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Old 06-08-2013, 06:07 PM
Location: SE
25 posts, read 39,696 times
Reputation: 66


Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
I do wonder if I have the skills to meet new people regardless of where I am, but fear that moving somewhere new would only make things more lonely.

However, it gets old being alone and being in these places alone. I seem to do "alone" pretty well here in my dream house, working nights, living in the woods near the city, with (currently) five dogs. I venture to say there's no place that is good for women over 50 or so to find male company. It's tough.
I always wonder how one can plop into a community without connections or ties and feel part of things. Maybe it's a skill of a person, not the nature of the community.
Hi brightdoglover. I just saw this great thread. I did plop in a new community. I never had difficulty assimilating before and thought nothing of it. I also do well "alone". I planned on joining a few things and thought that would work. I made a big move once before. This time it didn't. Some areas are just more "open" than others, and for different reasons.
I think one has to be pretty confident and social to move to a new community without a built in social network. I was. But I also learned you really need to know the pulse of the community. I wasn't ignorant of where I moved, but I didn't give enough credit to the difference this time around. I guess just like matching preferences when dating, we need to look at the culture carefully for fit. As for "there's no place that is good for a women over 50, etc". I totally agree and I was not prepared for that either. I had not been single for many moons. Some awakening. Good luck to you. MoveNOn

Old 06-08-2013, 06:14 PM
Location: SE
25 posts, read 39,696 times
Reputation: 66
Originally Posted by totsuka View Post
I can understand the costs of CA driving you out. Too bad...such a pretty state....but here is some things I have noticed in living in FL, which some people call "God's waiting room".

- Many, tens of thousands of retired people move here with no friends, relatives etc...down here...either they arrive alone, or their spouse dies...they are having problems getting along and lock themselves away in their condo or home.....their support network is usually up North or elsewhere...which is not so bad until they get sick..then someone has to try and come down and help them...it does not work out too well...

- We don't have much in the way of public transportation...which many people don't care...until they need it....so I would suggest you move to an area that has a good public transportation system as a "back up" in case you need it.

- Medical care - go where your insurance will cover you. If all you have is Medicare, that is covered in FL, but going forward I think it will become a problem. Many doctors down here are complaining about the paperwork and not getting paid enough.

- Things to do. Florida is hot, humid, but few things to do. It's a problem. Even if you like to read and don't need to be entertained, it's boring here.

- I grew up in Ohio and often have thought about retiring up there when that time comes. I hated the
winters, but the rest of the year was nice. It is a more interesting, historic area up North, nice drives around that area etc....

- Have you considered staying "mobile?" I am sick of owning a home due to the maintenance, costs, taxes etc..and it's one big piggy bank. I don't see a need for anything more than a small 1 bedroom apartment, nice area, but always renting. I think my wife and I will stay mobile as long as possible. If one area starts to become dull or too expensive, we move...travel light...money in the bank, furniture is cheap and easy to buy used, sell...and off we go.

- The US is such a wide and interesting country that I want to see more of it.

- Possessions. One thing I noticed going to many estate sales is the vast amount of "junk" retired people
still have, drag down here. Tons of it. Go light, sell off everything that you don't need, cherish, put the
money in the bank.

Just some thoughts...retirement is coming for so many people that you are smart to look ahead.
Totsuka, great points about FL. Thank you. I do not want to move there because of the potential for hurricanes, but I always thought it was a haven for seniors because so many move there. I met a man recently who said he left FL six months ago and was going back because there was more to do there than here. It must really be dead. Good points about assistance for health. I recently had to have a minor surgery but I was not allowed to drive myself of take a taxi. I had to have a relative (none here), so someone I volunteer with offered. Practicalities of being alone. Thanks for the comments.
Old 06-08-2013, 06:31 PM
Location: SE
25 posts, read 39,696 times
Reputation: 66
Originally Posted by mzfroggez View Post
this was followed by a bone density scan, results to be in today, so maybe it will explain the non-existant height loss.......................................or maybe that machine also doesn't work correctly. i'd be laughing if my funny bone wasn't part of the three inches........................
mzforggez, I lost an inch in the last year and my bone density was done last year and was fine. Ask for a new machine for height.
BTW, I saw you are moving to SC. Best wishes. Tax wise it's a much better deal than NC. I know someone who moved to Sun City in Indian Land. She's older than me by 3 yrs and married, bought a huge house, and loves the huge amount of activities to chose from. But the size of the house and cost seemed out of my budget (and I want less dusting/cleaning, lower maintenance).
Old 06-08-2013, 06:46 PM
Location: SE
25 posts, read 39,696 times
Reputation: 66
Originally Posted by xz2y View Post
Sorry for the duplicate post. I posted this on another thread that was hijacked by a troll looking for love.... Maybe the info I put together is helpful to some posters here in discussions of costs in different states, especially those without income taxes.

The issue of income taxes vs sales taxes is very interesting.

You have to look at where your income comes from in retirement. Many (not all) people have lower incomes in retirement, a portion of which is from SS. Lower income taxes might not make that much difference to a retiree, while higher sales taxes do. Some states tax groceries,

My advice is to (1) do an estimate for a few states you are interested in regarding income and sales taxes, (2) take into account property taxes (reflected in housing costs both buying and renting), and (3) also look at the availability of doctors taking new Medicare patients. Another cost factor is utility costs. If you find cheap housing in a given location, you might end up having to run the AC 9 months a year, for example, so the housing costs are higher than first appear.

It's an evolving process that I actually enjoy.
xz2y, great post. I started looking at states with no income tax and when I started checking what they taxed in lieu of the state sales tax, I realized some would hurt more. Great reminders and suggestions. Thank you.
Old 06-10-2013, 01:40 PM
4,575 posts, read 7,066,289 times
Reputation: 4222
MoveNOn....would you mind sharing where you did move to (I see SE) but more specifically. You don't have to reveal the exact city if you don't want to but the state and more information about how you misread the culture. I'm thinking about moving to NC, but just don't think I would fit into a southern culture. Although I know triangle area isn't really very "southern" any more. I too do "alone" pretty well, mostly out of necessity, but I appreciate your comments on just how hard it is to fit in. An older woman without kids/grandkids around is not comfortable for alot of people, as far as socializing. I live in city (that was once just a suburb) outside of a bigger city now and being around a big city, can sort of blend in.

It seems that most of us on this particular thread know we don't want to/or can't stay where we are, but really struggle to find another "home".
Old 06-12-2013, 04:24 PM
1,975 posts, read 2,727,696 times
Reputation: 3507
Two questions:

Where would you live if you could afford it? (Please -- no San Francisco, New York, Boston or Los Angeles -- although suburbs of those cities are ok.)

Would you be willing to house share or apartment share -- with 2-5 other women your age if living in your dream town were a possibility if you did share?
Old 06-12-2013, 04:34 PM
2,627 posts, read 4,956,557 times
Reputation: 2225
If I could live wherever.....I would have at least two homes.....one where it is warm in the winter (Hawaii?) and the spring/summer/fall home in Indiana...

Sharing a place....might be a bit difficult for me. I have two dogs and will continue to have dogs as long as I am able to take care of them.
Old 06-12-2013, 05:53 PM
8 posts, read 8,709 times
Reputation: 16
I too have dogs and would like a community that embraced them but I need my own space. Hard to live 2 places with dogs . Although az and michigan sound good.
Old 06-12-2013, 08:24 PM
1,975 posts, read 2,727,696 times
Reputation: 3507
OK -- at some point, if we don't die suddenly, we're going to be in a nursing home. What if sharing housing would prevent that? Would you then be willing to give up your need for your own space NOW -- for a better future?

(NO one gets to use pets as an excuse -- everyone has pets -- adjustments can be made for pets. So we're not going to talk about pets right now.)

Last edited by Fran66; 06-12-2013 at 08:25 PM.. Reason: addition
Old 06-12-2013, 08:56 PM
Location: Sarasota Florida
1,236 posts, read 3,610,121 times
Reputation: 1230
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
Two questions:

Where would you live if you could afford it? (Please -- no San Francisco, New York, Boston or Los Angeles -- although suburbs of those cities are ok.)

Would you be willing to house share or apartment share -- with 2-5 other women your age if living in your dream town were a possibility if you did share?
If I could afford it I'd love to live in La Jolla, CA or Sausalito, CA and I don't think I would like to share my dwelling with any other women; maybe one compatible man
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