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Hey Versatile............... Check the date of the OP's post.......it's 8 years ago....she's now 67 and probably has "Blue Hair and wears a House Coat"
Hey Versatile............... Check the date of the OP's post.......it's 8 years ago....she's now 67 and probably has "Blue Hair and wears a House Coat"
Or could be neon blue hair and might be riding a Harley to Alaska to look up an old flame...
Because I haven't traveled to many places and think I should heed to the advice to not just - pick a place in Montana/Oregon/Washington/coastal Texas/xyz, that sort of leaves going back to my home state. I have almost no family and am not super close to them but they are there (a sister quite a bit older and an nephew). There are only a few places there with a medical facility etc. to consider.
I spent a few days there last week and a few days the year before. It is hard to get a sense of a place since mostly what I do is drive around the countryside and bird watch etc. But....
this year I did pick up on the fact that yes, it is a summer resort area. People do retire there for that reason (well there is a LOT of winter and I suspect that people snowbird a lot). There is a certain kind of wealthy people in large numbers. If you met me you would not think I was insecure. And I'm fine with myself on my own. But the more contact I have the more my insecurities tend to kick in. The more contact I have with certain kinds of people the worse it is. Wealthy people, especially the socially conservative types are one of those groups I just end up feeling awful around. I'm not saying its their fault, its just what happens.
One of the reasons I thought - this is the place - is because there are a lot of new people landing there and so it is more open to new friends and people. I'm starting to second guess this. I have a tough time connecting with people though I don't know why. I think about it a lot but haven't come up with an answer. I try hard. If this isn't a place I think I will make friends I might as well go anywhere. I have a 360 days before I retire. I will not stay here.
Because I haven't traveled to many places and think I should heed to the advice to not just - pick a place in Montana/Oregon/Washington/coastal Texas/xyz, that sort of leaves going back to my home state. I have almost no family and am not super close to them but they are there (a sister quite a bit older and an nephew). There are only a few places there with a medical facility etc. to consider.
I spent a few days there last week and a few days the year before. It is hard to get a sense of a place since mostly what I do is drive around the countryside and bird watch etc. But....
this year I did pick up on the fact that yes, it is a summer resort area. People do retire there for that reason (well there is a LOT of winter and I suspect that people snowbird a lot). There is a certain kind of wealthy people in large numbers. If you met me you would not think I was insecure. And I'm fine with myself on my own. But the more contact I have the more my insecurities tend to kick in. The more contact I have with certain kinds of people the worse it is. Wealthy people, especially the socially conservative types are one of those groups I just end up feeling awful around. I'm not saying its their fault, its just what happens.
One of the reasons I thought - this is the place - is because there are a lot of new people landing there and so it is more open to new friends and people. I'm starting to second guess this. I have a tough time connecting with people though I don't know why. I think about it a lot but haven't come up with an answer. I try hard. If this isn't a place I think I will make friends I might as well go anywhere. I have a 360 days before I retire. I will not stay here.
I'm just speaking about myself, but I have had difficulty finding people who share my interests where I am currently living. I love hiking, looking at wildflowers, birding, wildlife, etc. I would love to picnic and perhaps go camping some.....something I haven't done in years. I live in the Miami area and people are of different ilk.
This spring I drove up to my hometown in the Midwest. Of course much has changed but there is so much to do up there that interests me. The vibe is so unlike that of south Florida, where glitz, glam, money and partying is the norm. This is so not me. There is also a wonderful university in the area, where I am an alumnus. I just have to get things done here, sell my house, and move.
During my work, I associated with many wealthy people who were volunteers. I was somewhat uncomfortable and put off by their really boastful ways - at least it seemed to me that they were boasting. I did feel bad around wealthy people, too. It is just not my 'crowd'.
Just speaking for myself, but I know from personal experience in my life that the draw to "go home" can be very strong, especially when we really don't know where to go. I've returned home more times than I'd like to admit and it's never worked out, I always end up moving away again and was the right thing to do. So I too struggle with that urge when I get discouraged about my retirement move. It's natural to want to be someplace familiar and easy. My situation is similar in that I have "family" there but we aren't close and probably will never be (not for lack of trying but I finally gave up) so I have to be very real about that. Anyway, I like that you went back recently and at least got a more current vibe about your old home town. I've found that my process in all this has forced me to think about who I really am now, in this new season of life, and I've had to do a lot of soul searching. It's hard for those of us who would be moving alone. And I imagine it's easier when you know the place you are now isn't right for you (like Miami, I can see why you'd want out of there), which isn't the case for me...my primary issue is COL. I gave myself a year after I retired to settle into retirement, not make any major changes, get used to Medicare, etc, and see how my budget actually held up. Now I feel somewhat more prepared to make the move...gosh I haven't made a major move since 1982! But I will be by November 2016, when my lease is up . Let's all hang in there!
I'm just speaking about myself, but I have had difficulty finding people who share my interests where I am currently living. I love hiking, looking at wildflowers, birding, wildlife, etc. I would love to picnic and perhaps go camping some.....something I haven't done in years. I live in the Miami area and people are of different ilk.
This spring I drove up to my hometown in the Midwest. Of course much has changed but there is so much to do up there that interests me. The vibe is so unlike that of south Florida, where glitz, glam, money and partying is the norm. This is so not me. There is also a wonderful university in the area, where I am an alumnus. I just have to get things done here, sell my house, and move.
During my work, I associated with many wealthy people who were volunteers. I was somewhat uncomfortable and put off by their really boastful ways - at least it seemed to me that they were boasting. I did feel bad around wealthy people, too. It is just not my 'crowd'.
Those are the things I like to do as well and the place I'm talking about, Traverse City MI, has that in abundance...4-5 months a year and more if you like snowshoeing, x-country skiing. It is not my hometown, it is 4 hours north of there and my 2 relatives. My sister seems sort of shocked that I would want to live up there, but I think that's because she had the pull of children and can't imagine beyond that which I understand. There is just as much nature due east in Alpena but without the wealthy retirees? there are not the land conservancies, nature centers and attendant volunteer opportunities to go out and pull non native plants etc. There is a lot of that in the TC area but not so much in smaller Alpena which is more your standard struggling economically depressed MI town where everyone pretty much grew up there is who lives there, but it is the only other northern town with any kind of medical facility (small but at least there), Unless you go waaaayyy north to Marquette which is by all accounts a lovely small town complete with a medical facility and college, and much long(er) hard(er) winters. I suppose if I had means to snowbird Marquette would be more an option. I do not want to move back to my hometown which is a shadow of its former self and not as close to all the up north nature.
Sometimes I think I could adjust to just about anywhere, maybe even Miami... probably not I could see other more nature like places if FL maybe.
Just speaking for myself, but I know from personal experience in my life that the draw to "go home" can be very strong, especially when we really don't know where to go. I've returned home more times than I'd like to admit and it's never worked out, I always end up moving away again and was the right thing to do.
Yep
So I too struggle with that urge when I get discouraged about my retirement move. It's natural to want to be someplace familiar and easy. My situation is similar in that I have "family" there but we aren't close and probably will never be (not for lack of trying but I finally gave up) so I have to be very real about that.
Yep. But I also can't see suddenly "making/choosing a family" either as much as I'd like to. Its not really a choice, others have to want to participate
Anyway, I like that you went back recently and at least got a more current vibe about your old home town. I've found that my process in all this has forced me to think about who I really am now, in this new season of life, and I've had to do a lot of soul searching. It's hard for those of us who would be moving alone.
I really don't think people understand this, nor do they really want to think about it
And I imagine it's easier when you know the place you are now isn't right for you (like Miami, I can see why you'd want out of there), which isn't the case for me...my primary issue is COL. I gave myself a year after I retired to settle into retirement, not make any major changes, get used to Medicare, etc, and see how my budget actually held up.
Very smart
Now I feel somewhat more prepared to make the move...gosh I haven't made a major move since 1982! But I will be by November 2016, when my lease is up . Let's all hang in there!
Have you figure out where? Near where you are but a little cheaper? Or?
I have always been drawn to Virginia and have visited quite a few times, taking another look at Richmond area. I've tried to talk myself into North Carolina but it's just not happening.
I have always been drawn to Virginia and have visited quite a few times, taking another look at Richmond area. I've tried to talk myself into North Carolina but it's just not happening.
I started thinking of VA, too. I gave up on NC (not sure of my reasons..... no money probably). I like the Roanoke area. When I drove to NC on 81 south, that area always caught my eye.
One thing I have noticed, the very people who thought I should not move at all (after all.... there are friends to consider.....)..... those same friends are usually too busy to do anything. I stay in touch by email. So........ why not move and maintain my friendships same way I do here? Crazy what others think we should do with our lives.
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I could see other more nature like places if FL maybe.