U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 06-28-2013, 02:42 AM
 
8 posts, read 11,238 times
Reputation: 26

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Missouri would be a big adjustment from Oahu. Give that one some though!

There are low cost options in most of the states (including Hawaii).

Just need to figure out what is best for you and your future needs. If you desire your kids to come and visit as adults, Hawaii might be best!

Colorado, NE TN, are desireable 'middle' USA with minimal weather events, yet still with 'seasons'.

Most Hawaii immigrants I know, end up in CA (not cheap either).
Yes, I'm definitely giving this decision lots of thought! Almost everywhere would be a big adjustment from Oahu, especially since I've been here 30 years. But low cost options are pretty hard to come by in Hawaii. Low property taxes go with pretty high property values.

Hmmm, okay, Colorado and NE Tennessee...good ideas for me to look into! Thanks!

 
Old 06-28-2013, 02:53 AM
 
8 posts, read 11,238 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dancingearth View Post
I remember when I first got divorced ('95) being freaked out about pumping my own gas! Never did it before. It gets better.

I am not mechanically minded so I still get frustrated with the mechanical things I have to do but determination to get it done gets me through it. It can take me several tries and lots of time to figure out how to get a curtain rod up so it doesn't fall out of the wall. I have every version of anchors out there. The new thing I'm learning now is how to slope a french drain. Digging I can figure out. ;-) Then it will be how to put the plastic pipes together. If I think too much about it I don't get started so I start at what I know I can do and then figure it out as I go. And I try not to think about how if I were a guy it would take me half the time. I also remember the sense of accomplishment when I get it done. Just don't say anything about the hook to hold back the curtain that is still loose on the wall because I couldn't get it anchored tight. Maybe the next time my son visits.....
Well, you sound way ahead of me mechanically (although I can dig too...the main water line from the street burst and I had to either pay a plumber $100/hr to dig down to the pipe, or do it myself!)...but french drains and plastic pipes, not so sure.
 
Old 06-28-2013, 03:06 AM
 
8 posts, read 11,238 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
I lived there twice, university-related, first time for two years (no kids), second time for seven years (with kids). Lived in central Missouri, a University town (Columbia) and liked it pretty much. It was two hours to Kansas City to the west and two hours to St Louis to the east, both cities with lots to offer. It gets hot as blazes in the summer, like most of the Midwest, and everyone has a.c. The university-related arts and cultural events were great. I would only live in a university-college town in the Midwest, as it's a vast place with cultural/arts events concentrated in certain areas. Plus, you want to live where your politics are in agreement with others, as it's pretty polarized in various areas. Missouri reminded me of France, same kind of topography in places, and it does have some vineyards along the rivers. It is the tornado thing that would keep me from going back, if I wanted to.
Thank you for this valuable information, newenglandgirl. You paint a picture (although I've never been to France), and it's helpful.
 
Old 06-28-2013, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,967,079 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastoahulady View Post
Thank you for this valuable information, newenglandgirl. You paint a picture (although I've never been to France), and it's helpful.
This is a good time of year to visit the Midwest, to see what the summer weather is like. I forgot to say that Missouri spring is heaven, fall lasts forever and is also heaven, and in winter though it can get cold and snow it's not intense, usually more mild. You don't bundle up from head to toe like in the North. And Missouri's got a wide range of culture, from high brow university events to fine historical reenactments and museums and some of the greatest fiddling fests ever. The best Renaissance Festival I've ever gone to was in Kansas City. I liked Columbia, Jefferson City (a bit more conservative), and many of the quaint historic river towns like Rocheport where there is live theater and a winery.
 
Old 06-28-2013, 08:59 AM
 
13 posts, read 14,884 times
Reputation: 17
Please add me in too, ladies! I'm in Texas right now and I'm tired of the heat, growing traffic jams and increasing rudeness of drivers. I'd love to be in the mountains, somewhere near water, because I love to fish. After a very bad marriage I'm not interested in getting involved with men. I have a lot of hobbies, interests, and of course, my dogs, to keep me occupied. Unfortunately I will have to depend on social security and a very small retirement, but I'd like to get into a position of not needing or wanting "things". Just more stuff to dust. LOL! I'd be interested in living in a small community of women.............say, have any of you heard of the "tiny house" movement? This would be ideal for some people (who, like me) want to live greener, and simpler livestyles.
 
Old 06-29-2013, 09:16 AM
 
27 posts, read 34,869 times
Reputation: 64
Oh my goodness. So many spouses who were financially and otherwise mistreated. That kind of betrayal has to be as painful as being widowed, I'd imagine.

Thanks for all of the kind comments, it's nice to know I'm not baring my soul in a vacuum. I am reading your stories, too, but mostly too exhausted to type the sympathetic thoughts in my head.

My mom went to her new Dr. on Thursday and the woman repeatedly berated me for leaving Illinois and moving my mother here. I am still in shock over the kind of things she said. She must be living in some kind of wonderful alternate reality bubble where nothing bad ever happens, people have loads of money, lots of family to help, and need not make difficult choices to survive. For the first time in my life I sobbed in public.

Right now I am on phone call #7 just trying to get a prescription they supposedly called in on Thursday night.

I am a bit slap happy from lack of sleep, my mom gets me up about every hour and a half during the night.

I did get a bit of a laugh in line at the pharmacy, when a proper young girl about 6 years old chastised two little boys about her age or younger for fidgeting in their seats in the waiting area. The funny thing is they listened to her and behaved.

I do have a longing for a sense of community. I've thought about buying into a life care community, where you start out in a house and age in place with the promise of assistance and health care further down the line. But I worry about the financial solvency of those arrangements.

My husband's aunt lives somewhere in Florida where it's communal living...you have to put in like 5 years of working daily, whether it's cooking, being the police officer, cleaning the streets, and eventually when you need help you are cared for in the nursing home. She seems to love it.
 
Old 06-29-2013, 11:07 AM
 
1,579 posts, read 2,199,114 times
Reputation: 2751
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
This is a good time of year to visit the Midwest, to see what the summer weather is like. I forgot to say that Missouri spring is heaven, fall lasts forever and is also heaven, and in winter though it can get cold and snow it's not intense, usually more mild. You don't bundle up from head to toe like in the North. And Missouri's got a wide range of culture, from high brow university events to fine historical reenactments and museums and some of the greatest fiddling fests ever. The best Renaissance Festival I've ever gone to was in Kansas City. I liked Columbia, Jefferson City (a bit more conservative), and many of the quaint historic river towns like Rocheport where there is live theater and a winery.
I've never been to Columbia, but had a conversation with my dentist not too long ago. He mentioned that he would have loved to have opened a practice in Columbia when he got out of dental school (many years ago, now in his early 60s). Columbia was his first choice to live. The only thing that stopped him was advice given to him from a fellow dentist that it was hard to break in as a dentist due to a "general" mentality toward dental care (i.e., guns and trucks over dental care ... but who knows, maybe his friend didn't want competition), but my dentist said the area is beautiful with a lot to offer (he's an avid hunter/outdoorsman).
 
Old 06-29-2013, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,119 posts, read 9,071,114 times
Reputation: 11540
Demi: I think you need to start looking for another doctor for your Mom immediately ! What right does any doc have to tell you where to live and treat you so meanly? I am stunned that she would tell you you should have stayed in IL. I hope you cried in her presence and made her feel as guilty as hell. For Pete's sake, you are going through enough without a supposed "professional"( and I use that term hesitantly,) giving you grief. I hope today goes better for you. Barb
 
Old 06-29-2013, 11:56 AM
 
1,579 posts, read 2,199,114 times
Reputation: 2751
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb View Post
Demi: I think you need to start looking for another doctor for your Mom immediately ! What right does any doc have to tell you where to live and treat you so meanly? I am stunned that she would tell you you should have stayed in IL. I hope you cried in her presence and made her feel as guilty as hell. For Pete's sake, you are going through enough without a supposed "professional"( and I use that term hesitantly,) giving you grief. I hope today goes better for you. Barb
Agree. This doctor doesn't sound like a "professional" at all, and totally out of line. Very cruel. Sorry you had to go through that, Demi.
 
Old 06-29-2013, 05:53 PM
 
Location: land of ahhhs
277 posts, read 298,184 times
Reputation: 489
Quote:
Originally Posted by demicent View Post
I'm trying to find pleasure in the little things. There is a river a couple of blocks behind my house with a trail through the woods, a small sandy beach and the dog loves it. I can only leave my mom alone for a few minutes at a time, she requires 24 hour care from me now. My goal was to get her to SC before she needed hospice care, and we just made it. See the doctor in two days and find out how I can get some help. Wish us luck.
Sorry about the horrendous experience with the new doctor. Don't let one bad apple get you down.
Some people on hospice are still "full code". I was puzzled by this, but apparently if you're on hospice status, you are eligible for home health care. I don't know the details, never checked tho' I suspect better payment situation, but it might be something to look into. Might keep mom at home longer, and give you some time with the dogs on that trail.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top