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Old 05-15-2008, 10:14 AM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,087,395 times
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Thanks All! I'm already planting trees in the backyard in my mind.

I could use some heat right now. It's been raining for two days and cold. Am I in WA again? It will be another year before I celebrate rain even though we needed it--hasn't rained since I moved here--just snow a few times. I'm going to check out my house at lunch and see how the drainage is.

 
Old 05-15-2008, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Fresno, CA
1,071 posts, read 1,059,527 times
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Congratulations Dancing Earth on your new home! Great that you'll have an indoor space for your kiln. Always fun to plan how you'll decorate and settle into a new home.

I've loved visiting Santa Fe. I'm not a BIG shopper but I found lots of things to love there. If I'd only had someone along with me who could've paid for everything I coveted.

I would be happy to trade you places weatherwise. A little rain here would be great! Unfortunately, if we did that you would have our 100 degree Central California day. Maybe I can just send you about 25 degrees and it would be ideal here.

We've had such a lovely spring here until now. 'Tis not always true. Often we basically go from winter right into summer. If you blink, you miss spring. Sigh! That's one of the reasons I would like to move (at least for summers). That and I would like to have the ocean much closer. Wisteria, I may have to look at those properties near you. I never think of property in your area as being reasonable.

To each of you ladies who have made multiple moves and lived various places, this is something I feel I've missed. Since I was six, I've lived within a 20 mile radius. As a kid, I, like many young people, planned to get the heck out of dodge. Never did I think I would stay with the same employer for 30 years which effectively kept me here. The great thing about hanging in there for all that time was being able to take early retirement with attendant pension. I again planned to move but, as with many of us "Boomers", the care of a parent became a priority. For those of you who've moved multiple times, are you glad to have had this experience? Or would you have liked to have put deeper roots down somewhere?

(My smilies aren't "disabled" but for some reason, I can't get them to work. I feel emotionally impaired without them!!)
 
Old 05-15-2008, 02:51 PM
 
13,329 posts, read 25,590,184 times
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I've moved multiple times, for the kick of it. I was sort of hoping to find "the right place" to make a home, until I realized that that's more of an internal sense.
I do think it's really personally valuable to move at least once, out of choice. You really learn so much of what/who you are outside of your routines, environment, and so on.

For the record, I grew up in south Jersey, went to school briefly in Pittsburgh, moved to Boston, moved to Santa Fe, back to Boston, then to Maine, back to Boston to get an RN so I could be a gypsy, moved back to town and started to learn the "power of staying in one place," went to Haiti (briefly) with Peace Corps, tumbled back to Boston, and started to notice that I keep landing back around Boston.
I decided (age 34) if I couldn't figure out a way to buy a tiny condo, I'd have to move somewhere cheaper. I'd sort of decided on Minneapolis, when I decided that I needed $10K saved to go (1987) and then, $10K could get a down payment on a tiny condo.
Bought said tiny condo, three years later, felt run outta town by rent control laws, crazy neighbors, failed condo association, etc. Bought a rundown 3-room cottage 25 miles away. Said cottage fell apart over eight years, so I bit the bullet and built a new small custom contemporary on the same lot, which has become a true home (although it certainly dictates what kind of living I have to earn). However, at age 55 and in a vested pension plan, I don't see heading out again, although I do obsess about the Mountain West, and try to keep my mind open for possible retirement.
At very least, I hope for the health and money to take serious vacations or summers in the Mountain West.
Thanks for listening. I heartily recommend moving at least once out of choice, preferably to follow some dream you've had. You'll find out what it is, and what it isn't.
When I fled back to Boston from Santa Fe, so many people asked me if I was sorry it didn't work out, and I realized, I always thought I wanted to live there, and now I don't anymore. I consider that a success, plus, you can take some pride in tending to your dreams. Much better to be slapped with reality than to always think, "If I had done X..." I've done X. Don't need to do it anymore
Of course, moving/changing can be costly in many ways. You might lose a good/afforable place to live. Jobs situation might be far less workable. You might dump out of a good and rare pension plan. Meanwhile, people around you who cannot/will not take the same chance are saying, "Go for it!"
I say I've been in the Boston area "on and off" since 1974. I guess that's roots enough.
I do have two elders in south Jersey- father and aunt. My father is always welcome to come up here to live if he wants to, or if need be. At present, he doesn't want to, since where he lives in walkable to many things, and where I live isn't. My aunt lives with husband and grown son across the street. I doubt I'd move far away from the East Coast as long as they're both alive (on the other hand, there's an 80-year-old lady in Montrose, Colorado, who is most dear to me, and has two grown kids nearby for any help).
 
Old 05-15-2008, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,918 posts, read 6,244,494 times
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I agree, Doglover, sometimes it's just the thrill of the chase!

I have to admit, sometimes I wish I had more roots, and on the other hand, I've gotten to experience all kinds of things I never would have done, if I hadn't moved all over. Most were choices. Well, I guess they all were – only some were better than others.

I did a lot of things by the seat of the pants, serendipity, curiosity, and just plain gypsy wandering. I even had my daughter in my forties. The times that I sometimes think I regret having moved so much, I then realize that now that I'm close to retirement, that I'm glad I used my youth to do things that I know now I wouldn't have the energy for.

I always keep in perspective that our ultimate journey is death …. therefore, I have tried to experience and see many new things because I know that all I can take with me are my experiences.

Of course, now I do have that pension (!), but a small one, still a small one is better than none. I've gotten to live in some really nice places. I am not a big consumer, so I never needed the biggest and best, and I always felt grateful for living in beautiful surroundings.

I've gotten to meet so many people, do so many things, and see so much. It is stimulating to try new adventures. I am often grateful that I'm not materialistic, because it's made it easier for me to move and try out new things. The great part about it is that if you don't like it, you can move again. I have traveled through 13 countries, lived in 5 states, traveled through 39 states, and keep exploring.

In some ways, I wish I had more money….it is hard budgeting during a recession…but I also know I can't take it with me. I've had many ups and downs in my life, many sadnesses and sorrows, yet, I've also had some really good highs. I always see life like a heart monitor: if it isn't zipping up and down, then you're not alive. Although I'm not thrilled by the down times, I realize it is a natural balance – thus, we go through ups and downs.

In the end, I would rather have tried many different environments, people, places and things, than not. I know too many people who have never done it, always wondered about it, and some are pretty unhappy. I don't know if there's a perfect state of mind or being or even place – I just know that, as far as we know at this point, we only get this one chance – so, why not relish the joy and excitement of trying new things? It's a huge world out there, and there's so much to explore!

I'm actually not a glass is half full person – I do have my moments – but then again, I have certainly stretched myself beyond what I thought possible – and it has been amazing that I have done as much as I have. And that, I guess, is my legacy – to have pushed myself and survived; to have tried and learned; to have experienced that which I didn't think possible. I might not have all the bucks in the bank, or that big house, or the fancy car, but I have my internal experiences, and that is my wealth.

I have no advice to offer – just go with what you feel, and sometimes your heart will lead you to where you need to be. Life is one big card game – sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you can enjoy playing while you're at it!
 
Old 05-15-2008, 04:36 PM
 
Location: home...finally, home .
8,236 posts, read 18,529,576 times
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I have no advice to offer just go with what you feel, and sometimes your heart will lead you to where you need to be. Life is one big card game sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you can enjoy playing while you're at it!


Nice sentiments , as always, wisteria . You are very wise. .
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Old 05-15-2008, 05:07 PM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,087,395 times
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You've said it eloquently for me Wisteria. I use to tell people I'm the biggest coward I know and also very courageous (because of my fears.) Sometimes I can't believe the things I've done and it works out. I'll think and think about it and then one day shock everyone by doing it. Since I've moved around since I was little, I've wondered what it would like to be rooted in one place but I've learned that home is where I am and what I make of it. There's always something that could be better and lots could be worst. I can't regret the moves I've made because I've had wonderful experiences and know some great people because of it. I imagine myself growing old and sitting in my rocking chair laughing and enjoying my memories. It has given me greater confidence moving to new places where I don't know anyone. My son says the same thing--he was twelve when we moved here and knows he can do it again because of it. There's a sense of freedom knowing that.
 
Old 05-15-2008, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,918 posts, read 6,244,494 times
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Quote:
DancingEarth: I use to tell people I'm the biggest coward I know and also very courageous (because of my fears.) Sometimes I can't believe the things I've done and it works out. I'll think and think about it and then one day shock everyone by doing it. Since I've moved around since I was little, I've wondered what it would like to be rooted in one place but I've learned that home is where I am and what I make of it. There's always something that could be better and lots could be worst. I can't regret the moves I've made because I've had wonderful experiences and know some great people because of it. I imagine myself growing old and sitting in my rocking chair laughing and enjoying my memories. It has given me greater confidence moving to new places where I don't know anyone.
I think you have hit the proverbial nail on the head. It's about moving beyond your fears of the unknown. I understand that and I tell myself that once I get to a place, it will no longer be unknown -- that anyplace I have been was unknown at one time.

Everyone has fears -- it is part of the human makeup. Once one can overcome their fears of "what if," and become "I did it," then it opens up that world of confidence you talked about. That is a big key: confidence. With confidence also comes great freedom! It is a package deal -- "confidence and freedom" -- and it is a good deal!

When I allowed my daughter to be a foreign exchange student in a country thousands and thousands of miles away, I was worried for her. But her excitement and joy at being independent and experiencing another culture spurred me on. She also had trepidations -- and she came back with a load of confidence -- just like your son, DancingEarth -- she learned that she could do it on her own -- and be happy!

I guess the only difference between someone who does make the moves and someone who doesn't is facing your fears, and looking forward to what is unknown with excitement instead of being paralyzed by fear.

And, amazingly, we often find it works out -- especially if we feel drawn to a place. That to me is the key -- feeling drawn. But that fear factor is still there, however, it dissolves little by little, and suddenly: Boom! Confidence takes its place!

This is a great discussion of how one challenges oneself to make a move in spite of fears and doubts. This is a great group of women who have taken the challenge, and have become winners. Maybe we don't see ourselves as "winners," but to push beyond that which is comfortable and to come out the other side with more than what we started, makes winners.

I am always inspired and amazed at what the human spirit can do -- kudos to you all!!
 
Old 05-15-2008, 09:03 PM
HDL
 
Location: Seek Jesus while He can still be found!
3,141 posts, read 6,024,563 times
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Great thread and I'm still following along:-) Thanks again Wisteria for starting it!!! Please eat some Marianne's Peanut Butter ice cream for me this weekend :-0

~HDL~
 
Old 05-16-2008, 07:38 AM
 
Location: DC Area, for now
3,517 posts, read 12,058,733 times
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I've moved around since I was little too. Each move forced me to adapt, but no, I don't and never did have roots in a place of the kind that people who grew up in one place have. When asked where I'm from, the most real answer is the West since no one place is where. But weirdly, here in MD is where I have lived the longest. 17 years in one house and now my garden soil is fluffy and black and grows veggies effortlessly (especially compared to the red clay I could make pots out of that I started with). But the only reason I am here is the job so I see no reason to stay after I retire.

That Central CA summer heat and drought is why I want to live in retirement in a place with pleasant summers that I can look forward to instead of dreading. That is my driving desire when I am free to choose again. It is possible that I may not like the new place all that much, but I will be free to pick up and move again if that is the case.

When young, I used to feel out of step and alone because I was usually the only kid with experience living in other places. Now, I can't really relate very well to people who only have experience of one place. Whenever someone complains about a feature of the place or the people in it, I invariably think that it isn't unusual at all because I know from personal experience that other places have the same drawbacks. I also know from experience that all places have their good points and bad points (in my opinion, of course).

I will never forget the trepidation I felt when first moving to the east coast. There was a general attitude in the west about how the east coast was nearly uniform city and people were rude and unfriendly. What I found, of course, was that people were just as friendly and unfriendly as they were in CA and there is a lot of open space and farmland. People in this country are more alike than they are different, despite our desires to be unique in one area or another. There are regional differences, but there is also a lot of similarity. It seems to me that there are more differences between people who live in cites compared to rural areas than between the different states.

After my divorce in my mid 30s, I decided it was foolish to wait until I got settled to live and do things I wanted. So I did a bit of self-examination about what I liked and didn't and how I wanted to structure my life. I bought a little place with a bit of land because I wanted to be able to grow anything I wanted and not be limited by space. I also wanted to be able to see the horizon and have good sun exposure. Along the way, I learned how to do all sorts of house repair and remodeling, yard work, tractor fixing, etc. Each task, each problem, has given me confidence that I can do almost anything I set my mind to. I look back to what I thought I could do at age 20 and now at age 53 what I know I can do and the gap is huge. It is a wonderful feeling to know I can do just about anything I want to.

I approach my life and choices as a journey. Destinations are stopping points along the way. If you stop looking ahead, then you stop living. There is always something more to learn, whether it be a place or a skill or an idea. When I die, I hope to leave a number of things not yet done but planned for, but also a ton of things already learned and experienced. It's the journey, not the destination that I seek.

This is a fun thread. While I don't think I'm suited for the living situation discussed, it has been fun finding other independent women and how they have chosen to live.
 
Old 05-16-2008, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,918 posts, read 6,244,494 times
Reputation: 2651
Quote:
HDL: Great thread and I'm still following along:-) Thanks again Wisteria for starting it!!! Please eat some Marianne's Peanut Butter ice cream for me this weekend :-0
A peanut butter ice cream cone is on our agenda for this weekend! Yep, I'll be eating peanut butter ice cream at Marianne's and thinking of YOU, HDL!!

Really, that's the plan -- after I pick my daughter up from work at the Boardwalk, onto Marianne's for a treat of ice cream. I'm already trying to think of the second flavor I want -- I know one must be peanut butter, but I'm also thinking that maybe a chocolate marshmallow might go well -- sort of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup feel to it! Mmmmmmm, Marianne's ice cream! I bet you'll get the vibe when we are there! You know I'd send some to you....but it would just melt....

But I'll be thinking of you! Here's to you, HDL!!!
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