Men and Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (grandparents, weather)

[bridgerider]

Originally Posted by loveautumn

well, as a woman looking to retire alone to a new city, I had a rough day yesterday. I was planning a trip to Charlottesville, VA, as this is/was a place I thought would be a good fit for me to retire...I don't know what happened but yesterday I really got cold feet. .... I was going to visit in October but now I'm not sure if it's worth it...I can't afford to waste $2,500.

....... I know there's only so much one can research and then I have to go see (wherever it is) with my own eyes.

I feel really messed up, kind of down about it, because I was pretty sure this was "the place" and now I am having such serious doubts. I mean, I'm sure I would love the quaintness of the area, there seems to be lots to do, but my doubts about crime, college area and housing are major areas, at least to me, in considering such a major move....I know no place is perfect but I really can't afford to make a mistake. This is wearing me out....

Umbria is right, many of us can relate! Charlottesville was on my list too; I knocked it off due to the points you mentioned. I did visit there...VA as a whole is still at the top of my list. It's a juggling act tho - my first choices are either too expensive (Leesburg), a little too far from where I think I'd rather be, ie the Salem/Roanoke region is gorgeous, but may be too far west for me.

The more I research, the more options I see...so I totally get what you're saying about not being able to afford a mistake. Not saying this would work for you, but here's something I'm going to try: Looking at my exploratory trips as my vacations. I'm going to have to shell out the $ to see a place first either way. As much as I wish a trip to Aruba was on my horizon, I know that would be unwise right now. So I will spend my vacation time and vacation dollars touring the mid-Atlantic region inward to TN and south to NC. Whatever I cross off the list? Well hey, guess I enjoyed some sight-seeing instead. Hopefully once I'm settled in, I can start planning a real vacation. I miss Aruba, and there's a few continents I'd like to set foot on one day as well. Now....where did I put that lottery ticket.......

[loveautumn]

Since you did visit C-ville, I really appreciate your comments and validing my concerns. It's funny, Leesburg was at the top of my list a few years ago, I visited and really liked it alot but rental costs have become too high for me there. I've heard some good and bad about Roanoke, I don't think I would fit in. I definitely agree about making any vacations "exploratory'...I did that for years in exploring New England states, I went to them all and really loved it there, but came to the conclusion that winters might be too much for me as I grow older. Well, the search continues...

[loveautumn]

thanks, that means alot to me. Having support from women who have or are going thru this same process is priceless, believe me. I appreciate everyone's comments.

[sera]

Greenville, NC is where a dear friend grew up, said she would live on the coast. For myself, considering the southeast,
am considering a vacation to Charleston SC with Road Scholar, formerly Elderhostel.

Reason my moving, lower cost of living, closer than 2 hours from a major airport. Having living lived near Sacramento,
was used to driving within an hour or two of a number, variety of town. The scenery is beautiful here, will probably not
move, do not like to think of all the adjustments of moving.

Do find it interesting though, to look at various towns; did any of you read Jan Karon's books, At Home in Mitford? She
wrote such a utopia of Blowing Rock, NC, where or near she lived, she had to move, people were looking in her windows!

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by loveautumn

well, as a woman looking to retire alone to a new city, I had a rough day yesterday. ... I was going to visit in October but now I'm not sure if it's worth it...I can't afford to waste $2,500. ... This is wearing me out....

Time to re-calibrate / lighten-up AND understand your objectives... THIS can be a great vacation and NOT a WASTE of $2500...

Surely I don't need to 're-educate' you on 'econo-travel'

I'm doing the whole east coast (well just Maine to GA + PA, TN, and AL..for fall colors & abode research) for the entire month of Oct. (coming back to PNW on 30 Oct). Be Based in BWI, but flying to MA, NY, and SC (for $49 per leg). My WHOLE month will cost MUCH less that $2500. Tho now getting north of $1k.

I will be welcomed into many $10/night guest homes (as I have for 25 + yrs). I am SAFE and learn lots about the local areas. Got priceline and hotwire cars for under $20/ day unlimited miles. Will need only 2 hotels due to late night flights. I Eat at Grocery Stores and farm stands for $2-5 / day.

I will have a great vacation / research trip AND if I find my spot GREAT; if not... keep looking and having MORE super-duper-fun- and adventuresome CHEAP vacations.You can have a good vaction too. This ISN"T about SUCCESS & you're NOT getting Evaluated on your performance...

[loveautumn]

WOW, what the heck is that suppose to mean??? Sorry, but I don't need a vacation, I need to find someplace to retire to, that is my objective.

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by loveautumn

WOW, what the heck is that suppose to mean??? ....

Sorry, just meant to reinforce that ONCE YOU ARE RETIRED, the stress of having to SUCCEED / MEET objectives is no longer your marching orders. No more annual performance reviews .... TG

Personally, I MUST use my Retirement Preview Trips as vacations, or I would never GO!. YMMV


I learn much from each adventure, and would not claim to have any bullseye the 'perfect spot' for me or anyone else. My perfect spot today, may become unmanagable (tomorrow on in 40 more yrs) due to any number of things beyond my control.

I Just have to warn... NOTHING is perfect in life, and keeping your expectations aligned and flexible is necessary to be 'Successful' and at peace. My plans have changed frequently (no choice of my own). I didn't plan to become a caregiver at age 18, and now (several decades later) I realize once you have kids... your future is not your own. So... at any minute I may be called on to be a 'caretaker' for the rest of my life.

I'll survive. (And continue to take MANY vacations in search of my next abode. Wherever it might be )

I have had SO MANY friends relocate, only to discover a nightmare, that I CAN"T place high expectations on ME making the A#1 Best Choice on a new location. (BTW: I have helped many move BACK, which I don't advocate either). I am practicing the discipline of contentment, tho still stricken with wanderlust.

Sorry, have a nice trip

[Fairwinds]

Today I had another wonderful experience in my quest to get out there and meet people and forge friendships. After attending a mountain man rondevous this morning, I drove thru town and spotted an arts and crafts show. I stopped in with my new "take long walks together" friend. (I met her at church several months ago). We toured the art show and spoke with the artists at length. Meanwhile, outside a small group of Native Americans were playing the drum and singing native songs in their native tongue. They invited us to join them and gave us drum sticks to beat the large drum with them. They insisted we sing along and taught us some lyrics. We ended up laughing so hard when one would interject humorous stories into the repertoire. I can't begin to tell you how much fun we had! We had the opportunity to learn something about the other drummers and were elated to learn of the many adventures and travels of the participants. A writer once told me that everyone has a "back" story as these fellow drummers certainly had. I'm meeting so many interesting folks with such varied backgrounds I find there's not enough minutes in a day to adsorb all the "back" stories. I'm loving every minute of life and look forward to meeting more folks and listening to their stories. When the cool dark of winter falls upon the land, I will be learning to make driftwood sculptures and making pictures with glass which will be bonded with heat in a kiln. I will find myself surrounded by artists in a warm, nurturing environment, the heat of the kiln dispelling the quiet dark of winter.

[Umbria]

Originally Posted by Fairwinds

Today I had another wonderful experience in my quest to get out there and meet people and forge friendships. After attending a mountain man rondevous this morning, I drove thru town and spotted an arts and crafts show. I stopped in with my new "take long walks together" friend. (I met her at church several months ago). We toured the art show and spoke with the artists at length. Meanwhile, outside a small group of Native Americans were playing the drum and singing native songs in their native tongue. They invited us to join them and gave us drum sticks to beat the large drum with them. They insisted we sing along and taught us some lyrics. We ended up laughing so hard when one would interject humorous stories into the repertoire. I can't begin to tell you how much fun we had! We had the opportunity to learn something about the other drummers and were elated to learn of the many adventures and travels of the participants. A writer once told me that everyone has a "back" story as these fellow drummers certainly had. I'm meeting so many interesting folks with such varied backgrounds I find there's not enough minutes in a day to adsorb all the "back" stories. I'm loving every minute of life and look forward to meeting more folks and listening to their stories. When the cool dark of winter falls upon the land, I will be learning to make driftwood sculptures and making pictures with glass which will be bonded with heat in a kiln. I will find myself surrounded by artists in a warm, nurturing environment, the heat of the kiln dispelling the quiet dark of winter.

Sounds devine I'm going to start packing~~

[Fairwinds]

The Port Townsend,WA Wooden Boat Festival commences September 7-9, 2012. It is one of the best festivals I've ever been too. Wooden Boat Festival - Port Townsend, WA

This annual Festival is responsible for me choosing this area in which to retire. I came, I experienced and fell in love with the area. I had to wait until retirement to move here because this area lacks good paying jobs. Thus, it has become a retirement and vacation haven. What the area lacks in jobs it more then makes up for in activities, of which many are free or low cost. I go to free outdoor concerts on Tuesday and Wednesday nights all summer long. At one venue on a pier by the ocean a bubble machine pumps out bubbles to jazz, big band, do-opp, (etc.) musicicians while children frolic on the lawn and draw pictures on the concrete with side-walk chalk which is handed out freely for that purpose. There is a strong sense of community and an open acceptance of fellow human beings, regardless of the way they dress, look or where they came from. This is most likely because the area is sparsely populated in comparison with major cities, resulting in less strain on the local resources. People are more relaxed and friendly in this non-congested environment. I see a lot of grandparents enjoying their children and grandchildren at these venues. This is exactly the kind of place I was looking for when I retired. A word of caution: On my extensive list of best places to retire based on numerous criteria, I had to draw a line thru "cheapest places to retire". I also spent 20+ years researching retirement locations while I was pursuing my career, often vacationing in places on my list. I realized early on that I would need a large savings to pull this off. The economic crash of 2008-2009 didn't help matters. I was unable to retire my mortgage like I had hoped. Non the less, I followed thru with my plans and I'm glad I did. I have zero regrets!