Men and Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (55, beach)

[Fairwinds]

TRosa,
My 33 year old daughter thinks I'm Satan! Let it go! She may or may not come around. (I put my daughter through medical school!) In the meantime, I'm going to buy a dog friendly home in the Port Townsend area of Washington State. I'll gladly rent out an extra bedroom to a "Woman Retiring Alone" and her dogs. (even cats) I'm buying a home with acreage and a fenced yard. The rent will be low. Don't worry! Everything will turn out alright. Fairwinds....

[Fairwinds]

TRosa,
PS; I'm not Scottish/Irish decent. Would you settle for English/German decent with a little
Welsh thrown in on the side?
Fairwinds

[Avalon08]

If it makes you feel any better, my 31-year-old son lives WITH me, yet I get so little communication from him, I might as well just have a renter. (He's a quirky personality and always has been...plus there are some other "problems", if you know what I'm saying.) Ahhh, one of these days, maybe he'll grow up and appreciate his Mom....

Hey, Splashpaint, welcome! Since you're in the painting biz, can you answer a very important question for me? When painting the wall where it meets the ceiling, do you just free-hand it, or do you tape it off or use an edging tool? I've seen painters just free-hand and get the edges pretty straight, but I don't know if I could do it. However, I've used tape, and always get seepage or uneven lines where the tape strips meet.

(Sorry to digress, folks!)

Anyway, as some of you know, I've decided to stay in the Philly area instead of moving back to SoCal as I had considered. I'll tell you one of the most important factors in my decision: R&B line-dancing! Philly is known for its dancers (remember Bandstand?) and we all used to do line-dances in the 60's. However, there is a huge group of "soul line-dancers" who create dances to R&B oldies and current hip-hop songs. They are constantly creating new dances -- some easy, some difficult -- to keep the mind and body challenged. I am in heaven, since I've always been a fan of R&B music. I was one of the first white folks to join their group, but now there are tons of white folks involved. Everyone is friendly, you don't need a partner, and it's the way the world should be! My back/leg problems prevent me from doing some of the steps, but I do as much as I can. They do have this type of dancing in many other cities, but it would be hard to find the quality/quantity we have in Philly. I don't want to move away, then come back in a few years when I'm in my mid-60's and could be physically incapacitated by then.

Sooooo, it probably sounds ridiculous, but that's one of my main reasons I chose to stay here.

[mzfroggez]

Originally Posted by Avalon08

If it makes you feel any better, my 31-year-old son lives WITH me, yet I get so little communication from him, I might as well just have a renter. (He's a quirky personality and always has been...plus there are some other "problems", if you know what I'm saying.) Ahhh, one of these days, maybe he'll grow up and appreciate his Mom....

Hey, Splashpaint, welcome! Since you're in the painting biz, can you answer a very important question for me? When painting the wall where it meets the ceiling, do you just free-hand it, or do you tape it off or use an edging tool? I've seen painters just free-hand and get the edges pretty straight, but I don't know if I could do it. However, I've used tape, and always get seepage or uneven lines where the tape strips meet.

(Sorry to digress, folks!)

Anyway, as some of you know, I've decided to stay in the Philly area instead of moving back to SoCal as I had considered. I'll tell you one of the most important factors in my decision: R&B line-dancing! Philly is known for its dancers (remember Bandstand?) and we all used to do line-dances in the 60's. However, there is a huge group of "soul line-dancers" who create dances to R&B oldies and current hip-hop songs. They are constantly creating new dances -- some easy, some difficult -- to keep the mind and body challenged. I am in heaven, since I've always been a fan of R&B music. I was one of the first white folks to join their group, but now there are tons of white folks involved. Everyone is friendly, you don't need a partner, and it's the way the world should be! My back/leg problems prevent me from doing some of the steps, but I do as much as I can. They do have this type of dancing in many other cities, but it would be hard to find the quality/quantity we have in Philly. I don't want to move away, then come back in a few years when I'm in my mid-60's and could be physically incapacitated by then.

Sooooo, it probably sounds ridiculous, but that's one of my main reasons I chose to stay here.

Avalon! an EXCELLENT reason to choose to stay in a place! Music so permeates my soul and i am the somewhat crazy lady sitting at the traffic light, playing current hits and rocking out - i enjoy the old and the new/find much of the new very "movable" and fun. yes, some of it is absolutely trashy in the lyrics but even so, it's rather funny to find myself singing lyrics and have my kids ask "mom, do you know what that means?".....somehow, they seem to forget that the sixties was not known for being demure...... back to your reason for going with Philly, I would love to find a similar opportunity and line dance my way through the next forty/fifty years

anyway, have missed posting here but have been following the conversations - or i suppose binging on them - i get on line when i can get a break and read voraciously with so much to say but so many places I would need to say it - but suffice it to say, my life has taken some odd turns here so that all my plans have gone up in the air and yet i am doing exactly what i need /want to do so it is ALL good - (copying my kids there) -
everyone is moving to places - finding new opportunities - soul searching and discovering - what a delightful bunch we are - - i'll get on shortly and post some things-my mind is filled with a million words and while i think and type fast, it's almost more than i can put down - i feel like i'm morphing through so many things but hey, a week ago I couldn't even remember the acronym "TPN" and now I'm doing it/i was laughing the other night, comparing my being a nurse to someone akin to hiring the three stooges for an ICU, but i am surely finding some wonderful things out about my parents/about myself/and even about my kids. What is not a great situation in so many ways may well prove to be one of the most therapeutic periods in a lot of lives. wow - life does come at'cha!

got to run but thinking of all of you - delighted to be virtual roomies with the lot of you! but for now, living at my parents and challenging Thomas Wolfe will have to suffice

Want to do a "shout out" to all my peeps but don't want to "dis" anyone by missing them (plus the total confusion of all of us name changers - yes, i'm triciajeanne, recently converted to mzfroggez to gain some anonimity from having a name a little too close to reality) -(and no, i haven't gone mad or joined the girls in the hood but the present lingo does make me laugh- actually, it's likely dated lingo but hey, only so much catching up i can do...................feeling groovy, far out and all that stuff) -

mz froggez aka triciajeanne

[TRosa]

Originally Posted by Fairwinds

TRosa,
PS; I'm not Scottish/Irish decent. Would you settle for English/German decent with a little
Welsh thrown in on the side?
Fairwinds

HUH?

Not sure the masses could handle my original reply. : )

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I honestly adore you ladies, it's so refreshing to not be the only slightly off centered one in a bunch of fiesty mature fun loving, smart and sensible gals and and of course the resident helpful guyl LC. Sending a big vertual hug out to ya all.

If the roommate potential isn't near a beach, it's not where I'm a heading. But darn, hate to miss out.

[flyingscot47]

[quote=Umbria;15241979]TRosa - OK, no condolences. Why is it that your mother/daughter story is so prevalent? It just doesn't make sense. Females, regardless of the relationship, just can not get along well long term (generally).

I am curious are mother and son relationships as difficult as mother/daughter relationships? In my relocation quest I am constantly torn between moving closer to my daughter and grandson to be the support that I did not have when I had my daughter--my mother chose to stay many thousands of miles away--(now I am older and I hope lot wiser and smarter)I can understand her decision--wish she hadnt but it was her right to make that choice. In moving to where my daughter is a mobile home is my best choice right now---I understand the restrictions but I love music whether it be Wagner or Led Zeppelin ==ideally I belong where I can indulge in my music etc and not worry about bothering anyone and thus the dilemma--

[Wisteria]

flyingscot47: In moving to where my daughter is a mobile home is my best choice right now---I understand the restrictions but I love music whether it be Wagner or Led Zeppelin ==ideally I belong where I can indulge in my music etc and not worry about bothering anyone and thus the dilemma--

Headphones and an iPod! There are headphones that carry quite far (like to even outside), and I had a pair (which since broke) and loved them. I used to put music on my CD player in the house, put on the headphones and then head outside for yard work!

Seriously, those work. Have you looked into an all-age park? I am sure there would be more music going on in those (or at least that one might hear). These homes can be better than, say, a condo with thin, shared walls. You don't have to give up your music passion!

[georgiegirl]

Hello to everyone - I haven't posted in awhile under my other name "paintdogs". After all this time, I have done the deed, thus the new username. I found a very nice place in Blue Ridge, Georgia and moved here last week. I bought a newer little 2 bedroom home on an acre and a half in a nice neighborhood with all the houses nestled in the woods, 10 minutes from town. It has been one month since I found it (or should I say my realtor found it for me). I thought I would drop from exhaustion in trying to get ready for the move and take care of everything before I left but I knew it just had to be and I feel like all the hard work and headaches have paid off. It is low maintenance and newer and have found the people here to be very welcoming and helpful. There is a private club two miles from me where you can swim and play tennis
(out in a beautiful country setting). On Fridays they have a get together where you bring an appetizer and something to drink and have a party. We had a ball line dancing last night (which I've never done). I laughed and had the best time I'd had in 10 years. I regret I did not move here earlier. This coming week I'll join the local arts association and do some more investigation of the area. I'm very happy with my decision and feel like I moved in a window of opportunity. As to why I chose this place -- I've been researching for so long and I visited twice and felt it had a good quality of life, lots to do, lots of transplants that have brought in fresh ideas and a level playing field. It has a Mayberry feel but all the basics you need. Not too big , not too small. Better weather, great scenery and so easy to meet people and get involved (or not). I've been following all the posts and hope you all will find your place and continue to live thru your heart.

[TRosa]

Flyingscot47


In general, parent child relationships run the gamet from extremely milky sweet down to outright horrific. I've seen father sons nearly kill each other. The mother/son dynamic can take all kinds of twist and turns for bad or good as well. Many women tend to discuss the dynamics more, so you hear more about and from both ends of the mother daughter turmoil. We rarely hear as much from the fathers and sons, when I'm certain, there's as much friction between that combo as there is within mother daughter relationships.

My daughter won't be left alone when I leave, she has her fiance, her paternal gradmother, whom is the love of her life and nearly that entire side of her father's family. Those are the people she spends most of the holidays with anyway. There are times my daughter and I have an unbelievable good time together, but they are infrequent and I can't live my life for those brief moments. She will always be my baby, but close proximity has never improved upon our relationship.

I never expected anyone to make my way through life for me when I was coming up, I don't know why it's a given these grown kids are to expect that right. What will they do when we aren't around? I worked my way through school, sometimes leaving straight from a night job with no sleep in between my next class. When I became ill, it took me a long time before I even accepted that I was pushed onto applying for disability. It was years before I accepted my short comings and went on disability.

I'm not saying the kids should have to struggle, if there's a real need, but, unless you have oodles of dollars laying about, you shouldn't have to put youself on the back burner either. I won't lie, for a short time, I was an enabler, but I wised up quickly, when I realized no matter what I did, mine was begining to not own up to her responsibilities, partly because she thought mom and others would be there to bail her out financially.

Now to the music, Are you saying that you won't be able to play your music if you move to the mobil park?
I love music too, just about ever genre. These days I rarely listen to my stereo as much, but if I want to crank up the volume, I've downloaded quite a number of songs to my mp3 player. That way it doesn't disturb anyone. Unless, I'm sitting out somewhere and I start singing because I forgot I'm not alone. Gosh, I did that once while out with my daughter and grandkid; at an insurance store. My daughter started yelling MOM! MOM!, I didn't hear her, so much as read her lips and crazed look in her eyes. Pople were staring and smiling. I think I was singing a Lady GaGa song. I didn't realize how loud I was singing, I was so caught up in the music. It was too funny. My daughter was horrified, but she did start to laugh, my grand loved it.

Any way, at this stage in the game, I think choices need to be made based on your own comfort and future happiness meter. At what age do they take full responsibility for their own happiness? Yes, its our job to give them the tools if we are able under the right circumstances, but they at some point have to take the helm. Life involves sacrafices, but I'm sure you've made pleanty of those over the years. Why not let your next choice be about you.

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The above was typed before I saw the other two postings. takes me that long. Sigh.
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Georgiegirl,

Congrats on your new place. So nice to see when one of us finds and is enjoy their new surroundings.

[KiwiKate]

I retired at the end of last year, after a long and fulfilling career. I spent 30 years in a cold, snowy winter climate and it had long been a goal to find a winter home, somewhere warm. I chose Henderson, Nevada because there are no state income taxes, the mountains are beautiful, the housing market is depressed and there's a major airport nearby. I'm in a 55+ community that has oodles of activities for the active senior and am learning new things every day. I can swim whenever I want and belong to both a ceramics club and a card club. Have met lots of other single women and can find someone to do something with -- plays,concerts -- whenever I can stir myself. The community I'm in is safe and affordable. I checked out other states in the two years prior to my move, and am happy with my decision. It's true what they say about low humidity -- 100 and low humidity is surprisingly tolerable. My children and grandchildren live in the Midwest and my plan is to visit them in the summer when the desert heat is the hottest. So far, so great!