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Old 05-05-2015, 05:33 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 1,026,635 times
Reputation: 1997

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Quote:
Originally Posted by brava4 View Post
After looking/thinking about Maine, as you know Neg, I have decided to stay in Va. but go south to Staunton. Close enough to Charlottesville and other bigger towns. I can't deal with New England winters and want to get away from the traffic and way too many people in the DC area. My mother who lives in Vermont is really wanting to leave there. She lived in Va. for many years so she is familiar with it. I wish I could do it now but not an option.
Staunton is beautiful, can completely see why you'd love it there. Salem, VA is another favorite of mine.


Such a great thread; I'm out of reps, but you are all giving some excellent comments/advice/ideas!

 
Old 05-06-2015, 12:45 AM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,294 posts, read 3,339,186 times
Reputation: 4824
Default Some very insightful info in this Thread.................

Quote:
Originally Posted by hazfora View Post
.

..... >>>(SNIP)>>>...I think part of the reason why people are paralyzed by indecision is the fear of the unfamiliar. The other reason is the fear of being alone (more on that later). You'll never really "know" a place until you live there for a few years. And there's no such thing as forever. We like our comfort zones and find all sorts of excuses not to change and expect the same things that we've been accustomed to in our old place. I know that from experience. You need to be flexible and realistic, and weigh your compromises. Don't look for perfection if funding your paradise is an issue, which is usually the case. Making a decision will be easy if money were not a factor, right? So, I think we ought to come down to earth.

***Banish the thought and fear of dying alone (or just the idea of dying), because wherever you are, you will die alone, unless you control the movements of your friends and family and can demand their presence on your last breath. And death, like taxes :-), is inevitable. ***** What you need to focus on is what will give you contentment and joy while you're alive without the frequent need of a constant companion. If you have hobbies or other interests besides seeking the company of friends and family (who will not always be there when you need them), being alone is not a punishment as long as there are opportunities around you for social interaction when, repeat WHEN, you want it*****. Just don't make that "when" too frequent, or you'll be back in square one, which means you are hopeless.***
I've taken the liberty of selecting two paragraphs out of the total post by 'hazfora' as being IMHO, very well thoughtout, insightful and quite accurate. The last paragraph in particular 'puts into words' various 'thoughts' that I have had over these last ten years........and in some respects affirms some choices and realistic conclusions that I have come to accept without reservation.

Being in my 84th year on this earth (married 51 yrs, worked for forty, widowed 10 years and retired 22 years), I frequently look back on my life and realize how fortunate I have been. We moved (4) times cross country in 28 years and enjoyed each location.......Planning and research are mandatory!

One of the "keys" is contained in that portion of the last paragraph noted by the (5) asteriks I have used to 'highlight' those two very important sentences.....In addition, adequate "Planning"; do not make 'implusive decisions'; and utilize 'common sense' in all aspects of your every-day life..........and thus Living alone can work-out just fine.

I have never lived in a city or town (except for the first five years of married life). (36) years ago I built this home --12 miles from town-- that I still live in (26 years with my late wife and the last (10) as a widower.) I have every thing I need to give me the degree of contentment and enjoyment that allows me to 'look-forward' to everyday with a smile on my face:.....I have my dog Rex (who is a VERY important part of my every-day life); I am surrounded by 14 acres of land that is "loaded with abundant wildlife" which I enjoy tremendously; I have my hobbies:....handloading, target shooting, trap shooting, photography, cooking, reading, the internet and getting in the car and driving 12 miles into town to have breakfast, lunch or just coffee with 3 or 4 other "old foggies" 2 or 3 times a week. Although I miss my wife a great deal, I truly enjoy the peace, quite and solitude of living alone.....on my terms!!!

Health: Not every thing in life is on the "positive side of the ledger". We all have our share of "bumps-in-the-road":.......(5) majors surgeries related to Cancer and also being the sole survivor of a single vehicle, double-fatality auto accident and living with the effects of (15) major fractures can be a challenge, but a positive attitude, accept what you cannot change and don't ever forget: The Glass is always HALF FULL!!

CARPE DIEM, my friends................life is too short to "drink cheap booze and shoot ugly guns"

P.S. When you get to this age, you're allowed to "rattle-on" like this every couple of years
JMHO.............'flame me if you like'!!
 
Old 05-06-2015, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Sarasota Florida
1,236 posts, read 3,607,031 times
Reputation: 1230
Default Montana Griz ~~~

Your post is an inspiration I need to heed

My Oregon country home has been on MLS for 16 months and now recent revelations make me think selling it will be even more difficult. I need an attitude adjustment to bloom where I'm planted or persist in the relocation to Florida effort. Decisions don't come easy at my age
 
Old 05-06-2015, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,654 posts, read 3,237,575 times
Reputation: 11907
Montana Griz --- Enjoyed reading your post. You said it so well. I think once we hit a "certain" age, it can be a beautiful time in our lives. We have lived long enough to experience a lot of things, some wonderful, some not so much. Those "bumps in the road" you speak of give us a wisdom no one can get any other way. How we handle them is the key to a good life. A lot of life really is our mental outlook on things. Learning to laugh at the downs in life is a gift.

I was engaged a long time ago to a fellow who shot trap, loaded his own ammunition, enjoyed black powder shooting, and of course hunted and fished. He also did some trapping. In those ways he was a true gentleman, which I think you probably understand what I mean. Unfortunately I met him at the wrong time in my life. Two years divorced after lousy marriage, disturbing discoveries after divorce, left me so mistrustful of men. He was divorced, too, and had some hangups with women. It was just the wrong time for us both and we (me) could not make it work. He is married now while I remain quite single.

So I am planning end of August move from NY to NC with anticipation of what I like.... the outdoors, Mother nature, the beauty of NC. When I was younger I used to think about traveling to MT; it seemed so beautiful (via pictures and movies) and I loved the idea of wide open spaces, blue skies, horses, etc. Never got there.

CARP DIEM!! --- absolutely!
 
Old 05-06-2015, 11:14 AM
 
Location: NC Piedmont
3,911 posts, read 2,876,213 times
Reputation: 6291
I think the vast majority of people who will be happy staying where they are know it. If you are thinking about it and reading and/or posting in this thread, I would say it is pretty likely you will be happier somewhere else. I don't want to bloom where I am planted; I want to bloom before I get planted.
 
Old 05-06-2015, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Sarasota Florida
1,236 posts, read 3,607,031 times
Reputation: 1230
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarvedTones View Post
I think the vast majority of people who will be happy staying where they are know it. If you are thinking about it and reading and/or posting in this thread, I would say it is pretty likely you will be happier somewhere else. I don't want to bloom where I am planted; I want to bloom before I get planted.
LOL CarvedTones ~ and there is merit in what you say I just hope my place can be sold before I'm planted
 
Old 05-06-2015, 01:34 PM
 
Location: land of ahhhs
277 posts, read 298,184 times
Reputation: 489
MontanaGriz,
Flame you? Shoot, I think we are soul mates and I would propose were I not a fellow contented single. Kidding aside, great post, as was the one you quoted.
 
Old 05-06-2015, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,654 posts, read 3,237,575 times
Reputation: 11907
Default Want to be planted outdoors

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarvedTones View Post
I think the vast majority of people who will be happy staying where they are know it. If you are thinking about it and reading and/or posting in this thread, I would say it is pretty likely you will be happier somewhere else. I don't want to bloom where I am planted; I want to bloom before I get planted.
Thanks for your post. I agree, blooming where you are rather than where you are planted, is my choice, too. I believe we can achieve that. I'm anxious to get it started.
 
Old 05-06-2015, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,654 posts, read 3,237,575 times
Reputation: 11907
Default Flame u

Quote:
Originally Posted by mastequila View Post
MontanaGriz,
Flame you? Shoot, I think we are soul mates and I would propose were I not a fellow contented single. Kidding aside, great post, as was the one you quoted.
I saw that, too, but did not know what it meant!!

I am a contented single but my mind can change.... I'm flexible like that!!
 
Old 05-06-2015, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,294 posts, read 3,339,186 times
Reputation: 4824
Quote:
Originally Posted by mastequila View Post
MontanaGriz,
Flame you? Shoot, I think we are soul mates and I would propose were I not a fellow contented single. Kidding aside, great post, as was the one you quoted.
..

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
I saw that, too, but did not know what it meant!!
...

Thanks to all for the postive comments and reps.

I put that "flame me" statement at the end because after reading my entire post, the thought crossed my mind that it might be interpreted (by some) as a "boastful essay", and I wanted to convey that I was "open-to-criticism" if some folks thought it was warranted.

I also composed "my post" to some-what highlight the "positive side of life"---mine in particular.
My impression after reading many, many of the various Posts in the "Retirement Forum" as a whole,.......is that there is too much 'mention and emphasis' on "negative things", "problems" and looking on the 'dark' side of 'everyday-happenings' in our lives...................................To my way of thinking, that type of mental attitude is "self-defeating" and never solves a thing.....................On the other-hand, if one looks on the bright side of one's life as a "whole", and looks forward to every day as the "Beginning of The Best Days That Are Yet To Come"...............if one embraces that positive outlook, IMHO the benefit is obvious........................................... .................................................. .................................................. ....................

Just my opinion folks, it seems to have worked for me.
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