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Old 08-03-2013, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Florida
19,810 posts, read 19,905,205 times
Reputation: 23215

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bullie62 View Post
I'd be asking myself which group I couldn't live without, or rather, would make me the happiest. Family or friends? And a social life is important. Family usually doesn't give us much of that... except for holidays. *I'm making a generalization, so please forgive*

I'd stay around friends, most definitely. And I'm sorry to read about your husband....



bullie~
Thank you.
Have to edit because I read that backwards.
Nah...the family is fine...not overwhelming ..maybe just about right .
And the friends are more numerous in Fl but that doesn't mean they are as 'good' necessarily...not with the familiarity that comes with history.
See.....sheer indecision.

 
Old 08-03-2013, 01:50 PM
 
Location: WA
605 posts, read 556,658 times
Reputation: 2050
For myself, the first year for me, after 41 years with DH, intense grief, very busy, thought I was doing all right. Intense grief as I look/reflect back. Now, trying to decide, possibly
what to do next. For now,Trying to clean each room of possessions I no longer need or have need of.

DH had stage 4 cancer, we knew in our heads last illness, though our hearts would not accept it. We did in our last six months together, prepare necessary paperwork, make
final preparations for us, he showed me how to operate the coffee maker and dishwasher!

As I had heard before, do wait at least a year before you make a decision.

Not to be a downer, just trying to assist you.
 
Old 08-03-2013, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Nowhere near Chicago
437 posts, read 555,334 times
Reputation: 385
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Thank you.
Have to edit because I read that backwards.
Nah...the family is fine...not overwhelming ..maybe just about right .
And the friends are more numerous in Fl but that doesn't mean they are as 'good' necessarily...not with the familiarity that comes with history.
See.....sheer indecision.
First, sera, I'm sorry to read about your husband.... you have my compassion....

old_cold, I could offer advice, as any of us could, but we don't know the dynamics of your family life, how close you are to your friends, what weather you would rather live the rest of your life with, if you have super close friends you cannot see not seeing much of, if at ALL anymore, and same same for some family members.

Your dilemna is not one I envy. I'm not bound so much by either, because my disease(s) has left me quite alone. My "friends" love me from a keyboard....

No one of us is able to say "listen to your heart", when your heart is tied to two places. As sera said, take your time in making this decision.

For ME, I'm vacillating between places, and whether or not I want to live in a trailer that moves, or a condo that can be cared for by an HOA. Something to be said for getting in an RV, and either finding a home in it, or traveling when healthy enough. At 51, single, fit and attractive, *said humbly*, I'm not gonna make many friends at this stage.... so I have to weigh those odds. Traveling when I'm able might be the best "move" for me. *shrugs*



bullie~
 
Old 08-04-2013, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Florida
19,810 posts, read 19,905,205 times
Reputation: 23215
Oh thank you but I'm not really expecting anybody to be able to help me decide...there are too many factors to consider.
But reading what you all have to say and what your experiences are does help since we all share some of the same concerns.
My biggest hope is, of course, that it won't be anytime soon that being alone will be an actuality. It's more likely (and would be my preference) that I'll be hanging around on caretakers forums than this one. It's just that it's something as common as catching a cold could do it as well as his wishes not to prolong things, if possible.

Bullie, the traveling sounds interesting and maybe a lot more fun if you're the type of person that can do it.
 
Old 08-06-2013, 09:52 AM
 
Location: Jamestown, NY
7,841 posts, read 7,331,482 times
Reputation: 13779
Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbria View Post
https://www.women-traveling.com/Trav...9/Default.aspx

This looks like an exciting opportunity for some of you. This group would be fun to travel with and for some of you, being a tour leader would be ideal.

They go to lots of fun places all over the world. I plan to take one of their trips once I get settled at my next stop.
Thank you for the link.
 
Old 08-09-2013, 11:12 AM
 
71 posts, read 129,193 times
Reputation: 67
Please look for and join my "Best Places to Retire" Group on LinkedIn! We just launched today!

John Wilson
 
Old 08-10-2013, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Nowhere near Chicago
437 posts, read 555,334 times
Reputation: 385
Knoxville, TN

Lexington, KY

Portland, OR

Does anyone here have anything they know, personally, about these areas? I'm looking at so many sites, online, my fingers are burnt. lol



bullie~
 
Old 08-11-2013, 10:31 AM
 
Location: mid wyoming
2,008 posts, read 6,043,147 times
Reputation: 1878
If we don't stay in Wyoming we will go to Alaska, second choice is Montana. We like the lifestyle of the people and enjoy it. I would like to be close or even on a Indian Reservation.
 
Old 08-13-2013, 12:40 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,592 posts, read 39,962,822 times
Reputation: 23726
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowwalker View Post
If we don't stay in Wyoming we will go to Alaska, second choice is Montana. We like the lifestyle of the people and enjoy it. I would like to be close or even on a Indian Reservation.
All three states have options, on or near Reservations. WY only has ONE choice and is not near where I would consider living http://img.docstoccdn.com/thumb/orig/14162647.png I do have friends in Riverton, Lander and Thermopolis. Some like it REALLY well.
MT and AK LOTS of choices and MUCH better lands. AK is a GREAT choice for living / retirement if you are prepared and desiring the issues that come with the territory.

I would add SD, ID and WA as pretty similar and more diversity in climate / tribe choices. I have many teacher, medical, and NFS friends who have lived on or near reservations. Everything has it's challenges and benefits. Do what works best for you.

WY is ALWAYS my first choice but will NOT be happening in my current life. (I have been there 3 times in last 5 days .) Currently in NoCo enjoying 'home', that can never be home again. (left / forced out by growth / costs 30+ yrs ago).

So many places, so little time... (and getting less time daily).

I'm enjoying them all ;-)

Quote:
Knoxville, TN (Researched this for 5 yrs and 5 visits), will probably end up with a 'seasonal' home in Kingsport. Knoxville continues in running, but I prefer mtns / closer to LESS people and more rural, yet good airport and colleges.

Lexington, KY (Nice, not on MY radar, due to no mtns or sea... I need cool sleeping nights / NO AC allowed in my house)

Portland, OR (Been NEAR here for last 32 yrs (10 - 20 minutes away but in WA) I go to Portland daily / weekly, but could never live there (OR politics, funding, and 'group think' culture + TAXES and RULES (portland centric) VERY tough on business and economy)

+++ PDX Airport (which I am closer to in WA than I could every be in OR (surrounded by industrial prop, yet WA has residential areas MUCH closer to PDX than OR, except for Dignity Village )

Culture / Activities / EDU (About 20 colleges nearby)

Shopping, I get LOTS of parts / unique products in Portland Metro
Food - Variety is HUGE (food carts / trucks + many MANY other choices)
Medical - HUGE network of excellent choices. (but too spendy for me, so I get 'fixed' in Thailand.)
 
Old 08-15-2013, 07:18 PM
 
47 posts, read 50,073 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tondra View Post
Eight years ago I was faced with a desperate economy in Michigan and my business was going downhill fast. I also had gone through a string of major personal losses and was ready for a change of scene. I sold approx. 70% of my personal belongings, bought a single wide trailer in a retirement park in NC (I was the youngest in the park--50) and began working in a Starbucks kiosk.

I have never regretted the move despite the daily struggles. I have now been in my new community for 8 years and have learned much about starting over in a totally strange place with no natural supports. I have also traveled solo to other countries and states on the cheap.

When I ran across this forum, I was pleasantly surprised to find women thinking about making a residential change. Boy, what I could tell you! However, I have learned so much, it would take too long to share.

I am starting a blog and informational website especially for older single women who have little to no retirement savings. It will provide information/inspiration to help them make the best decisions they can, reveal 'potholes' I have fallen in and teach others how to avoid them, best ways to save money, places to consider for a change of residence, what type of residence is the best fit for them, etc.

If you are interested in checking out my site, just email me and I will send you a link.

I have put this website on my favorites list and will try to come back as often as possible to answer any questions anyone may have about facing a 'radical retirement.'

Good luck to everyone!

Tondra

Tondra, I sent a message to you.. thanks
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