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Old 12-21-2012, 08:53 PM
 
967 posts, read 920,001 times
Reputation: 1890

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It's been a while since I posted, but think of you fondly.....Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a wonderful New Year wished for you all!

 
Old 12-24-2012, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Winter Park FL
205 posts, read 360,202 times
Reputation: 378
Quote:
Originally Posted by artangel View Post
It's been a while since I posted, but think of you fondly.....Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a wonderful New Year wished for you all!
And Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Solstice (and any other holiday I missed) oh, and Happy Holidays! and wishing you all a most wonderful, healthy, prosperous, and happy 2013 New Year!!! You are amazing women, and I am happy to know you all.
 
Old 12-26-2012, 06:53 PM
Status: "I am Blessed." (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,423 posts, read 3,975,533 times
Reputation: 8890
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairwinds View Post
It's easy for me, starting over that is because I never really started, ever. I had three best friends where I lived for twenty years. I moved when I retired to a beautiful location that's less expensive then where I was. Two of my life long best friends are moving up here within four miles of me. They visited me and fell in love with the area. My third friend is staying where she's at because she loves her area and can't afford to move, even if she wanted to. I've made one good friend in the year since I've been up here. I look forward to making more friends. I've got great neighbors but all is not perfect. I'm learning to roll with the punches! My neighbor is the bell of the ball and entertaining is her fortes. It seems I may have crossed her somehow and now she's invited everyone, including my one new friend to her Christmas Eve Soiree, everyone except me. I'm not worried, my other two best friends will be spending Christmas Eve with me. I gave my neighbor a great gift today, one with a lot of thought and love. I can play this game too! Keep it simple, love life and don't get caught up in the details. One day, my neighbor and I will be close friends, she just needs the time to explore her conscious. Merry Christmas all you women who think you're alone! None of us are really alone, ever!
Just wondering if and hoping that "Ms Belle of the Ball" came to her senses and included you in her Christmas Eve party.

And Wishes for a happy New Year 2013 to all of us posters on this thread. I enjoy each and every one of you!
 
Old 12-31-2012, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA
121 posts, read 253,931 times
Reputation: 386
Default The "Belle of the Ball"

Unfortunately, Mrs. "Belle of the Ball" did not come to her senses and invite me to her Christmas Eve party. I spoke with my friend who was invited and attended. She said she had a wonderful time and Mrs. "Belle of the Ball" was the consummate hostess, generous beyond belief, bestowing expensive gifts upon my friend. I have never encountered this kind of behavior before and I'm somewhat baffled by it. I can only assume that my neighbor is into playing mean spirited games for her own amusement and my best course of action is to remain neutral, cordial and distant. As for my friend who attended her party, I'm rethinking my relationship with her. If the situation were reversed, I would not have attended Mrs. "Belle of the Balls'" party, knowing that my friend wasn't invited. I gave my friend three heartfelt and wonderful gifts with a lovely handmade Christmas card containing a kindhearted personal message that I composed myself. I hand delivered the gifts and card to her home prior to Christmas. I cut my business trip short so that I could rush her and her cat to the emergency vet when she called me a few days before Christmas. (Her car is broken and she can't afford to fix it) She thanked me profusely and insisted upon treating me to dinner. I ordered one of the cheapest thing on the menu because I know how tight money is for her. (I was careful not to make it obvious) I'm so concerned about other peoples feelings I go out of my way not to hurt them. My friend thanked me for the gifts, she was very gracious. I kind of wish she'd taken the time to send me a Christmas card or nice e-mail in addition to her verbal thanks over the phone. Am I asking too much in the way of friendship or am I playing the fool? I think I need to regroup, revise my definition of friendship and take it from there. I've been reclusive in my personal life for so long that my common sense is being overshadowed by my eagerness to make new friends. That could be a recipe for usury. Looks like I'll be spending New Years Eve home alone. Such is life. Happy New Years "Women Retiring Alone"! May good friends enter your life as you enter theirs, sustaining one another as only true friends can.
 
Old 01-01-2013, 08:59 AM
 
1,569 posts, read 3,086,739 times
Reputation: 924
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairwinds View Post
Unfortunately, Mrs. "Belle of the Ball" did not come to her senses and invite me to her Christmas Eve party. I spoke with my friend who was invited and attended. She said she had a wonderful time and Mrs. "Belle of the Ball" was the consummate hostess, generous beyond belief, bestowing expensive gifts upon my friend. I have never encountered this kind of behavior before and I'm somewhat baffled by it. I can only assume that my neighbor is into playing mean spirited games for her own amusement and my best course of action is to remain neutral, cordial and distant. As for my friend who attended her party, I'm rethinking my relationship with her. If the situation were reversed, I would not have attended Mrs. "Belle of the Balls'" party, knowing that my friend wasn't invited. I gave my friend three heartfelt and wonderful gifts with a lovely handmade Christmas card containing a kindhearted personal message that I composed myself. I hand delivered the gifts and card to her home prior to Christmas. I cut my business trip short so that I could rush her and her cat to the emergency vet when she called me a few days before Christmas. (Her car is broken and she can't afford to fix it) She thanked me profusely and insisted upon treating me to dinner. I ordered one of the cheapest thing on the menu because I know how tight money is for her. (I was careful not to make it obvious) I'm so concerned about other peoples feelings I go out of my way not to hurt them. My friend thanked me for the gifts, she was very gracious. I kind of wish she'd taken the time to send me a Christmas card or nice e-mail in addition to her verbal thanks over the phone. Am I asking too much in the way of friendship or am I playing the fool? I think I need to regroup, revise my definition of friendship and take it from there. I've been reclusive in my personal life for so long that my common sense is being overshadowed by my eagerness to make new friends. That could be a recipe for usury. Looks like I'll be spending New Years Eve home alone. Such is life. Happy New Years "Women Retiring Alone"! May good friends enter your life as you enter theirs, sustaining one another as only true friends can.
I'm sorry it didn't turn out how you would have liked. One of the things I like about the New Year is the time to look within and consider what you want in your life, who you want to be, and how you will work towards filling your needs. I've found accepting others for how they are with compassion and not wasting time on trying to change them works best for me. It's a waste of energy. Accept your neighbor as she is and move on--don't waste your time or thoughts on her. I picked up The Four Agreements again to read as a reminder, always liked "don't take anything personally."

If you only spend time with someone who behaves like you think they should behave it will be a disappointment and lead to aloneness. We all disappoint someone at some point with our behavior. Accept that your friend did the best she could and allow her to be friends with whomever she wants to without having to take sides. I've got two friends who don't like each other and I stay out of it. Naturally I don't hang out with people who are mean or abusive--my friends have good hearts.

I wish there were more words for "friend." Everyone has idiosyncrasies that don't jib with mine. I have one really good friend and several friends I enjoy spending time with for different things. It's been a slow process to get to this point (5 years.) They don't always behave like I think they should behave but I enjoy them enough to invite them on walks and to potluck/game nights. Things I like doing. I laugh at myself because one in particular I've said "I'm not inviting her again!" because I think she's self centered and thoughtless but then I get over it when I see her--she's fun and not mean-hearted in spite of my definition of thoughtfulness. When I get tired of organizing things for them I remember it's a decision I make because I get enough of what I need out of it, especially the hikes -- forces me to go for hikes when I invite someone along. I'm good at staying home and finding things around here to do.

Happy New Year All! May we keep our hearts and minds open to appreciate the small things that come into our life and work towards creating the life we want.
 
Old 01-01-2013, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,745 posts, read 4,222,137 times
Reputation: 6866
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dancingearth View Post
I'm sorry it didn't turn out how you would have liked. One of the things I like about the New Year is the time to look within and consider what you want in your life, who you want to be, and how you will work towards filling your needs. I've found accepting others for how they are with compassion and not wasting time on trying to change them works best for me. It's a waste of energy. Accept your neighbor as she is and move on--don't waste your time or thoughts on her. I picked up The Four Agreements again to read as a reminder, always liked "don't take anything personally."

If you only spend time with someone who behaves like you think they should behave it will be a disappointment and lead to aloneness. We all disappoint someone at some point with our behavior. Accept that your friend did the best she could and allow her to be friends with whomever she wants to without having to take sides. I've got two friends who don't like each other and I stay out of it. Naturally I don't hang out with people who are mean or abusive--my friends have good hearts.

I wish there were more words for "friend." Everyone has idiosyncrasies that don't jib with mine. I have one really good friend and several friends I enjoy spending time with for different things. It's been a slow process to get to this point (5 years.) They don't always behave like I think they should behave but I enjoy them enough to invite them on walks and to potluck/game nights. Things I like doing. I laugh at myself because one in particular I've said "I'm not inviting her again!" because I think she's self centered and thoughtless but then I get over it when I see her--she's fun and not mean-hearted in spite of my definition of thoughtfulness. When I get tired of organizing things for them I remember it's a decision I make because I get enough of what I need out of it, especially the hikes -- forces me to go for hikes when I invite someone along. I'm good at staying home and finding things around here to do.

Happy New Year All! May we keep our hearts and minds open to appreciate the small things that come into our life and work towards creating the life we want.
Wow! Lots of good observations and advice in your post.

Happy New Year, ladies! Above all, may this coming year bring us peace.
 
Old 01-05-2013, 07:47 PM
 
164 posts, read 591,583 times
Reputation: 78
Hello Everyone ,

New to this board trying to get my head together to think of an area where I like to move to for retirement .We now live in Fl. But want to move somewhere different .Not sure if I need a retirement community or what .My husband has cancer so I am at a loss as to where to go at this point . Fairwinds all I can say is you can not control others just yourself. That took me some time to learn. Hope you have a Happy New Year. To everyone else Happy New Year and hi .
 
Old 01-11-2013, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,130 posts, read 9,093,524 times
Reputation: 11545
I just found a terrific resource that is going to help me alot. Its a paperback (2012) just out and its called "The Single Woman's Guide to Retirement" by Jan Cullinane. Its got so many resources about places to settle, things to think about, and where a single woman over 50 can get help with her choices. And there are so many choices. Explains all the different types of options for living, reinventing oneself, and choices on how to spend your retirement days, either alone or with another person, man or woman. I will be spending my weekend trying to read the whole book, 300 pages, unless I can find someplace to buy it, since its from the library.
 
Old 01-11-2013, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,398,977 times
Reputation: 16288
Good info - PhxBarb
 
Old 01-11-2013, 10:48 AM
 
13 posts, read 168,748 times
Reputation: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
I just found a terrific resource that is going to help me alot. Its a paperback (2012) just out and its called "The Single Woman's Guide to Retirement" by Jan Cullinane. Its got so many resources about places to settle, things to think about, and where a single woman over 50 can get help with her choices. And there are so many choices. Explains all the different types of options for living, reinventing oneself, and choices on how to spend your retirement days, either alone or with another person, man or woman. I will be spending my weekend trying to read the whole book, 300 pages, unless I can find someplace to buy it, since its from the library.
You can always find "it" on eBay. *LOL*

The Single Woman's Guide to Retirement by Jan Cullinane 1118229509 | eBay
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