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Old 06-23-2014, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Virginia
95 posts, read 201,981 times
Reputation: 52

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Overcoming my fears..... I know I should probably start a new thread, but I have read and followed this one for ages. I am just under a year from when I'll retire.... if I don't chicken out.

I'm going to visit 2 states that were suggested I would enjoy..... I have been downsizing a little bit; I have so much more to get rid of and toss out. I dont have to worry about moving all my furniture, as I don't have a houseful since I share with a roommate... I know I want to keep a lot of my craft supplies so I have something to do.... so what is my question, problem, fear, or indecision?

I'm afraid of doing this alone and overwhelmed... I have talked for over 12 years of leaving California (yes, I was born and raised in Calif)... I live in the desert heat and have lived my life on hold and felt alone even when I was married; and didn't do much because ... I made a lot of excuses, from hating the heat, too much traffic (takes to long to get places).... and I'm a homebody.

I am reading lots of positive and uplifting websites with "words of wisdom" such as taking one step at a time, enjoy the journey, happiness is not the destination but the journey....

I've already counted out how many days til I retire... and how many of those days are actual working days.... but I sometimes think I'm being foolish and should be happy and content right where I am.... but I'm not... why am I posting all this uncertainty ?

 
Old 06-23-2014, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
16,354 posts, read 10,337,852 times
Reputation: 28485
because it's a big step. 'Tomorrow' is a lot scarier than 'someday'.


You will do it. If you want.
 
Old 06-23-2014, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,973,893 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by skittles2u View Post
I'm afraid of doing this alone and overwhelmed... I have talked for over 12 years of leaving California (yes, I was born and raised in Calif)... I live in the desert heat and have lived my life on hold and felt alone even when I was married; and didn't do much because ... I made a lot of excuses, from hating the heat, too much traffic (takes to long to get places).... and I'm a homebody.

I am reading lots of positive and uplifting websites with "words of wisdom" such as taking one step at a time, enjoy the journey, happiness is not the destination but the journey....

I've already counted out how many days til I retire... and how many of those days are actual working days.... but I sometimes think I'm being foolish and should be happy and content right where I am.... but I'm not... why am I posting all this uncertainty ?
I cannot imagine being born and raised in a place, esp California (which has so many draws), and now contemplating a new location. Do you mean out of state, away from the coast?

A retirement move can be overwhelming even with a partner, let alone going it alone. Do you know anyone at all in other locations that you'd consider moving to? Do you have the resources to travel to some of those places to get a feel? If you have vacation time while still working, hop on a plane after doing some research and try out one place. After visiting several, you may find, like I did (for now anyway), that "home" is the best option, but you won't know that till you get your feet on the ground and go exploring.
 
Old 06-23-2014, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,973,893 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by skittles2u View Post
C'ville ~ seriously explored in 2007. A real college town with downtown jammed with college students, a little much when we were there (it was some big weekend for something and we couldn't get a hotel within the city limits). My sister lived there a few years when her DH was in the military. She said it can get insufferably hot in the summer months. We found the inner-city driving to be congested and not all that easy to get around now, let alone old(er) age. The one thing that I was really impressed with was the senior center, quite a place, almost like a college, within the city limits, and seemingly lots of senior housing.

Is this "Charlottesville, VA" you are talking about? I'm going there in August to see about the area.

Also, to the person who posted that small, portable house, I love the looks of them, but the thing that concerns me as I get older is that I'd have to take steps up to a bed, and some of them appear more than 1 or 2 steps... any one have any experience with the steps or climbing to get to the bed?
Your first paragraph, above, was written by me. Yes, Charlottesville. It's a nice area so look at towns around C'ville. Also Abingdon, VA, since you're an artist. And Northeast Tennessee (based on posters' comments).
 
Old 06-23-2014, 04:45 PM
 
2,626 posts, read 4,951,557 times
Reputation: 2224
Quote:
Originally Posted by skittles2u View Post
Overcoming my fears..... I know I should probably start a new thread, but I have read and followed this one for ages. I am just under a year from when I'll retire.... if I don't chicken out.

I'm going to visit 2 states that were suggested I would enjoy..... I have been downsizing a little bit; I have so much more to get rid of and toss out. I dont have to worry about moving all my furniture, as I don't have a houseful since I share with a roommate... I know I want to keep a lot of my craft supplies so I have something to do.... so what is my question, problem, fear, or indecision?

I'm afraid of doing this alone and overwhelmed... I have talked for over 12 years of leaving California (yes, I was born and raised in Calif)... I live in the desert heat and have lived my life on hold and felt alone even when I was married; and didn't do much because ... I made a lot of excuses, from hating the heat, too much traffic (takes to long to get places).... and I'm a homebody.

I am reading lots of positive and uplifting websites with "words of wisdom" such as taking one step at a time, enjoy the journey, happiness is not the destination but the journey....

I've already counted out how many days til I retire... and how many of those days are actual working days.... but I sometimes think I'm being foolish and should be happy and content right where I am.... but I'm not... why am I posting all this uncertainty ?
If you are unhappy with living in California, I say 'go for it'! I have lived many years 40+ in south Florida, mainly for my job. Nearing retirement and I definitely want to leave the state. I've done a little traveling - road trips with my two dogs- and loved it! There are other places where I can feel happiness....and there are places for you if you are unhappy where you are living currently. Sometimes we need 'adventure' in our lives to perk us up and renew our spirit. I worked with a travel agent with AAA and she made all my hotel reservations. It was so easy and no charge for the trip planning. I liked having my dogs with me....they are a topic of conversation when I meet people and a true joy in my life. They also serve to protect me.

It does take some courage to begin, but once I was heading north on my trip, I began smiling and enjoyed every minute. I wish you luck.
 
Old 06-23-2014, 04:54 PM
 
4,481 posts, read 4,742,235 times
Reputation: 9940
Quote:
Originally Posted by popcorn247 View Post
If you are unhappy with living in California, I say 'go for it'! I have lived many years 40+ in south Florida, mainly for my job. Nearing retirement and I definitely want to leave the state. I've done a little traveling - road trips with my two dogs- and loved it! There are other places where I can feel happiness....and there are places for you if you are unhappy where you are living currently. Sometimes we need 'adventure' in our lives to perk us up and renew our spirit. I worked with a travel agent with AAA and she made all my hotel reservations. It was so easy and no charge for the trip planning. I liked having my dogs with me....they are a topic of conversation when I meet people and a true joy in my life. They also serve to protect me.

It does take some courage to begin, but once I was heading north on my trip, I began smiling and enjoyed every minute. I wish you luck.

Amen!!
 
Old 06-23-2014, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Virginia
95 posts, read 201,981 times
Reputation: 52
popcorn, thank you so much for a positive response... I am going to visit places in both PA and VA in August, so maybe I'll feel like I'm doing the right thing after a visit. I've vacationed in PA and Ohio before and love the areas, but that was probably 15 years or so ago.

and newenglandgal, even though I am california born, the areas that are cooler weather wise are too expensive to live and i have (not) tolerated the summer heat for many years, so I feel I need to at least try what I've always said I wanted.

The reason for considering (PA and VA); is I have always felt i wanted to leave California (due to summer weather), and didn't really have a preference. I visited Oregon and Washington, and just felt so uncertain,that when a friend mentioned he had consulted with someone who does relocation consults, I just felt I had nothing to lose by listening to an opinion based on me specifically. Any way, maybe a little more than what this thread is about, but I guess just being alone I'm trying to second guessing and doubting myself and what I should do before I go looking.
 
Old 06-24-2014, 04:53 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,973,893 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by skittles2u View Post
The reason for considering (PA and VA); is I have always felt i wanted to leave California (due to summer weather), and didn't really have a preference. I visited Oregon and Washington, and just felt so uncertain,that when a friend mentioned he had consulted with someone who does relocation consults, I just felt I had nothing to lose by listening to an opinion based on me specifically. Any way, maybe a little more than what this thread is about, but I guess just being alone I'm trying to second guessing and doubting myself and what I should do before I go looking.
You've probably discovered that City-Data here has a wealth of info on locations. Google "City Data ___________" and you';ll get a complete profile of a city and surprisingly many towns. These will show the demographic, including median ages and income, prices of homes, crime stats, etc. You can whittle down your list based on those findings.

But nothing beats being on the ground. In my search southerly out of New England, I was surprised at how many places had an allure, places that weren't on my "list" but that we meandered into giving ourselves leeway to roam and explore and follow hunches. On the flip side, several places being touted as retirement locations turned us off completely; we couldn't believe the reality in comparison with what we'd read online.

So allowing a lot of time for a trip was a good idea. We also had several realtors wear out their tires bringing us around to actually go into homes in our price range. Again, lots of surprises, mostly good ones. The housing including condos south of New England is so much more affordable and a lot of it newer construction, and at our age, that's a plus.
 
Old 06-24-2014, 01:33 PM
 
4,574 posts, read 7,058,318 times
Reputation: 4222
I'm in SoCal as well and have visited Virginia a few times...DC, Leesburg, Charlottesville and Richmond area. I will need to leave here eventually too because of the cost of living, Williamsburg is a retiree haven and on the coast but a bit pricey. New England is still my #1 choice, always has been, but don't know if I could really handle those winters again. I really love Virginia too but it's not that much less expensive than here, except for the Roanoke area. C-ville was really nice but a little too small and isolated for me, but that's just me. But not sure you would like the weather in VA or PA, it's very hot and humid in the summer and cold in the winter. Quite extreme for a SoCal person. I've been looking for many years but still haven't hit on the right spot yet but I won't give up PA is much more friendly tax wise for a retired person than Virginia.
 
Old 06-24-2014, 10:45 PM
 
29 posts, read 25,598 times
Reputation: 25
I am 43 and disabled/retired I am heading to florida alone and If I dont like it,maybe the Phillipine Islands.
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