Segregate or integrate, seniors are a fact of life. (55, grandparents, physically)

[soapboxsallysmom]

A curious thing happened today in Tampa. For the first time anywhere, a speed limit sign was erected cautioning people to Slow Down for Seniors. This sign appears at a busy intersection near a seniors only apartment complex.

I can hear you all groaning now, but it raises an interesting dilemma. We take care to protect children, but never think in the same way for seniors, the fraille kind. We hear plenty of jokes and complaints about how inconvenient it is to have them in our neighborhoods (not sure of the reasons yet), and other disparaging comments about old people. The irony of this is that if some of you are lucky, you might get to be a senior. If and when that happens, how would feel hearing the younger people on these pages refer to you as such a burden and annoyance.

My post is to get you to really think about your own attitude about seniors in your neighborhood, and if you happen to be a senior, do you prefer to be isolated from younger families or live among them in a homogenous society as we did many years ago. I'll add my opinion later on.

I'm looking forward to some sincere thoughts on this subject from the young as well as the older members.

Thanks.

[mountain_time_Blues]

Back in HS me and a couple of other people went to an assisted living center for community service(no not that type the good type lol). We planted some flowers and a couple of trees. Then helped clean the place. After that we just talked with them. They all were very interstng. Heard a couple of war stories, how President Hoover wasn't all that bad, what they did to make money for their families during the depression. These were oblivously older seinors but most of them were still very sharp and still learning. That probably was the happiest they'd been in a long time and also made them feel like someone cared about them. We should stop being so slefish because when we're that old I'm sure you would want someone to talk to and feel carred about...

[soapboxsallysmom]

Thanks MTB for your thoughtful reply.. What is your opinion about the last part of the question and your approximate age?

[a1m1700]

Originally Posted by soapboxsallysmom

A curious thing happened today in Tampa. For the first time anywhere, a speed limit sign was erected cautioning people to Slow Down for Seniors. This sign appears at a busy intersection near a seniors only apartment complex.

I can hear you all groaning now, but it raises an interesting dilemma. We take care to protect children, but never think in the same way for seniors, the fraille kind. We hear plenty of jokes and complaints about how inconvenient it is to have them in our neighborhoods (not sure of the reasons yet), and other disparaging comments about old people. The irony of this is that if some of you are lucky, you might get to be a senior. If and when that happens, how would feel hearing the younger people on these pages refer to you as such a burden and annoyance.

My post is to get you to really think about your own attitude about seniors in your neighborhood, and if you happen to be a senior, do you prefer to be isolated from younger families or live among them in a homogenous society as we did many years ago. I'll add my opinion later on.

I'm looking forward to some sincere thoughts on this subject from the young as well as the older members.

Thanks.

I'm 43 and my mother is 80 and I'm watching her getting older and older and I feel like I'm not far behind myself. Right now I think when I'm older I'd like to live around people my own age. Maybe when I get to be a senior I might change my mind, I don't know. I don't really have the patience now for younger kids, I'm sure when I have grandchildren that will change.

I guess the answer now would be isolate me from younger families. Like I said that could change.

[mountain_time_Blues]

If I were a senior I would live as long as I could as far from people as possible. Because of the independence that comes with living in an isolated community. As far as them living in younger communities, it depends on the communty and if it can fit their needs or not. I'm early 20's btw. Graduated in '04. Long way to go!

[grammy164]

I live in a small community (with an HOA--whole other thread...) in FL. We have many snowbirds that come down here during the winter. For the last couple of years they've tried to turn this place into a 55+ community. Fortunately it hasn't passed, but they don't want the young people here.
We have a community pool. I was at the pool this spring when a lady and her grandson joined me. The grandson was floating around with a swim ring close to where I was. The grandmother came up to me and asked me if he was bothering me. I said, "Of course not. He's fine." She then felt the need to tell me this was his first time in FL and others had complained. I couldn't believe it (well, actually I could.) I told her that's what pools were for--to have fun in. I mean he wasn't doing anything. I felt bad that she felt the need to be so concerned. In the summer, after all the snowbirds have gone home, it's so much fun to see the kids relax and have a good time in the water.
My Dad lives here too. He's 81. The reason he moved here was because it wasn't a retirement community. He says watching the kids keeps him young.
I was very surprised when I realized the way things were here. I just don't get it. I love talking to the older people I know (actually they're not snowbirds)--love hearing their stories. And I love watching the kids ride bikes and even splash in the pool. I don't understand why there's a problem with everyone enjoying each other, learning from each other and respecting each other. I had never seen this as an issue until I moved here.

[mountain_time_Blues]

Originally Posted by grammy164

I don't understand why there's a problem with everyone enjoying each other, learning from each other and respecting each other. I had never seen this as an issue until I moved here.

Thats simple to explain. Mean people become mean old people.

[MoMark]

I'm 43, my mom is 64, my grandmother is 88 and I think we must show regard and respect to our elderly. I certainly don't consider my mother a 'senior' as she acts and looks like a woman of 50. But she uses the 'title' for discounts without hesitation! I get pretty upset when I see people not showing respect for elderly folks. My grandmother used to abuse it by putting on the "cute little old lady" routine in stores so she could cut in line... then she'd act innocent of knowing she'd done so and people would smile and excuse it while I turned red in embarrassment 15 ft. away watching. I called her on it once and she said: "I'm an old lady now, I get benefits". And that was the end of that conversation. She's 88 now and she has problems standing for long, and her hearing is going, so now I would insist on her getting priority if I were with her. My mother treats my grandmother so well. She moved her into a house she owned back in the late 80's and re-did the house to my grandmother's liking, installed new air/heat, just updated the whole thing and of course, my grandmother lives there for free. My mom also takes her off to Lake Tahoe frequently for overnight or weekend stays so grandma can gamble (SHE LOVES IT), and she stops in about four times a week physically to see how things are, plus on Tuesdays she picks her up from the hairdresser (the hairdresser actually picks her up from home, but my mom completes the pickup after she's done and takes her home) because if grandma doesn't get her hair done on time.... well..her nickname is "Pinky" and when the hair isn't right, she becomes... "Pinkenstein".. So mom makes sure grandma's hair gets priority. She also calls her every day. I talk with her frequently and she's pestering my mom to take her to Missouri. I just want her to come when it's not too cold as I know the winter here would be miserable for her. She's got 7 grandchildren and 5 greatgrandchildren and yet when I call, she recognizes my voice off the bat immediately. Most elderly people have mellowed, really seen what is important in life, and aren't upset so much by the human condition like we younger folks who are reinventing the wheel all the time. It's too bad life doesn't give them more time to indulge in the serenity of their earned wisdom, but while they're here, we should recognize and cherish it.

[Global Friend]

I'm so happy you started this thread.

I lived with my grandparents a large portion of my life and when they were just about to retire my grandmother had four strokes (2 major) and my grandfather had three and almost died. When my grandmother had the last stroke it was so bad that she had to be placed in a rehab nursing home because she couldn't be cared for at home. At this point my grandfather was in such a deep depression he couldn't even leave the house not to mention he had his own health problems.

I had at the time already moved about forty minutes away but would drive to see my grandmother and check that she was clean & cared for properly three to five times a week. The facility did a great job and the people that worked there were very kind but I wanted to make sure she was treated with this respect. This went on for almost a year before she past away and I would leave the rehab crying everytime. I wasn't just crying because of seeing my grandmother in that condition, it was because most of the time I went there I was the ONLY one there. There were so many people old and sick and thier family never went to see them. The people were so lonely, bored and sad it broke my heart. I have respect for elderly people and I didn't know so many of them were just forgotten about.

I hear sometimes people say old people are grouchy or even mean. That's not true, I have dealt with literally thousands of different people over my career and met so many nice seniors. A lot of times they are lonely and just want someone to talk to, that's it.

I'm 42 and my positive thoughts about seniors are:
1. They always seem like they can remember a joke from forty years ago.
2. They have the most interesting stories to tell.
3. They tell it like it is.
4. You can always learn something from them.
5. Even if they don't see their kids that much they would still do anything for them.
6. Those that have pets take really good care of them.
7. They make me feel good if they let me give them my seat on the train or bus.
8. They lived a long & hopefully good life!

At the risk of sounding corny:

Please make someone smile and call or visit your parents, grandparents or any senior in your life, don't forget about them. If a senior starts to tell a story, don't brush them off..... give them your ear for a few minutes. What you give you will get back ten times over.

(to SS I love you for calling your grandmother every week and so does she!)

[cahpsuth]

In Scotland (UK) we have roadsigns which warn drivers of any area where there may be old people crossing, for example old folks homes or centres for older people. I've just made the biggest mistake - our older people are called senior citizens - not old people