Men and Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (8 year old, music)

[nancy thereader]

I wonder if it is just a woman thing as we get older. I find myself going days with no human contact other than on here for days

Gosh, keeper. That is so true. I would be very content to just talk to Gracie the Cat and watch old Law and Orders , commiserate with Judge Judy or just read good old mystery books (some for the third time) .

[Dancingearth]

I wrote a post a couple days ago and it disappeared....grrrrr...so here goes again. I went to my first Meetup tonight. It's called the Knitty Different. I almost skipped it because I was tired after working all day and not sure I had the energy to meet a bunch of strangers. I am so glad I went! There were seven women that met at a local restaurant and sat on the outside patio. Their enthusiasm was contagious--I'm getting out a difficult project I've been putting off finishing for years. It's nice to be around people of all ages--knitting has gotten to be very popular with young people. Naturally people who knit are typically interested in other textile arts so we had plenty to talk about. At first I just knitted and listened but soon I was joining in. It's a great way to get to know new people without pressure. Lots of laughing which I've been missing. A man from another table came over and asked if we were giving lessons and we invited him to join us next week and we'd teach him how to knit. Fun! I find if I knit in public people will often start a conversation about it.

You don't have to be alone--start a group if there isn't one. Share a skill or take a class. The hardest part is getting out the door. Next week I go on my first hike with the Hiking Meetup group--it's an easy night hike to see the night sky. I think those Meetups are a great service. Real groups make a real difference - Meetup.com

I find if I have something to do or another reason to be there that I'm less nervous about meeting new people. Hiking, knitting, taking classes, volunteering--it all helps to take the focus away from being lonely and wanting to meet people and make friends. You want to see someone run fast just be honest that you are lonely and looking for friends! When you have fun people want to be around you more so find a way to have fun. Eventually I find I have new friends by doing this. I have more friends now (well at least in WA) then when I was young and raising children so I don't think it's age. Often it's having the time and making the effort. It also doesn't have to cost a lot of money. If I had more time, I'd volunteer at the Santa Fe opera so I could see opera for free. Figure out what you want and then figure out how to get it. Set goals. If it's difficult to do alone, ask someone if they'd like to go along or bribe yourself to do something you're afraid of -- you can always leave if it's too uncomfortable. I have all kinds of tricks I use on myself. You have a lot to gain and very little to lose by trying. And then tell us about it We like stories!

[Tesaje]

Originally Posted by Dancingearth

I wrote a post a couple days ago and it disappeared....grrrrr...so here goes again. I went to my first Meetup tonight. It's called the Knitty Different. I almost skipped it because I was tired after working all day and not sure I had the energy to meet a bunch of strangers. I am so glad I went! There were seven women that met at a local restaurant and sat on the outside patio. Their enthusiasm was contagious--I'm getting out a difficult project I've been putting off finishing for years. It's nice to be around people of all ages--knitting has gotten to be very popular with young people. Naturally people who knit are typically interested in other textile arts so we had plenty to talk about. At first I just knitted and listened but soon I was joining in. It's a great way to get to know new people without pressure. Lots of laughing which I've been missing. A man from another table came over and asked if we were giving lessons and we invited him to join us next week and we'd teach him how to knit. Fun! I find if I knit in public people will often start a conversation about it.

You don't have to be alone--start a group if there isn't one. Share a skill or take a class. The hardest part is getting out the door. Next week I go on my first hike with the Hiking Meetup group--it's an easy night hike to see the night sky. I think those Meetups are a great service. Real groups make a real difference - Meetup.com

I find if I have something to do or another reason to be there that I'm less nervous about meeting new people. Hiking, knitting, taking classes, volunteering--it all helps to take the focus away from being lonely and wanting to meet people and make friends. You want to see someone run fast just be honest that you are lonely and looking for friends! When you have fun people want to be around you more so find a way to have fun. Eventually I find I have new friends by doing this. I have more friends now (well at least in WA) then when I was young and raising children so I don't think it's age. Often it's having the time and making the effort. It also doesn't have to cost a lot of money. If I had more time, I'd volunteer at the Santa Fe opera so I could see opera for free. Figure out what you want and then figure out how to get it. Set goals. If it's difficult to do alone, ask someone if they'd like to go along or bribe yourself to do something you're afraid of -- you can always leave if it's too uncomfortable. I have all kinds of tricks I use on myself. You have a lot to gain and very little to lose by trying. And then tell us about it We like stories!

Great post! I'm glad to hear about that meetup. It seems like a decent way to get to know some people in a new area or even in the same area when you change your life. I'm glad to hear that it is a normal social set up and not that lonely hearts stuff that just seems to attract icky people. Very encouraging.

I was thinking about how older and retired people used to interact in times bygone and it occurred to me that they regularly had mild socialization with their neighbors - to sit and knit or quilt or do some mild chore or another.

I keep thinking that the demographics have got to be on our side. Nearly half of all taxpayers are single households. That's a lot of single-living people out there without built in social structure in our lives. We should be able to find each other and enjoy a knitting session, regular meetings for a cuppa coffee, etc. It doesn't have to be a huge outing to meet the social needs we all have. But I guess that's why they have the senior's centers too - a lot of people end up outliving their social contacts or get too frail to get out. I wouldn't want to have all my time filled up with socialization as I really enjoy my many solitary pursuits. But it wouldn't be healthy to get completly isolated either.

My mother volunteered for years at the Colorado 0pera after she retired and got to see the dress rehearsals for free. She even got to meet and shake hands with her favorite - Placido Domingo! Her job was just going thru the papers and clippng out any mention of the opera. Volunteer jobs don't have to be a big thing.

[Wisteria]

Tesje: My mother volunteered for years at the Colorado 0pera after she retired and got to see the dress rehearsals for free. She even got to meet and shake hands with her favorite - Placido Domingo! Her job was just going thru the papers and clippng out any mention of the opera. Volunteer jobs don't have to be a big thing.

This is a great point, and I'm glad you brought it up. I learned about getting into concerts and plays free by volunteering many years ago. A friend of mine who didn't have much money would often volunteer -- she got to see some great concerts (i.e. Rolling Stones), etc. for free. I took her lead and started volunteering as an usher in San Francisco for plays -- you can see all of these for free -- sometimes you have to stand in the back if it is filled, or you can grab an empty seat when the play/show starts. It is an excellent way to get out there and meet people, and to also afford to attend various events that might cost a lot of money, especially on a fixed income! Your mother was very smart!

[nancy thereader]

Wow! That is something that I never even thought about. It sounds like a fabulous idea.

[anomoly]

Just lost the entire message I wrote.... so start over

Park Model deal fell through!
It got ugly.
I had already moved everything out of this RV space, and into the trailer.
I didn't like the way the deal was going when:
1. walk through noted needed repairs, but owner said I was just a complainer.
2. no title handed over
3. no bill of sale: owner said I didn't need one for DMV.

She told me to "pack all my sh#t, and get out" of the park. She wanted keys back, even though my stuff was still in trailer. Also I was paid for my RV space till July 7. Police had to come out. It was ugly.
I just got everything moved back out of the trailer, and the new space, and BACK INTO my RV, and my original space.

I will be here with internet service until Monday, July 7.
After that, I might stay out at Elephant Butte Lake State Park (i have a camp pass with hookups @ $4/day) until I figure out a new plan.
I will certainly be leaving TrC, but no idea where or what to do.

Like I said, my entire message just got deleted, so this one is 'facts only'.

Thanks for being here, Ladies....
Any helpful thoughts, ideas, or comments would be appreciated.

[Tesaje]

Originally Posted by anomoly

Park Model deal fell through!
It got ugly.

Thanks for being here, Ladies....
Any helpful thoughts, ideas, or comments would be appreciated.

I'm so sorry it fell thru for you. It doesn't sound like a good deal at all. I've got nothing helpful for you, but some commiseration.

[Wicked Felina]

Originally Posted by anomoly

Just lost the entire message I wrote.... so start over Park Model deal fell through!

So sorry for your troubles here. Your description of that lady is much kinder (and I'm sure quite modified for CD!) than what would be on my mind. What a bad person.

It sounds like such a platitude, but you were fortunate to escape by the skin of your teeth!

You will be in my thoughts...wishing you the best.

[Dancingearth]

Originally Posted by anomoly

Park Model deal fell through!
It got ugly.

Sounds horrible! So sorry to hear this--makes you wonder if she's done this before and gotten away with it. I got the impression from what you wrote she was going to take your money and you would not have proof of ownership!? What a huge disappointment. The state park sounds like a good place to go until you figure out what you want to do next. Hopefully this will lead to something better. Let us know how it's going when you can. Sending good thoughts your way....

[mollyblythe]

So sorry Anomaly! There are alot of not nice people out there . Too bad we can't tell 'em on sight. Hope you can feel all the good wishes coming your way and that as this bad door closes, a much,much better one will open. Thank goodness you still have your RV and a ready option for quick departure.
Keep in touch. Best wishes.