Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (community, long distance)

[Wisteria]

Knoxgarden: So are classes in things like quilting, pottery throwing, etc.
I've read somewhere about commune-type living arrangements being designed for aging baby-boomers, where everyone has their own house/apartment but shares meals and chores.

I think you may be referring to International Communities. I know of several in Colorado, however, the cost is too much for me right now.

You're right about classes -- although....mostly women join them, so don't expect to meet too many men in classes. I've been teaching "Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain" for over 20 years, and I'd say that about 98% of my students are all women -- and, ironically, a good majority are over 40 and 50! One thing, though, is that I am conscious of classes filling a need to meet friends, so I arrange it in such a way that people must interact, but not uncomfortably so. Many friendships have developed from the classes -- the women get to talking, exchange phone numbers, and become friends. So, yes, classes are valuable, however, for the man thing...nope.

It is definitely a new challenging but interesting part of my life being older. More time behind me, than in front of me!

[knoxgarden]

I was thinking of places to meet 55+ women.
For males, try golf courses -- although then you're stuck with a golfer. Retired males hang out in libraries, health clubs during the day, wine tastings, gourmet cooking classes, history lectures, hiking clubs.
I've met several at sporting events, but you do need to know the sport. Minor league hockey, baseball games, college games. I met a charming, single dentist at a dirt track race.
Fly fishing classes, if you take it seriously. Anything outdoors. UT sponsors various trips into the Smokies to catalog species of flora and fauna.
In the South, women are generally expected to be competent in the outdoors and knowledgeable about sports, particularly football.

[Wisteria]

knoxgarden: For males, try golf courses -- although then you're stuck with a golfer. Retired males hang out in libraries, health clubs during the day, wine tastings, gourmet cooking classes, history lectures, hiking clubs.
I've met several at sporting events, but you do need to know the sport. Minor league hockey, baseball games, college games. I met a charming, single dentist at a dirt track race.
Fly fishing classes, if you take it seriously. Anything outdoors. UT sponsors various trips into the Smokies to catalog species of flora and fauna.
In the South, women are generally expected to be competent in the outdoors and knowledgeable about sports, particularly football.

You make a great point!! Don't take up a "hobby" that you really don't like or don't want to continue just to meet a man!! I don't really care for sports -- I would never go to games or things like that to meet a man. I DO enjoy fishing, boating, and hiking, though. I'm actually a pretty good shot with a rifle, too (but I'd never hunt).

I love cooking, and that is a great idea -- lots of guys aspire to be chefs. But you're right, make sure you take these things seriously -- otherwise the guy will be upset that you "lied" that you "liked" these activities, when you may just be looking for a guy. Better to find someone in activities that you really sincerely enjoy. Good point!! Thanks!

[knoxgarden]

Add Estate Auctions to the list.
I'd forgotten about that since I hadn't been to one in awhile. I went to one tonight and had this thread on my mind. That room was wall-to-wall older men! And only a few were with wives/girlfriends. That's typical, at least around here.
Men collect stuff, either for themselves or to sell on e-bay. Easy to start a conversation about "what is that?" "What are you going to do with that?"
Didn't score a date but came home with three wonderful old wooden grain measures I'm going to use for storage.
Auctions are fun. You can get some bargains and I'm usually encouraged to go home and clean out stuff.
You can find one near you at Auction Zip - Live Auction Locator - Find Auctions Anywhere!

[normie]

I would recommend volunteering for your local Chamber of Commerce or a local hospital. Hospitals are also great because they sometimes take care of small health needs for their volunteers (they'll see to it that you get a flu shot, for example). You could run a gift shop for 2-3 hours a week, and meet lots of people who are trying to while away the hours while waiting for news about a family member.

[brightdoglover]

As much as meeting men is of interest, in my posts I meant more just plain meeting people. Not that I have such a thriving social life here, but after some 33 years, I have layers of people I know of.
I do realize that some of the things I think I might do to meet people in a new place are things I ought to be doing right here to meet people. Work and feeling worn out seem to take over, but when retired or working part-time, I think I should make more of an effort towards people of any stripe. Have people considered groups from meetup.com? There something for everyone there.
Again, I wonder if I know how to feel part of a community or a belonging anywhere, never mind somewhere new. That's just a flaw in me.

[MotleyCrew]

You might consider checking on the Trilogy Vistancia community located in north Peoria AZ which is up in the foothills. I am not sure of your budget, but the resales right now are as low as mid $200K's and the dues are around $500 per quarter. There is a beautiful golf course, a fantastic upscale (with reasonable prices) restaurant and an indoor pool and spa/meditation room. go to www.trilogylife.com and see what they have to offer. You could move over to our side of the street, which is the family side for less HOA fees and still be a member of the Trilogy club. Best of luck to you.

[Wisteria]

Brightdoglover: Have people considered groups from meetup.com? There something for everyone there.
Again, I wonder if I know how to feel part of a community or a belonging anywhere, never mind somewhere new. That's just a flaw in me.

With regard to the Meet-ups, yes, I have been in one. It was when my daughter and I were taking a Japanese course, and we met up with others in our area who were also studying Japanese, including some Japanese guys who wanted to learn better English. It was kind of interesting, but it still didn't maintain itself for a long time.

The Meet-Ups are now charging for the listings – I don't know if you knew that. They used to be free.

When I've been in a new place, I've often put in ads for meeting people. Being from the eastcoast, and finding that westcoast people often have a difficult time with my more blunt and direct manner, I've put ads in for an "Eastcoast Connection." It's been pretty successful in bringing together other "ducks out of water."

I've kind of merged my eastcoastness with my westcoastness, now. I don't quite know where I fit anymore – kind of like you said. Maybe it's being older, maybe it's all those years of hard work, and for me, I've been a single parent for 17 years, so it has been very stressful and tiring. I am ready to get out there again and have a little "me" time, only I'm still not sure where or how to do that alone.

This feedback is good, though! Thanks.

[knoxgarden]

If you like to garden, plant swaps are a good way to meet people. These are informal gatherings where people swap plants. There's usually a potluck lunch involved which gives people a chance to mingle.
I do the website and some organization for the one here in Knoxville.
Knoxville Plant Swap
You can find some for your area on Garden Web (free) or Dave's Garden (fee to join). Go to the state or regional forum for where you are.
The GardenWeb Forums - GardenWeb
People in the South are so open and eager to talk that it is easier to meet people here than in other areas, at least for me.
The Red Hat Society was also good. They had a couple of luncheons a month and that forced you to meet a lot of different people. Most of the women in that were from other places.

[nancy thereader]

I was considering Portland, Oregon when I leave teaching in June . I would want a condo and I would not want to be the only baby boomer mixed in with all very young people. (It is like that everyday at school where I am the OLDEST person in the building [out of 745 people, lol] . But, I would not be happy with a place where everyone was over 75 (I am 60) so I just don't know what to do. Portland's a place for young people I think (and assisted living centers) , but it is the only city on the west coast that I can afford.