Post retirement: Parenting all over again (divorce, alcohol, long-term, divorced)

[brava4]

I just found out from my mother, 82, that the great grandchildren she has been caring for x4 days a week for a year... will be going to a new school in another town. As always she has to preface it by saying... "I love the kids but..." So now she has 2 weeks left to take care of them and then she gets her FREEDOM back. I'm really happy for her. She is planning on taking a Tarot card reading class and take up archery. Go Mom!!

[PatSea]

I love my children and grandchildren, but being a regular babysitter for them is not on my retirement radar. We have an agreement with our daughter and son-in-law that we will babysit on an emergency basis if it does not conflict with our schedule. We will not babysit on a regularly scheduled basis. For instance, we babysit for a few days when their regular paid babysitter is taking a few days vacation, or when our daughter is called in to work unexpectedly on her days off. My wife and I both agree that babysitting is one of the joys of being a grandparent, but when it is done on a regular schedule it becomes a job, and we're not looking for another job.

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Here in the land of delayed / non existent fecundity, one sees more and more people who are old enough to be grandparents, with young children. Really sort of weird.

[newenglandgirl]

Grandparents who are spending a lot more than usual time with their grandkids ought to have some kind of online support. Anyone know of any great ones?

I just found this: www.pwsausa.org/support/Grandparents.htm

[texdav]

I saw soem stats on bommers raising grand children and it was quite a high numbers.Een those still with adult age children living at home was high.Just among people I know it beyond anyhtig i ever remember.

[grannysue]

My husband is a retired papaw, now with a small pension, but work part time to fill out social security for medicare.I am e, also a retired is a granny / babysitter to our 33 year old daughter and her husband -- they both work full time. My daughter and her husband appear to be jealous about how attached the grandkids are to mI do babysit 4 of the 7 days a week/
Additionally, our daughter seems to be such a strict mother and she and her husband often chastize us (or jump to conclusions) on how we watch over their kids. I am 56 and my husband is 60, and we feel like the parents are overly critical of our style of parenting. Additionally our daughter is at times accusitory to us and somewhat ungrateful. I love my family so much, and I am trying to help them out by saving them on childcare expenses. I spend 4 days a week babysitting, which includes sleeping over at their house two nites a week.
Any advice

Any advice ?
Frustrated Papaw

[HappyTexan]

Originally Posted by grannysue

My husband is a retired papaw, now with a small pension, but work part time to fill out social security for medicare.I am e, also a retired is a granny / babysitter to our 33 year old daughter and her husband -- they both work full time. My daughter and her husband appear to be jealous about how attached the grandkids are to mI do babysit 4 of the 7 days a week/
Additionally, our daughter seems to be such a strict mother and she and her husband often chastize us (or jump to conclusions) on how we watch over their kids. I am 56 and my husband is 60, and we feel like the parents are overly critical of our style of parenting. Additionally our daughter is at times accusitory to us and somewhat ungrateful. I love my family so much, and I am trying to help them out by saving them on childcare expenses. I spend 4 days a week babysitting, which includes sleeping over at their house two nites a week.
Any advice

Any advice ?
Frustrated Papaw

Yes, retire from the babysitting business and just be grandparents.
Let them work their way through life especially if they are going to be that critical for you doing them a huge financial favor.

[newenglandgirl]

Originally Posted by grannysue

My husband is a retired papaw, now with a small pension, but work part time to fill out social security for medicare.I am e, also a retired is a granny / babysitter to our 33 year old daughter and her husband -- they both work full time. My daughter and her husband appear to be jealous about how attached the grandkids are to mI do babysit 4 of the 7 days a week/
Additionally, our daughter seems to be such a strict mother and she and her husband often chastize us (or jump to conclusions) on how we watch over their kids. I am 56 and my husband is 60, and we feel like the parents are overly critical of our style of parenting. Additionally our daughter is at times accusitory to us and somewhat ungrateful. I love my family so much, and I am trying to help them out by saving them on childcare expenses. I spend 4 days a week babysitting, which includes sleeping over at their house two nites a week.
Any advice

Any advice ?
Frustrated Papaw

They would be paying a fortune if they had to pay childcare. Tell them it would help you out financially if they paid you $5 an hour and see how they react. If the response is not nice, tell them you love them all but if you're not going to be able to make a little retirement money by this babysitting, you are both going to look for part time jobs and so you have to wind down the hours you babysit. When you're down to maybe one day a week tell them whew, thank goodness because you are feeling your age. Of course, don't bother to look for jobs unless you want one. If you don''t act now, you will be the surrogate parents for life, and perhaps financially as well.

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by newenglandgirl

I wonder about grandparents, after retirement, taking on raising grandkids...either from necessity or voluntarily because the parents of the kid(s) have to work...especially when the kids are infants or quite young. Anyone have any experiences to share that tell it like it really is (beyond the joy, etc)...

I can totally understand granny taking the kids during the work day so that someone who LOVES the children are caring for them and to help with childcare expenses. However, I always wonder about these grandparents who take in kids because their mother (or father) is on drugs or in jail. I always think to myself.... "They didn't do a very good job of raising their own children, how do they think the grand kids are going to turn out?"

20yrsinBranson

[Curmudgeon]

Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson

I can totally understand granny taking the kids during the work day so that someone who LOVES the children are caring for them and to help with childcare expenses. However, I always wonder about these grandparents who take in kids because their mother (or father) is on drugs or in jail. I always think to myself.... "They didn't do a very good job of raising their own children, how do they think the grand kids are going to turn out?"

20yrsinBranson

That's quite an assumption and generalization. In thi (electronic) day-and-age, by the time they reach junior high or earlier, children spend more time with and are more influenced by their peers than by their parents.