Perks of getting old. (pension plan, weather, social security, crying)

[jambo101]

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to every one you can remember right now!

Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

[North Beach Person]

1. you're more aware of your body as in: is that weird pain in your chest the beginning of another heart attack or just a weird pain? That also keeps your decision making skills active.
2. fine motor skills keep active picking up your pills.
3. arithmetic skills remain active counting the above pills.
4. color discrimination skills remain active due to the above pills.

[Happy in Wyoming]

Your vet automatically starts to pick up your fifty pound dog to put him on the table. If he weighs ten pounds you should be embarassed.

The cute teenage cashier at Walmart smiles and talks to you. She knows she's safe.

[luv4horses]

Perks of getting old:

You haven't died real young.

[thatdurncat13]

Love it! As my Uncle used to say," it sure beats the alternative." (rip uncle j 8/13/12).

[mlb]

While women's clothing stores treat you as if you are invisible, you relish not being stalked by men of any age.

[Yeledaf]

As your vision deteriorates, you get better looking.

So do mature ladies. (So watch out, mlb!)

[Garthur]

The Doctor keeps reminding me to keep my mind active so I have taken up reading and posting on forums.

Trying to turn myself from a type A personality to a type B.

No longer worried about failing a drug test.

Not worried about traffic violations because I only travel during daylight hours and am never in a hurry.

I now look forward to Mondays when all the working drones are back to work and off the streets so I can shop and travel without traffic jams.

Monday through Friday I have all the state parks all to myself to walk the dogs.

I can now get drunk once in awhile because I used to be on call 24/7.

Women no longer think I'm going to come-on to them.

The sheriff pulled me over for plates and we were talking like old friends even though I had a gun in the truck.

I can take a trip any day or any time.

No one tells me what to do anymore.

Spend most of the day watching the news on the TV, always know whats going on!

Made a list of all the people I've known that have now past and realized that its a longer list then the people I know now.

I'm now comfortable being in the hospital or the doctors office.

When the doctor tells me that I need to have a "procedure" in the hospital, I look forward for the change of pace.

When the Doctor tells me bad news, I ask him how long do most people live with this and then I realized that no one in my family have lived that long any way so I'm fine with it.

When I would say that I have no fear at age 40 but I was scared to death, now I really mean that I have no fear.

When a sexual related crime happens I'm never a suspect.

I find that I'm always talking about the weather now.

No one asks me what I want to do with my life.

I'm now fascinated by the history of the cigarette lighter on the History Channel

When the politicians say the social security will go bankrupt in 15 years and I just think that should be enough.

[Curmudgeon]

I can continue to be an unrepentant, unapologetic and incurable curmudgeon and no one minds. Rather, they expect it.

[Tek_Freek]

You can go back to the top of this thread and reread it. You'll laugh just as hard at all the new things someone has come up with.