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Old 11-01-2013, 10:51 PM
 
Location: SW US
2,218 posts, read 2,034,108 times
Reputation: 3819

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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post

RE Downsizing... START TODAY.

by the front door you put three boxes, each with size relative to your new abode.
label them:
  • Give Away : (big box)
  • Throw Away ; (HUGE box... dumpster)
  • Put Away : (tiny box)
I've begun the process of doing this even though I am still not certain where or when I will be moving. Age is diminishing my already limited upper body strength and I don't want to have to carry along any more than I absolutely have to.

 
Old 11-01-2013, 11:06 PM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,924 posts, read 988,107 times
Reputation: 6931
Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother View Post
Well, as an outsider, I'd like to express the opinion that those of you who have created a friendship circle from years of posting here - please do create your own separate group somewhere, so that those of us who are interested in discussing the issue of retiring alone to a new city/state can do so without drowning in a quagmire of inner circle emoting.

And since I've been reading a variety of forums on CD for two years now, I'd also like to express the personal opinion that I no longer believe a word StealthRabbit writes.

JaneSmith - you might be interested in reading and conversing in the Rural and Small Town Living forum. It's a friendly and welcoming forum and many of the posts might help you gain insight into why people choose to live in rural areas and small towns.
If I can maneuver the doldrums of old codger mathematics, surely you can skip through the quagmire of inner circle emoting. Its a big circle, and appears to me to be a welcoming one. Certainly there is proof of continued interest in the original topic. New people continue to contribute their stories.

I don't understand why talking about our lives after retirement is off topic.

Retiring is about more than money.

I always like the threads where the old men start worrying about the women getting too excited

I gave away and threw away so much when I moved. Sometimes I miss a tool or garden pot I left behind, but then I think, "where would I put it?". I have been here 3 years and I am still getting rid of things that I paid someone to move. Once you get started, its hard to remember why it ever seemed necessary to house so much stuff. I am ruthless.
 
Old 11-01-2013, 11:41 PM
 
26,589 posts, read 52,267,707 times
Reputation: 20410
My neighbor is 100 and has been a widow for 24 years... her only child lives several States away and she seriously considered moving to be close to her...

She gave it a lot of thought and decided to stay in the home she and her husband bought in 1958 in Oakland CA...

It's paid for and she is comfortable knowing her way around... has a regular taxi for doctor appointments and her granddaughter would order groceries from Safeway online for home delivery.

Really quite amazing to be independent at 100 and living alone in your of 50+ years.

Also, her home is well maintained... she is still sharp as can be when it comes to business things and getting repairs done... and she has me to change the light bulbs ;-)

So at least one widow that was all but set on moving to the midwest and decided to stay put and so far so good...
 
Old 11-02-2013, 12:10 AM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,948,466 times
Reputation: 3901
Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother View Post
JaneSmith - you might be interested in reading and conversing in the Rural and Small Town Living forum. It's a friendly and welcoming forum and many of the posts might help you gain insight into why people choose to live in rural areas and small towns.
I'm pretty certain I'm up on why rural living suits my personal preference. Unless it's been deleted, I outlined my reasons in the post. Aw, heck - I repeat myself all the time anyway, I'll just adopt the habit and call it part of my charm...

For me, it's because you can have a sort of extended family (unless they all pick you out as a city slicker and spend the next five years doing their best to drum you out). I lived for awhile in a small town when I was younger - but I know now that I was riding the coat-tails of well-regarded relatives who had been there for a long time. Quite naturally (being young and dumb), I figured it was because I was just a likeable person. Seriously, 'Community' is what we all seek - especially women alone. The possibility of community is stronger in less populated places. Plus, the dog walking is safer. When I have dogs (again), it will be so much more enjoyable to walk with them when we're not all frying our tootsies on a city sidewalk. Where I was before had tons of adjacent state forest. I'd take the dogs on a Sat morning, and we'd all just go exploring. If we got lost, fine - nobody was going to die. Land values being what they are, you could be sure of working your way round to somewhere you could ask directions. If we walked in, we could walk out... I felt both safe (with two biiiig dogs who liked to explore - and who LIKED being all connected on a leash with me) and adventurous. It was terrific!

It was pleasant, seeing the people I went to church with at the grocery store. Plus, I like being around the sheer competence of practically-minded people. Rural areas tend to have lots of people who are self-reliant out of necessity, know how to appropriately size an emergency, don't thrive on drama, etc.

Now I am older and wiser. In the places I'd want to move, I probably won't know anybody. I'll have no 'halo' effect from friends or kin, and I now know what a difference that makes. Won't stop me from going - but it would be good to know how to avoid the 'city slicker' syndrome. And it would be VERY good to know how to avoid the borderline hostility I witnessed against older women there, who did not have the benefit of standing. It was pretty bad. If I were the target, it would put me in mind to slit my wrists and be done with it. Once people made up their minds about you, it was game over, pretty much.

When I retire, I'd be an ez target, as an introverted bookworm with an academic pedigree. I'm not dumb enough to talk about it, and it would not come up during the course of ordinary conversation. It would be duly noted that I am inept with a hammer, keeping a woodstove running reliably, putting in a garden, and cooking a chicken from scratch (that is, from when it is scratching in the yard). If I ever get into a Scrabble game, I'm outed.

I already know what I know. What interests me is what I DON'T know. Why OTHER people like the idea of retiring in rural areas - or not. And how to avoid having a bulls' eye on my back.
 
Old 11-02-2013, 12:22 AM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,948,466 times
Reputation: 3901
Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother View Post
please do create your own separate group somewhere, so that those of us who are interested in discussing the issue of retiring alone to a new city/state can do so without drowning in a quagmire of inner circle emoting.
For your information, this WAS our own separate group somewhere, until it was hijacked and diverted under a false flag. Now we endure platitudes masquerading as insight given from on high. Or worse, whining. Please help me understand how your observation above, for example, adds to the general level of knowledge, insight and awareness?
 
Old 11-02-2013, 12:27 AM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,948,466 times
Reputation: 3901
Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother View Post

And since I've been reading a variety of forums on CD for two years now, I'd also like to express the personal opinion that I no longer believe a word StealthRabbit writes.
Dispute the facts, not the person. Got any facts to dispute, point by point, the way it's done in polite company, so that the audience might benefit from a fair and balanced exchange?

(*crickets*)

Thought so.
 
Old 11-02-2013, 12:54 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,655,251 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by jane_sm1th73 View Post
Dispute the facts, not the person. Got any facts to dispute, point by point, the way it's done in polite company, so that the audience might benefit from a fair and balanced exchange?

(*crickets*)

Thought so.
Thank you and may I also add the CD rule that supports your statement:

"Be civil, no personal attacks, flaming, or insults. We may attack ideas (politely) but we do not attack the speaker of the idea. Be careful with your words, there is a point where being direct crosses a line into blunt, in-your-face hostility. Please, report bad posts instead of engaging in flame wars on the boards. Insulting another member or a moderator will not be tolerated anywhere on this website. This includes Direct Messages and Reputation Comments."
 
Old 11-02-2013, 06:21 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,745 posts, read 4,215,210 times
Reputation: 6866
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
My neighbor is 100 and has been a widow for 24 years... her only child lives several States away and she seriously considered moving to be close to her...

She gave it a lot of thought and decided to stay in the home she and her husband bought in 1958 in Oakland CA...

It's paid for and she is comfortable knowing her way around... has a regular taxi for doctor appointments and her granddaughter would order groceries from Safeway online for home delivery.

Really quite amazing to be independent at 100 and living alone in your of 50+ years.

Also, her home is well maintained... she is still sharp as can be when it comes to business things and getting repairs done... and she has me to change the light bulbs ;-)

So at least one widow that was all but set on moving to the midwest and decided to stay put and so far so good...
I've been thinking a lot about that lately. I purchased my home from the estate of an elderly lady who lived alone, in the same house she and her husband raised their children. The interior of the house had peeling paint throughout and the garage was leaning because of termite damage. I'm guessing she ignored it all and lived a simple but content life. She had a stroke while gardening and died shortly thereafter. My neighbor told me that she took the widow grocery shopping and to other appointments.

I also know of a lady (through a friend) who had dementia but lived in a senior apartment, independently, until she reached her mid 90s and needed 24/7 care. She continued to grocery shop even while she was demented. My friend said that although she was demented, she was content with her life and enjoyed the simple things in life such as a beautiful sunrise.

I discovered that there is a company that delivers fully prepared meals for those who can no longer cook. The meals can be ordered online, so the senior who is no longer able to handle internet shopping can have a relative easily order the meals. Not cheap, but something to consider.

As one of our favorite posters once mentioned, living in a familiar environment has a lot going for it. I would imagine many would find familiar environs comforting and it is certainly something I am considering.
 
Old 11-02-2013, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,018 posts, read 17,729,443 times
Reputation: 32304
Default Delivery of meals

Quote:
Originally Posted by lenora View Post
I discovered that there is a company that delivers fully prepared meals for those who can no longer cook. The meals can be ordered online, so the senior who is no longer able to handle internet shopping can have a relative easily order the meals. Not cheap, but something to consider.
My mother (now deceased) who lived alone got to the point where she was unable to reliably prepare meals for herself. There were two good choices available to her: Meals on Wheels and a service provided by her church which delivered meals. However, after a short trial period, she refused to have either one, saying that the food was "too spicy". My sister and I eventually concluded that was just an excuse, and that the real reason for the refusal was our mother's denial that she was at the point of not being able to do such a basic task for herself.

Her nutritional needs were not being met, and about the time my sister and I were beginning to despair, our mother caved and agreed to move into a retirement community where two meals a day were provided in a dinning hall as part of the rent. She actually liked that community and we felt fortunate.

So for some elderly, the acceptance of solutions such as having meals delivered depends on acknowledgement of the need for same. Stubborn fighting against the inevitable is understandable on one level, but is rarely productive. Having meals delivered, for example, is one way to stay in that familiar environment, as you point out.
 
Old 11-02-2013, 08:13 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisFromJersey View Post
I wish I found this site sooner. Because I just signed a contract on a house in Arkansas - I am sure moving from NJ will be a challenge. I tentatively considered lots of locations, especially Boulder CO because of its outdoor life style but decided the prudent thing to do was to move close to my daughter and her family - and grandbabies. I am a 68 year old widow still working in a professional position. I will work in Jersey until 12/2014 and them move. (It will take me a year to clean out all my stuff. What a daunting task.)
Welcome, and best wishes in this exciting move. The year will fly quickly and your probably have a lot to do. What part of Arkansas?
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