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Old 09-02-2012, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Sarasota Florida
1,236 posts, read 3,610,415 times
Reputation: 1230

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairwinds View Post
The Port Townsend,WA Wooden Boat Festival commences September 7-9, 2012. It is one of the best festivals I've ever been too. Wooden Boat Festival - Port Townsend, WA

This annual Festival is responsible for me choosing this area in which to retire. I came, I experienced and fell in love with the area. I had to wait until retirement to move here because this area lacks good paying jobs. Thus, it has become a retirement and vacation haven. What the area lacks in jobs it more then makes up for in activities, of which many are free or low cost. I go to free outdoor concerts on Tuesday and Wednesday nights all summer long. At one venue on a pier by the ocean a bubble machine pumps out bubbles to jazz, big band, do-opp, (etc.) musicicians while children frolic on the lawn and draw pictures on the concrete with side-walk chalk which is handed out freely for that purpose. There is a strong sense of community and an open acceptance of fellow human beings, regardless of the way they dress, look or where they came from. This is most likely because the area is sparsely populated in comparison with major cities, resulting in less strain on the local resources. People are more relaxed and friendly in this non-congested environment. I see a lot of grandparents enjoying their children and grandchildren at these venues. This is exactly the kind of place I was looking for when I retired. A word of caution: On my extensive list of best places to retire based on numerous criteria, I had to draw a line thru "cheapest places to retire". I also spent 20+ years researching retirement locations while I was pursuing my career, often vacationing in places on my list. I realized early on that I would need a large savings to pull this off. The economic crash of 2008-2009 didn't help matters. I was unable to retire my mortgage like I had hoped. Non the less, I followed thru with my plans and I'm glad I did. I have zero regrets!
I came home last week but spent most of the summer visiting the area of Sequim, and nearby Port Angeles and Port Townsend !! It is a delightful location. I'm not sure what the winter is like, but the lifestyle has much to offer

 
Old 09-03-2012, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 427,126 times
Reputation: 704
Default A new step for me

Hello all, it's been some time since I have posted on the Retirement forum. As many of you know, my husband passed away 4-1-12, and it seems I have been posting/reading more on the Grief forum.

Anyway....I have made a move in my life. Not THE FINAL retirement move (since I am still working part-time), but a move to a new house in my present town. I was finding it more difficult to stay in "our" house as I "saw" my husband everywhere....sitting on his spot on the sofa, laying in his bed, etc. I figured I would just stay in that house until I moved to my final retirement location, wherever that would be.

It so happened that a house came on the market for sale just one street over, on a private road; 3 of the houses on that road are occupied by my newly-adopted family. They invited me to their little country church and I have found a new home in the only Lutheran church in our community. I looked at the house, just looking....that can't hurt, right? Well, I liked it and although it needed some sprucing up, inside and out, I could see the possibilities. But did I really want to make a move at this point in my life, and just one street over?

I struggled with the decision and prayed about it. I decided that if I am meant to stay in "our" house, then I would get rid of the sofa and buy a new one; paint, new flooring, curtains, etc......make it mine. But if I was meant to get the other house, well Lord, make it happen. I put my house on the market and IT SOLD IN 2 WEEKS! That was my sign from above that I was supposed to move. My new neighbors had encouraged me to go for it so they could be there for me if I needed anything, now and down the road as I age (I just turned 63). Wow, you can't be that for neighbors/family. They are wonderful people...3 families.

So I have now fixed up and moved into the new house. It is warm and cozy, and while I have some things from "our" house in "my" new house, it is all mine to fix up and do as I like. I have made some changes and it is a great, liberating feeling! The new life as a widow is a work in progress. The "experts" say you shouldn't make any major changes after a death for at least a year.....for me it has only been 5 months, but I felt like it was something I wanted and could handle. I have no regrets.

The house is the same size as my other house (I would have even liked a smaller house), with a 2-car garage and fenced in backyard for the dogs and cats. I got it for a steal, it was in pretty bad shape.

Is this my final retirement spot? I have no idea. For now, it has put me in new surroundings and a fresh start in life. I am very content to stay here, but I have not closed any doors. I DO know that moving at this age is for the birds, even one street over! Of course, my friends did all the heavy moving for me and I couldn't have done it without them.

I still dream of different places. But for now, my motto remains "one day at a time."
 
Old 09-03-2012, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Winter Park FL
205 posts, read 360,250 times
Reputation: 378
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveautumn View Post
well, as a woman looking to retire alone to a new city, I had a rough day yesterday. I was planning a trip to Charlottesville, VA, as this is/was a place I thought would be a good fit for me to retire...I don't know what happened but yesterday I really got cold feet. Don't know if it is fear or just a slap in the head of good old fashioned common sense. I had talked myself into thinking I could live in a very small city (town really) with a huge university that basically rules the place, a crime index that is very high for a place that small, and the lack of apartments in my price range that would seem livable to me (not dumps, lots of kids, college kids partying, etc.) This apt thing could be a deal breaker, as my "home" is very important to me. I was told by people many times on C-D that it is an expensive area (although not like SoCal) and basically the "haves" and "have nots"...I'm kind of in the middle I guess so I don't know where I would fit economically. I was going to visit in October but now I'm not sure if it's worth it...I can't afford to waste $2,500. I was going at a very popular time (college football games, fall foliage, etc.) and every hotel is sold out (I do have reservations at a hotel that's OK, but not that great).

My friend told me maybe I should just wait and research some more and maybe go another time when it won't be so crowded. But I know there's only so much one can research and then I have to go see (wherever it is) with my own eyes.

I feel really messed up, kind of down about it, because I was pretty sure this was "the place" and now I am having such serious doubts. I mean, I'm sure I would love the quaintness of the area, there seems to be lots to do, but my doubts about crime, college area and housing are major areas, at least to me, in considering such a major move....I know no place is perfect but I really can't afford to make a mistake. This is wearing me out....
Just got a chance to catch up. Am so sorry that you had a difficult time. I can relate so much to getting cold feet. But you know, it's just doubt and fear creeping in. We start to doubt ourselves and then we get afraid. Checking out places you really want to live isn't wasting your money. I understand we have to be frugal but checking out a place you really like is an investment. Suppose you went there and decided on your own it wasn't for you. I've done that and didn't like the place and was going to go home. But that was negative (fear/doubt) thinking. I decided to give it a chance and make it a vacation. What I found was that it really wasn't for me. But I made that decision. When you start letting other peoples' fears and doubts creep in then we don't ever make a decision based on what we want, or don't want. You go into a store and see a dress you really like. Do you let your friend decide if it is right for you by telling you oh your won't like it; that doesn't look right for you, blah, blah, blah. Or do you try it on, even if you think you won't like? You just never know. Try it on. See if it fits or suits you.

If you feel it's the right place you won't know until you try it on. It's not like you bought the dress with no return policy. You aren't moving there just because you think you like it. Go try it on! Maybe you won't like it, but then again maybe it'll be just perfect!

P.S. And you are only an hour away from Richmond (where I grew up) and a few hours from D.C.; mountains; whatever you want!
 
Old 09-03-2012, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Winter Park FL
205 posts, read 360,250 times
Reputation: 378
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveautumn View Post
WOW, what the heck is that suppose to mean??? Sorry, but I don't need a vacation, I need to find someplace to retire to, that is my objective.
It means it may not be your perfect spot but you won't know until you visit and see what it is like. If you find it is your place GREAT; if not, you have at least gotten to visit some place new.

I did that a few years ago. I went with full intention that this is where I wanted to live. I got there and was ready to get back on the plane and fly home. I didn't. I decided to explore. See and visit places that had attracted me there in the first place, met wonderful people, ate great food. But I knew it was not somewhere I wanted to live. It was an experience I am glad I had. I could have just moved there sight unseen and been miserable. Instead I visited, gave it a chance, and then decided no. As much as I loved visiting, it wasn't where I wanted to live.

I turned lemons into lemon aide.
 
Old 09-03-2012, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,994,426 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairwinds View Post
Here's the rub: when I start to get to know people better they distance me. It seems they want to keep relationships superficial. One woman was real friendly to me at first, but her constant bragging about all the cool material stuff she bought on line and her negative gossip about others really turned me off. I distanced her and now I have the honor of being the brunt of her gossip.
I'm finding out that as we age, this kind of thing doesn't get any better. A number of women (especially, but I suppose some men too) feel so insecure that they have to get into criticizing others or gossiping. I heard an earful just listening closely on a recent "seniors" day trip. I vowed at the end of that day to never live among only seniors. I mean, it can get as bad as, or worse than, high school! It's worse in older age because these women have too much time on their hands...
 
Old 09-03-2012, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,994,426 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveautumn View Post
well, as a woman looking to retire alone to a new city, I had a rough day yesterday. I was planning a trip to Charlottesville, VA, as this is/was a place I thought would be a good fit for me to retire...I don't know what happened but yesterday I really got cold feet. Don't know if it is fear or just a slap in the head of good old fashioned common sense. I had talked myself into thinking I could live in a very small city (town really) with a huge university that basically rules the place, a crime index that is very high for a place that small, and the lack of apartments in my price range that would seem livable to me (not dumps, lots of kids, college kids partying, etc.) This apt thing could be a deal breaker, as my "home" is very important to me. I was told by people many times on C-D that it is an expensive area (although not like SoCal) and basically the "haves" and "have nots"...I'm kind of in the middle I guess so I don't know where I would fit economically. I was going to visit in October but now I'm not sure if it's worth it...I can't afford to waste $2,500. I was going at a very popular time (college football games, fall foliage, etc.) and every hotel is sold out (I do have reservations at a hotel that's OK, but not that great).

My friend told me maybe I should just wait and research some more and maybe go another time when it won't be so crowded. But I know there's only so much one can research and then I have to go see (wherever it is) with my own eyes.

I feel really messed up, kind of down about it, because I was pretty sure this was "the place" and now I am having such serious doubts. I mean, I'm sure I would love the quaintness of the area, there seems to be lots to do, but my doubts about crime, college area and housing are major areas, at least to me, in considering such a major move....I know no place is perfect but I really can't afford to make a mistake. This is wearing me out....
The first few heady years of retirement and release from my mother (she died 3 yrs ago, when I retired due to health stuff) I felt like I had a wide-open pass to move anywhere. I explored a lot within my budget and fantasized about a lot of options.

As one who had considered C-ville several years ago, along with other places in the semi-South, here is what I came to in my own life (every year I'm alive I seem to get clearer and clearer about reality). I need people in my daily/weekly life with whom I have some kind of history - whether that is one or more of my grown kids, my ex, friends, sisters, whomever. I realized that I'm just not the type who can start all over from scratch and try to build a friendship/network system, no matter how cool or quaint the place. And I'm relieved I came to this realization before I moved elsewhere...but mad at myself for having to spend the travel money to find this out about myself.

You're feeling bummed out because a fantasy is being injected with realities, so listen to your inner voice and see if you can separate that rational voice from fear of the unknown.

What are you seeking, really? Are there places where you already know at least one person that would meet your needs? Just one person already there can make all the difference, even if s/he later disappears. It's the transitional support you probably need. At any rate, don't be so hard on yourself!
 
Old 09-03-2012, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,994,426 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by karcon View Post
Just got a chance to catch up. Am so sorry that you had a difficult time. I can relate so much to getting cold feet. But you know, it's just doubt and fear creeping in. We start to doubt ourselves and then we get afraid. Checking out places you really want to live isn't wasting your money. I understand we have to be frugal but checking out a place you really like is an investment. Suppose you went there and decided on your own it wasn't for you. I've done that and didn't like the place and was going to go home. But that was negative (fear/doubt) thinking. I decided to give it a chance and make it a vacation. What I found was that it really wasn't for me. But I made that decision. When you start letting other peoples' fears and doubts creep in then we don't ever make a decision based on what we want, or don't want. You go into a store and see a dress you really like. Do you let your friend decide if it is right for you by telling you oh your won't like it; that doesn't look right for you, blah, blah, blah. Or do you try it on, even if you think you won't like? You just never know. Try it on. See if it fits or suits you.

If you feel it's the right place you won't know until you try it on. It's not like you bought the dress with no return policy. You aren't moving there just because you think you like it. Go try it on! Maybe you won't like it, but then again maybe it'll be just perfect!

P.S. And you are only an hour away from Richmond (where I grew up) and a few hours from D.C.; mountains; whatever you want!
Good advice. We really shouldn't really listen too closely to others or we won't hear our authentic voice talking to us.
 
Old 09-03-2012, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,955 posts, read 7,400,186 times
Reputation: 16294
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I'm finding out that as we age, this kind of thing doesn't get any better. A number of women (especially, but I suppose some men too) feel so insecure that they have to get into criticizing others or gossiping. I heard an earful just listening closely on a recent "seniors" day trip. I vowed at the end of that day to never live among only seniors. I mean, it can get as bad as, or worse than, high school! It's worse in older age because these women have too much time on their hands...
I couldn't agree more. It has to be the insecurity thing. Single women pose a real threat and I can somewhat understand since there are lots of women out there that will snatch & grab anything with a pulse - married or not. This makes it tough on the rest of us.

I keep hearing how women stick together ~ blah blah blah. It's really just the opposite. Other women are viewed as competition to many women - until they can get over this, snarky behavior will continue. I've said it before and I'll say it agan - my worst nightmare would be a "Golden Girls" type living arrangement because it would be nothing like the TV show. It would make my 26 years working in a corporate environment seem like a walk in the park.

Ever notice that men don't feel the need to do the same?
 
Old 09-03-2012, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,955 posts, read 7,400,186 times
Reputation: 16294
Quote:
Originally Posted by tngirl205 View Post
Hello all, it's been some time since I have posted on the Retirement forum. As many of you know, my husband passed away 4-1-12, and it seems I have been posting/reading more on the Grief forum.

.
Is this my final retirement spot? I have no idea. For now, it has put me in new surroundings and a fresh start in life. I am very content to stay here, but I have not closed any doors. I DO know that moving at this age is for the birds, even one street over! Of course, my friends did all the heavy moving for me and I couldn't have done it without them.

I still dream of different places. But for now, my motto remains "one day at a time."
Good to hear from you! I wondered what happened to you - thought maybe you joined a circus or something

Sounds like you made a wise decision. If you had waited any longer you may have ended up in that "rut" that is so hard to climb out of.
 
Old 09-03-2012, 06:08 PM
Status: "I am Blessed." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,424 posts, read 3,977,201 times
Reputation: 8904
Quote:
Originally Posted by tngirl205 View Post
Hello all, it's been some time since I have posted on the Retirement forum. As many of you know, my husband passed away 4-1-12, and it seems I have been posting/reading more on the Grief forum.

Anyway....I have made a move in my life. Not THE FINAL retirement move (since I am still working part-time), but a move to a new house in my present town. I was finding it more difficult to stay in "our" house as I "saw" my husband everywhere....sitting on his spot on the sofa, laying in his bed, etc. I figured I would just stay in that house until I moved to my final retirement location, wherever that would be.

It so happened that a house came on the market for sale just one street over, on a private road; 3 of the houses on that road are occupied by my newly-adopted family. They invited me to their little country church and I have found a new home in the only Lutheran church in our community. I looked at the house, just looking....that can't hurt, right? Well, I liked it and although it needed some sprucing up, inside and out, I could see the possibilities. But did I really want to make a move at this point in my life, and just one street over?

I struggled with the decision and prayed about it. I decided that if I am meant to stay in "our" house, then I would get rid of the sofa and buy a new one; paint, new flooring, curtains, etc......make it mine. But if I was meant to get the other house, well Lord, make it happen. I put my house on the market and IT SOLD IN 2 WEEKS! That was my sign from above that I was supposed to move. My new neighbors had encouraged me to go for it so they could be there for me if I needed anything, now and down the road as I age (I just turned 63). Wow, you can't be that for neighbors/family. They are wonderful people...3 families.

So I have now fixed up and moved into the new house. It is warm and cozy, and while I have some things from "our" house in "my" new house, it is all mine to fix up and do as I like. I have made some changes and it is a great, liberating feeling! The new life as a widow is a work in progress. The "experts" say you shouldn't make any major changes after a death for at least a year.....for me it has only been 5 months, but I felt like it was something I wanted and could handle. I have no regrets.

The house is the same size as my other house (I would have even liked a smaller house), with a 2-car garage and fenced in backyard for the dogs and cats. I got it for a steal, it was in pretty bad shape.

Is this my final retirement spot? I have no idea. For now, it has put me in new surroundings and a fresh start in life. I am very content to stay here, but I have not closed any doors. I DO know that moving at this age is for the birds, even one street over! Of course, my friends did all the heavy moving for me and I couldn't have done it without them.

I still dream of different places. But for now, my motto remains "one day at a time."
I love this thread, I read it religiously for ideas and to see how y'all are doing. I want to reply to tngirl 2005 and offer my sympathies, but also to tell you I am proud of you! You are proving to be a strong woman, and your husband would be so proud of you as well.

I have noticed nobody has mentioned Texas as a retirement destination. I lived in San Antonio for 8 years before moving back to Michigan due to "life changes" beyond my control. Everything that has been mentioned on this thread as "must haves" I actually had in SA. I worked at UTSA (University of Texas San Antonio) for a vendor company, and utilized the college campus for taking public transportation (bus) downtown and for taking my 5 year old granddaughter, a budding artist, to an art gallery opening of a former student, complete with the finger foods and drinks. The cost of living is waaaaaay lower in Texas, the weather in SA is hot in the summer but everything is air conditioned. It was actually too cool for me to sit outside in the mornings and evenings for meals during the months of November through March, but there is NO SNOW OR ICE!!!! San Antonio has all the social and art scenes that everyone is looking for, from plays to fund raisers to benefits, etc. Although Texas' governor is a Republican, SA is liberal, or not, either way, one would not feel left out or smothered by politics, IMO. An added bonus is the SPURS! Even if one is not a sports fan, you would find yourself rooting for them during the season. NICE BUNCH OF GUYS!

Anyone care to comment on Texas/San Antonio as a retirement destination?
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