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Kidding aside, how would you, for instance, talk down a potentially ugly situation like Mathjak's? It could help the rest of us to know. I ask this knowing you did get specific training.
I usualy smile slightly, speak softly and calmly and say something along the lines of, "We really don't want this to go any further, do we?" It's not worth ruining the day/evening over, is it? So I think I'll/we'll just be on our way. Have a good one!" If I get affirmation with the two questions, chances are it's over. If not or if he moves closer I get firmer. "You realy don't want to do this! There's nothing here for you. Stand back please!" If he continues to close or bars my/our way he finds hmself staring down the barrel of a gun with clear instructions to get down on his face. He's indicated and become a present threat and I'm not as young as I used to be and have a mobility issue. In the process, any sudden move or clear threat of violence also results in an armed take down.
Tone of voice is key and that's an acquired skill. The fact that I'm unruffled, quiet, assured, pleasant yet firm and decisive is what usually makes it work. I may be jumping around and totally tensed inside but I project nothing but outward calm and resolve/confidence.
As an aside, my wife says she knows it's about to get bad when I address someone as, "Partner." Thinking back, she's right.
When I lived in Manhattan people would say that you should act like an outrageously crazy madman (with flailing arms and speaking jibberish) if someone was trying to rob you and that would scare them away.
I like the story of my second husband who was a wiry guy of nordic appearance and a special forces trainer. When confronted by two young robbers on the street on his way to a formal affair they asked him what he was doing as he was wrapping his belt around his knuckles. They decided to run away. Another time this happened he just broke both their legs much to their astonishment.
Mistake #1 was probably walking a park/trail with expensive cameras around your neck. When I have mine on me, I wear a loose zip-up around it (of course that makes me look padded). After shooting, I conceal it again. Likewise I don't wear rings or other jewelry around town.
I now walk with my cell phone in hand, rather than having to fumble for it in a bag or pocket in an emergency. Not only can one come across a mugger, but bears and other wildlife are coming closer in, and I want to do my speed dial to 911 in an instant.
Mistake #2 was not saying something loud like "here, Marylin, take these cameras back to the police station (as you give her your camera) ....hurry, run..." while she has been preinstructed to make a run while dialing 911 on her easily accessible cell. (If he had attacked her, you would have gone to her aid, and the mugger would've got both of you.) Now you are alone face to face with the mugger and you say "I'm with the FBI, and just took your photo, you'd better get out of here"....or some other BS.
You said you carry a concealed weapon? Probably could have ended badly, either way.
i wasnt carrying on that occasion and im glad i wasnt only in retrospect.
if i was and he made an attempt or what i thought was an attempt to go in his pack it may have ended very badley for him if i interpreted his move wrong.
as it was i had a thousand thoughts going through my head as far as do i club him now or wait until he makes the first move.
it could have been a fatal mistake but i waited.
we still arent sure what transpired . he never actually touched us , never made a grab for the camera so im not sure what went on other then the fact i was ready to beat him if he took another step towards marilyn.
one thing i want to add about martial arts. i studied and trained for many years and the reality is unless your heavy heavy into it your skill set is really only good for sport.
it is really going to fall to the wayside in an actual scenerio.
the reason is street fighting is very efficiant and has been around forever. within seconds your both usually rolling around on the floor ruling out most martial art routines for all but the serious players
Those self defense martial arts classes and techniques only work if you practice those techniques hundreds, if not thousands of times (they have to become muscle memory, like walking). In a stressful real-life encounter where your heart is racing at 900 beats a minute and you don't have any fine motor skills, you don't have the luxury of stopping and thinking about what you have to do. Merely attending a "rape prevention seminar" in the distant past is not going to cut it.
Agreed. Even practicing something thousands of times is no guarantee. My tai chi instructor likes to mix things up, and for the Saturday class we usually spend an hour or so on self defense moves with the plastic dummy (or with a partner). We work with sticks and canes and after a few months most of us start feeling like we've gotten pretty good at it. Then every once in awhile he'll do something unexpected to simulate an "attack" and it's amazing how unprepared you discover you really are. In the surprise and fear you suddenly forget even the most basic moves or you don't strike quite where you thought you would. And that's after months of classes every weekend--I can't imagine how a single class would help all that much.
The best self-defense for elders is awareness. In my area, there have been numerous purse-snatchings perpetrated on elderly women in the grocery store parking lot. Scenario: While putting groceries in the trunk of the car, a car pulls up, a thug grabs the purse - either from the seat of the shopping cart or from the shoulder of the senior - jumps in the getaway car and gone. It's better if the purse is in the cart since grabbing it from the shoulder can cause a fall resulting in serious injury.
As for me, I no longer carry a purse. Just put my wallet in my pocket. Can a thief see me pay from said wallet when I'm at the cash register? Of course. But by not carrying a purse, I'm not making it easy for him to get it. And paying attention to who is nearby when I'm ready to exit the store, by walking with as much confidence as I can muster, by asking the manager for an escort to my car when the situation looks sketchy, I have thus far managed to avoid being relieved of my few dollars.
I'm a pretty spry 76 y.o. but I would never attempt to physically repel a younger, stronger, possibly desperate person intent on robbing me, ergo, I try to maintain my awareness of my surroundings.
As for me, I no longer carry a purse. Just put my wallet in my pocket.
That's what I do, too. Extra benefits: I save money, since I don't need to buy expensive designer purses. I save wear and tear on my shoulder, since I no longer carry around all the stuff that used to live in my purse. Found out I don't really need to lug that stuff everywhere.
The best self-defense for elders is awareness. In my area, there have been numerous purse-snatchings perpetrated on elderly women in the grocery store parking lot. Scenario: While putting groceries in the trunk of the car, a car pulls up, a thug grabs the purse - either from the seat of the shopping cart or from the shoulder of the senior - jumps in the getaway car and gone. It's better if the purse is in the cart since grabbing it from the shoulder can cause a fall resulting in serious injury.
As for me, I no longer carry a purse. Just put my wallet in my pocket. Can a thief see me pay from said wallet when I'm at the cash register? Of course. But by not carrying a purse, I'm not making it easy for him to get it. And paying attention to who is nearby when I'm ready to exit the store, by walking with as much confidence as I can muster, by asking the manager for an escort to my car when the situation looks sketchy, I have thus far managed to avoid being relieved of my few dollars.
I'm a pretty spry 76 y.o. but I would never attempt to physically repel a younger, stronger, possibly desperate person intent on robbing me, ergo, I try to maintain my awareness of my surroundings.
Theatergypsy, interesting post. However, I maintain it's better to carry a false handbag - lightweight, small,over the shoulder. It a mugger doesn't see a handbag, s/he will possibly go for an attack on you.
The biggest problem is not even loss of cash, but loss of drivers license and credit cards, etc. These take forever to replace and then you have to worry about the credit card shutdown....immediately. It's the grief over all that.
I carry a small wallet with this stuff in it. I get out of the car, and once in the store I stick it in the false handbag, pay for my purchases, and quickly slip it back into my pocket. If I am ever accosted, I'll fling the handbag and say here, it's yours, go get it.
Parking lots are targets because they're huge, no police or security around, and most people won't step in to get involved.
I usualy smile slightly, speak softly and calmly and say something along the lines of, "We really don't want this to go any further, do we?" It's not worth ruining the day/evening over, is it? So I think I'll/we'll just be on our way. Have a good one!" If I get affirmation with the two questions, chances are it's over. If not or if he moves closer I get firmer. "You realy don't want to do this! There's nothing here for you. Stand back please!" If he continues to close or bars my/our way he finds hmself staring down the barrel of a gun with clear instructions to get down on his face. He's indicated and become a present threat and I'm not as young as I used to be and have a mobility issue. In the process, any sudden move or clear threat of violence also results in an armed take down.
Tone of voice is key and that's an acquired skill. The fact that I'm unruffled, quiet, assured, pleasant yet firm and decisive is what usually makes it work. I may be jumping around and totally tensed inside but I project nothing but outward calm and resolve/confidence.
As an aside, my wife says she knows it's about to get bad when I address someone as, "Partner." Thinking back, she's right.
I can see where this might work well with one potential accoster (is that a word? ), especially spoken by a male, who can impart some kind of authority and fatherly kind of figure (to probably a male accoster). I wonder if that would work if spoken by a woman, esp a younger woman. I also wonder how that would work if there were more than one accoster, who are intent on a mugging.
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When I have mine on me, I wear a loose zip-up around it (of course that makes me look padded). After shooting, I conceal it again. Likewise I don't wear rings or other jewelry around town.
), especially spoken by a male, who can impart some kind of authority and fatherly kind of figure (to probably a male accoster). I wonder if that would work if spoken by a woman, esp a younger woman. I also wonder how that would work if there were more than one accoster, who are intent on a mugging.
