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artangel, you are in my thoughts; I so hope things get better for you. As I've mentioned, I have my not so great days as well, last week was fill with days of mostly being in bed. I think I lucked out in picking the area of FL I did, because the seniors here tend to get out more, heat and all. There's this one particular man, that no matter what, takes a walk up and down the road and always has a smile and says hello young lady when he passes me on the street. I just marvel at him, seems nothing fazes the man. He always seems to be in a good mood. Same goes for another of my neighbors even if he's a bit grumpier, but still smiles and has always has a nice big wave and a smile when I pass his Lanai.
Anyway, I'm still very much happy with my move to Sarasota, and anytime someone on the street complains to me about the heat, I just say, well it is FL and smile, but for me, there's no other place I want to be, granted, I can't wait to get back home to my air conditioned abode if at the time, I'm not at the beach or in the pool.
When able, I still try to put in some volunteer hours at the Red Cross or at Selby Gardens; sadly not as often as I would like, due to physical limitations. The times I'm able, are some of the most rewarding. I am able to make use of para transit, but it is more costly than regular transit, so I don't use it too often, but because the pain of walking has gotten worse, I may have to cough up the monies and use them more. I often get rides from members of meetup groups to events that I attend. I've been getting together with a group that meets up for movies and another that meets up for board games, and then there's the occasional holiday, dinner and other evening outings that I'll get together with meetup groups for when I'm not too ill to participate. Not everyday is a great day health wise, but I'm so happy I live in a place where so many of the aged population tend to take advantage of much of what life has to offer regardless of their age. I just hope, I will be able to continue to live in this town, for a long time to come. I am looking to moving to a senior complex next year when I hit 55, just because I need some of the amenities like the open showers, grab bars, that sort of thing
Hoping you all continue to keep strong in your search for whatever you seek.
PS, before I give the wrong idea, this city isn't perfect, there is some not so good things about it, and sure there are people I'd love to give a smack down to, but I choose to tune them out for the most part and not dwell on those situations are less than palatable.
A couple questions: Are you ladies in over-55 communities? (Meaning Artangel and Dancingearth) I inherited my Mom's in FL and found people to be very friendly and willing to include me in their social circles. There are many couples, but a lot of single ladies as well. Besides the community pool, there are lots of activities in the clubhouse, like bingo, card games, line dance lessons, etc. Many of the residents there are now baby-boomer age, and some live there full-time. So even though some people are highly against over-55's, I found it much easier to bond with people, because they are NOT all involved with their own families since most live far away.
Something else to consider: You both live in the Southwest and are finding people to be unfriendly or distant. Are they natives to the area? Where my Mom lives in FL, most of the folks in her community are from the Midwest, or Western PA, or Upstate NY. Could it be a regional thing? Folks in different parts of the country are not as welcoming to transplants or outsiders? Or just harder to get to know?
Last edited by Avalon08; 08-10-2012 at 11:01 AM..
Reason: added something
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,705 posts, read 58,031,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avalon08
... You both live in the Southwest and are finding people to be unfriendly or distant. ...Could it be a regional thing? Folks in different parts of the country are not as welcoming to transplants or outsiders? Or just harder to get to know?
I have a theory... (Been wrong before, including several times just today)
The more 'independent' the settlers were to the regions, the more 'independent' are their offspring.
YES, there is certainly regional / cultural reasons for the way people welcome strangers and even neighbors... (Israel and Arab countries...) It goes back a ways. I find the folks in PNW pretty independent compared to my roots (prairie / central US and Mtn states). Alaska is even more independent. People can be VERY congenial, and pleasant and even helpful BUT... my current neighbors would not care if I was sick in bed till I started smelling
If I get chronically ill, I will MOVE to a region that is a bit more 'service / helpful / caring'. Oklahoma has one of the LEAST expensive care costs, for the 'caring' you will get there. AL and MS are cheaper, but I AM NOT going there!!!
Amougst Cooperative Housing developers for Senior Housing, there is a significant precidence of Scandanavians being better suited / agreeable to Cooperatoive Housing. (Of course back in the 'Old Country' up to 40% of the population live in 'Community'...
I have a theory... (Been wrong before, including several times just today)
The more 'independent' the settlers were to the regions, the more 'independent' are their offspring.
YES, there is certainly regional / cultural reasons for the way people welcome strangers and even neighbors... (Israel and Arab countries...) It goes back a ways. I find the folks in PNW pretty independent compared to my roots (prairie / central US and Mtn states). Alaska is even more independent. People can be VERY congenial, and pleasant and even helpful BUT... my current neighbors would not care if I was sick in bed till I started smelling
If I get chronically ill, I will MOVE to a region that is a bit more 'service / helpful / caring'. Oklahoma has one of the LEAST expensive care costs, for the 'caring' you will get there. AL and MS are cheaper, but I AM NOT going there!!!
Amougst Cooperative Housing developers for Senior Housing, there is a significant precidence of Scandanavians being better suited / agreeable to Cooperatoive Housing. (Of course back in the 'Old Country' up to 40% of the population live in 'Community'...
I know you've traveled a great deal around this country. What states would you recommend for the friendliness, openness, welcoming type of residents?
A couple questions: Are you ladies in over-55 communities? (Meaning Artangel and Dancingearth) I inherited my Mom's in FL and found people to be very friendly and willing to include me in their social circles. There are many couples, but a lot of single ladies as well. Besides the community pool, there are lots of activities in the clubhouse, like bingo, card games, line dance lessons, etc. Many of the residents there are now baby-boomer age, and some live there full-time. So even though some people are highly against over-55's, I found it much easier to bond with people, because they are NOT all involved with their own families since most live far away.
Something else to consider: You both live in the Southwest and are finding people to be unfriendly or distant. Are they natives to the area? Where my Mom lives in FL, most of the folks in her community are from the Midwest, or Western PA, or Upstate NY. Could it be a regional thing? Folks in different parts of the country are not as welcoming to transplants or outsiders? Or just harder to get to know?
I'm not in an over 55 community. It was too expensive and the houses small without garages--no room for my studio. The college is like an over 55 community though--many retired people taking the classes.
There is a strong community whose families have lived here for generations and they tend to stay close to family. It was the same in PA. I found both places people were understandably focused on their families and the friends they've known since childhood. The locals are friendlier here than in PA--no one thinks twice if you talk to them in stores. And the locals are often more friendly than the people who moved here from elsewhere. They just don't have time for new people and honestly other than friendly chit chat I haven't found anyone I'd want to pursue a friendship with--we are in different places in our lives.
I think if I didn't work full-time I'd have more friends--so many people are retired and they do things during the weekdays. There is very little industry here so not many are in similar circumstances. One hiking meetup group only hikes during the week during the day. It's a very different place.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by popcorn247
.. What states would you recommend for the friendliness, openness, welcoming type of residents?
Minnesota of course... (not MY roots, but a real nice bunch, and I like Covered Dish dinners!)
Really depends on your tastes and your own culture. I don't travel that much east of Missouri River (and NEVER there in Summer), I'm a farm kid... I like TN, WV, Northern NH, New Bruns, Greenland, SK, Alberta, ND, SD NE, KS, CO. but my favorite is WY. People are very genuine, and Really look out for each other. (Need to incase they blow away!)
Minnesota of course... (not MY roots, but a real nice bunch, and I like Covered Dish dinners!)
Really depends on your tastes and your own culture. I don't travel that much east of Missouri River (and NEVER there in Summer), I'm a farm kid... I like TN, WV, Northern NH, New Bruns, Greenland, SK, Alberta, ND, SD NE, KS, CO. but my favorite is WY. People are very genuine, and Really look out for each other. (Need to incase they blow away!)
I've been struggling, trying to decide where my next move should be.
(I'm 50, from a Milwaukee suburb, and have lived in South Florida since '95)
I have a niece who lives here that will be hard for me to leave, but I feel I must.
I swear if you were laying in the gutter bleeding profusely down here, people would just step over you and keep going.
My ideal? I'd like a place with a town with small shops, especially one with artists/craftspersons etc as I'm one. A community where I would feel like I belonged, as I do not in any way feel like that here. I'm a liberal in a state dominated by conservative thinking....never realized just how profoundly out of place I'd feel. I seldom say anything for fear of drawing someone's wrath. ( don't have a problem with folks thinking any way they want, just wish there were someone I could talk to). I want to move so badly.....,but I haven't the faintest idea of a place to go. Weather, unfortunately, is a huge factor for me. Arrid climate, sunshine. I wish I could live near my sons, but one is in Co and the other in Ia. The one in Co keeps telling me it's really arrid, but each time I visit, I hurt like crazy......! Not to mention that I can't afford it.
I never thought I'd miss the seasons changing, either, but if I'm truly honest with myself, I do. the nip in the air, the autumn foilage, the excitement of bundling up to go Xmas shopping while the snow falls softly and the shops are dressed so festively. I wish I knew where to go. I've been trying to do some more research....but just am at a loss.!
Have been catching up on posts this morning and particularly struck by ArtAngel and DancingEarth's comments. I know how you both feel. DE knows I was doing my research (even to NM) but ended up staying where I am when I found just the perfect place to buy. I had wanted my own place for a long time and the timing was right. Everything seemed to click. Even though it was not far from where I was, it felt like a whole new place. I met a group of friends (and a guy) had an active social life, kids were great and settled in their lives (literally one on each coast), and was still very close to my best friend who lived hours away.
But things change; the guy caused more heartache than I needed, the group of friends were fair weather, and my best friend relationship is strained (after years of listening/being there and "counseling" with her marriage to a abusive and controlling husband, I'm the bad guy. He has alienated her from family and friends so he can be the only one in her life) - it is now just me. I have gotten involved with some meetup groups for the socializing but find that many of these groups have been together for a while and are clickish (not the correct spelling I know ). I am friendly and outgoing, and somewhat reserved (shy ). This area is so transient, and I have seen so many changes over the years.
Like ArtAngel, I miss the seasons, would love "the nip in the air, autumn foliage, Xmas shopping in the snow" but I, too, "wish I knew where to go....but just am at a loss!"
I finally bought/rescued a kitty (Zee) in April because I was wanted the company - yes, call me the Crazy Cat Lady . I don't have a wonderful neighbor anymore who would pet sit but figured as part of pet ownership Zee would be boarded at his vet (they have a great facility) for the few times a year I might go away for a week (two at the most). So this limits me from just picking up and taking off indefinitely.
With the kids totally involved in the lives, their long-held decision to never have kids, etc. I thought, well this is it. At least until I can figure things out. Then the big news a few weeks ago - my daughter and her husband decided to have a baby. No sooner had the decision been made when she told me she was pregnant ! They just moved to Philadelphia. Now in a smaller historic house than in Annapolis where there was an extra bedroom to stay when I visited. Now the "extra" room is going to be a nursery. I would love to be closer but not sure where and what would be affordable. Plus can't move just to be closer knowing that they won't be staying there forever. Have to plan my own life - just don't know what and where that is.
So that is catching up to date. Seems so many of us are still unsettled and uncertain. This is why I love this thread. Some of us have met, most of us haven't but we all have a sense of kinship and understanding. My life's road map isn't straight and flat; it's full of twists and turns, ups and downs, peaks and valleys. Sometimes I can see forever, but most of the time I have no idea what's around the next bend in the road. Destination - unknown. I can be happy riding with the wind in my hair, favorite music on in the background, looking at life as an adventure. Or I can be like my grandfather was after he retired (and had traveled the world): sit in the chair by the window, watching the world pass me by and be miserable. Think I'll take the joy ride!
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,705 posts, read 58,031,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karcon
....she told me she was pregnant ! ... Think I'll take the joy ride!
CAREFUL what you SAY on this forum... I was SKIMMING your response and am now suffering from Whip-lash when I saw the pregnant comment on the Women Retiring ALONE ...! (in conjunction with your previous 'Shirley Valentine on Steriods' Status) . STUFF happens... Whew, I gotta get more sleep...
Ha ha ha! Think we can all agree that if we see the word "pregnant" on this thread that it definitely is not a status of the individual - at our ages (50 on up) it probably relates on a 99.99999% basis to a relative. Personally, having accepted the fact that I would never be a grandmother (except to the cats), I am estatic!!!!
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(not MY roots, but a real nice bunch, and I like Covered Dish dinners!)
)
I was SKIMMING your response and am now suffering from Whip-lash when I saw the pregnant comment on the Women Retiring ALONE ...! (in conjunction with your previous 'Shirley Valentine on Steriods' Status) . STUFF happens... Whew, I gotta get more sleep...
