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Old 10-29-2010, 01:38 PM
Location: not where you are
8,149 posts, read 7,675,176 times
Reputation: 6939


PS, when I have a chance and can get the pups still, (yes, I have jokes,) other than when they lie in the cage, I'll snap better pics of them.

Old 10-30-2010, 03:32 AM
967 posts, read 922,773 times
Reputation: 1890
I am sorry to hear about the death of your father. Both of my parents and my ex's parents (we were close) have passed on. It's never easy, but when someone you love is suffering, it comes to be a sort of release. My mother died of colon cancer after a long, difficult battle to live. I know what it's like to watch someone you love in pain.

I also am sorry that I got you mixed up with NEG. Both of you--please accept my apologies.

I wish you courage and fortitude. Life takes us through some tough lessons, doesn't it?
Old 10-30-2010, 08:28 AM
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,044,554 times
Reputation: 15649

The shock of losing your dad may not settle in yet, so be good to yourself and take time alone as needed. A full year after my mom died it all suddenly hit me, not only the loss but the huge complexity of feelings as she was both a gentle person and a tyrant at the same time. I found it helpful to write in a journal anything that came to mind as I went through the aftermath.

My situation remains the same but my attitude has changed. After seeking a new situation in other places I came to realize I'd be cutting myself off from the meaning I have left in my life. I asked myself honestly if I ahd the inner energy, fortitude to start all over again. With my health challenges I had to answer no. Added to that, a son marrying and settling close by. I'm a family person, and the thought of a grandchild some day lifts my spirits. I"ve had the time over the past few years to carefully compare places on all levels and could come to a logical conclusion abaout staying put. I've tried out a housemate and I liked it, so within a year or so I'll probably go that route.

It's strange to be this age. Both challenging in many ways and exhilarating in some ways. So this is what it's like to be a senior!
Old 10-30-2010, 11:49 AM
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,420 posts, read 5,956,994 times
Reputation: 7159
MsFrog, I too am so sorry to hear about your father. I am glad you are able to post here, and in fact it's helpful to me....my mother is still here at age 88, but someday I assume I'll have to go through that planning that you're doing...it's helpful to hear how you're dealing with it.

Artangel, yes, I'm the one who bought the 60's rancher after my apartment neighbors complained about the dogs barking. Only to have the new neighbors complain too. The dogs bark when they see squirrels in the yard. They're DOGS, and not only that, they're WESTIES, so they bark at squirrels and any other little vermin that invade their territory!
Old 10-31-2010, 11:41 PM
967 posts, read 922,773 times
Reputation: 1890
Avalon, sorry to hear about your difficult neighbors. Good grief! You haven't been there that long, have you? I have no answers. How hard it must be to make a big move and feel you've solved a "problem" only to unwittingly fall into a situation that only resurrects it. Discouraging. Did they complain to you, or to cops or other neighbors? They sound very intolerant. My neighbors like to party on the week-ends. They can be a bit loud and late. But you know what? They're really nice people otherwise, so what's a little noise now and then?

Dogs bark. Period. It's natural. And it's your new home and theirs. You have rights, too. Here's a thought I just had....explore it if you wish to or not.....can you invite them over and try to become more friendly with them? And let them see your doggies at their best, too. Perhaps if they become "invested" someway in the relationship (of being a neighbor) and get to know all the good things about you, they'll be more inclined to overlook a little barking. It's so easy for people to "dis" the unknown person or group---very different when the stranger becomes someone you know and like---or at least tolerate! Good luck! And good wishes!
Old 11-02-2010, 12:08 AM
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,420 posts, read 5,956,994 times
Reputation: 7159
Did they complain to you, or to cops or other neighbors?
Well, Artangel, it's really a sad situation. My cousin lives 5 houses away. I had just gotten the fence installed, so the dogs were excitedly exploring the yard and chasing/barking at the many squirrels and bunnies in the neighbor's yard and up in our trees. Unfortunately, my irresponsible son was allowing the dogs outside (while I was sleeping or out) and not overseeing them. My cousin called to tell me that "everyone" in the neighborhood was up-in-arms, and that her next-door neighbor (and friend) had come down the afternoon before and told my son to take the dogs in or she'd "call the cops". I was furious, first at my son for not telling me what happened, but also that my cousin joined in on the complaints and also seemed to be scolding me, like I'm some rookie homeowner and she's the sheriff in town. ("That's not going to fly around here", she said.) I told her if anyone has any complaints, they should come to me directly. We exchanged some testy e-mails, and she hasn't spoken to me since (over a month). She feels she was trying to do me a favor and give me a heads-up....I feel she was treating me like a child, conveying her embarrassment that I'm disrupting her neighborhood, and getting in the middle of my business.

Anyway, after that I was really paranoid about all the neighbors hating me. Lo and behold, a neighbor across the street comes over with a mum as a welcome gift. She didn't say a word about the dogs barking. My next-door neighbor is also very sweet and has said the dogs don't bother her. The other two nearby neighbors are friendly and wave to me. Soooo, that's as far as I want to take it. I am not the "invite the neighbors over" type....I've had too many problems in the past with neighbors that get too friendly and then something blows up.

The barking has calmed down as the dogs have gotten used to the yard, and they can both sit out there for hours without a peep, but a squirrel will set my male dog off. The thing is, I've heard other dogs barking for hours around here, so why was I singled out? And the threat of calling the cops was just over-the-top nasty. It's not like this had been going on for months -- I had only been here a month, and only had the fence a few days. So now I have to always be on my guard and if my male doesn't stop within a few minutes, I drag him in. I've considered an electronic bark collar but it seems inhumane. Anyway, sorry to go on and on, but I appreciate your understanding...it's ashame a dumb situation like this has ruined a family relationship. And BTW, I already sent an olive-branch note to her (about something else), but I've been ignored, so I'm done.
Old 11-02-2010, 09:19 AM
Location: Scotland(Robert Burns Country)
62 posts, read 88,282 times
Reputation: 83
Red face Sarasota

Originally Posted by TRosa View Post
Giving my shout out/update

Moved into my place a few weeks ago;I feel I'm living my dream. This past weekend I spent time at the beach and swam in ocean (ok waddled around in the water). Amazing how hot it was this time of the year. So much has taken place over the past month or so, but I have to say, I hope I never wake up from this dream. I truly feel like I've found my paradise in this part of Sarasota.

Neighbors smile and say hello, I've made a few friends, been pet sitting for a few people here and there, will show a pic or two sometime later when I upload pics of the pups. I'm located near everything I could possibly hope to get to most, in walking distance, a bus depot two blocks away as well. At the moment things are just too great, it's scary.

There's so many wonderful things that have taken place since this move, I just can't begin to put it all down on paper right now. There are some things that could make it perfect, like if my sisters were here to share this time and space with me, also to have those ladies from cd that I've come to enjoy chatting up come for a visit someday.

I've missed the boards, will try to get back here more now that my pc is up and running.
When you have time I would love to hear what made you choose Sarasota---from what I have seen it looks beautiful--another Florida town that looks interesting is Tarpon Springs. I find it fascinating hearing everyone's stories.
Old 11-02-2010, 09:46 AM
4,580 posts, read 7,087,553 times
Reputation: 4239
so sorry to hear about your issues with your dogs but sounds like things are settling down a bit. I did see an infomerical on TV awhile back about something you can use that stops dogs from barking but it isn't electronic...I wish now I could remember what it was exactly. If I see it again, I'll post. Might be worth a try.
Old 11-02-2010, 09:49 AM
Location: Henderson, NV
3,474 posts, read 2,265,164 times
Reputation: 36647
Originally Posted by flyingscot47 View Post
When you have time I would love to hear what made you choose Sarasota---from what I have seen it looks beautiful--another Florida town that looks interesting is Tarpon Springs. I find it fascinating hearing everyone's stories.
I visited Tarpon Springs as I was exploring retirement locations. I found it to be pretty run down, though there are newer parts that I didn't get to explore. Just south of there is Trinity/Newport Richey which I much preferred. There is a beautiful 55+ community -- Heritage Springs -- which I was seriously considering but in the end, the bugs and humidity (and the alligators!) made me count Florida out. If you like those things, there are many communities north of Tampa that might suit you.
Old 11-02-2010, 12:06 PM
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,918 posts, read 6,251,865 times
Reputation: 2657
Default Lurking, not working...

MzFroggez, I'm so sorry about your dad. Life is very strange….and families, stranger still! Hang in there – it sounds like you are a supportive daughter and sister, and you will eventually have a chance to find your own place, and peace for yourself!

Everyone, "Hi!" It has been awhile since I have posted. As Umbria noted, I have had some work challenges. (The boss is gone this morning….although I have cut my computer use a lot.) At night, I'm just too tired to go and post….

For me…I have finally gotten my house more together. Got the living room fully painted now, and painted my fireplace bricks bright red! Not everyone's taste, to be sure, but I love that pop of bright color! My fireplace was inspected, and I tried it out a week ago, and it works just fine – so lovely to not have to stack and haul cords of wood anymore, and to already have central heating. My fireplace is now ornamental….which is a great pleasure! It was raining the day I put on just one fire log – the kind with paper around it – lol. I just could not bear the thought of using "real" wood after all those years of having to use wood every single day for heat! No more lugging around pieces of wood, no more starting big fires for heat, just a pretty, beautiful glow in my fireplace! Ahhhhhh….

I am finally getting my Social Security and pension figured out. Had a mighty big scare when the Social Security person I first spoke to in town told me I would only receive…..wait 'til you hear this….$26/month! That's right, folks -- $26 – that is NOT missing any zeros. I had to wait excruciating weeks before I got an in-person appointment with someone else. Turns out this individual who told me this (she did not give me her name) is apparently well-known for intentionally giving misinformation. The man who finally did go over my S.S. records was quite startled when he discovered that I barely made any money all these years, and exclaimed, "It's only the past ten years that you've made any money at all…." Well, yeah, that's true. That's why I'm still working! He was like the Wizard of Oz -- who is that man behind the curtain -- and would continually get up from his desk and go into the back rooms, then return with more information. I was sweating it. Finally, he pronounced that although my work history was complex (it is), that I was eligible for S.S.! Yayyyy! My amount went up, so I am relieved. I was so worried about his answer, that I had him put it in writing and sign the letter! I hope that works in a few years when I go in to claim it again! I can now use both the pension and S.S. for retirement. Had I been married for over ten years, I'd have the recourse of a husband's S.S. – but I never did do that -- sometimes it is better to let go of a bad husband, than to stick around for money only to be used after a long bitter battle.

On the advice of a financial planner, who also could not believe my shoestring budget, I am continuing to work a few more years. I think when people actually crunch the numbers they are quite surprised to see how I have managed all these years. I guess frugality has definitely helped me to see the world! If I had been cursed with a material mentality, I would still be in a steel mill city! Luckily, I do mostly love nature, and that (for now, at least) is free!

It has been beautiful weather here lately. It was a chilly summer here – just like the eastcoast had a very hot summer. More fog than usual. But now, it is just gorgeous! I still work in the redwoods and take hikes in the woods around our building – there is something about being in nature that is so healing to me.

That's the other thing I am working on – more spirituality. I found that I have slipped up on that lately, and am now getting myself back to a more spiritual place – reading, getting together with others, just trying to focus more. My job is very stressful, and I know that I have let go of some concepts because of that stress – it is time to counteract it.

My daughter and I have been getting along fine. She came down a couple of weeks ago, and we went to a wonderful hot tub/sauna spa. Well Within Spas & Saunas (http://www.wellwithinspa.com/spas.html - broken link) It was very, very reasonable, and wonderful! Not only did we have a private room, but the room had both the hot tub and the sauna, including water and oils to pour on the hot rocks. The hot tub was quite deep with strong jets and looked out onto a gorgeous Japanese pond and garden. It was dark, so all the Japanese lanterns were lit, and we could see the koi in the pond. We also had hot tea brought to us in the room, which we sipped while in the hot tub. An hour was plenty to loosen us up!

My daughter is doing well – although she is only 20, so she is still in the "learning the ropes of life" process. She's a good kid, and I love her!

And that pretty much sums up what I've been doing. I did buy some drawing paper for art work, and haven't even gotten to that yet. It seems time is just flying by!

I hope everyone is well and happy.


Last edited by nancy thereader; 11-11-2010 at 08:31 PM..
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