh... but I really don't know what will happen if I get an acceptable offer. I do know that I couldn't go thru trying to sell this place in another 5 or 6 yrs even. It is so daunting and physically and emotionally demanding for me at this age. Just 10 yrs ago it was a piece of cake....

My mother, who never had much money, never worried about it. "One day at at time," she'd say. Maybe she sort of knew that one of my wealthier siblings would never let her live on the street. Maybe she was just a lot more laid back than me. Maybe I should drink wine and eat pasta and just forget about the future. Worrying is not good for the soul!

Thanks for your good note of encouragement!!

--NewEnglGirl
 
Old 04-20-2009, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by dj10 View Post
Like most everyone, I am still trying to figure out what I want to do and where I want to be. I'm leaning towards selling my house and getting a low rent apartment. I want to get rid of all my "stuff" and get down to the basics. I would prefer using less money in a rental so I could be free to travel if I wanted. Also, I would like to find somewhere warm to go from about Jan to April -- maybe Florida. Wow, it sounds so simple to do when I put it down into words. I guess for some, the older we get the more set we become in our ways and find it hard to try something new. Probably my biggest fear is being alone. If you don't have family it is very important to have some true friends. I love the idea of a small community where women can look out for each other yet be able to do their own thing.

I would welcome anyone who would be interested in becoming email friends especially those thinking of making their home somewhere east. I also plan to keep on reading the posts and hope you all find what you are looking for.
Dear dj10,
Like it or not, for family reasons I have to stay in the east. I wouldn't go south of NC. And PA is not that much cheaper than NE, and certainly no warmer in winter. Simplifying, getting rid of stuff, and maybe even voluntarily doing without a car would be an ideal for me, as there's so much more creative/productive things I'd rather be doing and paying for. I'd be interested in knowing more about your situation...and your profile, so we could compare notes re: the eastern side of the country. Send me a befriend if you'd like!

--NewEnglGirl
 
Old 04-20-2009, 10:54 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
2,172 posts, read 6,888,724 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by lenora View Post
I Now I know y'all think it's not cold in Maryland, but I'm telling you, I'm finding the cold intolerable. So, Knoxville sounds lovely, but it appears to be as cold as Maryland. San Angelo, TX is probably too hot (noticed quite a few days above 100 - but little humidity), etc. etc. I'll probably just wait and see where everyone else retires and follow them.
(Does the group need an elder law attorney? Just kidding...I can't imagine sitting for another state's bar exam.)
Knoxville's cold isn't even close to Maryland's. I lived in D.C. and Prince George's County for most of my life. All my boots and gloves and coats and scarves have been given away or are languishing in the cedar chest.
We will have one or two days in the winter when I need to wear gloves. The only coat I wear is a medium weight Land's End fleece jacket.
I no longer own an ice scraper.
Summers are nicer, too. Not nearly as humid and with a nice afternoon breeze and cool nights.
 
Old 04-21-2009, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Alaska
384 posts, read 877,800 times
Reputation: 186
Wine & pasta - sounds like the best plan yet New Englandgirl... I'll go for it!

I wonder if part of our angst comes from the fact that we have so many choices really. I sometimes feel immobilized by the choices - buy, selll, move, stay, east coast , west coast ....and then I think too much about the consequences of my choices.

mmhere - good info - thanks. Interesting that Montanna is the one state that doesn't seem to have an economic downside. I know someone moving there and she figures she will have 40% more disposable income.
 
Old 04-21-2009, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Winter Park FL
205 posts, read 360,091 times
Reputation: 378
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Hi WonderingWhere,

Maybe I should drink wine and eat pasta and just forget about the future. Worrying is not good for the soul!

Thanks for your good note of encouragement!!

--NewEnglGirl
NEG; Exactly - drink wine and eat pasta! Food from the gods. I'm still sorting things out. Am soon to be "homeless" at the end of June unless I get my act together and decide where I am going to live. Unlike most of you I have been in a rental house for 9 years now (some of you will remember how I got here) and WILL NOT stay here another year! I panic and then I'm like your mother (or Scarlett) I'll worry about that tomorrow, I know things will work out. Oh, I'm not just sitting around in a fog, am proactive on making decisions. Just so many: buy/rent (am working with a realtor now - very good time to buy), stay/leave (think I've decided to stay in this area for now). Am leaving today for a two week sabatical - it's the year anniversary of my mother's passing (I'm now an "only" child) and just need to be away. So, I'm going to drink wine and eat pasta and see the elephant (meaning look for adventure and hopefully great stories), come back refreshed and then get my ass in gear (have already started packing). I have a whole new chapter to start before the end of my story.
 
Old 04-21-2009, 08:47 AM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,086,141 times
Reputation: 924
Quote:
Originally Posted by karcon View Post
NEG; Exactly - drink wine and eat pasta! Food from the gods. I'm still sorting things out. Am soon to be "homeless" at the end of June unless I get my act together and decide where I am going to live. Unlike most of you I have been in a rental house for 9 years now (some of you will remember how I got here) and WILL NOT stay here another year! I panic and then I'm like your mother (or Scarlett) I'll worry about that tomorrow, I know things will work out. Oh, I'm not just sitting around in a fog, am proactive on making decisions. Just so many: buy/rent (am working with a realtor now - very good time to buy), stay/leave (think I've decided to stay in this area for now). Am leaving today for a two week sabatical - it's the year anniversary of my mother's passing (I'm now an "only" child) and just need to be away. So, I'm going to drink wine and eat pasta and see the elephant (meaning look for adventure and hopefully great stories), come back refreshed and then get my ass in gear (have already started packing). I have a whole new chapter to start before the end of my story.
Let me know if you get out this way on your trip to see the elephant and we can meet up!
 
Old 04-21-2009, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Winter Park FL
205 posts, read 360,091 times
Reputation: 378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dancingearth View Post
Let me know if you get out this way on your trip to see the elephant and we can meet up!
Absolutely will do! Adventures are nourishment for the heart, mind and soul!
 
Old 04-21-2009, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,985,208 times
Reputation: 15649
Today I got a decent offer on my house...not my asking price, so I'll do a reasonable counter-offer, but if push comes to shove....I will take the first offer! I am looking at another house near my sister...not such an upscale area, but still nice and much less expensive house. So this is to let you all know that buyers are definitely out there, and there are many who are living in far more expensive areas than us and who will think that our house is a bargain! Everyone in our generation seems to be downsizing in term of space and cost, and all of our houses are "downsizers" compared with someone else's! So I hope things go thru for me, but in real estate you never know. I just wanted to post this though to give everyone hope that our moving ahead with our plans is very possible!!
 
Old 04-21-2009, 06:53 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,396,297 times
Reputation: 16288
Congratulations!! I heard homes sales are up here - both number of sales as well as price so I may rethink when I'll leave here. There have been 3 houses for sale in the last month and all 3 sold within a couple of weeks.

Good going - maybe things are finally starting to look up.
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