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Old 05-03-2015, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,017,552 times
Reputation: 15649

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Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
After looking/thinking about Maine, as you know Neg, I have decided to stay in Va. but go south to Staunton. Close enough to Charlottesville and other bigger towns. I can't deal with New England winters and want to get away from the traffic and way too many people in the DC area. My mother who lives in Vermont is really wanting to leave there. She lived in Va. for many years so she is familiar with it. I wish I could do it now but not an option.
I love Maine dearly, but cannot move to a location that gives me the same kind of winters, so I understand.

Interesting that Staunton attracts you. We've made several trips there, and went around with a realtor. We like the location, and the town itself. There is a beautiful public park not far from Mary Baldwin College, a women's college. I really liked the downtown (our realtor's office was on Main St). The realtor took us all over and showed us all the up and coming arts initiatives. A little north in Harrisonburg is the James Madison U campus, on which we experienced the friendliest people and the freshest air we've ever smelled, just really nice. Two thumbs up.

 
Old 05-03-2015, 08:58 PM
 
Location: middle tennessee
1,927 posts, read 997,223 times
Reputation: 7025
For those of you thinking about a small college town...... graduation this weekend which means relative peace and quiet til fall.

I am always glad to see the students come back, but I enjoy the summers.
 
Old 05-04-2015, 04:05 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,535 posts, read 8,798,907 times
Reputation: 12243
One last word of advice: never make a move like this that you can't reverse at critical points, even if it costs more to do than the "cut and run" approach. The problem is risk: when we take an "all or nothing" approach to moving after retirement, we have to base our decision on expectations about the future. If these expectations turn out to be false, many people experience severe emotional and economic regret, sometimes irreversibly.

For example, if you are moving out of an area with a hot housing market, to your idea of paradise based on previous vacations, stays, etc., beware of selling your home and excess belongings without spending a longer trial period in paradise. Rent out your home for a year; store your belongings. If the dream comes true, sell your home and belongings from long-distance. If it does not, you can save a lot of money that would have been lost due to your previous, irreversible, decision.

My ex made the mistake of not doing this and sequentially moved to 2 paradises, both of which failed, before she moved back to her original place of departure and lost about 1/2 of her large net gain (almost a million bucks) on the house she sold, which is now worth $500,000 more than she sold it for in a very hot market that is now even hotter.

Lesson 1: make your plan robust to mistaken future expectations.
 
Old 05-04-2015, 05:17 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,017,552 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
One last word of advice: never make a move like this that you can't reverse at critical points, even if it costs more to do than the "cut and run" approach. The problem is risk: when we take an "all or nothing" approach to moving after retirement, we have to base our decision on expectations about the future. If these expectations turn out to be false, many people experience severe emotional and economic regret, sometimes irreversibly.

For example, if you are moving out of an area with a hot housing market, to your idea of paradise based on previous vacations, stays, etc., beware of selling your home and excess belongings without spending a longer trial period in paradise. Rent out your home for a year; store your belongings. If the dream comes true, sell your home and belongings from long-distance. If it does not, you can save a lot of money that would have been lost due to your previous, irreversible, decision.

My ex made the mistake of not doing this and sequentially moved to 2 paradises, both of which failed, before she moved back to her original place of departure and lost about 1/2 of her large net gain (almost a million bucks) on the house she sold, which is now worth $500,000 more than she sold it for in a very hot market that is now even hotter.

Lesson 1: make your plan robust to mistaken future expectations.
Before making any move, I would first identify the risks. They could be any one or more of many, like financial, leaving behind family and friends, winding up alone in a faraway place if now single or if spouse dies first, support systems that may be compromised by the move, lesser medical options, etc. It may be better to stay put and visit "Paradise" (wherever that may be) several or more times a year.
 
Old 05-04-2015, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,535 posts, read 8,798,907 times
Reputation: 12243
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl View Post
Before making any move, I would first identify the risks. They could be any one or more of many, like financial, leaving behind family and friends, winding up alone in a faraway place if now single or if spouse dies first, support systems that may be compromised by the move, lesser medical options, etc. It may be better to stay put and visit "Paradise" (wherever that may be) several or more times a year.
Our analyses of future risks don't always turn out to be right and there are ways to protect oneself from these mistakes. It's not free, but if you make a wrong guess about the future, the costs can be much greater.
 
Old 05-05-2015, 06:37 AM
 
130 posts, read 264,161 times
Reputation: 234
Here is another list to consider as retirement "paradise" --http://www.virtual-strategy.com/2015/05/01/real-estate-and-relocation-expert-marian-schaffer-cites-seven-coastal-locations-southeast?page=0,1#axzz3ZGE42HPw .

I know about Cape Charles because I've lived there for 3 years -- it's a small "paradise" and I plan to return in maybe 5 years, when other siblings are ready to retire. One is there already, but two others are planning to join. That's something I'm looking forward to, but for now, I've found my paradise in Richmond, VA, after agonizing over where to move when my apartment in Cape Charles was sold by the owner and I had to make a quick decision. I wanted to have my own place and Cape Charles apartments (at least at this time) are few and mostly privately owned. The town gets better and better and has vibrant summer cultural events. As of this writing, two apartment complexes are being built, so that's good news. I can afford a nice apartment and don't want the headache of home ownership, so I'll be a renter for as long as I can.

Why Richmond? It's the most affordable city I could find that meets my checklist (after accounting for certain compromises that I can live with). Richmond has changed for the better since I visited it in 2010 and it's an affordable city with plenty of cultural events and amenities, city services, besides being steeped in history.

I think part of the reason why people are paralyzed by indecision is the fear of the unfamiliar. The other reason is the fear of being alone (more on that later). You'll never really "know" a place until you live there for a few years. And there's no such thing as forever. We like our comfort zones and find all sorts of excuses not to change and expect the same things that we've been accustomed to in our old place. I know that from experience. You need to be flexible and realistic, and weigh your compromises. Don't look for perfection if funding your paradise is an issue, which is usually the case. Making a decision will be easy if money were not a factor, right? So, I think we ought to come down to earth.

Banish the thought and fear of dying alone (or just the idea of dying), because wherever you are, you will die alone, unless you control the movements of your friends and family and can demand their presence on your last breath. And death, like taxes :-), is inevitable. What you need to focus on is what will give you contentment and joy while you're alive without the frequent need of a constant companion. If you have hobbies or other interests besides seeking the company of friends and family (who will not always be there when you need them), being alone is not a punishment as long as there are opportunities around you for social interaction when, repeat WHEN, you want it. Just don't make that "when" too frequent, or you'll be back in square one, which means you are hopeless.
 
Old 05-05-2015, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 19,017,552 times
Reputation: 15649
Quote:
Originally Posted by hazfora View Post
Banish the thought and fear of dying alone (or just the idea of dying), because wherever you are, you will die alone, unless you control the movements of your friends and family and can demand their presence on your last breath. And death, like taxes :-), is inevitable. What you need to focus on is what will give you contentment and joy while you're alive without the frequent need of a constant companion. If you have hobbies or other interests besides seeking the company of friends and family (who will not always be there when you need them), being alone is not a punishment as long as there are opportunities around you for social interaction when, repeat WHEN, you want it. Just don't make that "when" too frequent, or you'll be back in square one, which means you are hopeless.
One of the best things I've ever read on CD. Priceless words!
 
Old 05-05-2015, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,700 posts, read 3,268,911 times
Reputation: 12062
hazfora: You wrote a very interesting post. Thank you. Lots of food for thought.

My plan is to move to Winston-Salem, NC by end of August when my lease here in CNY is up. It won't be my first move, I've moved quite a lot, the farthest being TX. But I do hope it will be my last. If I should suddenly find a bankroll somewhere, I would probably reconsider that.

This week I've had a bit of fear about it. I'm going by myself and know no one there. For the most part, I know I will do well in doing this. I make friends easily and am looking forward to meeting new people and discovering what W-S has to offer. I love the mountains so am pleased it's not a terribly far distance to drive. On occasion I like going to the ocean and that too will be do-able tho a bit farther to drive.

Of course this week I am feeling lonely and have asked myself what am I doing? If I feel lonely here, imagine what I'll feel like there. But time passes and the mood will change. I have felt more excitement about it than fear.

I know that if I allow fear to dictate what I do, I will regret it for the rest of my life.
 
Old 05-05-2015, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Cochise County, AZ
1,324 posts, read 841,779 times
Reputation: 2874
I used the Find My Spot quiz yesterday. The top 3 suggested areas were in Arizona followed by 3 areas in New Mexico. I have narrowed my search to two areas of AZ, but I may take a bit closer look at NM. It was nice to have a bit of confirmation though I did not need it.

Fell in love with AZ over 25 years ago and it's been calling to me since then. I've never visited NM so it may be interesting too

Last edited by Deelighted; 05-05-2015 at 03:52 PM.. Reason: spelling
 
Old 05-05-2015, 03:59 PM
 
Location: New Mexico
6,663 posts, read 3,707,485 times
Reputation: 12536
Dee - New Mexico is quite different from Arizona-- 2 million population statewide. The higher elevation - in general - keeps it cooler and a four season climate. Cost of living is quite low.
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