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Old 03-16-2013, 10:36 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,392,568 times
Reputation: 16283

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[quote=mzfroggez;28701548
my six year old grandaughter died that afternoon
i am persona non grata so i will grieve in my own way - i.e. i'm not expected to show up at the services - my ex finally called to let me know what was going on about the time she took her last breath
i doubt i will ever speak to the s.o.b. again
like i said, i am so in denial & angry & heartbroken at the same time
honestly do not know what will happen next week
right now don't care if the house goes through = the seller can pretty much shove it up his ..... and he probably shouldn't screw with me at the present time
i shouldn't put this all in the same post but this is definitely a life happens sort of week
if i stay analytical, i may actually make some good decisions as a result. right now, hoping for an earthquake to hit some very specific places and eat some people.......[/quote]

Hey Ms Froggie girl - I am so sorry about your grandaughter. How awful for you and the rest of the family. So young - so sad.

Now - this house Maybe this is a sign that you should walk away. It's tough to do when you've had your heart set on something but I would seriously be wary of the quality of home you're getting.

Hang in there and I also hope you have someone to lean on during all this.

 
Old 03-17-2013, 04:43 AM
 
404 posts, read 494,415 times
Reputation: 543
i dont know you but feel so bad for you. it's horrible to survive your grandbaby in any circumstance. i am so sorry for your loss.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))
 
Old 03-17-2013, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,975,704 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
Hey Ms Froggie girl - I am so sorry about your grandaughter. How awful for you and the rest of the family. So young - so sad.

Now - this house Maybe this is a sign that you should walk away. It's tough to do when you've had your heart set on something but I would seriously be wary of the quality of home you're getting.

Hang in there and I also hope you have someone to lean on during all this.
mzfroggez...

I totally echo Umbria's post. Your news is devastating, heartbreaking. All our prayers go out to you and your family. You need to take time to grieve in your own way, even from a distance. We hope you have someone to share this shock and comfort you.

Maybe you should walk from the deal. When things don't go smoothly it's often a sign from above that a mistake could be being made. You want to buy your retirement home from a decent seller, so that it feels right. If this doesn't feel right, it's your inner voice telling you to walk on.

Blessings to you, dear lady.
 
Old 03-17-2013, 05:39 PM
 
1,577 posts, read 2,202,242 times
Reputation: 2762
Quote:
Originally Posted by suz1023 View Post
i dont know you but feel so bad for you. it's horrible to survive your grandbaby in any circumstance. i am so sorry for your loss.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))
mzfroggez - I also don't know you but am so very sorry for the loss of your precious granddaughter.
 
Old 03-17-2013, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,124 posts, read 9,081,096 times
Reputation: 11545
Mzfroggez: I do feel so bad for you and now want to rethink my decision again to move far far away. I have some questions maybe you can help with:

Is buying a house in SC different than the state you came from? Here we put down a deposit, then ask for the inspection, then tell the seller what we want fixed within 10 days and if they say "no", have the choice to walk or get the price reduced. How did you get the closing so close to the inspection date? Usually the closing is delayed due to negotiations with the seller back and forth. Did your realtor help you along each step? And who was painting the house? Fixing stuff? I am confused. If the seller agrees to get the items fixed, I have the inspector come back and make sure the stuff was done. I don't trust anyone when it comes to buying (or selling) a house.

So very sorry you had these issues. Please let us know how you decide and what happens. Barb
 
Old 03-18-2013, 08:53 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
25 posts, read 26,844 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
mzfroggez...


Maybe you should walk from the deal. When things don't go smoothly it's often a sign from above that a mistake could be being made. You want to buy your retirement home from a decent seller, so that it feels right. If this doesn't feel right, it's your inner voice telling you to walk on.

Blessings to you, dear lady.

Ditto! I have always found that if there are too many roadblocks my higher power is trying to get my attention and tell me I am going in the wrong way. I am pretty stubborn so I usually have to have HUGE thumps to my head before I pay attention. Had I paid attention, I would have avoided so many mistakes.

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. It so difficult when someone passes, but doubly so when they are so young. I am sending love and light to you and your family.
 
Old 03-18-2013, 06:25 PM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,949,340 times
Reputation: 3901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tondra View Post
I have moved from North to Mid-South (NC) and I have not regretted my decision once. I am a divorcee, so I originally knew absolutely no one when I moved here and only had a minimum wage job. There are challenges no matter where you move. You really need to make a list of 'deal breakers' first and stick by them.

If you have any questions for me, I would be happy to answer them. As soon as my blog, Women's Radical Retirement, is completed, I would be more than happy to notifiy you that it is fully functional (just learning how to do web design...Yikes! Didn't realize it would be so complex. So it is slow learning curve for this older gal.)

Tondra
What a courageous thing to do! Please count me as an eager reader of your new blog! Will you let me know when it is up and running? I've got about five years to go - as the crow flies - and am seriously beginning to think about these matters. I do NOT want to drag on and on because I can't figure out what to do next, lol!

Thanks much.
 
Old 03-18-2013, 07:01 PM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,949,340 times
Reputation: 3901
Quote:
Originally Posted by iagal View Post
mzfroggez - I also don't know you but am so very sorry for the loss of your precious granddaughter.
My sincere condolences to you and yours. I hope you have a shoulder to lean on. Best to you.
 
Old 03-19-2013, 05:30 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,569 posts, read 39,952,759 times
Reputation: 23704
Quote:
Originally Posted by mzfroggez View Post
lol - you little carolinian, you.................

oh geez - if i had a few hours to cover all the twists and turns.................

.......
OK, nuff said;
Oh, MY... too much to digest / for You to handle!!! not the time to 'over analyze'.

Time to heal, step back, enjoy those last few breaths we are blessed with, and trust the right pieces will eventually fall into place.

I too am a 'mover and shaker', and seem to compound life issues by 'master planning' till I have 'No Margin'. Any snafu can torpedo MY plans and derail Progress... Then I learn (?) that MY PLANS do not make the world revolve, and it is usually ME that gets squished.

This is truly a time of tragedy and contemplation for you, and one where emotions can raise their ugly head (that's necessary to knock off those rough edges).

I truly hope you and your family heal and are able to contemplate the enormous scale of this loss. Makes most stuff seem very trivial. Unfortunately, the TRIVIAL takes it's toll too.

Please take a few deep breaths for me, and have a good cry (another...). You are in our thoughts and prayers, you are appreciated by many, I know you have tremendous passion, and have cared for many, including your late father. Indeed, a very Rough year 4 U . (Roller Coaster of emotion and location).

Our Best to mzfroggez, I can't even imagine the difficulty in losing a child or grandchild.

(Ironically, I was thinking of you today on a flight from TX to CA, a very delightful gal of similar statue and spunk was seated across the aisle, she added joy to the flight!.)

Please take care of yourself and your family! The house will keep. (and please don't over analyze, it just might be a very bad week. The right thing will work out, eventually (or YOU will get 'worked out' to recognize the right thing)

Last edited by StealthRabbit; 03-19-2013 at 05:39 PM..
 
Old 03-20-2013, 08:59 PM
 
Location: zippidy doo dah
895 posts, read 1,331,326 times
Reputation: 1928
To all of you sweet bearers of kindness, comfort and wisdom...........
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really did not mean to spill all of that out in the manner I did but you were all very kind in spite of the public purging. It all seemed to reach a peak and I probably said more things in that 24 hours when i did speak than I have said in a long time. Was actually a rather cathartic thing.....

But I didn't mean to hijack the thread so , please, all go on to discussing everything about retiring and all - I'll be back here shortly with some updates on the house situation and plans . Want to send some direct messages out so that I don't turn this, our wonderful quest thread here, into my seriously terrible very bad no good week(s) .

The house truly may be a dream I may have to let go because of the timing of everything else happening. and maybe that is a bit of divine intervention.

there is a song called "second chance" that is all about goodbyes and stepping out and while i was pretty weepy this weekend with knowing everyone was gathering together and here I sat totally isolated from it all and the one line of the song hit me like a ton of bricks " I just saw Haley's Comet , she said 'why you always running in place;even the man in the moon disappears, somewhere in the stratosphere'" - my grandaughter is named Haley & silly as it sounds, it honestly was as if she had paused as she headed out & really asked me that. There was a connection & a little six year old who now has an eternal perspective on life may have touched her baboo after all . I am going to take care of myself - not make any rash decisions and if the timing on what seemed terribly important gets trashed, then that is quite ok.

Love you guys and I'll be back shortly - no more fussing over me , you wonderful gaggle of girlfriends, you mob of kindred spirits. (i love the names for various animal groups) .....updates to come . Ok, segue back to women retiring alone to a new city/state
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