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Old 05-21-2010, 01:04 PM
 
Location: zippidy doo dah
895 posts, read 1,333,110 times
Reputation: 1928

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRosa View Post
Never missed my ex for one sec either, never looked back. But what annoys me, I have an aquaintence or two that love to remind me of that error; and still ask if I ever hear from or think of him. WThay. That was 20 years ago. Gosh people get over it.

Yes, I like my singleness; and after a healthy dating life and dealing with enough childmen, I'm happy to stay all by my loneself. I'm suppose to visit an ex-bow, in south Fl before I head over to Central West Fl to stay with friends for a bit, but, honestly, I'm reconsidering visiting him. He isn't getting the point that I'm most interested in just exploring the beaches in his area and not his anatomy or getting back together. And yes, I still have a healthy appetite, just can't be bothered by outside forces. I honestly don't understand why some people have to have one of them around constantly. I love ya, but ya gotta go home.
this does make me laugh even though i know we have all had pain mixed within - someone used the term "tragicomedy" - i can so relate

It appears there are many of us on this thread who are celebrating the singleness factor. I actually am somewhat a fraud - legally, i am still married but i've been single for a very long time. It surely is a state of mind.

When i put the last "in-house" item in storage on Tuesday and turned the keys over to the owner, the realization that i am actually "free" or "freer" washed over me. I could physically see the release of stress in my life. And the funny thing is that my spouse has not lived in the house for months and yet there was still that connection/that sense of constraint/repression. i left so very long ago mentally and spiritually but the physical closure, it was a necessary componant.

Just letting that spiritual release wash over me in the past few days. Not thinking too hard/not working too hard. Tying up loose ends and allowing myself to just breathe.....i stumbled across a card i had in a box for i don't know how long - it had no meaning to me really before - i picked it up today to file into my "filed things i don't know what i want to do with" and it was amazing how the meaning suddenly became clear and yet had to be discovered.......

from albert camus

"in the midst of winter...
.i discovered there was within me an invincible summer...."

the journey continues.................forever summer ......forever growing

 
Old 05-21-2010, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,994,426 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by triciajeanne View Post
this does make me laugh even though i know we have all had pain mixed within - someone used the term "tragicomedy" - i can so relate

It appears there are many of us on this thread who are celebrating the singleness factor. I actually am somewhat a fraud - legally, i am still married but i've been single for a very long time. It surely is a state of mind.

When i put the last "in-house" item in storage on Tuesday and turned the keys over to the owner, the realization that i am actually "free" or "freer" washed over me. I could physically see the release of stress in my life. And the funny thing is that my spouse has not lived in the house for months and yet there was still that connection/that sense of constraint/repression. i left so very long ago mentally and spiritually but the physical closure, it was a necessary componant.

Just letting that spiritual release wash over me in the past few days. Not thinking too hard/not working too hard. Tying up loose ends and allowing myself to just breathe.....i stumbled across a card i had in a box for i don't know how long - it had no meaning to me really before - i picked it up today to file into my "filed things i don't know what i want to do with" and it was amazing how the meaning suddenly became clear and yet had to be discovered.......

from albert camus

"in the midst of winter...
.i discovered there was within me an invincible summer...."

the journey continues.................forever summer ......forever growing
TJ congrats and blessings on letting go and entering a whole new life! Wow, that has to be so liberating!! Where are you going at this point--to another city or town? We wish you the best and stay on the board!
 
Old 05-21-2010, 04:03 PM
 
Location: not where you are
8,141 posts, read 7,651,133 times
Reputation: 6931
Quote:
Originally Posted by triciajeanne View Post
this does make me laugh even though i know we have all had pain mixed within - someone used the term "tragicomedy" - i can so relate

It appears there are many of us on this thread who are celebrating the singleness factor. I actually am somewhat a fraud - legally, i am still married but i've been single for a very long time. It surely is a state of mind.

When i put the last "in-house" item in storage on Tuesday and turned the keys over to the owner, the realization that i am actually "free" or "freer" washed over me. I could physically see the release of stress in my life. And the funny thing is that my spouse has not lived in the house for months and yet there was still that connection/that sense of constraint/repression. i left so very long ago mentally and spiritually but the physical closure, it was a necessary componant.

Just letting that spiritual release wash over me in the past few days. Not thinking too hard/not working too hard. Tying up loose ends and allowing myself to just breathe.....i stumbled across a card i had in a box for i don't know how long - it had no meaning to me really before - i picked it up today to file into my "filed things i don't know what i want to do with" and it was amazing how the meaning suddenly became clear and yet had to be discovered.......

from albert camus

"in the midst of winter...
.i discovered there was within me an invincible summer...."

the journey continues.................forever summer ......forever growing
What a wonderful quote.


Camus, Ah, brings wonderful memories of one of my favorite reads, "The Stranger"

Tricia, I hope from hear on your days continue to be filled with breaths of freash air. You are not a fraud, I was out of my marriage at least 3 years before I was out of the home and the divorce wasn't official till some 10 years after that. The ex didn't believe in divorce and I didn't want to pay for it; and since I had no plans to ever marry again. At that point, I felt as long as the judge ordered us legally seperated and we'd never have to cross paths again, I let it go for a while. However, for some reason making it official did fill my lungs up with more happy air and put bigger smile on my face. So, we were seperated 10 years, and officially divorced about 10 more since, pretty much done 24 years altogether.

Remember the movie War of the Roses? I remember going to see that and sitting there hearing Mrs Rose say some words while looking at the Mr that resonated so well. I can't remember them exactly now, but something to the effect of When I look at you I want to,,,,,,,. Gosh I really can't remember the rest. LOL. But, I remember the feeling. I do remember feeling that we would either both end up dead or me in jail if the courts didn't intervene. Because, I was ready to snap. Jail for me wasn't an option, I'd rather die than be in such a place.

I make my jokes, I don't wallow in what went on, was it a nightmare, you bet. Did I experience residual after affects, yep; for a while, the man did stalk me at times before the court orders. All I know is I could kiss that shierf and the judge that signed papers to get him out of the house and me on with my life. I didn't know where I was going to get the money to support myself at the time, since I had just gotten laid off from my job. Was rebuilding my life easy, of course not, two sometimes three jobs and then a few years later I took on caring for a sister, whom was nearing death, and her two kids. People meet me and seem to think I've had this carefree life because I don't wear my past experiences like some baddle badge. Believe me, I could tell stories from the past that would make most cringe. And I've never had drug or drinking problems, mental possible . I rarely drink to this day except on special outings, like anyday with an A in it, you know Sunday, mday tday wday and so on. Just kidding, wish I did like drinking. Must be nice to act like an arse and have friends excuse the behavior while you blame it on the alcohol. Unfortunately, sweets are my poison, give me cheese cake, chocolate, cake and or various flavors of ice cream and me luv you long time. Theres whipped cream oozing out of my glutes.




================================================== ========

Onto another subject. Looks like this BP oil spill is going to squash my summer plans. People were so sure the spill wouldn't reach certain shores, now it might even make it up to atlantic coast shores. Yikes. Well, guess I'll be able to save some money for a better tent and other camping gear. Maybe someone's trying to tell me to stay put. Yep, the spill is all about me. My sisters are still looking out. Aren't I special.

Last edited by TRosa; 05-21-2010 at 04:12 PM..
 
Old 05-26-2010, 12:05 AM
 
Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
121 posts, read 253,970 times
Reputation: 386
Hi all, my trip to Skamokaway, Wa was great! I met wonderful people in this lightly populated area on the Columbia River, WA. I found a few homes I liked in the temperate rainforest but no realtors answered my queries. I then headed out to Blairsville, Georgia to look at some homes for sale. I was pre-approved and everything was a go except the cabin I liked was smaller then advertised. I'm still checking out the area (in the Blueridge Mountains). There is a large inventory of nice homes for reasonable prices. I like hiking with my dogs and the area has a lot to offer for a nature loving retiree. No jobs, so unless you buy a B&B, forget it. If you know how to make money on the internet, you're golden! For those of you that don't know, I live in San Diego County, CA and San Diego has the best weather in the US. It's a beautiful city and if you have money, it's the place to be. You can turn your pooch loose on Fiesta Island and let him run to his hearts content on over 500 acres by the bay. There's lots to do, several universities and all the culture you can imagine. Why would I consider leaving you ask? I make pretty good money at my job, I'm often called upon at work to handle complicated tasks involving environmental complience issues. I love what I do. I'm training some co-workers to do what I do. I don't want to work forever! That being said, I want to live in a place that's more laid back, I want 4 + acres of woods with my own well and septic. I want a vegetable garden. I've had them before and know how to make plants grow. I'm paying 10% a year in state income taxes, .875% in sales tax and 1.0% in property tax, based on the price you paid for your home and raised 2% of your property tax paid each year. I'll have a pension when I retire in addition to SS. I could afford to live in my home on my pension if I dump the Direct TV, the gardener, the vacations, the high speed internet, the cell phone...You get my drift. My home is small, very small! I want a bigger house and some woods. I can do that in Union, Murphy, NC, or Fannin County, Georgia. I liked the laid back life style, there's lots of seniors there, not a lot of full time residents though. People were friendly but I missed the PNW old hippie vibe. At least there are artists around to keep the soul fed. Also, the realtors answer you E-mails and there's plenty of inventory, most very affordable. Property taxes are about .66% , sales tax 6%, at 62 you get income tax relief. I'd be in the highest income tax category of 6% until I reached age 62, when I get a tax break on my pension. Winters are mild, a light dusting of snow a couple times during the winter and summers are about 10 degress cooler then Atlanta, Georgia. There's even a hospital in Blairsville. One of the contributers to this thread turned me on to this area, now, are you all coming or what? Yea, I know, the ocean is six hours away, you have to drive ten miles to get your wine at a state liquor store in another county, the local restruants suck, but the people are real nice and friendly, what more do we want?
Fairwinds
 
Old 05-26-2010, 12:23 AM
 
Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
121 posts, read 253,970 times
Reputation: 386
It's me again, I just wanted to add that we all have stories to tell, you don't get to be 50+ years on this planet without having a few battle scars! I've been there, done that, restraining orders, stalkers, breakins, rapes, home invasions! OMG! I don't dwell on the past, it doesn't exist anymore! I live in the present with an eye to the future. The past is for reference, like a library. Life is getting easier now that I'm older. I get to guide younger people onto the "good" path. I don't waste my time on the arrogant, selfish or needy. We each have a great gift to give, the gift of wisdom that comes with age and knowledge. Let's not forget that. We all have experienced pain, hurt and sorrow. It's our time now to share our love and wisdom with those that are receptive to it.
Fairwinds
 
Old 05-26-2010, 01:17 AM
 
2,627 posts, read 4,957,348 times
Reputation: 2225
Fairwinds, I like your attitude. Thank you for the info about the Blairsville area! I google it and have requested more information. It looks beautiful! I would love to live among or near "mountains"!
 
Old 05-26-2010, 04:45 PM
 
Location: not where you are
8,141 posts, read 7,651,133 times
Reputation: 6931
Whatever happened with the community living situation, some of you ladies were talking of forming? I was very intrigued about the subject when l read tidbits of that discussion way back before I moved out here to NC. Since I've recently started back reading the forums, I haven't seen any updates on the subject and wondered what became of that talk.
 
Old 05-26-2010, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Sarasota Florida
1,236 posts, read 3,610,415 times
Reputation: 1230
Quote:
Originally Posted by TRosa View Post
Whatever happened with the community living situation, some of you ladies were talking of forming? I was very intrigued about the subject when l read tidbits of that discussion way back before I moved out here to NC. Since I've recently started back reading the forums, I haven't seen any updates on the subject and wondered what became of that talk.
Well, Wisteria and Nancy already moved into a delightful mobile estates community just blocks from the beach in Santa Cruz. IMHO..... that's the start of a potential community living situation. From what they have said, it seems affordable and the possibilities are there
 
Old 05-26-2010, 09:03 PM
 
Location: not where you are
8,141 posts, read 7,651,133 times
Reputation: 6931
Quote:
Originally Posted by ConeyIsBabe View Post
Well, Wisteria and Nancy already moved into a delightful mobile estates community just blocks from the beach in Santa Cruz. IMHO..... that's the start of a potential community living situation. From what they have said, it seems affordable and the possibilities are there
I went back and read about the Wisteria and Nancy connection, what a wonderful thing to have happen. Such an amazing progression from net friendship to, (BFF's, LOL), neighbors. I wish for more such wonderful stories to be part of the future for those that want such connections. Nothing like having friends that understand your circumstances, share in some interest and are nearby to spend time with. Considering how difficult developing new friendships are, as we move around, especially these days, that is just so encouraging.

Bravo to you, Nancy and Wisteria. Some people do follow through and that's nice to see.
 
Old 05-26-2010, 09:23 PM
 
Location: zippidy doo dah
895 posts, read 1,333,110 times
Reputation: 1928
Quote:
Originally Posted by TRosa View Post
Whatever happened with the community living situation, some of you ladies were talking of forming? I was very intrigued about the subject when l read tidbits of that discussion way back before I moved out here to NC. Since I've recently started back reading the forums, I haven't seen any updates on the subject and wondered what became of that talk.
head up for air here - sorry i've been quiet - my " down time/R&R" has been a little more stressful than anticipated but with the bad comes good - actually, it will all be funny in time. but geez, i think i encountered the nastiest person in the entire state of NC and I was somewhat reeling from that. I think i could have pressed charges for violating the human spirit or just freaking meaness but can't find any legal precedent for it. it made me want to just flee from here but i still had work to do to finish up so i put on my big girl panties and dealt with it.....however, i will revisit the situation at a later date (and no, the troll that will one day get tromped by the billy goats gruff was not the "to be former spouse" - it's actually someone i'm paying for service who apparently was abused as a child and i must look like his mama)

but back to the question here on community - yes, wisteria and nancy did a neat connection out on the west coast. seems to be more ISO living arrangements or locales in the western areas but some of us are somewhat soulfully bound to more southern climes (though the heat, humidity and somewhat stinky mildew i am living in presently has made me yearn for dry air) -

there are some definite things happening in the asheville area on organized community living - very green and very "asheville" so may or may not appeal to all. i myself am mulling various approaches to how we create supportive community while maintaining independence and diversity in world view. the thing i am convinced of is that "community" will have many faces and will not be a cookie cutter thing.

i've said it before and i'll say it again, there are a good many of us that have an interesting perspective on aging, particularly for the single female, mostly on less-than-optimum incomes. many of us will set trends - i feel it in my bones....and it's surely not arthritis cuz it's a good feeling! mind is fading from fatigue here so before i start to put my fingers on the wrong keys, i'm hitting the sack, ready to tackle the tasks of tomorrow and the days after - and in the next few days, i think i'll head to the nantahala forest for some peace and quiet!)
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